How to Survive as a BL Villain-Chapter 60: I’m still me

The silence in the room wasn’t empty.

It was alive.

Breathing. Watching. Waiting.

Cassian sat curled on the edge of his bed, arms wrapped around his knees like he was trying to hold himself together not just his body, but his soul, his name, his entire existence. His eyes never lifted. They stayed fixed on the worn carpet between his feet, as if the floor held the answers to everything he’d buried.

Aiden stood by the window, back turned, hands clenched into fists so tight his knuckles had turned white. His chest rose and fell in slow, uneven waves like a man who’d been holding his breath for years and just remembered how to inhale.

Leonel stood beside the bed, arms crossed, jaw set. He didn’t move. Didn’t speak. But his eyes dark, sharp, unblinking never left Cassian’s trembling form.

Then, softly, like a confession whispered into a void, Cassian began.

"I wasn’t always Cassian."

Aiden didn’t turn. But his breath hitched just once.

"I was Elliot Reeves. Sixteen. Lived in a small town outside Chicago. My mom left when I was nine. My dad... he didn’t care. So I learned to be quiet. To be invisible."

A beat.

"Lucian... was my neighbor’s older brother."

Leonel’s fingers twitched.

Cassian swallowed. "Or... I can say *Damien*. That’s his real name."

The name landed like a gunshot.

Aiden turned.

Leonel’s breath stopped.

They both remembered.

The photo.

The one Cassian burned in the kitchen sink weeks ago the one with two boys, one smiling, one staring into the camera with hollow eyes. The boy with the smirk the same smirk Lucian wore now, was Damien. The other... was him.

Elliot.

Cassian didn’t look up. Didn’t need to. He knew they remembered.

"He was nice," he continued, voice flat, hollow. "At first. Bought me snacks after school. Walked me home when it rained. Told me I was smart. Special. Said I had a quiet strength."

Aiden’s throat tightened.

"He started calling me bunny," Cassian went on. "Said I looked like one small, scared, easy to catch."

A pause. A shudder.

"He started touching me when I wasn’t looking.while i was in his car, he started putting his hand on my thigh. At first i thought it was in a friendly way but it was not. I used to wake up with hickey’s when he used to stay over he used to give me those when i was sleeping and when i asked him he, Said it was love. Said I belonged to him."

Cassian’s fingers dug into his arms, nails leaving crescent marks.

"I told my friends once," he whispered. "They laughed. Said I was confused. Said I wanted attention. One of them even told the teacher. She told me I was ’making up stories to get sympathy.’"

His voice cracked.

"Then... one night, he broke into my house."

Leonel’s eyes widened.

Cassian’s voice dropped so low, it barely existed.

"He was drunk. Smashed the front door of my house. Pulled me out of bed. i dont know why he suddenly started kissing me, and when I fought back, he punched me. Yanking. Screaming. He dragged me to my room. Locked the door. Took out... chains."

Aiden turned fully now. His face was pale. His eyes were wet.

"He... forced himself on me."

The words didn’t scream.

They bled.

Leonel didn’t move. But he sank to his knees beside the bed, slowly, carefully, like he was approaching a wounded animal. He didn’t reach for him. Didn’t try to comfort him.

He just placed his hand on Cassian’s knee.

Warm. Solid. I’m here.

Cassian looked down at it. Then up at Leonel. His eyes were empty. Broken. But he didn’t pull away.

"He made my life hell," Cassian whispered. "Told the whole school what he’d done. Not the truth. The lie. Said I seduced him. Said I liked it. Said I was asking for it."

His voice broke.

"Kids stopped talking to me. Teachers looked away. My best friend stopped sitting with me at lunch. My dad... he didn’t ask questions. He just said, ’You’re lucky he didn’t kill you.’"

A tear slipped down Cassian’s cheek. He didn’t wipe it.

"He locked me in my room for three days. No food. No water. Just... chains. And his voice. On the phone. Every hour. he used to come to my place time to time to do stuff with me

He swallowed hard.

"I screamed. I cried. I begged. No one came."

His voice dropped to a whisper.

"I thought I was going to die."

He finally looked up.

At Aiden.

And for the first time since he’d begun speaking he saw him.

Not the boy he’d become.

Not the name he’d stolen.

But the boy who had loved him

Aiden stood there trembling.

"I woke up here," Cassian said, voice quiet, final. "I don’t know how. I don’t know why. One second, I was in my room, chained to my bed, screaming for help. The next... I was in a dorm room. With a name that wasn’t mine. A face that wasn’t mine. And a boy... who loved me."

He looked at Aiden again.

"And you... You Treated me like i meant something and was with me and supported me no matter what i wanted to tell you i am not him but everytime it crossed my mind i felt you will leave me"

Aiden’s breath caught.

He didn’t speak.

He didn’t move.

He just stared at the boy who had lived his friend’s life. Who had carried his memories. Who had lived beside him.

"I didn’t steal his life," Cassian whispered. "I didn’t kill him. I don’t even know if he’s alive. But I woke up in it. And I was so scared... so alone... that I became him. For you. For everyone."

Leonel’s hand tightened on his knee.

Aiden’s voice cracked raw, broken, trembling like a wire about to snap.

"I don’t know what I’m supposed to love," he said, voice barely above a whisper. "I miss the boy who laughed at my terrible jokes. Who cried during sad movies. Who knew my favorite song. Who called me ’Aid’ when he was tired. That boy... he’s gone. And now I’m staring at someone who... who carries his memories like they’re his own."

He took a step forward.

"I don’t know if I should hate you because you came, my friend is gone."

Another step.

"I don’t know if I should thank you for giving me these feelings i have today."

Another.

"I don’t know if I should let you go so I don’t feel guilty about replacing my friend."

He stopped.

Right in front of Cassian.

His eyes were red.

His hands shook.

But his voice when it came was steady.

"I do know this."

He reached out.

Not to hug.

Not to pull away.

Just to touch gently Elliot’s cheek.

"I love you."

The words didn’t fix anything.

Didn’t erase the past.

Didn’t bring back the boy who fell from the tree.

But they held him.

Like a lifeline.

Cassian didn’t cry.

He didn’t smile.

He just looked at Aiden deeply, painfully and whispered:

"don’t hate me I’m still me."

he said this like a whisper while holding his cry back

Leonel didn’t say anything but he surely did hear what elliot said

He just leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Cassian’s knee.

A silent vow.

I’m not leaving. I am here with yo

Outside, the wind rattled the window.

Inside, the phone on the desk glowed.

One message.

From an unknown number.

> "Do you need more push to come back to me, bunny?"

Cassian didn’t look at it.

didn’t realise he gotten a message

He just closed his eyes.

And for the first time since he arrived in this world

he didn’t want to disappear.

all he wanted in his past life was to dissapear but this time here with them

He wanted to stay. 𝕗𝗿𝕖𝐞𝐰𝗲𝕓𝐧𝕠𝕧𝗲𝐥.𝚌𝐨𝚖

Aiden’s hand stayed on his cheek.

Leonel’s head stayed on his knee.

And for the first time

Elliot wasn’t hiding.

He was being held.

Not because he was Cassian.

But because he was him.

And that

was enough.