Holding Onto My Man-Chapter 75

TL: Cat

TLC: Elestrea

Editor: Evan

After Gu Bai was ejected out of the light barrier, his entire being was still in a sluggish state.

If he didn’t hear it wrong just now, that monster had called his mysterious master “Master”. How could this be…?

Before, the beast had mistakenly recognised him as its “master” because the original power of his man was inside his soul. In other words, the “Master” that came out of the beast’s mouth was most likely referring to his man.

However, just now, the other party had called the mysterious Master as its “master”, so in other words, the mysterious master was his man!

How is this possible ne, how is this possible ne…?

Gu Bai’s mind was blank. He had too many questions, but it was obviously not the time to ask and think about them.

Forced to calm down, he looked at the surrounding environment. He was standing on a small sand dune that wasn’t far from the camp. There was no one nor any zombies around. He was safe for the time being.

Since the mysterious man said to go back, let’s do the task first. Let’s not worry about it for a while.

Taking a deep breath, Gu Bai closed his eyes and received the plot that he had originally lost.

The plot began with the same storyline he had received at the very beginning. The original host’s life was very rough. He grew up in an orphanage and was later sold to a nightclub.

However, the original host wasn’t as lucky as Gu Bai had been. At that time, he didn’t meet his rescuer. No matter whether he was willing or not, and no matter how much he struggled, in the end, he was still sold off to the nightclub’s Boss.

Nevertheless, due to his good looks and the fact that ever since he was a child he had learned to observe the words and appearances of others, his days weren’t that bad. Besides receiving guests, life at the nightclub was actually very comfortable.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to run away again, but the boys and girls who entered there had their wings clipped. After some boys who had tried to escape died miserably, he gave up trying, because he didn’t want to die.

He thought he might’ve been planted there all his life until he grew old and was then abandoned.

Yet before long, Shen Guohui, who accidentally knew of his existence, came to the nightclub and brought him home.

No one knew how he felt during that time. After so many years of being an orphan, he suddenly had a father who loved him very much. He was left confused, worried, afraid, and was at a loss.

Because he was afraid that it was just a dream, afraid to be abandoned again.

After arriving at the Shen family’s house, he saw Shen Muze, who had his fate swapped with him.

At that time, considering various reasons. Shen Guohui didn’t tell them the truth, but instead said he had just lost the original host due to a mishap. He and Shen Muze were both sons of the Shen family.

The original host was a sensitive person, especially in the emotional aspect, so on the first day of entering the Shen family’s home, he could perceive that Shen Muze didn’t like him.

Also, no one would be able to calmly accept the fact that the father who loved him suddenly brought back a brother to share his love.

Later, it turned out that he and Shen Muze were doomed to be brothers who hated each other.

Shen Muze didn’t like him and he also didn’t like Shen Muze. As a result, in front of Shen Guohui, they got along with each other amiably, but in private, they tended to get along like water and fire. The tension was getting worse and worse, and finally it broke out.

Nonetheless, Shen Muze had been protected too well since he was a child. He was a willful young master. But regardless if it was the original host who stirred up the trouble, or if it was Shen Muze who picked a quarrel, Shen Muze wasn’t his opponent at all. Every time he would stomp out in a fit of anger.

However, in spite of all this, the original host wasn’t happy to win. In fact, he envied Shen Muze and the other party’s stupidity, because every time he saw such a pure person, he would feel filthy.

No matter whether he was the young master of the Shen family or not, he couldn’t deny that he was an orphan who nobody wanted, a beggar on the streets, a bad child who went to steal others’ things, or even a young master who used to stay in a brothel.

Even if there were countless reasons to explain, there were countless compelling factors, but being dyed black meant being dyed black, which was impossible to clean up.

The contrast between black and white made him feel inferior and jealous.

At this time, the apocalypse suddenly came, and Shen Muze had a power, yet he himself was merely an ordinary person.

He began to feel more panic and more fear. The apocalypse was too cruel, and he had no ability, so he was afraid of being abandoned again.

In particular, Shen Muze hated him very much and always wanted to drive him away, so he could only pretend to be clever to please everyone. This was the survival method for an ordinary young man, as to please the strong was to survive.

He was very successful. The weak was protected, and he looked at the angry and jealous Shen Muze while ridiculing him in his heart.

Shen Muze was such a fool. He was clearly loved by his father, liked by Wu Ge, and had the status of a young master. Yet he was so stupid that he thought the only way he could be liked by everyone was by acting willful, when in fact, he didn’t need to do anything at all… What a loser.

Yet… Even when ridiculing Shen Muze, he felt more and more miserable. The more ignorant Shen Muze was, the more dirty he felt.

Until later when he and Shen Muze accidentally found out about the actual situation, his self abasement was all turned into unwillingness.

It turned out that Shen Muze’s “young master” life, his father’s love, and all those happy days should have been his.

Yet, because of a mistake, his destiny had completely changed. To be able to live like an ordinary person was an extravagant hope, as he had to struggle at the bottom of society and live without any hope everyday.

He was not a saint. He was just an ordinary teenager. He would hate and complain too.

For what reason did Shen Muze have the right to put up an act, dislike, and resent me? I’m the one who should hate him the most!

The contradiction made it impossible for him and Shen Muze to make peace, so they quarreled and robbed each other, until one day, Shen Muze ran away from home in a fit of temper.

After that, when they got news of Shen Muze again, it was the news of his death.

Shen Muze’s death should’ve been good news for him, but in fact, it was not.

Shen Muze left the house because of him. They had a big dispute the night before, even though he didn’t intentionally cause Shen Muze to leave, but in the final analysis, it was because of him.

In the eyes of everyone, he was a vicious man with hidden, dark thoughts…

Wu Donghan was the first to be angry with him. Shen Muze always thought that Wu Donghan had changed his mind, but it hadn’t changed at all. Wu Ge only thought of Xiao Yu as his younger brother, and Xiao Ze was always the one he liked.

Although Shen Guohui wasn’t angry, he was obviously very disappointed. One was his own shameful son, while the other was his adopted son whom he had deeply treasured for many years. Both of them were equally important in his heart.

Shen Muze had died, and the deceased should be respected. The original host could clearly feel that between him and Shen Guohui, there were many layers of estrangement.

Between him and Shen Muze, the stupid Shen Muze had won in the end.

The other side used his own ignorance to make the original host lose everything he had, making him lose the love of his only father, his Ge, and also the love he had received from everyone else.

The dead were freed of all their troubles, while the living were in the most pain, especially those who had to crawl out of the swamp like the original host, who had clutched onto his happiness as if it was his life-saving straw.

He not only resented Shen Muze, but also everyone else, even Shen Guohui.

If he could, he wouldn’t have returned to the Shen family at all, even if he had to crawl and be disgraced in that kind of place. He would be willing, because at least that way, he wouldn’t have to experience and receive pain and suffering again.

Gain and loss were nothing to an ordinary person, yet they were fatal to his weak heart.

If he didn’t return to the Shen family’s house, when he grew older, he could always buy a small house with his “savings” from selling himself, open up a small shop and live a life with some peace. He might even receive some good luck and find someone who would never abandon him and might actually like him.

Yet now, he had lost everything, and it was more painful than when he had nothing before.

Therefore, the original host was very unwilling.

He hated Shen Muze, but he didn’t want Shen Muze to die as easily as he did in his previous life. He wanted Shen Muze to truly lose Shen Guohui’s affection and love for him, as well as Wu Donghan’s fondness for him, and to enjoy the same pain and suffering he once did!

“Hu….”

After receiving the lost plot, Gu Bai breathed out a long sigh.

Before that, the original host’s emotions had hindered him, making him protect Shen Muze again and again. He thought that the original host might have done something wrong and was sorry for it, and he also thought that the other side’s wish was atonement.

Now that the plot actually looked like this, he had to say that the original host of this world was actually quite an idiot.

Although his mouth said that he hated Shen Muze and everyone else, it was just an excuse. He was just a contradictory person and was very confused. He hated them, but couldn’t really take revenge.

Even though he always thought that he was dirty and bad, this was a boy who was purer than any white paper. He was a foolish and pathetic boy…

………

Finally, heaving a long sigh of relief, Gu Bai pressed down his emotions, followed the direction of camp, and began to return.

Ah Hu and the others had returned one step earlier, and they were shocked to find out that Gu Bai, who was no longer a zombie, came back, but immediately, they began to feel concerned for Xiao Li.

Although he was only fighting in the light barrier for a while now, outside of the barrier, almost a week had passed since he had left. Xiao Li disappeared not too long after jumping after him from behind and hadn’t returned since. Ah Hu and the others were very worried.

Gu Bai was silent for a while, then he jumped into the strange swamp and began to search alone. Ah Hu and the others didn’t dare to follow him, because the black swamp was very harmful to them, so Gu Bai could only search alone.

However, Gu Bai spent ten whole days searching after his continuous labour of looking throughout the swamp for Xiao Li. Finally, not even a hair of him could be found, as if the man had disappeared out of nowhere.

At last, Ah Hu and the others could only guess that their Boss had died. Only Gu Bai had the answer in his heart, and everything would be known when he returned to the starry space.

The wish of the original host was not too difficult. Shen Muze was really stupid. There was no need for the original host to retaliate against him, as Shen Muze could easily just kill himself.

Looking at Gu Bai who had recovered his sanity, Shen Muze finally couldn’t bear the guilt of hiding his original life’s history for a long time and cried out to Shen Guohui.

No matter how guilty and regretful he was, the moment he had decided to take Su Yu to the amusement park was when he had made the wrong decision. His decision was no different from intentional murder.

Shen Guohui couldn’t accept what was being said and fainted on the spot. Wu Donghan’s heart cramped up as he felt his whole body turn cold. He couldn’t accept that the simple, sweet boy that was portrayed in his mind had become like this.

Looking at Shen Muze who had been regretting and apologising, Gu Bai had no sympathy. f𝒓𝗲𝗲𝒘𝑒𝚋ｎoѵ𝒆𝗹.co𝗺

The original host was really stupid. He always said that Shen Muze was stupid, but in fact, the stupidest person was himself.

He doesn’t need to have any inferiority. Shen Muze wasn’t clean. He was ignorant and stupid. In fact, the original host was the purest person in his heart.

The truth of the matter was clear, and Gu Bai didn’t want to accept the compensation that Shen Guohui, who felt very guilty after waking up, offered him.

The original host’s feelings for Shen Guohui were very complex. He was eager for his father’s love, yet now he didn’t want it. Furthermore, he didn’t want to go back to the Shen family. In addition, he didn’t want any relationship with the Shen family, nor did he want Shen Guohui to make up for that missing paternal love. Let bygones be bygones.

He was Su Yu, not Shen Yu.

Even if Su Yu was unloved and struggled to live at the very bottom of society, he was still happy.

Shen Yu, however, would forever have to live very cautiously just to be able to curry favor with people. Feeling inferior and jealous, he finally lost everything except for the feeling of pain.

Indeed, he was such a silly and pitiful child whom people couldn’t help but feel sorry for…

In fact, this task wasn’t difficult. Even the last wish of the original host was very simple. As the original host wished, Shen Muze really lost Shen Guohui’s love for him along with Wu Donghan’s fondness towards him.

In his previous life, Shen Muze thought he had lost it, but in fact, he had it with him all along. In his previous life, he died happily, and as a result, the original host kept himself away from Shen Guohui and Wu Donghan.

Now, just like in the previous life with the original host, Shen Guohui was very disappointed with Shen Muze, and even Wu Donghan couldn’t accept the truth and chose to leave him behind.

Without the protection and love of Shen Guohui and Wu Donghan, Shen Muze struggled alone in the apocalypse and truly realised the cruelty of the apocalypse.

In addition to his inner regret and guilt, he tried several times to seek death and to be relieved by his own guilt. Unfortunately, he failed every time. God seemed to oppose him constantly and didn’t take his life, letting him continue to live on. Day and night he experienced pain and suffering, until finally, he died a natural death.

When he saw Shen Muze’s dying breath, Gu Bai was relieved to return to the starry space.

During these years, Shen Muze’s failure to find death was naturally his doing. The original host’s wish was to let Shen Muze live his life and experience his agony. Naturally, he couldn’t let him easily commit suicide.

Cat: Wow what a chapter. One word when I finished this chapter: Stupid! 𝒇𝐫ℯ𝑒𝒘ℯ𝑏n𝑜ѵ𝐞l.c𝗼𝗺

The amount of “stupid” I had to keep translating tho…Anyway, we have one more chapter left until this concludes the apocalypse arc for us~