Eighteen's Bed-Chapter 30.1

"Kang Yohan, listen."

"Nothing."

"Stop messing around, you bastard. I'm being serious. Don't misunderstand, I’m really serious here."

"Serious?"

"...Do you like men?"

The mouse’s thin tail tapped the trap. The trap missed it. Damn. I bit my tongue in frustration.

"Me?"

But the food the mouse left behind looked too delicious.

Me? Had I really done that?

The hand that had been rubbing my lips dropped to my chin, sliding down and lightly poking my neck. It slid to the middle of my chest, clicking against my clavicle. That was fun. I squeezed the rotting cheese the mouse had left behind and twisted it. I flicked my chest with my bent finger and asked:

"Did I?"

I inhaled sharply, tilting my chin. No, I hadn’t.

"No? Of course not, right?"

"Of course not. Fucking bastard."

"Shit. I never believed it either! I just asked, you bastard."

The mouse spun around near the trap, barking like a beast, then retreated into the darkness. I scratched near my chest and asked Cheese:

"Why did you think that?"

"Oh, actually..."

Cheese pointed his sharp snout and whispered. "Jo Jeuk said so."

"Who’s Jo Jeuk?"

I asked.

"That guy."

Cheese mumbled a single word, then came closer and whispered even softer:

"His dad was just elected as our district’s congressman. Candidate No. 2, Jo Gyeongcheol."

Cheese’s voice was heavy and dark like a boulder in the middle of the mountains at midnight. It sounded like the rustling of leaves on a mountain at dawn, or the distant sound of water flowing from some hidden valley. Ah, then I understood and nodded. Something interesting was happening.

I raised my head and smiled.

"I know him. Oh, I know."

"Anyway, he said you like men."

"Interesting thought."

That was my reaction to the rumor about me.

What did Jo Jeuk think of me to bring that up? I’m curious. The spring on the trap let out a sharp noise as it opened wide again. Waiting for new prey in the ceiling, dusty corners, and dark places.

I pulled my shirt collar down, resting my finger on it, and thought for a moment before asking Cheese:

"Jo Jeuk, you said?"

Cheese nodded a few times. I pulled my collar tight, stood up, and decided to go meet Jo Jeuk.

"Where are you going?"

"Me? I don’t know."

I didn’t know where Jo Jeuk was. It wasn’t surprising, really.

But I knew this rumor was bound to cause a nasty incident. It was my instinct. My instincts were usually spot on, nine out of ten times. And I had a feeling something very interesting was going to happen because of this. Once again, I felt confident in my instincts.

I hummed as I crossed the hallway, my steps light, almost bouncing off the dry wooden floor. Every time I made eye contact with someone, I stopped them and asked:

"Do you know Jo Jeuk?"

To my surprise, everyone who was asked knew him.

I vaguely remembered Jo Jeuk’s appearance from about a year ago. He was shorter than me by about two spans and a little chubby. I remembered that his father was running for congress and he was bouncing around with excitement about it.

But I wasn’t that close to him.

What exactly did Jo Jeuk think of me to spread such ridiculous rumors? As expected, I needed to go directly and clear up the misunderstanding.

"That narrow-minded bastard."

I blew a gust of air toward the sky. My hot breath met the cold air, turning into white mist. Truthfully, my mood had been declining steadily. I was just curious, but when I asked the random passersby if they knew Jo Jeuk, I could read the disdain in their eyes.

Crazy. Bastards.

"...Looks like the fun idea spread a little too far."

The key I held in my hand cooled my palm. Before leaving the classroom, I had taken the classroom key without permission. The person in charge probably couldn’t even lock the door because of me. I felt a little bad about that.

Still, my business was more important, right? What does it matter if some guy, whose name I don’t even know, can’t get home? I made a loud sound with the key in my hand, threw it, and caught it. Then, just as I was about to reach the classroom where Jo Jeuk was, I grabbed the arm of a random guy passing by.

"Huh? Why...?"

"Do you know Jo Jeuk? Where is he?"

I held back my anger and smiled widely, showing my teeth. It’s always better to be polite, right? Fortunately, this guy seemed to appreciate my kindness and, with a very polite face, pointed somewhere.

"That's him."

"Ah, thanks. You’re blessed."

I lightly slapped his arm and then looked toward where Jo Jeuk was. There, I saw a tall guy who looked surprisingly handsome. Oh, he’s good-looking. He’s only about an inch shorter than me now. I thought he was some nerd spreading these rumors. He didn’t look like that at all. I clapped my hands in admiration at the unexpected appearance.

At that moment, a friendly group chatting while leaning against the window all stared at me. Wow, look at them staring at me. I felt a creepy joy as my back tingled. Although I was a little dissatisfied seeing their faces freeze in place, I forgave them with a broad heart and opened my arms toward Jo Jeuk.

"Jeuk-ah!"

"G-Go, Go Yohan?"

"Nice to see you. Long time no see. We’re all here, huh? We went to the same kindergarten, remember!"

"Uh, hi."

He seemed awkward. He was one of those shy types. I tensed my brow for a moment, then relaxed and smiled even more brightly. I stepped forward with my arms wide open, and Jo Jeuk hesitated but eventually stood up. A bright, cheerful greeting is always the best, right? Isn’t it? I gave him a wink, and it seemed like he agreed with me. But that bastard frowned and asked me:

"...But did we really go to the same kindergarten?"

"No?"

I moved my hand, still open, and lifted Jo Jeuk’s chin. It fit perfectly into the soft spot between his jaw and neck. It slid in just right. A small scream didn’t even come out. Watching him fall, with his whites showing, was so funny that I couldn’t stop laughing. He was trying to push me around. As I watched his stiff body fall backward, I opened my hands again. With a thud, his body, now like a stick, slammed to the ground, head first. I waved my hands excitedly at the fallen Jo Jeuk.

"I’m homeschooled. Fucking bastard."

A silence hung in the hallway. Everyone was staring at me, so I rolled my eyes and smiled back.

"So what?"

****

"This mansion is really beautiful."

My mother’s voice in the early morning was like fingernails scraping across a chalkboard. Her voice, so pristine it had never encountered hardship, scraped my ears as though it might tear them apart. The direction my mother was pointing to revealed a mansion that stretched beyond the end of the wall.

"It went up for auction, but it was still ridiculously expensive."

No one answered her. Gorosa simply lay on the backseat, resting her head on my mother’s lap. The car drove up the hill. The driver’s skills were always perfect, while my mother and Gorosa were having a silent mental battle. Of course, it was a battle Gorosa was bound to lose.

"Rosa."

"…Yes."

"Moving was a good choice. You know that house kept having bugs, right? Plus, the new house, though a little smaller than the old one, has a big cathedral nearby. The neighborhood is nice, too. It definitely has a youthful vibe. You know, the house prices around here have been skyrocketing lately."

"…"

"…Rosa."

"What?"

"When are you going to stop being angry?"

"…"

A coldness settled into my mother’s calm voice. Only then did Gorosa drag out her words.

"I’m just tired. I have to wake up an hour early to go to school."

"Well, the driver will take you. Rosa, think more positively. Why are you always so negative?"

"…I…"

"Are you going to talk about my brother again? Trying to make excuses for him again?"

Why does she always do this? Gorosa muttered softly, and my mother grabbed her beloved daughter's arm and tightened her grip. Gorosa and I exchanged looks through the rearview mirror. Her cold expression scanned the driver, then she quickly turned her face away.

"I got it. Sorry."

"Rosa, your brother is a good guy, so he tolerates your little tantrums. If you were in another family, you'd be in big trouble."

What does she know, being the youngest of the three sisters? I just want to vomit everything out. I hate the smell of gasoline. I hate the smell of asphalt too. Whenever I inhale the hot tar, it feels like I want to bury my face in lava and die. I even hate the smell of leather seats. That filthy motion sickness smell. I rubbed my head against the dirty leather seat.

The move, which took place at one in the morning, was quiet and secretive, like a bug crawling around the floor behind the owner’s back. My mother, who thrives on carrots, gleamed with excitement and pointed at the darkness outside the window.

"Look, look again. What do you think? Pretty, right?"

"……"

"Rosa, look. See? That room with the window is your room. You’ll be able to see the entire garden from your room. It’s the biggest and most beautiful room in the house. I picked it just for you."

The little brat, who knows nothing, couldn’t even see where her own window was.

Let her glare all she wants. Let’s see if the world changes.

On Christmas night, I impulsively threw a stone into the sky, but what came back was not freedom or liberation, only oppression and the sledgehammer. The only thing that changed was this: I became a bug.

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"Yeah? Our puppy, cheer up."

I saw my mother, with a kind smile, gently tickling Gorosa’s cheek through the rearview mirror. Gorosa glared at me and twisted her face. I wanted to kill that damn dog. She doesn’t even know she’s acting like baby Jesus, and yet, she’s jealous of me. The sight makes me sick.

Yet, I kept my mouth shut, staring blankly ahead in the front seat. I purposely didn’t even look at the new house. Who the hell would want to look at a house they might have to see for the rest of their

«N.o.v.e.l.i.g.h.t»

life, even for a second longer? Oh, here it is. The Virgin Mary trapped in the rearview mirror. The image of my mother, reflected in the mirror, was that of a girl looking at a dollhouse with shining eyes, stuck in her fantasy.

The truth is, the only place bugs go is the trash. They’ll be crushed under a white tissue, bursting and dying, spitting out the blood they sucked from humans, without even making a sound, and dying without glory. That’s my life. So, that house is nothing but a trash can.

"Yohan, your room is over there. What do you think? The window’s huge. Can you see the house next door? From your room, you’ll see the magnolia tree blooming at the edge of their garden. I heard the person who introduced the house said they planted expensive magnolia saplings on purpose. So, every spring, it creates a picturesque view."

Oh, damn, it must be really pretty. Stealing views of other people’s houses. Killing two birds with one stone.

Well, honestly, it’s better to look at a magnolia tree than the trash pile I’ll be stuck in. The magnolia tree under the streetlight was white and pure. It made me want to rip it apart and dirty it. I don't want to be the only one falling into hell.

Damn, I wasn’t born to live like this.

Now, there’s only one thing I believe in. Edison was a bug at first. So am I.

Also, Edison didn’t invent the light bulb. He stole the invention and commercialized it. His most famous and credible achievement was inventing the electric chair, a tool of execution. Still, our bug was probably happy. After all, Thomas Edison was loved.

Changing the neighborhood where you’ve lived your whole life changes a lot. First off, the surroundings became a trash heap. Looking at the school scenery, I couldn’t tell if it was a higher education institution or a garbage dump. My life was already rotting like trash, but this? This is not it.

This is exactly the level of the neighborhood. A mix of Class 1 and Class 4 water.

I never liked this neighborhood in the first place. It disgusts me. The muddy water mixed with filth makes my eyes melt and dissolve. Look at the worms that only live in the muck, forming a mass like a festering boil. The truth is, I spat out bile in front of the school gate right after some stupid event like the entrance ceremony ended.

Looking at the kids passing by, it really seemed like hell’s kitchen. But these bastards, I wonder if they had some tight bonds with each other. As soon as they saw each other, they acted like they knew each other.

"Fuck! You, you’re Choi Myungwoo, right? It’s you, isn’t it? Yeah, you! Do you know Ha Jinseok? That bastard used to buy me bread. You’re friends with Ha Jinseok, right? Jinseok talks about you all the time."

"You... you’re Kim Minho? Are you in this class? Shit, this year is doomed."

"Fuck! Shut your fucking mouth before you talk."

Watching them act like monkeys in a zoo, I kind of found it amusing. How do you even shut your mouth? Do you use your mouth? How? Fucking idiots. They were talking loudly, acting like bugs, when I subtly made eye contact with them. And then they whispered where I could hear it.

"Hey, where did that guy go to middle school?"

Fuck—bastards. I can hear everything.

To the right, you could see elegant mansions lined up, and to the left, there was the neighborhood smelling like damp rags. The place I was destined to rot in for three years was an old public high school. The chairs that creaked when you moved were horrific, but since the space was filled with things more malicious than Satan, it was bearable.

I’d never regretted anything in my life until today.

Hitting Jo Jeuk was a mistake.

I didn’t expect things to blow up this big. I didn’t think I’d be leaving this neighborhood. But I’m not desperate. After all, my life hasn’t gone the way I wanted for a long time, so I’ve long since stopped thinking about the consequences before acting.

"What’s with the move? Are you all crazy?"

Apparently, with just one punch, Jo Jeuk’s vocal cords were torn. He’ll spend his life making metal noises. Though Jo Gyeongcheol, the local congressman, seemed to have a different laugh than mine. He froze his face and trembled in front of me. He said that our son was scared to attend school with your son, and hoped their schools wouldn’t overlap. I almost died from how childish that was.

Well then, teach your kid better. You fucking asshole.