Harem Streamer System: Every Crime I Broadcast Wins Me a Superheroine-Chapter 150: Fight at the Museum II

Volkner Interstellar Museum…

Marmot Man’s nose twitched.

It was an itch. A deep, annoying itch.

He grumbled, scrunching up his pudgy face as his fingers reached to scratch, but something didn’t feel right. A weird tingling crept up his spine.

His beady little eyes darted around as he scanned the chaotic battlefield. The museum was in shambles—pillars cracked, debris everywhere, and Shadow was still trading blows (and insults) with Mr. Invincible. But something else… something strange caught his attention.

He turned.

Judy stood in front of the display case, where the alien cube was securely locked behind reinforced glass.

Marmot Man squinted.

Then squeezed his face.

"Hrmm…"

He rubbed his nose aggressively, still trying to shake off the nagging sensation.

Something was off.

His gaze sharpened.

A faint shimmer, a subtle distortion rippled across the display case.

"Huh?"

His round face scrunched up.

"That’s weird…"

Curiosity overtook him. His thick legs shuffled forward, his pace picking up. The closer he got, the stronger the feeling became. His gut was telling him something was right there.

And he wasn’t wrong.

Just inches away, Invisible Woman loomed behind Judy.

A dagger raised high and fiercely ready to pierce straight through her back.

A wicked, unseen grin curled on her lips as her bloodthirsty eyes locked onto Judy’s oblivious figure.

No one could see her.

No one but Marmot Man──who was now tripping.

BAM!

The weight of 600 pounds of bad decisions came crashing down.

Right on top of her.

Invisible Woman didn’t even get to scream.

Her dagger stopped mid-air as her entire face was slammed into the ground—pinned beneath two hairy, sweaty, disgustingly moist ass cheeks.

A thick, wet SPLORT sound echoed through the museum.

Then—

The screaming. Her screaming.

Marmot Man’s swampy, sweat-soaked rear-end smothered her skull──as though she was drowning.

Maybe that was the case, considering there wasn’t a single trace of oxygen around. All she could breathe in was the overpowering stench of sweat, dirt, and tangled hair pressing against her face. It was so disgusting that she instinctively kicked her legs in protest, but it was completely useless.

The chat went nuclear.

[🔥🔥🔥 NOOOOOOOO LMFAOOOOO]

[DEAR GOD, WHY???]

└ [💀💀💀 SHE GOT THE RAW UNFILTERED GREASE TREATMENT.]

[THIS IS LITERALLY A WAR CRIME.]

└ [Nah, this is worse than death. She about to retire from villainy after this.]

[Can you imagine dying like this???]

└ [Bro, she ain’t dead, but she wishes she was.]

[EVERYONE DREAMS OF GETTING SAT ON BY A WOMAN, NOT LIKE THIS THO 😭😭😭]

└ [Imagine getting your skull pancaked by 600 lbs of McDonald’s & bad life choices.]

└ [Ngl, I wouldn’t mind if a sweaty plus-sized model sat on my damn face like that. 🤷‍♂️]

[INVISIBLE WOMAN TURNED VISIBLE JUST TO LET US SEE HER PAIN.]

└ [💀💀💀💀💀💀]

･･･

Judy turned at the noise, eyes wide in confusion.

"Marmot Man?"

Her voice was hesitant.

"What… what is he doing?"

Still sitting on Invisible Woman, Marmot Man looked just as confused.

"Huh?"

He blinked, still picking his nose.

"Uhh… I, uh… I think I was tryna save you?"

Judy tilted her head. "Save me?"

She glanced around, then immediately noticed something shiny on the ground—a dagger.

"Wait… that wasn’t there before?"

She bent down, reaching for it, but then paused.

Something else caught her attention.

Marmot Man was sitting on something.

Or… someone?

"Uh… what’s that?"

Marmot Man, still mid-booger-picking, stopped.

He looked at her. Then at the floor. Then back at her.

"… What’s what?"

Judy tapped his arm. "Can you stand up for a second?"

Marmot Man attempted to push himself up──then gave up immediately.

"… That might be a little too difficult."

He exhaled deeply, before rolling to the side like a melting stick of butter as his arms flopped out dramatically.

THUMP.

Flat on the ground. Belly heaving.

"Phew…"

He wiped his forehead, drenched in sweat.

"That took a lot outta me. I’m… I’m real tired."

Judy looked down—and gasped.

A completely ruined Invisible Woman lay on the floor.

Helmet shattered.

Trails of vomit leaking from the cracks.

Drenched in Marmot Man’s grease and bodily fluids.

Her whole face had turned green.

The second she could finally see light instead of cheeks, she groaned, coughing violently.

"… I… I give up… I give up, damn it…"

Her eyes rolled back, and she passed out.

The chat lost its mind.

[HE SAT ON HER TILL SHE TAPPPED OUT. I CAN’T. I JUST CAN’T WITH THIS GUY 😭😭🙏]

[NAH SHE GOT FRIGGIN’ SUFFOCATED BY BUTT SWEAT LMFAOOOOO.]

└ [This was definitely NOT the way she thought she was gonna die today.]

[BRO THIS A FATALITY.]

└ [DIDN’T EVEN NEED A FINISHER, HE JUST EXISTED.]

[HE TURNED HER INVISIBLE AND THEN MADE HER WISH SHE NEVER REAPPEARED.]

└ [Marmot Man’s cheeks: NEW META.]

[If my face ever got planted like that, I’d change my name & leave the country.]

Still in shock, Judy turned back to Marmot Man.

"Marmot Man!!"

His head snapped up. "I-, I didn’t do anything, I swear!"

To his shock, Judy rushed forward and hugged him.

"You saved me!!"

Marmot Man froze.

The chat immediately switched gears.

[🔥🔥🔥 YO WTF HE GOT A JUDY HUG??]

[MY FAT ASS COULD NEVER.]

└ [Dude, Marmot Man living the dream right now.]

└ [Fr, I wonder what she smells like? 😳]

└ [Bro’s asking the real questions 💀…]

[Judy Cho literally does not care about looks, huh?]

└ [We BEEN knew. She only likes real ones.]

[She literally vibing with Shadow, and we ALL know it ain’t about his face under the mask.]

└ [Shadow’s probably hot tho.]

└ [Even if he ain’t, bro still the GOAT.]

･･･

Marmot Man sat there, perplexed.

Still drenched in sweat.

Still unsure of how exactly he saved the day.

But as Judy hugged him tighter, something hit him.

For the first time in his life…

He wasn’t just Marmot Man, the joke.

He was Marmot Man, the Hero.

The unluckiest, sweatiest, most disgusting hero of all time…

… but a hero nonetheless.

━ ━ ━ ━

WHAM!

Witch shot forward while her boots barely skimmed the floor as she leapt into the air and twisted her body for a devastating dropkick straight to Mr. Invincible’s chest.

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THUD.

Nothing.

Her boots hit him like a fly tapping against a skyscraper.

The moment she made contact, his hand snapped up—fast, brutal—fingers outstretched to seize her legs and twist them into something she wouldn’t walk on again.

But before his grip could close──BAM!

A fist from Dog Girl slammed into his jaw and snapped his head sideways.

And before he could recover──CRACK!

Another punch blasted his face from the opposite direction and forced his head to violently jerk the other way.

Vixen.

She stood there, muscles taut, chest heaving, her knuckles tingling from the impact. A wicked grin curled her lips as her fox-like eyes gleamed.

"Ohhh, you felt that, huh?"

By this time, Witch had already clambered up his back like a serpent, arms locking around his neck, legs curling around his torso, squeezing tight.

In the distance, Sniperess positioned herself, taking in a slow, measured breath. Her high-tech sniper rifle hummed as she adjusted its settings while her fingers swiftly cranked the energy output to 80%.

The viewers saw it. They knew what was coming.

[OH SHIT, SNIPERESS IS WINDING UP!!!]

[👀👀 SHE ABOUT TO LAND THAT SHOT!!!]

[This about to be a national event.]

└ [It already is, dawg. 💀]

The trigger squeezed.

A searing red bullet erupted from the barrel as the sheer force blasted Sniperess slightly backward as the high-caliber round TOOOMED through the air like a lightning bolt.

Straight for Mr. Invincible’s skull.

CRACK!

The bullet slammed into his forehead.

It dug in. Just enough.

A small, thin scratch formed, a single line of blood trickling down his face.

For a moment, everything stood still. Then──

Witch kicked off his back and flipped through the air.

But before she could fully escape──SNAP!

His hand latched onto her ankle.

A second later, she twisted, shifting mid-air, then locked her legs around his arm and contorted herself to pin one of his hands behind his back.

It was fast. Efficient. Perfectly executed.

Just as he was about to flex his strength and break free—

TOOOOM!

Another sniper shot.

BLAM!

The bullet smacked the side of his head and sent him tumbling across the museum floor like a ragdoll until he crashed through debris.

Witch landed smoothly, then flipped her hair back as she smirked at Sniperess.

"Good work."

Sniperess chuckled as she blew imaginary smoke from her sniper barrel.

"Bull’s-eye."

The chat was loving every second of this.

[🔥🔥🔥 Bro is getting straight up jumped.]

└ [WHERE THE HELL ARE HIS HOMIES LMFAOOOO]

└ [They really hit this man with Call of Duty teamwork.]

└ [Sniperess on that ’one shot, one kill’ grind, except dude won’t die.]

[Sniperess’ fine ass could shoot a mosquito’s left nut from 2 miles away, ong.]

[Why they lowkey being unfair tho? 💀]

└ [So they should just let him win then?? TF you mean?]

└ [Rope Girl already taught them the no openings rule. They ain’t playing around.]

└ [Yeah, this is literally military-level strategy. Rope Girl raised these ladies right.]

[Lowkey, this fight is proof that if Nightwatch ever beefs with the Hero Agency he’s dead 💀 this is why they picked Rope Girl’s squad to handle him.]

└ [Yup. They will run his ass to the ground.]

└ [Lemme fuckin’ tell you, Nightwatch fans not gonna like that take.]

└ [Bro, Nightwatch’s stans are already in the replies screaming "ACKSHUALLY".]

･･･

Mr. Invincible touched his forehead.

His fingers came away smeared with blood.

His own blood.

His face twisted in sheer disbelief.

"… I’m bleeding."

His voice was quiet. Stunned.

He stared at the red streak on his fingers, brows furrowing.

"This doesn’t make sense."

He wiped his forehead again, then smeared the blood further, and slowly—so, so slowly—his expression darkened into something monstrous.

"You’re all dead."

Before he could take a step—darkness surged.

A violent shadow tore through reality itself as it swirled like a nightmarish abyss.

Then──THWMP!

Shadow appeared.

Standing protectively in front of the four women.

His stance was firm.

Fingers curled as his sharp dark claws extended with menacing intent from his gloves.

His unreadable mask faced forward.

"Man…"

Shadow exhaled.

"If you’re trying to pick up more chicks, threatening them with death isn’t the way to do it."

The veins in Mr. Invincible’s temple pulsed.

A deep, guttural growl rumbled in his chest.

His muscles tensed.

A single flex──BOOM.

He launched forward as his trunk-sized fists aimed straight for Shadow’s chest at a speed fast enough to punch a hole through solid steel.

But the moment his fists were about to connect—FWIP!

Shadow vanished.

Mr. Invincible’s fists passed straight through him.

No resistance. No impact. Just air.

His momentum carried him forward──CRASH!

He slammed into a marble pillar and collapsed under a mountain of rubble.

Shadow reappeared, shaking his head.

"Damn…"

Hechuckled.

"That was the most NPC-ass move you could’ve done."

The chat ERUPTED.

[💀💀💀 NPC BEHAVIOR ALERT]

└ [Bro just did a level 1 enemy attack.]

└ [Why do they always do the ’charge in a straight line’ move? That shit never works.]

└ [I swear dude just activated a cutscene.]

[Ong, if a villain ever does that weak ass move, I straight up know I’ve already won the fight. 😭🙏]

[Legit the type of moves Black Disaster Knightwatch and Red were pulling off, but at least they were taking down buildings and bridges with those punches! I don’t think we’ll ever have a fight that good again… 🤷‍♂️]

└ [Real 🗿]

└ [Black Knight was so gas! I NEED it again 😭]

･･･

Mr. Invincible ROARED.

The rubble exploded off him as he launched again.

This time, he started swinging.

Fists flying.

Each punch fast enough to shatter sound.

Each strike capable of killing.

But every hit? Whiffed. Nothing.

He punched again. Air.

Again. Air.

Again. Again. Again.

Every single punch passed harmlessly through Shadow.

Shadow just stood there, completely unfazed.

He let out a small hum.

"Huh."

His voice was light, almost curious.

"So basically… super strength, supersonic flight, and the usual near invulnerability."

Shadow tilted his head slightly.

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"… Which means you’re useless if you can’t pound something properly."

The chat DETONATED.

[💀💀💀 HOLY FUCK]

└ [SOMEONE BAN HIM.]

└ [I SWEAR TO GOD HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT.]

└ [BRO GOT NO CHILL.]

[NOOOOOO 😭 That’s literally what his ex-wife told me before we divorced.]

└ [NO WAY.]

└ [She was the breadwinner and all she wanted was good dick. I couldn’t even do that.]

･･･

Mr. Invincible’s rage hit critical.

His eyes burned. His hands shook. His muscles tensed.

And Shadow just stood there.

Waiting. Smirking behind his mask.

"… Wanna try again?"

Mr. Invincible threw his arms out wide.

Then—

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

His furious scream tore through the battlefield like a mighty shockwave as veins bulged rom his neck and his muscles expanded like they had become swollen.

The ground trembled beneath him as raw, unfiltered rage exploded from every pore of his body.

Then he lunged.

A meteor. A missile of flesh and fury.

Straight for Shadow.

But this time, Shadow moved.

Like a streak of black lightning—FWOOOM—he shot forward as a blur of darkness sliced through the air.

And then──PHASE.

His body passed through Mr. Invincible like a wraith.

For a split second, nothing happened.

Then—

"Ghhkk—!!"

Mr. Invincible’s body jerked violently.

His feet skidded to a halt.

A sickening GULP followed.

Then—SPLUUUURT.

He collapsed to his knees. Blood.

Dark, crimson streaks dripped from his lips as he clutched his side in disbelief, eyes wide, breath ragged.

"Wh—what was… that?"

He gasped, struggling to keep himself upright.

Before he could even process what had happened—

Shadow’s arms snapped forward.

"Deploy Abyss Chains."

KRRRRRRRRK—!!!

A chorus of dark chains burst from his outstretched hands and twisted through the air like starving serpents. The shadows writhed and lunged as their cold, abyssal weight crashed into Mr. Invincible and wrapped around his torso, his arms, his legs to bind him in an instant.

He struggled. He fought.

But the chains wouldn’t break.

"RRRRAAAAAGHHHHH!!!"

He roared, muscles bulging, veins popping, tendons stretching to their limits—

But before he could snap the chains—

Shadow YANKED.

[💀💀💀 NAH THIS LOOKS LIKE A FINAL BOSS ATTACK.]

└ [THEY GAVE THIS MAN TOO MUCH SCREEN TIME. HE’S FINISHED.]

└ [Dude is about to get sealed in the Shadow Realm.]

└ [The chains are literally dragging him into hell, I swear.]

･･･

Using the chains as an anchor, he slingshotted himself forward—WHOOSH—his body whipping through the air like a launched projectile.

Then──BAM!!

His boots SLAMMED into Mr. Invincible’s jaw.

A violent CRACK echoed.

Mr. Invincible’s head snapped sideways as his entire body lifted off the ground, flipping uncontrollably as he was blasted through the air, limbs flailing before CRASHING into the dirt, skidding and tumbling like a ragdoll.

The chat ERUPTED.

[🔥🔥🔥 GODDAMN, HE SENT HIS ASS FLYING]

└ [SHADOW GOT THE COMBO GAME OF A FIGHTING GAME CHARACTER WTF]

└ [THE VELOCITY OF THAT DROP KICK?? DID THIS MAN JUST HIT HIM WITH AN ACTUAL IN-GAME LAUNCHER LMFAOO]

Mr. Invincible groaned, staggering to his feet.

But Shadow was already gone.

Then—

"GAAAAHHH!!"

A sharp, piercing pain lanced through his torso.

He looked down.

Three daggers. No──void daggers.

Their dark, ethereal forms phased straight through his supposedly unbreakable skin and dug deep inside his body to completely disrupt his entire system.

His breath hitched.

Shadow emerged from the darkness behind him.

Before Mr. Invincible could react──CRACK!!

His arm SNAPPED backwards.

"ARRRRGHHHHHHHH!!!"

Dark tendrils wrapped around his limbs, twisting and breaking them mercilessly. His screams pierced the high-security room as agony exploded through his nerves.

Then──BAM!!

A punch to the gut.

WHAM!!

A kick to the ribs.

BAP! BAP! BAP!

A flurry of punches rained down on him from every direction, each one coming from an impossible angle.

He swung wildly, trying to hit back—

But every time—nothing.

Just air.

Shadow phased. Shadow warped.

And then──BANG!

An elbow to the forehead.

CRACK!

A knee to the nose──shattering it.

Mr. Invincible’s vision blurred.

Blood gushed from his nostrils.

And Shadow──Shadow didn’t stop.

BAP. BAP. BAM.

A storm of attacks crashed down on Mr. Invincible like an inescapable nightmare as every hit carved deeper into his durability, shattering his confidence, beating his arrogance out of him, punch by punch, kick by kick.

Finally──Shadow spread his arms.

He looked like a fierce warlock.

The darkness responded.

SHLIIIIK—!

Chains. Dozens of them.

They exploded outward in every direction.

Mr. Invincible’s eyes widened.

"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU BASTARD!!!"

He tried to flee—soaring into the air in desperation—

But the chains HUNTED him.

They shot upward, wrapping around his ankles, his waist, his arms, dragging him down, down, down—

SLAM!!!

He hit the ground.

The chains tightened.

He screamed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO──!!!"

The viewers lost their minds.

[This shit is basically what happens when my little brother button mashes in any combat game. 💀]

[SHADOW JUST TURNED MR. INVINCIBLE INTO A TRAINING DUMMY.]

└ [THIS IS HIS FIRST FIGHT????? FIRST FIGHT AND HE’S ALREADY CATCHING Ws LIKE THIS????]

[LOWKEY, THIS IS WHY THE SHADOW FACTOR SUIT IS ALWAYS GONNA BE ELITE.]

└ [FACTS. Versatility is unmatched. It’s not just brute force, it’s SKILL.]

└ [Bro turned this into a full-on fighting game combo video. I’m actually shook. 💀]

[IMAGINE LOSING IN FRONT OF 1.6 MILLION VIEWERS. I’D NEVER SHOW MY FACE AGAIN.]

└ [His barber gon be disappointed ong 😭]

･･･

Shadow stood over his fallen enemy.

Then—

"… Tch."

He exhaled sharply.

His hand shot to his ribs.

His breathing was ragged. His body… ached.

"Damn…"

He muttered.

"This suit is taking a damn toll on my body…"

Then──COUGH!

Blood dribbled from his lips.

His knees buckled. His vision blurred.

But before he could collapse—

Multiple hands caught him.

Witch. Dog Girl. Vixen. Sniperess. Judy.

He blinked, suddenly aware that he was resting in their arms with his head on their full, tender laps.

A tired sigh left him.

"… You guys."

Witch smirked. "You don’t sound excited to see us."

Shadow let out a weak chuckle.

"Trust me, I am… I’m just tired."

The chat EXPLODED.

[BRUH IS LITERALLY SURROUNDED BY BAD BITCHES, THIS ISN’T FAIR.]

└ [GOD I WISH THAT WERE ME.]

└ [WTF IS THIS?! 😡 WHY DOES HE GET TO BE COOL AND HAVE A HAREM??]

└ [SOMEONE STOP HIM. HE’S WINNING TOO HARD.]

[IF THIS IS HOW THE FIRST SHADOW STREAM WENT, THE REST OF THE HERO RANKINGS ARE COOKED.]