Ghosts Know What I Experienced-Chapter 33.1: Help, there’s a ghost!!!

Chapter 33 Part 1

Late into the night, the darkness painted over the shores of Poyang Lake.

With countless wild ghosts lacking arms and legs staring at you, even Xi Jia, who had seen plenty of ghosts since childhood, felt extremely creeped out.

The wild ghost who stole the magic weapon saw that everyone was looking at Xi Jia and took the opportunity to flee.

Measurement was in the middle of knocking his head against the surface of the lake. Master Ye was also busy checking whether or not his family’s wife got hurt. Upon seeing this, Hu Die lifted his finger, and a purple butterfly rapidly flew in front of the wild ghost. With a knock from a wing, the wild ghost was thrown back to the center of the lake with a bang, falling on top of the Wu Xiang Eight Trigrams Array.

The Wu Xiang Eight Trigrams Array was Wu Xiang Mountain’s exclusive magic formation. Ghosts flew above the large formation and didn’t touch the lake water; Humans could use the Golden Pointed Leaf to stand on the lake without sinking. Only Ye Jingzhi had just broken the large formation with a step, splashing the lake water and creating ripples.

Measurement was still doubting life at this time. The disciples of Tian Gong Pavilion swarmed around, one leg of each person stamping on the wild ghost until it was beyond recognition.

“Who said you could steal Eldest Senior Brother’s treasure!”

“You deserved it, you little ghost. Today, you aren’t allowed to reincarnate!”

“Junior Sister, this wild ghost apparently has 400 years of cultivation, we aren’t able to beat it……”

“I-i-i-isn’t there Hell Ki-……Fellow Daoist Ye here! This little ghost who doesn’t know how to tell what’s good from bad actually dares to disrupt the order of Poyang Ghost Market. Fellow Daoist Ye, you can deal with it as you see fit.”

The Celestial Masters of Tian Gong Pavilion were all stay-at-home crafting nerds. They focused on refining magic treasures, and everyone was very rich. However, of all of them, not one was good at ghost hunting. Among the younger generation of Tian Gong Pavilion’s disciples, Measurement was the one ranked the highest on the Modou Rankings. But, Measurement was only 29th place. If he were to be placed in Zi Wei Xing Hall or Longhu Mountain, he wouldn’t even rank in the top five.

The disciples of Tian Gong Pavilion impatiently watched Ye Jingzhi, just waiting for him to get revenge. However, they turned to look at Hell King Ye. With this glance though, they nearly ran out of air and fainted.

Ye Jingzhi nervously looked at Xi Jia. His fingertips flashed with golden light, using magic power to carefully examine the wound on Xi Jia’s neck. Checking it over and over, from beginning to end, not a single glance was given in Tian Gong Pavilion’s direction.

……Can’t you give a bit of face, ah!!!

Xi Jia said in a low voice, “Master Ye, it’s fine. It seems like the sword broke the moment it touched me. It doesn’t hurt.”

Ye Jingzhi still wasn’t at ease. Him checking it over himself was still not enough, he raised his head and looked around, “Fellow daoists of Shennong Valley, can you please help take a look at the condition of this injury?”

The disciples of Shennong Valley were watching the excitement to the side. Suddenly hearing Hell King Ye calling for them, they were so startled that they started trembling from head to toe. After a long time, a young lady with a gentle appearance walked forward and respectfully said, “F-fellow Daoist Ye, our eldest senior sister has a matter to attend to today and didn’t rush over from the Northeast. Can you let me……let me be the substitute and take a look at this fellow daoist?”

This female Celestial Master looked over Xi Jia for 10 minutes. At first, she still calm, but slowly, she frequently looked at Xi Jia with a strange gaze. In a moment, she examined Xi Jia’s neck. In another, she looked at Xi Jia’s face. After looking for a long time, she said softly, “This……this fellow daoist truly doesn’t have any injuries.”

When her voice fell, the whole audience became an uproar.

Ye Jingzhi sighed in relief. Xi Jia rubbed his neck in discomfort.

A mocking voice sounded, “Fellow Daoist Du Measurement, you’re not being honest. To bring a fake sword to sell at Poyang Ghost Market and you even dare to ask for 5,000 points? Fellow Daoist Du, I remember how the Poyang Ghost Market is regulated. For each fake, penalize by 10? If it’s 5,000 points multiplied by 10……Oh my my, it’s 50,000 points. Fellow Daoist Du, do you have that much?”

Everyone turned to look and saw the eldest disciple of Longhu Mountain, Hu Die, staring with all smiles at Measurement’s butt——because Measurement was still doubting life, kneeling, and knocking his head this whole time.

When the disciples of Longhu Mountain heard these words, they burst into laughter one after another.

Measurement pushed against his palm, jumping up from the lake. He met the gazes with a glare, “Fellow Daoist Hu, isn’t it Tian Gong Pavilion only giving your Longhu Mountain a 30% discount instead of a 60% discount? Why’re you making fun of me? Your Longhu Mountain is the poorest of the Four Great Sects. Who in the Xuanxue world doesn’t know? Who doesn’t know? To tell the truth, Fellow Daoist Hu, if you agree to wear women’s clothes and come to our Tian Gong Pavilion for a visit, I, Measurement, am willing to put forth 1,000 points!”

The Tian Gong Pavilion disciples had their eldest senior brother as support and became proud in a flash.

“Right! Our Tian Gong Pavilion is poor ah, so poor that we only have money left. If you run around in women’s clothes, I’ll give 50 points!”

“I’ll put in 100!”

“Damn it, laozi didn’t buy any stuff this year. Laozi will take out 500 points! Hu Die, are you coming or not?!”

“Fuck! Measurement, you’re a bully!” Hu Die’s pretty woman-like face changed between green and white. In anger, he flipped his palm and took out three purple butterflies, sending them over towards Measurement with a slap.

Hu Die was ranked 3rd on the Modou Rankings. If he wanted to slap the 29th place Measurement to death, it would be as easy as a flip of a hand.

Measurement knew better than to fight when the odds were against him. After he scrammed to Xi Jia’s side and shrinking his head behind Ye Jingzhi, he said with a muffled voice, “Fellow Daoist Ye, Fellow Daoist Ye! Hu Die actually dares to hit someone at the Poyang Ghost Market, he’s not giving you face! Quickly beat him to death! If there’s any blame, I’ll carry it for you!”

Hu Die madly cursed, “Bullshit! What blame can you carry? Measurement, if you have the ability, come out and fight with laozi!”

Measurement popped his head out, “Who wants to fight with you, I can’t beat you. If you have the ability, compare points with me. Do you have more points in your Modou account than my change?” After he finished talking, he retracted his head like a good-for-nothing.

Hu Die, “Obviously, it’s you who is selling a fake sword, I didn’t say it wrong. Poyang Ghost Market has a rule, 10 times the fake’s price. Ask Hell King Ye yourself if this is the rule!”

Measurement, “Nonsense, you’re a fake sword, I’m clearly a real sword!”

Hu Die, “Right, you’re real cheap!”¹

Measurement, “You-you-you-you-you……Only women and small-minded men are hard to deal with, I’m not going to argue with you.”²

Hu Die’s eyes burned with rage. Taking the three butterflies with him, he walked in Measurement’s direction. He said with an angry smile, “If your sword isn’t fake, then why did it break? It’s clearly a cheap counterfeit, it’s a smuggled product!”

“Mine really is a real sword!”

“How could a real sword break?”

“Right, how could it just break?” After he said this, Measurement’s body trembled. He looked like a turtle, his head slowly extended out from behind Ye Jingzhi. He opened his mouth, staring blankly at Xi Jia. After looking for a long time, “This fellow daoist, may I ask, why did my sword break?”

Xi Jia, “……”

Once these words were said, the gazes of everyone present focused on Xi Jia again. Before, because that wild ghost wanted to flee and Hu Die and Measurement were also bickering, everyone’s attention was attracted to them. Right now, the situation had returned to the point of origin——

If Measurement’s high-quality ghost sword wasn’t fake, how could it break?

Tian Gong Pavilion had been established for hundreds of years. They were the Xuanxue world’s richest sect, second to none. As the eldest senior brother of Tian Gong Pavilion, Measurement’s character was gentle and had a wide range of friends. It’s unnecessary for him to do something like selling fake goods and destroying his own reputation.

In order to verify that this sword wasn’t fake, Measurement asked Ye Jingzhi to fish out the other half of the sword that had fallen into Poyang Lake. Ye Jingzhi turned his finger, and the broken half of the black sword appeared in his hand.

Measurement carefully took the blade back. And then, he snatched back his sword from the wild ghost’s hands, and firmly stepped on the wild ghost’s face in passing.

Xi Jia looked at Measurement in doubt. He held the broken blade in one and the hilt in the other. He totally couldn’t think of how Measurement could repair this broken sword.

“It’s not possible to use 502-glue to stick the sword back together, right……?” Xi Jia muttered without thinking.³

In the next moment, Measurement took out a bottle of 502-glue from his Qiankun bag, “Fellow daoists, please watch. I’ll first glue the sword back together. At the moment, it has been broken for less than 10 minutes. Once glued back together, it can still maintain 30% of its effect.”

Xi Jia, “……” You’re really going to glue it, ah!!!

Measurement said with difficulty, “However, it can only temporarily maintain 30% of its effect. After today, this sword is ruined.”

Measurement applied the 502-glue onto the broken edge. He half-heartedly pressed the blade and hilt together. It was actually glued together like so. Holding onto the sword that looked unreliable, Measurement swung a couple times in the air. Lastly, he turned to look at the wild ghost, who had been beaten by everyone to the point that it didn’t resemble a ghost anymore, and said, “I’ll try it on you. Little ghost, watch the sword!”

The sharp point of the black sword suddenly stabbed into the wild ghost’s chest. The wild ghost howled in pain, and yin energy poured out from the chest in large quantities. Not long after, the wild ghost was paralyzed and fell down onto the lake’s surface. The originally rich yin energy had decreased by a lot. It used to have 400 years of cultivation, and with this stab, at least 50 years of cultivation was gone.

The surrounding Celestial Masters and ghosts cried out in surprise one after another after seeing this scene. By the time they’re done, they uniformly looked at Xi Jia.

Stare——

So, why aren’t you dead?

Xi Jia, “……”

This feeling was really familiar. Xi Jia remembered that when he and Ye Jingzhi encountered Hu Die last month, he threw Old Ghost back into the oil cauldron, and Hu Die asked him with a face full of horror, “Why are you still not dead?”

What kind of group of people are you Xuanxue world people? Everyday, expecting others to die!!!

Measurement proved himself innocent and became exuberant in a flash. His sword had already become scrap. He originally thought it could hold for a few more days. Who knew that after it had stabbed into the wild ghost’s body, the blade broke again. Evidently, the 502-glue didn’t firmly stick.

Holding onto the broken halves of the sword, Measurement walked to Xi Jia with a complex expression. He looked up and down several times. In the end, he hardened his heart and closed his eyes, “This……this fellow daoist, my sword is made from 200 year old Darksteel, Deep-Sea Chilling Ice from 1,500 km deep, plus four flying corpses with 500 years of cultivation, and it is sharpened by pure yin energy. The original price is 5,000 points, production cost is 2,000, and I won’t give you my labor cost. What……do you think?”

Xi Jia, “……”

There was an ancient saying, “I didn’t kill Bo Ren, but Bo Ren died because of me.” Right now, it was, “I didn’t break this sword, but the sword broke because of me.”

Xi Jia felt very wronged, more wronged than Dou É. It was definitely that wild ghost holding the sword against his neck and even wanted to chop him to death, why should he compensate for it……

Seeing Xi Jia’s speechless expression, Measurement rolled his eyes. He walked closer to him and said his true intention, “Fellow Daoist, I actually know that this matter is unrelated to you. I, Measurement, am not that kind of person who cannot distinguish from right and wrong. It’s only that the sword is truly precious, and it wasn’t that easy for me to make either. So, if you tell me the reason why you can come out unscathed, we’ll write it off, how about it?”

Xi Jia suddenly felt that there’s something fishy, “You want me to tell you the reason?”

Measurement nodded hard.

Xi Jia hesitated for a moment. He didn’t know whether or not he should say it.

Seeing him hesitate, Measurement quickly moved closer again, and urgently said, “Fellow daoist, I’ll give you 100 points, tell me.”

Xi Jia was stunned, “You’re even giving me points?”

Measurement clenched his teeth, “How about this, 500 points! You only tell me and don’t tell anyone else. I’ll give you 500 points.”

Xi Jia, “……” After a short moment, Xi Jia expressionlessly asked, “Master Du, dare I ask if you want to take my information……and submit it to ‘Ghosts Know?’”

Measurement’s eyes bulged, a face full of a “how do you know?” expression.

Xi Jia, “……”

Not one of you people of the Xuanxue world are reliable!!!

……Not right, Master Ye is an exception.

Translator’s Addition:

The Xuanxue world: So why aren’t you dead?

C+: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Translator’s Notes:

¹ Joke sorta lost in translation. Real sword 真剑 and real cheap/low 真贱 sounds exactly the same in Chinese. ↵

² “Only women and small-minded men are hard to deal with.” – A quote from Confucius. ↵

³ 502-glue: aka Super Glue, Krazy-Glue, etc. ↵