Glass Hearts [BL]-Chapter 254: Don’t Disappear Again [June’s POV]

I opened the door slowly.

Ren was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the wall, like he’d been lost in thought.

When he heard me, he stood up instantly, and froze.

His eyes flicked to my damp hair, then back to my face.

It was obvious he was trying not to let his gaze drop lower.

His eyes dropped to the hem of his shirt on me, and he looked away quickly, clearing his throat.

Ian would’ve kept staring.

Ren controlled himself.

That difference alone made my throat close.

"Uh...your hair is dripping," he said, handing me a smaller towel.

I started drying my hair, but my hands were shaking.

He noticed. "Let me."

My breath caught.

"Ren, I can...."

"I know."

He smiled softly. "Let me anyway."

He lifted the towel, hesitating, still waiting for permission.

I nodded.

And without making it weird, he stepped behind me and began gently towel-drying my hair himself.

His fingers brushed my neck.

"Ren..." I whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I’m sorry for all this." I whispered.

"Don’t apologize," he said immediately. "You’re not at fault. You shouldn’t apologize to me."

I took a shaky breath. "I feel stupid."

"You’re not."

"I trusted him."

Ren’s voice softened even more.

"So trust someone better."

I looked up.

His eyes were warm.

And so heartbreakingly sincere.

He seemed to feel it too, because he froze, with the towel still in his hands, looking at me like I was something delicate.

"June..." he whispered.

His voice cracked on my name.

Was he about to say something?

Did I want him to?

He cleared his throat, pulling back just a little, like he was fighting himself.

"Just... don’t disappear again," he said instead.

He stood slowly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I’ll stay in the other room so you can rest. If you need anything....literally anything, just call me."

He started to walk away.

And I didn’t know what took over me.

Fear of being alone?

The comfort he gave me?

"Ren?"

He stopped at the door, and turned.

"Yeah?"

My voice came out small.

"Please... don’t go too far."

His eyes softened immediately.

"Okay, Jellybean," he whispered.

—

After Ren stepped out of the room, I sat there with my phone in my hands.

I knew I had to call Ash. He always worry too much.

My hands trembled as I hit call. He picked up instantly.

"Hello?"

"Ash..." my voice cracked instantly. "I’m so sorry. I should’ve called you. I wasn’t thinking. I was going through something personal and I..I know that doesn’t excuse anything. But... did my dad call you?"

His inhale was sharp.

Then he exploded.

"June, are you out of your mind?"

My throat tightened.

"...Ash?"

"’Something personal’?" He repeated bitterly. "Really? June, your dad was worried. You just disappeared. You didn’t tell anyone where you were. And now you’re staying over at Ren’s? The same Ren you swore wasn’t going to be some love triangle situation? The same Ren you said you were ’so over’?"

I felt the back of my eyes sting.

"Ash, chill, please. I told you...I haven’t been okay. And..it’s not what you think."

"No, you never listen," he snapped. "You never listen to me, to your dad, to anyone. I lied to your dad. I told him you were staying at my place because I didn’t want him panicking."

"Ash, I...."

"You know what, June? Do whatever you want. Since that’s what you always do. I’m judging you so hard right now. Enjoy your intimate night with Ren. Maybe write a song about it. Goodnight."

"Ash..." my voice shook. "Please..just hear me out..."

My breath hitched.

"Ash..."

And he hung up.

Just hung up.

I stared at the screen, as tears stung my eyes.

"Rude much?" I laughed bitterly, wiping my face with my sleeve.

My chest hurt. Everything started to hurt.

What the hell is wrong with Ash?

Why did he sound more pissed about my life than worried about me?

Why didn’t he even give me ten seconds to explain?

Why did it feel like I had disappointed him more than anyone else?

I sank back onto the bed, curling into myself as the ache in my head throbbed again.

Why does everyone get to hurt me today?

I pressed a hand to my forehead, as I sniffed.

A soft knock echoed against the door.

I didn’t even lift my head.

"...Come in," I groaned into the pillow.

The door creaked open quietly.

And I felt the mattress dip beside me.

Ren came back in carrying the clean duvet.

He tossed the dirty sheets aside and spread the fresh duvet over my mattress, smoothing it out with his palm. He even lifted the corner closest to me so it wouldn’t brush my leg.

"Okay," he finally said. "All clean."

God.

Who behaves like this?

Who treats people this gently?

I swallowed hard. "Ren... thank you."

He smiled without looking at me. Then he sat on the bed beside me.

I immediately yanked the pillow over my exposed thigh.

I let out a shaky laugh, dropping my head onto my knees. "Ash yelled at me today. First time ever."

Ren’s brow furrowed slightly. "Really? What happened?"

"He... he was so mad. I mean, he sounded mad. I’ve never heard him like that before." My voice cracked a little. "It scared me."

He reached over and brushed a strand of hair from my face. "Probably because he cares. That’s what people do when they’re scared of losing someone."

I swallowed hard. "Yeah... maybe."

Silence stretched between us, and I found myself leaning a little closer without realizing.

"And Ian?" Ren asked after a moment.

I groaned. "Don’t even start. Honestly, is it too late to transfer schools or change my identity?"

Ren chuckled softly. "End of the semester, Jellybean. Exams start next week. You’d be stuck with him either way."

I hid my face with my hands. "We’re not even officially dating, Ren. Ian and I. He asked twice, I said I’d think about it. Even told him he could be a ’probation boyfriend.’"

Ren’s eyes widened a little. "Wait... you guys weren’t actually dating?"

I shrugged. "Nope."

He turned his whole body toward me.

"But... why?" he asked quietly. "Were you scared? Or... maybe unsure because your heart was somewhere else?"

He placed his hand lightly over mine.

My heart.

My stupid, traitorous, idiotic heart started pounding so loudly I could hear it in my ears.

Oh God.

What if he’s right?

What if that’s why I never fully said yes to Ian?

I always wanted it to be Ren.

Two years of liking Ren in the shadows.

Freshman year when he walked into music class like sunlight.

When he played piano and made my stomach drop.

When I threw jellybeans on his shoes and he laughed.

When...

"Jellybean. June."

He snapped his fingers gently in front of my face. "You zoned out. Are you okay?"

I blinked, realizing I’d been staring at him. Staring too long like an idiot.

He was still holding my hand.

And I...

I don’t know what broke in me.

Maybe it was fear, or hunger, or the fact that he was inches from my lips, and I can feel his warm breath on my skin.

And then... I leaned forward.

"Do you... want to...?" My voice barely made it out. "Make out?"

Silence.

Oh no.

NO.

No no no.

Did I just say that?

Did those words leave my mouth?

What if he says no?

What if he thinks I’m desperate?

What if he thinks I’m using him to get over Ian?

What if...

"I mean," Ren blinked, cut off guard. His whole face turned red, "maybe... sure. But Ian...I mean...."

He swallowed. "I’d love to."

He scratched the back of his head, flushing all the way down his neck.

Then, he leaned closer slowly, giving me time to pull away.