From CEO to Concubine-Chapter 215: Duckling

The crimson plum blossoms that splattered across the fresh snow like blood finally washed away with the melting of a long winter and the first pink petals of peach blossoms danced through the wooden windows to stray into the folds of Yan Zheyun’s parchment as he sat reading on the divan.

It was a lazy spring afternoon in Ai Yun Palace and Yan Zheyun had a military text in hand but his mind had strayed to other more whimsical thoughts.

The campus of his big city university had always dressed up for spring, the long boulevards stretching between the mixture of colonial architecture and modern glass buildings blushing pink like a bride on her wedding day as the peach trees overhead bloomed. Outside in the refreshing spring breeze, young couples strolled hand-in-hand as they commuted between classes. But for every happily-ever-after, there was a broken young heart and Yan Zheyun had shattered a fair share of his back in his time.

After one too many girls had fled from the entrance of their dormitory in tears, one of his closer friends, a young master whose mother had been a literature professor, had introduced him to Thomas Carew’s ’The Spring’, going so far as to whip out his fancy limited edition Mont Blanc fountain pen to write it down in Yan Zheyun’s stats notebook:

Only she doth carry June in her eyes, in her heart January. (1)

Yan Zheyun had a reputation for being cold. Polite, but cold. Back then, he’d seen no reason to give anyone false hope or lead anyone on when he had no intention of reciprocation. The fact that he hadn’t disclosed his sexuality back then made it even harder for him to explain his reasons for rejection and the best he could do was to keep it civil, respect them for their courage to confess, let them part ways with their dignity intact.

It hadn’t stopped a lot of them from crying though and he hadn’t understood why.

But now, thinking back on his turbulent emotions last spring, he could finally put himself in their shoes. As Thomas Carew had lamented, the weather had grown warmer but Liu Yao’s heart had been like ice and he’d once believed that it would have been impossible to thaw.

Now, the converse was true and Yan Zheyun felt like he resided in eternal spring.

He wasn’t sure why he was remembering this now. Perhaps it was because Liu Yao had kissed him with so much love in his eyes this morning that Yan Zheyun had temporarily forgotten that today was the day Liu Yao was going to drop a bomb on his morning court by officially granting Heir Zhenhai a duchy independent of his father and a ’political’ marriage that would tie his loyalties irrevocably to the throne.

Or perhaps it was just because he couldn’t help but wonder what Liu Yao would have been like as a simple university student. A politics or international relations major, perhaps, or even law. The university’s forums would have had as many photographs of him as there had been of Yan Zheyun, possibly even more. Perhaps they would have met as department representatives or during student council duties. Who would have confessed first? Who would have turned his head first for the other?

"Big Brother is very distracted today, is something on your mind?"

The demure, pleasing lilt of a young feminine voice brought him firmly back from his pleasant daydream.

Yan Zheyun glanced up at Yan Xi, who sat on an intricately carved mahogany stool, her posture immaculate as she embroidered a handkerchief with a finesse he could only admire. It was an elegant little piece, nothing like his disastrous first and only attempt—out of sight out of mind, he’d seen it once by coincidence in a little cabinet above their bed where Liu Yao kept the salves but to Liu Yao’s credit he hadn’t directly teased Yan Zheyun about it...yet. 𝘧𝓇ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝘣𝓃ℴ𝓋𝑒𝑙.𝑐𝘰𝑚

Now that she had engaged him in conversation, Yan Zheyun had no choice but to try and respond like a good big brother ought to. It was harder than he’d expected given that he had his interactions with Lixin and Liheng to refer to.

He knew that the crux of the problem lay in his distrust of her. The right prime minister might now be saddled with the troublesome task of housing orphans across the country but he had also done a number on Yan Zheyun. After he had embraced the fact that Yan Yun wasn’t just his host body but also one of his souls, he had keenly felt the hurt Ren Hao had dealt to the late Prime Minister Yan’s family. He had taken the remaining two descendants of a good man and pitted them against each other.

"Xi Er is talented," he said levelly, setting aside the military text and beckoning for her to show him her work. "Come, let Big Brother have a look." Yan Xi obliged with a courteous bob of her head, leaning forward eagerly as she handed over the handkerchief with a bright sparkle in her eyes, as though she was truly excited for her long-lost older brother to admire her craft and offer her doting praises.

And Yan Zheyun had been fully intending to do so except the words lodged themselves into his throat when he saw what she’d embroidered.

Two mandarin ducks with their necks entwined and...a smaller duckling following closely behind.

He lowered the handkerchief and looked at her calmly.

Yan Xi blinked, a flicker of uncertainty in her innocent eyes as she reached out to touch Yan Zheyun’s sleeve. "Does Big Brother not like it?"

Yan Zheyun watched her for a moment longer to see if he could see any cracks in her facade. Kudos to her, though, she was unreadable, which in and of itself made the warning bells go off in his head; Lixin at this age had been an open book.

"Xi Er chose a peculiar motif." His tone was as mild as the light wind teasing at the pendant dangling from her simple headdress but didn’t carry the same warmth from the gentle sun rays that streamed in from behind him.

Yan Xi’s doll-like lashes fluttered down. There was a note of dejection in her voice as she replied, "...Xi Er knows that mandarin ducks are meant to be depicted as a pair...but Xi Er couldn’t help but impose some of Xi Er’s unreasonable longing for a family..."

Impose. Unreasonable longing. These were all words that showed that she was placing herself in a very vulnerable position. It was all too easy to feel sympathetic for her, guilty even because a part of Yan Zheyun was the actual heir of Prime Minister Yan and as the de facto head of the Yan Family now that their father had passed away, it was his responsibility to provide her that shelter and give her a home to belong to.

But it wouldn’t, shouldn’t cost him Liu Yao.

"Xi Er is home now," he reassured, returning the handkerchief to her before patting her on the shoulder as she reached out to accept it. "Big Brother will ensure you’re well taken care of. Your brother-in-law is already going through a list of suitable young gentlemen in the capital to choose the best candidate for your hand in marriage." Ignoring the way she hesitatingly opened her mouth to speak, he motioned for Xiao De to change the pot of lukewarm tea. "Our Xi Er is already at the perfect age to be wedded, if we didn’t put in the effort, the capital would laugh at Big Brother and His Majesty for not knowing how to raise a young lady right."

There were lines he hoped he didn’t have to openly draw for her. As long as she didn’t voice the thoughts he suspected she was harbouring, he would be able to continue fulfilling his role as the caring, responsible older brother. He could protect her, back her up, ensure that she lived the rest of her life with all her needs provided for, with every want fulfilled within reason. After she’d moved into Chuxiu Palace, Yan Zheyun had given her a choice. She could have an education just like his dear Lixin had. She could move into their old estate with her status as the ex-prime minister’s precious daughter reinstated, her father’s name cleared and her brother’s name holding weight second only to that of the emperor’s.

But Yan Xi had insisted on staying in the inner palace.

Yan Zheyun had agreed. She was family. There was no denying that. But he wouldn’t let her forget that it was him that she was related to, not Liu Yao.

Speaking of Liu Yao’s relatives, though...

Perhaps the atmosphere in the main chamber was so stilted that it had become impossible to ignore but Liu An, who was also present in the antechamber, had paused in his attempt to complete the mathematics homework Hua Zhixuan had left for him to train his big curious eyes upon them. This was a sure sign that he had given up on education for the day and was just asking for tea at this point.

Yan Zheyun sighed inwardly. These last couple of months, Liu Yao had made it evident that he’d chosen his youngest brother as his heir apparent and Yan Zheyun had tried to live up to the task of ensuring the little prince was raised well and attended well to his studies. However, try as the tutors might, they were struggling to shape the young boy into a semblance of what one might expect from a crown prince. Now that he’d been monitoring Liu An’s progress for a while, Yan Zheyun had noticed a couple of things that sat at odds with him. This was only heightened after regaining his memories as Yun Ziyu.

He had never asked why Liu An’s mother had killed herself. But from what he could faintly recall of the little prince before and after the traumatic incident, Liu An had gone from being one of the brightest imperial descendants, full of promise, to a childish little prince who still clung to the only older brother who would spare him the time.

It wasn’t normal for a child of Liu An’s age to behave as childlike as he did, or require as much mollycoddling as he demanded. Having witnessed the preteens with Liu Yao as Yun Ziyu, Yan Zheyun knew what was expected of the princes and this green, juvenile aura that Liu An radiated was part of his charm but also...concerning. Certainly, given what Yan Zheyun knew of imperial education, Liu An was too lackadaisical in his attitude towards his studies and this was despite Liu Yao’s best efforts to be strict with him. Initially, Yan Zheyun had pinned it down to Liu An being spoiled; the youngest prince and the favoured younger brother of the emperor had the right to be an adorable brat and it felt like it was almost inevitable that they would have to deal with some willfulness in the process of slowly turning him into a crown prince capable of carrying the weight of the kingdom on his back.

Yan Zheyun had felt sorry to place this burden upon little Liu An but at the same time, he’d been born into the imperial family and inherited both the privileges and the burdens that came with it.

But now, he couldn’t help but doubt Liu Yao’s decision. Would Liu An really be able to live up to his imperial big brother’s hefty expectations? He was a good child, a child for whom Yan Zheyun’s heart was softest, but was he suited for the throne?

Just thinking about Liu An facing off against the morning court in the future...it felt too much like throwing a baby into a lion’s den.

As though he could sense Yan Zheyun’s worry, Liu An’s mouth curved up into an endearing beam and he hopped off the chair and scampered over to Yan Zheyun to give him a big hug.

"Pretty Big Brother," he said winsomely. "Can Liu An have some pastries now?"

Yan Zheyun stroked his hair and glanced back at Yan Xi...who was looking at Liu An with a gentle smile on her face that somehow made Yan Zheyun feel a little uneasy.

"Xi Er would like some pastries too?" he asked.

Yan Xi’s eyes crinkled. "Xi Er would love to."