Flip the Coin [BL]-Chapter 446. The Paranoia ABC

The man carried me one step after another, and with each of these slight ups and downs, I felt my psyche taking more damage, giving way to the paranoia.

I, meanwhile, knew how it was to spiral down, which should have helped me to stop the process.

But at the same time, I had also become an expert at identifying and using the smallest incidents as clues, as evidence, as assurance—knowledge that I could serve myself, shove it down my throat to then choke on the fear spreading through my mind and body.

Always, always looking for fake control in these helpless situations, by ’seeing the bigger picture’ and ’finally facing the truth’—but wasn’t it...

Wasn’t it just my mind playing me dirty?

Now I didn’t have tiny clues to fuel my paranoia but blatant truths to suffocate on, like A DEAD MAN WALKING, KILLED BY ME, while I was in another body, with family members out to catch me, working together with the DEAD MAN but, foremost, the same family that had stolen my blood WHEN I WAS A KID.

So naturally, I spiraled; I THINK ANYONE WOULD!

So here I go?!

My mind filled itself with questions the paranoia was eager to answer.

|How is the motherfucker still alive?

a) He came back to life like ELJ, aka Elijah.

b) I am currently in another world and am seeing his counterpart.|

We crossed the hall with the greenish light, entering a room with a lot less brightness, and I was finally placed down on a bed, I think.

The blood had finally stopped clogging my head and feet, and the pressure on my stomach disappeared.

|B, if I am in another world, did I cross over with Harry’s body?

c) You are in your own body.

d) -> a) You are in your own body but in your own world.|

"That’s all; let’s get the doctor." Only the guys carrying us entered this new, dimmer room, and I hoped they weren’t talking about the DEAD MAN.

Because if they fetched the DEAD MAN, I didn’t know if I could stop myself from killing him again. 𝙛𝓻𝒆𝓮𝒘𝙚𝙗𝒏𝙤𝙫𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝒐𝙢

|D, How did they catch me?

e) Your grandmother secretly handed you over to your father.

2

f) Everyone was participating to collectively get rid of you; you were capturedcapturedcapturedcaptured.|

I felt myself being tied to the bed with four straps, one over my collarbones and one over my solar plexus, thighs, and ankles.

More importantly, I could hear that the others were also strapped to the bed; it seemed we were all in the same room, all lying on beds, and all fixated to some beds.

The men left the room, and I snapped my eyes open. With my head turned to the left already, I didn’t need to move to see my bed neighbors, as I confirmed what I had heard.

|F, How?

g) The government deal was just a ruse.

h) They didn’t want you to come to the warehouse so that you could be ambushed at home.

i) You were drugged and don’t remember how; you are hallucinating the rest.|

I left my eyes open when I heard the door open again and heard three sets of footsteps.

"How are the little lambs? Should we take a look?" Dr. Carell asked but didn’t move away from the door while I clenched my jaw to stop myself from attempting to rip him apart again.

A dangerous little man with dangerous little tendencies, someone who harmed my dog and touched what’s mine, FUCKING DISSECTING HIS PAW!

The same paw that was so audaciously roaming my body or tenderly cupping my face—HOW FUCKING DARE HE TO LIVE? HOW DARE HE?

"Please leave. You are not responsible from here on." A stern, very, VERY unhappy female voice spoke—HA!

DO WE HAVE FUCKING DOORS OPEN ON DAY HERE? CHRISTMAS? SOME REUNION PARTY I WASN’T AWARE OF? WHY THE FUCK DO I FIND EACH AND EVERY PERSON I SEARCHED FOR GATHERED HERE TOGETHER, WORKING FOR THE ENEMY?

|G, H, I, did they drug my own body?

j) Yes.

k) That is why your body and mind feel strange.|

Dr. Lawrence, OUR DR. LAWRENCE FROM THE CENTER, practically threw Dr. Carell out of the room.

"Leave," she insisted, and as if Dr. Carell already anticipated that reaction, he really left with a chuckle.

"Bianca, come check the girls first," Dr. Lawrence demanded the moment the door closed and the man was out.

I saw Dr. Lawrence and that Gothic girl—WHOM I ALSO RECOGNIZED FROM THE CENTER, HA!—walking past me, allowing me to see them walking to the end of the row.

DON’T I HAVE ENOUGH REASONS TO BE PARANOID? WHAT IS ALL THIS SHIT?

They unmasked an apparent girl who turned out to be Chelsea, removing the tight fabric above her head before checking her vitals.

Next, Bianca went to the female in the bed behind the one beside mine.

I watched them handle the girls very carefully when suddenly a girl on my right slightly moaned, and Dr. Lawrence hurried to her and took her mask off as well.

"Are you alright, dear?" Dr. Lawrence asked.

"Where...?" It was one of the twins.

There was a bit of silence before I heard Dr. Lawrence whisper,

"There are cameras here..."

"..." The girl fell silent.

"My sister? How long did we sleep?" she eventually asked.

"She is alright," Bianca twittered, and Dr. Lawrence answered next.

"Nearly a day. We changed the location to monitor your sleep, just like we told you before." The last part sounded to me as if she was saying it for the cameras.

|J, K, am I having a paranoid fit?

l) No.

m) You have never been as sane as you are right now.

n) Trust your feelings, your instincts! You are finally facing the facts!|

The twin hummed.

While still playing the paranoia alphabet quiz with myself, I simultaneously gathered SO MUCH MORE MUNITION TO FREAK OUT ABOUT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

One fucking alphabet isn’t enough for all this shit.

What I’ve got till now: apparently the Center Group wasn’t volunteering to be here—well, I figured.

Apparently the Center Group should not be made aware of the mission they had just completed while being brainwashed—I figured that as well.

Apparently Dr. Lawrence isn’t very happy to be here either, and it seemed she had far less say in her family than I had thought, or else she wouldn’t give a damn about the cameras.

And... because she warned the twin about the cameras, we can be sure that she was on the Center Group’s side and not her family’s.

Good, at least we had an insider here.

|L, M, N, What do I do?

o) Protect yourself.

p) Protect yourself.|

"I’ll check on the others and be right back," Dr. Lawrence said to the girl and did as she announced, next coming to me.

I had already spotted the camera on the ceiling, and seeing her body blocking it, I decided to take a risk, which wasn’t really one because in the worst case, I could...well, if I was in Harry’s body, I could just go back to my own.

If my paranoia was right and I was in my own body, I could just...protect myself.

|O, P, how?

q) Kill them.|

Maybe it was because of the drugs, but I didn’t experience the usual hysteria that usually accompanied my paranoid fits, just chaotic thinking—that made so much sense to me though.

Dr. Lawrence removed my mask, and our eyes met before she even had the chance to get rid of the earphones in my ears or the tight shawl or whatever was all over my neck and head.

|Q, Who?

r) Everyone trying to hurt you.

s) Everyone trying to steal from you.

t) Everyone trying to touch you.|

She didn’t yell or scream; she just froze for a long moment.

Then she covered my eyes, as if just unintentionally grazing them on her way to remove the tight shawl and earphones from me.

I closed my eyes.

"I need your help later..." she said in passing.

Bianca answered while unmasking someone else.

"Sure. Tell me later."

"I want to move the bed in my room; let’s do it at night," Dr. Lawrence continued.

"Alright."

Dr. Lawrence bent over me as if she was readjusting the strap, and I opened my eyes, slowly blinking to show that I understood.

|R, S, T Can I stop doing this shit to myself now? You see that there are people who are on your side, don’t you?

u) Are you sure enough to bet your life on it?

v) You just exposed yourself; come at night, and they will capture and kill you.

w) Are you dumb? How can you trust anyone when even your siblings and father are out to get you?|

I could see my red eyes reflecting in Dr. Lawrence’s eyes before feeling her warm hand on them again, and I suddenly thought of Henry’s paw, which was so much bigger and so much hotter.

And suddenly the vortex that had gone so still finally started to pull on me again.

|Do you really think the horny puppy would sell you out? Have you gone fucking crazy?

x) Never.

y) Never ever.

z) You already know that this gay fucker is head over heels for you, don’t you? —So what’s with the question, asshole?|

Pffft... X, Y, Z.