Flip the Coin [BL]-Chapter 457. So Down (by Mother Mother)

Henry’s POV

The moment I woke up, I was angry at myself.

I missed the relaxing day.

And given that it was in the middle of the night, we only had one day left before life as free men started, and we needed to go out again.

When we went out, there would be people bothering us, distracting Kenny, and latching onto him for rescue, his attention—to get on my nerves.

We would have to leave the city in a few weeks, changing our home, probably fighting further monsters, landing in one or two new worlds, and life would continue with even more people latching onto him for rescue, his attention—to get on my nerves.

Everyone would continue to distract him, pull him away from me, and with him constantly meeting other people, seeing girls that hadn’t stabbed him, were full of ulcers, or were his grandmother, maybe even becoming a chief... What would happen to us and our relationship?

Constant distraction, constant temptations...

I can’t wait anymore.

I need a commitment—the biggest commitment a straight man can offer.

But that wasn’t all; I just want him like crazy.

He owes me this after disappearing from me, leaving me alone for so long.

In the end, what I was doing was excusing my own insecurities, my impatience, and my desires, but I don’t care anymore; again, I can’t wait any longer.

And if I had to eradicate these unnecessary people, the whole world, for just a moment of peaceful intimacy, I would do just that... gladly so.

The hand holding tightly onto mine pulled me away from the darkness in my mind.

So warm, so secure, I really hope you won’t hate me.

I chuckled ...

Impossible.

I had thought it through, long and hard—I had one year alone that I used to not only manically write down his name but also to envision the way I would bring his body under mine.

Enough time to research, to read, to search, to find, and to order.

Though the last part hadn’t worked as efficiently, the parcel still found its way to me thanks to Ethan.

I had gone through what he would say, what he would do, and how I could use an eventual injury from him punching me during the negotiation to gain his pity; I schemed endlessly, and now I CAN’T JUST WAIT ANYMORE.

I cautiously pulled our entwined hands up to kiss the back of his hand a few times before slipping out of his grip.

I stood up, my heart hammering in my chest as I approached the closet and retrieved the parcel before looking around.

I needed a table to negotiate thoroughly.

The kitchen table wasn’t appropriate—so my eyes darted back to the closet.

Then I put the parcel down and retrieved my drawings from above, looking through them once again and feeling fluttery to no end.

I put them under my shirt as my personal lucky charm before silently lifting the closet and putting it down sideways again.

Then I went behind it and pulled it down so that the closet doors were facing upwards.

A bit of pulling here and there, and the only furniture in the room turned into the perfect negotiation table.

I positioned myself with my back to the wall; the door was now to my right, and I had a good look at Kenny on the mattress.

I opened the parcel and retrieved the insides, opening one box to take a look and feeling satisfied.

How to get a straight man to bend down: what was the biggest hurdle?

Pride, embarrassment, control.

For pride and control, I had a simple solution.

For embarrassment, I ordered these here.

I took one of the seven silicone things out, varying from the thickness of one finger and increasing with the number to the thickness of a cock—my cock.

I would give him a week, each day a chance for him to use the ’stretching kit’ in private and increase the thickness and difficulty—enough time to think it through, to get comfortable without getting embarrassed, but at the same time with plenty of distraction this week so that he wouldn’t constantly think about it.

I put everything back to how it was, closing the boxes and taking the little booklet I had ordered as well, to place it by my side.

Gathering the paper and acidifying it, I stood up and looked at the bed.

Ah, the kid was still here.

I went to his side and crouched down to peel his ironclad grip from Kenny’s arm. It wasn’t easy without waking either of them, but I managed and silently carried the sleeping kid out.

He instinctively hugged my neck as I went up the steps.

But then I noticed that I didn’t know where his room was—I didn’t want to walk into Jejjey’s, nor my sister’s, or worse, Mrs. Howard’s room on this hopefully joyful day.

To place Ren inside the room beside ours... no, that was too close, and if he heard Kenny and me scruffle, he would probably cry again.

Walking down the corridor, I luckily spotted a name tag on his door, a paper with the crooked letters ’Ren’ and a few figures. I recognized the staff sergeant in military uniform, Mrs. Howard with her walking stick, Kenny with red eyes holding hands with little Ren, and some amorphous black shadow with blue eyes in the corner...

I chuckled; though the position was off, I found it very fitting.

I entered and was met with so many toys and plushies that I felt dizzy.

That couldn’t have been Kenny... Mrs. Howard or Ethan had really outed themselves.

I put the kid onto the small space that wasn’t covered with even more plushies on the big bed and noticed that Kitty was snoring in a corner, adding to the collection of animals.

When he was placed, I looked at him for two seconds before removing the locket around his neck-today was too important for the kid to unintentionally strangle himself in his sleep.

I placed it on Ren’s nightstand so that he would see it immediately, before covering him with a blanket.

I spotted a black pencil lying on a lowered children’s desk.

After closing his door, I faced the drawing and added volume to the black amorphous shadow until it reached the drawn Kenny.

Satisfied, I went back inside to put the pencil back, taking two pillows from the four around the lowered desk with me.

I went back to our room and locked the door from the inside with my fingerprint, placing the pillows on my and Kenny’s indented side, makeshift seats for a makeshift desk.

I sat back down in my position and clasped my hands together.

Though the darkness didn’t hinder me from seeing, I felt it engulf me as I waited, drowning in desire, parched by fear, and left wet with longing.

I thought back to the year without him, the endless despair, the emptiness, the bone-gnawing fury, and the longing—all to, again and again, make myself believe that what I would be doing soon was the right, the only way, the next step that couldn’t wait more than another week.

But then I worried again ; he had just vomited blood, had endless fights behind him, and yesterday I couldn’t even make sure myself that he had eaten enough, slept enough, relaxed enough.

Would this be too taxing for him?

Couldn’t I just be content?

I smiled.

I may have believed so in the past, telling myself to be alright with the way things were...

but deep inside me, I was never the content type.

Just that at that time , I never wanted something so much.

He stirred ; I noticed him grab for me, searching for me, and my grin deepened while my fear surged and I started to tremble slightly.

"Did you sleep well? How are you feeling?"

"Creeped out." He instantly became wide awake.

"Don’t be." I motioned to his seat, and he vigilantly sat down.

I talked, not registering the words I was speaking, as I placed the box in front of him, though I had nearly canceled the whole thing hearing that he started to get paranoid.

But if I stopped now, wouldn’t this make him even more paranoid?

Forced to act fast, I said the words I had spoken thousands of times inside my mind.

"Seven days from now." I reached over while looking straight into his eyes.

"Let’s do it."

The seconds stretched endlessly.

He only reacted after taking a long look and at least partly understanding what he had in front of him, even if the box was discreet and the seven silicone plugs were in a tasteful black.

"Do you want to die?"

No.

But if I have to, it has to be on top of you.