From Goblin Slave To Giga-Daddy: A Goblin's Guide to Getting a Harem-Chapter 6: Girthy Green Monster!

The house wasn't anything grand—just a humble two-storey place that looked like it got wedgied by every mansion in the neighborhood.

Compared to the castles and luxury towers of Alex's fellow heroes, this was basically a shoebox with windows.

But that's exactly how Alexander wanted it.

No gold fountains. No throne made of swords. Just a simple home for him, his wife, and his dear ol' mother.

Of course, when the king tossed him a bonus goblin as part of the "thanks for saving the kingdom" gift basket, Alex sighed again, rolled with it, and did the only reasonable thing a reluctant slave owner could do—he built a tiny straw shack in the backyard like Rae was some oversized chicken.

"Even a level-zero goblin is still a goblin," Alex had said. "You never know when they'll start frothing at the mouth and eat your furniture."

So there it was. A mini hut of dried grass and pity, right behind the house like a glorified garden gnome shed.

Rae cracked his neck with a satisfying pop-pop, then grinned.

"The hero must be off frolicking in the murder woods again. That means..." He snickered like a B-grade villain, "...the house is mine."

He stepped out into the backyard like a king surveying his modest, sun-scorched domain. The sun blazed down like it wanted him roasted medium rare, and the ground sizzled underfoot.

But Rae? He just strutted forward, his goblin soles unfazed.

"Pfft. Grass hotter than a demon's butt crack? This ain't shit. These feet were made for pain, baby. If I was still human, I'd be out here screaming like I stepped on Lego bricks in hell."

He rubbed his hands again and cracked a mischievous grin.

"Time to start the milker-hunting mission."

By the way, our hero was dressed in only the bare essentials: a shabby, time-worn loincloth that looked like it had lost a bar fight with a raccoon.

Alexander had tried to civilize the guy, gave him tunics, pants, even boots once.

The old Raedon, the real goblin, apparently responded by spitting on them and wiping his ass with the sleeves.

Too tight, too warm, too "human," apparently.

For Rae, the loincloth had benefits. Easy to wear. Easy to air things out. And, more importantly, easy to lift and flash with zero warning—like he was doing right now.

He casually hiked the cloth up to adjust and—

"HOLY FUCK!!!"

He blinked. Then blinked again.

He froze mid-step. Hands holding the edge of his only dignity. Eyes wide as dinner plates. Staring.

Something green. Something girthy.

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The green monstrosity dangling between his legs looked like it needed its own license and insurance.

It hung there with a sleepy sway, thick and veiny like it had been drawn by a horny villain in a cursed hentai manga.

Around the shaft were these little crown-like ridges—thorns maybe? But soft, flexible.

And the head? A deep purplish color, like it had been kissed by a grape god. Below that, two cannonball-sized orbs swung low like they were plotting their own gravity.

"Holy... HOLLLYYY FUUUCK!!!"

Rae stood there like a man witnessing a divine revelation...

Not that it was particularly long—it wasn't standing at attention yet—but the girth. It looked like it could club someone to death in the wrong mood.

It wasn't even close to human. Nature had clearly gone rogue here.

Suddenly, the phrase 'goblins are built for breeding' didn't sound like a joke anymore. This was biology. Dark, twisted, overcompensating biology.

For the first time in his miserable, underachieving life, Rae was actually glad he was a goblin.

If he were still in his human form... well, let's just say he'd be stuck wielding his tragic little two-inch pencil like a toddler trying to joust with a toothpick.

"Cough~ Cough~"

He gagged just thinking about it.

Nope. No sir. He wasn't going back. He was a goblin now. This was fate. Destiny. Evolution. And okay, maybe he was a little biased now that he was packing some serious goblin artillery downstairs, but come on—can you really blame him?

He inhaled deeply, like a monk ready to ascend.

"This is who I am now," he whispered and closed his eyes. "Goblin Rae. Born again... And I suppose I should live it, eh..."

Determined, dignified , he strutted toward the kitchen—the only room he was technically allowed to enter when Alex wasn't home.

The old goblin used to follow that rule like it was the Ten Commandments.

But Rae was a certified rule-breaker. A sneak-thief. A professional nosey bastard with nothing to lose and everything to grope—err, gain.

He slipped open the grill to the kitchen with the stealth of a budget ninja, and a waft of culinary heaven hit his nostrils.

The aroma of roasted herbs, simmered meat, and buttery bread filled the air, and his goblin stomach growled like a boss battle intro.

Usually, Rae's job was to chop the vegetables, prep the meat, and basically be the unpaid sous-chef with zero appreciation. But not today, since he was injured.

"Seems like the bitchy mother-in-law helped here too..."

Rae sniffed the air like a hungry raccoon at a buffet, then shrugged. He wasn't here for mystery seasoning or kitchen politics. He had a damn quest to complete.

With the subtle grace of a gremlin on tiptoes, he creaked open the next door—the one that led from the prep area into the main house.

His heart thumped like a war drum, each beat threatening to blow his cover. Maybe it was a leftover instinct from the old Raedon, whispering "don't do it, don't do it" like a broken record.

But Rae didn't give a goblin's green ass.

He kept moving forward, passing into the dimly-lit kitchen. Then the dining room. The house was dead quiet. Unnaturally quiet.

Even the infamous "Gugu Gaga Monster" wasn't yowling like usual. No milk-powered tantrums. No nipple nomming. Just silence.

That could only mean one thing.

"All of them are sleeping..."

Rae rubbed his hands together, every bit the goblin he now was.

He slipped past the furniture like a fart in the wind and crept toward the stairs.

At the top, two doors stood on opposite sides of the hallway. One led to her—the healer, the walking fountain of milk and temptation. The other?

The mother-in-law.

Rae shuddered.

That woman had the energy of a pissed-off empress, with a mouth that could strip paint off a castle wall.

Sure, she had curves like ancient architecture—sturdy, sculpted, and possibly cursed—but she also radiated the kind of wrath that makes kingdoms fall.

"Later," he whispered, like a villain making long-term plans. "I'll conquer that boss fight later."

For now?

He turned toward the couple's door, his goblin heart hammering, his loincloth feeling dangerously optimistic.

"Time to complete some quests."

He snickered and crouched low, creeping toward the couple's room like a pervy little green ninja. The door wasn't locked—just gently pulled shut, like it was inviting trouble.

His fingers curled around the knob, heart hammering like a blacksmith in heat.

Click.

He cracked the door open just enough to peek inside—and instantly, his goblin dong began to salute like it just saw the queen.

"Jackpot..."

He whispered, reverently.

.

.

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[A/N: By the way, dear reader, 50 power stones and I'll drop an extra Chapter just for you. So if you want more chaos, drama, and smut, send in those power stones, show your support, and let's keep the madness going. 😉]