Harem Quest: Love or Escape?-Chapter 13: I Hate All of This

Hyo-Rin's loyal henchman had safely delivered Kai and Ai home. Or, well, close enough.

"Just drop me off a few houses early," Kai had said coolly, masking the true reason — he didn't want Hyo-Rin knowing where he lived. And definitely not that he was cohabiting with a literal goddess. That's the kind of drama he didn't have the energy for.

As the car drove away, Kai bent down, hoisted the passed-out Ai onto his back, and began trudging toward his house like some reluctant anime protagonist.

"Ugh, damn goddess... You're nothing but trouble! And why are you so heavy?!" he grumbled, huffing with every step.

Of course, the problem wasn't Ai's weight. The problem was Kai's complete lack of muscle mass. His noodle arms were about as strong as overcooked spaghetti.

While Kai whined his way home, something... distracting caught his eye.

Ai's top had slightly slipped, revealing a peek of her soft pink undergarments. Cute. Adorably cute. Devastatingly cute. And from this angle? Let's just say gravity was not on Kai's side.

Sniff sniff. She even smelled good — like sweet peaches mixed with springtime and witchcraft.

Kai's thoughts spiraled."What the heck?! Why does this damn goddess smell so good?!"

His internal struggle escalated as one of his hands almost betrayed him. It hovered dangerously close to Ai's heavenly peaks, like a moth to an off-limits flame.

And then... things stirred. Down there.

"NOPE!" Kai screeched internally. His eyes widened in horror. "What am I doing?! With her? This stupid goddess of love?! I must've lost my damn mind!"

He shook his head violently and muttered, "Calm down, Anaconda. This isn't your scene."(Yes, he was talking to it. Yes, he slapped it. Yes, it went back to sleep.)

And so Kai went home — his pride bruised, his groin sore, his ego crushed.

I am not cool..

...

Once home, Kai gently plopped Ai onto the sofa like a sack of very holy potatoes. Then he bee-lined for the kitchen...

...and found the fridge utterly empty.

Right. He forgot to go grocery shopping. Again.

Cue panic. Because waking up a hungry goddess with no food was a certified death sentence.

So off he went to the nearest mini-mart.

"All this chaos just because she wanted to go to this mini-mart? It's literally 100 meters from my house!" he muttered, buying enough food to feed a small kingdom.

Returning home, he found Ai sprawled on the couch like a starved kitten, mumbling in her sleep about hamburgers. Her stomach growled like a tiny demon.

Kai sighed. "Fine. Hamburger steak it is."

He rolled up his sleeves, put on a pink apron (don't ask), and went full MasterChef. Patties were formed. Potatoes chopped. Veggies sizzled. The kitchen turned into a five-star battlefield.

Soon, the aroma of sizzling steak and rich sauce filled the room.

Kai leaned over Ai, whispering with mischief, "Let's see if this wakes this Sleeping Gorilla..."

Sniff sniff.Her eyes shot open. She bolted upright like a vampire sniffing blood and dove face-first into the food like a caveman discovering fire.

Unfortunately, she forgot one critical detail: the food was still scorching hot.

"HOT! HOT HOT HOT!!" she screeched, waving her hands like a malfunctioning robot.

Kai doubled over laughing and handed her a glass of water. "Easy there, dummy. Use the fork and knife like a civilized goddess. You're not some cave deity, are you?"

"Hah?! Of course I know how to use these!" Ai barked back confidently — while holding the knife upside-down and poking the steak with the fork like it owed her money.

Kai facepalmed. "Okay, okay... Let me show you."

He cut the steak properly, blew on it to cool it down, and gently offered her a bite.

Ai hesitated. Her cheeks flushed. Her heart did a weird fluttery thing she couldn't explain.

And then—she opened her mouth, letting him feed her like some royal cat.

Was it the steak? The kindness? The moment? Whatever it was, Ai suddenly felt... warm. Happy.

What is this feeling? she wondered.

Kai blinked in shock, frozen mid-air with a fork in his hand.Wait... did he just feed that ridiculous goddess like she was some kind of spoiled house cat?

"This—THIS is how you eat properly, you clueless idiot!" he snapped, cheeks burning red.

Ai pouted, cheeks equally pink. "I-I get it! I can eat by myself now... stupid."

And with that, the two devoured their hamburger steaks like it was a gourmet meal sent by the gods.

Ai nibbled happily, not because the steak was good (though it was), but because Kai made it. For her. With actual effort.

"This stupid human... Maybe next time I'll ask him to cook something even better, fufu~" she thought, a mischievous grin spreading on her face.

After the meal, Kai decided it was time to confront the pink pajama-wearing elephant in the room.

"Hey, you freeloading budget love goddess—be honest with me. Why were you even there earlier? You expect me to believe you just 'got lost' on the way to the mini-mart 100 meters away? Don't lie—you were stalking me, weren't you?"

Ai's eyes widened in panic. Then she sighed in defeat.

"Fine! I was stalking you! I saw that crazy Hyo-Rin woman abduct you, so I followed. Happy now?!"

Kai gasped dramatically, biting his finger like some old drama heroine. "So it's true... Don't tell me... you were worried about me?"

"WH-WHAT?! ARE YOU DELUSIONAL?!" Ai screamed, her face turning as red as a tomato. "I was just observing your relationship with Hyo-Rin. That's all! And it seems to be going well—her affection level has definitely increased."

Kai turned beet red. "Ughh how did you know that?!"

Ai puffed out her chest proudly. "Of course because I am a great goddess of love!"

"Fufufu...As expected from someone who reads my masterpiece harem novel! Admit it—you secretly want a harem with the heroines, don't you? Only someone with harem protagonist energy could accidentally seduce girls this effectively!"

"You're insane! I died—over and over—thanks to that psycho narcissist Hyo-Rin!" Kai yelled, tears welling up in his eyes. "All because of her boobs and hips size! SHE'S A LUNATIC IN LIPSTICK!"

Ai giggled awkwardly. "Ahh... now I understand why your [Return to Checkpoint] skill kept activating tonight. Hehehe..."

Kai growled and threw the spy outfit Hyo-Rin gave him into the trash. "I'm done. No more spying. No more seduction. No more Hyo-Rin. I'm just a normal guy trying to survive this anime disaster of a life!"

With that, Kai stormed into his room, collapsed onto the bed, and passed out without even showering.

Ai stood at the door, arms crossed, mumbling, "Tch... I told him this was my room. But whatever... maybe he forgot because he was so tired."

She smiled faintly. "Fine. I'll let him stay here tonight. He did cook for me, after all."

Changing into her pajamas—an old, slightly small pair that once belonged to Kai's mom—Ai tiptoed into the bed, tucked the blanket around them both, and looked at Kai's sleeping face.

"He even looks stupid when he's asleep... hehe..."

And then, Ai drifted off to sleep.

...

The Next Morning...

Kai groaned, stretching like a dying cat. His body was sore. His mind foggy. And worst of all... he hadn't changed his underwear.

As he rubbed his eyes, he noticed something... weird.

"This is my room... Wait a sec. Didn't I sleep in the guest room? This bed was claimed by that gorilla goddess..."

Then he noticed the big, blanket-covered bump next to him.

Heartbeat accelerating, Kai slowly peeled the blanket back...

Visit frёewebnoѵel.ƈo๓ for the b𝘦st novel reading experience.

...and was greeted by the sleeping figure of Ai. Wearing a too-tight pajama top. One of the buttons had surrendered to physics, and her well-endowed chest was barely contained.

BOOM. Instant nosebleed.

Kai's brain shut down. His libido did not.

"Oh no... she looks so soft... must... not... TOUCH—"

He clenched his fists, trembling. His inner monologue screamed:"NO WAY. NO WAY I'M GETTING TURNED ON BY THIS DAMN GODDESS—"

Desperate, Kai jabbed his fingers into his own eyes.

"GAH!!!"Pain. Beautiful, purifying pain.

Eyes watering, vision blurry, he opened them again... only to meet Ai's murderous glare.

Uh oh.

"You... PERVERTED. SCUMBAG. LOSER."Ai was fuming, covering her chest while radiating enough killing intent to nuke a city.

"I let you sleep peacefully 'cause you looked exhausted... and THIS is how you repay me?! You broke my pajama buttons and tried to grope me, you horny freak!!"

"N-NO! It was the pajama! Your boobs are just too bi—"

BAM!

Ai unleashed her [GODDESS DROPKICK] sent Kai flying out the door like a ragdoll. He crashed into the hallway wall with a loud THUD.

Thus, the morning began with shouting, bruises, and hormonal chaos.

Just another day in the Kai-Ai household.

As they walked to school — Kai limping, Ai fuming — both were caught in their own stormAya of thoughts and feelings they didn't quite understand

.....

Kai was walking to school with Aya.

But something felt... different. Aya, who usually clung to Kai like a stubborn sticker on a lunchbox, was oddly distant today. No clingy arm-hugs, no bubbly "good morning," just quiet steps and a forced smile.

"Uh, hey... are you okay?" Kai asked, raising a brow.

Aya shook her head, her smile tight. "I'm fine. Really."

Kai scratched his head, totally unconvinced. "If you say so..."

Then she asked, "Where were you yesterday after school? I couldn't find you. I wanted to walk home together..."

"Ah—uh—that—well," Kai stammered, nervous sweat forming. "Something came up. Urgent stuff."

There was no way he could say, Oh, you know... I got kidnapped by a psychotic narcissist idol who made me her spy sidekick in some back-alley mission to fight a criminal organization targeting pop stars.

Aya nodded, though her eyes showed a flicker of doubt. Still, she kept smiling. She didn't want Kai to worry about her.

When they reached the classroom, Kai immediately spotted the walking disaster he wanted to avoid most:

Hyo-Rin.

Already seated with her usual picture-perfect elegance, she flipped her hair like a K-drama actress and beamed her sweet, deadly smile.

"Good mooorning, Bakachin~" she chimed, voice sugary but dripping with danger.

Kai tried the classic ninja-invisibility-by-ignoring technique. But that only made her mad. She raised her hand and pretended to shoot him with finger-guns, a smile still on her face but now paired with murder in her eyes.

"Yesterday was so fun, right, Bakachin~? Let's go out again this afternoon. Don't forget~"

Kai trembled. He could already picture getting shot again—maybe with actual bullets this time. "Ugh... f-fine."

Aya watched the interaction quietly. So... Kai was with Hyo-Rin yesterday? And again today?

Her heart tightened. Just what is going on? Why are they so close? What are they even doing together...?

From the corner of the classroom, Ai smirked like a scheming demon.

"Hehehe~ this is it... the love triangle has begun~"

But the moment Ai met eyes with Hyo-Rin, the smirk froze. Hyo-Rin glared back like a queen staring down a peasant, then mouthed something silently:

"Bakachin is my number one fan. He's mine."

Ai blinked. "What? Did she say... 'Bakso Chicken'?"

Confused, Ai shrugged it off.

The final bell rang.

And like a predator grabbing her prey, Hyo-Rin snatched Kai's hand and dragged him out of class to the back of the school.

Everyone stared.

Even Ganta, Kai's loyal weeb bro, gasped like he had just seen a plot twist in an anime filler arc.

"NO WAY. Bakachin and Hyo-Rin?! TOGETHER?!"

Aya watched with a pout, clearly upset. She wanted to follow... but her feet wouldn't move. Meanwhile, Haruto—the main character of Ai's supposed harem novel—just walked home like a forgotten background extra.

Ai, observing from afar, grinned as if everything was going according to plan.

Behind the school, Kai yanked his hand free, flustered.

"Hey! What was that about?! Why did you drag me here?!"

Hyo-Rin tilted her head innocently. "You're my spy assistant, remember? Or did you hit your head again?"

She smiled sweetly again... and mimed another trigger pull straight at his forehead.

Kai nearly screamed. "Okay okay, I remember! Geez! So... uh... what's the mission today?"

Her eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Based on the info we got from the YBD members yesterday, they're planning something big tonight—a kidnapping. And the target? An idol from my group... The Twinkles."

Kai's jaw dropped.

"So, Bakachin... I have a mission for you." She leaned in, voice sultry and dangerous. "Follow my orders, no complaints, okay?"

She whispered the entire plan into Kai's ear. His face went pale.

"No. Nope. No way. I'm out. I'm not doing that!" Kai shook his head furiously.

Hyo-Rin's eyes narrowed. "You will obey me..."

She turned to the shadows. "Kitty—catch him."

Before Kai could react, a figure dropped from the trees like a ninja catgirl from hell and landed a clean punch to his gut.

"GAH—NOT AGAAAAAAIN—"

Darkness swallowed him as he passed out cold.

Hyo-Rin grinned. "Good job, Kitty. Let's roll."

And just like that, Kai was thrown into another ridiculous spy mission—unconscious, unwilling, and still technically not getting paid.

When Kai woke up, he found himself inside a moving car. He touched himself and was shocked by what he was wearing.

"WHAT THE HELL?! I'M A CROSSDRESSING IDOL?!"Kai was fully dressed up like an idol, wearing the signature costume of The Twinkles.

"Ah, you're finally awake, Bakachin... or should I call you Bachika-chan now?" Hyo-Rin said with a cheerful smile.

This was a nightmare for Kai.

...

..