FFF-Tier System, SSS-Rank Wife-Chapter 42: Hold. Your. Horses.

"NOOO!"

I shoot up, terror filling my heart, my veins, and my soul.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what could potentially happen to the Saintess... All because of my own damn stupidity!

’No! Please, no! Anything but that!’

She helped me so much. She literally saved my life, brought me to the town’s relative safety, helped me to get connected, and was even out with me to protect my experiment!

And how did I repay her?

By putting her life in jeopardy?!

’God, please, anything but...!’

Terrified to the end of my wits, I finally turned around—

"What?"

Selia sat down on her heels, looking at me all confused, if not outright weirded out.

This expression of hers lasted only for a second, before her face changed, turning from surprise to alert and then worry.

’She is... she is...’

Frozen in place, I could only swallow my spit.

’She’s...!’

Before I could even properly form a single thought, all the strength left my body. Left with no power to keep my legs straight, my knees caved in, sending me down to the ground, down on those very traitorous knees that just gave up on me.

"Thank God..."

A soft whisper escaped from my mouth right as an immense wave of relief washed over me.

In my head, I already convinced myself that my reckless attempt at changing my fate doomed Selia in turn. It would be a fitting price to ask for an SSS-Ranked being in exchange for granting an SSS-Rank fate for me.

And right now, I felt like praising the Lord with endless prayer over how my attempt actually failed rather than succeeded.

If Selia were the one to pay the price of my own greed, I would never be able to forgive myself for it!

"WHAT?!"

Selia followed my example and shot up from her knees, torn when seeing me go from full-on panic to sudden exhaustion and powerlessness.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!"

She reached me with a single jump, dropping her hands down on my shoulders and keeping me still as she quickly inspected my face. Her eyes then wandered all over my body, searching for any sign of wound or injury before finally landing back on my face.

"Thank God you are alright..." with tears of relief welling down in my eyes, I whispered, staring right back into Selia’s face.

My hand moved, reaching out as if to caress Selia’s cheek—

Thankfully, I regained my senses right in time to redirect it and use it to cover my face instead.

Then, a long sigh of deepmost relief followed.

"Wait, was it another nightmare?" Selia asked, her voice growing soft as her face mellowed down, her own panic now replaced with legitimate worry and concern.

"No, not nightmare," I quickly denied with a shake of my head. "Just my own recklessness and stupidity," I added, collapsing even further down on my own heels as all the panic-born strength finally evaporated from my body, leaving me almost entirely powerless.

Having no better option, I resorted to doing the one thing that proved itself over and over again.

I stabilized my breath and took my sweet time to let this breathing pattern slowly disperse my raging emotions, allowing me to properly calm down. And through all the time I took, Selia just... was there, right next to me, down on her knees and keeping me steady by holding me by my shoulders.

"You sedated me, didn’t you?" I opened up my eyes and spoke out once I finally managed to calm down and gather my thoughts.

"What?" Unprepared for a sudden change of topic, Selia could only lean her head over to the side in confusion.

’Ah, wording...’

I shook my head.

"You used some sort of spell to help me fall asleep, right?"

There was no accusatory note in my voice, just a plain question, just me confirming my suspicions.

Rather than answering, though, Selia blushed slightly before turning her head and looking away.

"No, don’t get me wrong," I quickly shook my head again, "I’m not trying to blame you, it’s nothing like that. But..." I hesitated for a moment, "Can we try doing it all over again? Just..." I hesitated for a second as I took a moment to think things through, "just give me a moment to calm down first."

With one more breath, I gathered all of my strength and stood up, allowing Selia’s hands to gently slide off my shoulders but remain at the ready, in case I were to lose my sense of balance and fall over.

Thankfully, nothing like that happened.

And so, in the bid to properly calm myself down and, through this, prepare for another dive into the dream realm, I moved over to the kiln and carefully removed its cap.

A puff of smoke and a sudden blast of heat from the now-open hole confirmed that everything was going as it was supposed to. Still, I went ahead and then leaned in, only reaching satisfaction upon ensuring everything was in order with my own two eyes.

I put the cap back into the kiln, opting not to disturb it any more than necessary before turning back to face the concerned Saintessa again.

"Okay, let’s dive in," I suggested, more or less ready to put the scare away and move on. "But this time, just in case..." I pressed my lips together, reiterating what exactly I needed Selia to prepare, "Can you prepare a spell that, unless you keep holding it back, will instantly separate the two of us?"

Selia remained still for a moment before slowly standing up, dusting her skirt off and then straightening her back. She then walked over to me and dropped her hands down on my shoulders again. Then, after taking a deep breath...

"Hold. Your. Horses."

Then, silence.

Or so I would say, if not for the intense look in her eyes as she stared right back into mine. Then, as the sound of her voice fully died down, "What happened?"

I breathed in and then out.

"You know how I don’t have a system?"

Selia furrowed her brows, confused by the sudden change of topic. Still, she glanced up above my head before turning her eyes back to my face and then nodding her lovely head up and down, trying her best to follow my words.

"And systems are expressions of one’s fate, am I right?"

Once again, Selia nodded, equally as confused as she was just a moment ago.

I took a deep breath.

Even though there was a chance I was about to make one hell of a mistake by revealing it, after stupidly risking her life and safety despite all that she has done for me, a little bit of trust was in a damned order!

"I think it’s not that I’m fateless," I revealed before gulping down my saliva.

Even if it was Selia I was telling it to, the weight of those words was still enough to scare me.

"As it turns out..." I cleared out my throat, "with your help, I think I can try to shape my own fate."