I Abandoned My Beast Cubs for the Protagonist... Oops?-Chapter 60: Chemical Warfare

"Are you absolutely, unequivocally certain about this?"

Mo Xiao stood at the edge of the central cooking fire, his massive arms extended as far away from his body as physically possible.

In his hands, he held a thick, woven basket. He was treating the basket as if it contained a live, highly agitated venomous snake.

"Hand them over, Alpha," Bai Yue demanded, holding out a large wooden bowl.

Mo Xiao swallowed hard. "Bai Yue, our hunters use these to strip the slime off Swamp Hydras. When the wind blows through the fire-pepper patch, the birds literally fall out of the sky. This is not food. This is a war crime."

"Just put the peppers in the bowl, Mo Xiao," Bai Yue grinned. "If you want to defeat a fire-breathing lizard, you have to fight fire with fire. Specifically, Sichuan-style fire." 𝑓𝘳𝘦𝑒𝑤𝑒𝘣𝘯ℴ𝘷𝘦𝓁.𝑐𝑜𝑚

With a heavy sigh of impending doom, Mo Xiao tipped the basket.

A mountain of small, shriveled, bright red peppers tumbled into Bai Yue’s bowl.

"You are magnificent when you are plotting an assassination," Zhāo Yàn purred from his spot leaning against a nearby tree.

The Fox Lord had completely abandoned any pretense of helping. He was simply watching her with his arms crossed, his nine silver tails swishing in slow arcs, looking at her like she was the single most fascinating creature in the universe.

"I am not assassinating anyone," Bai Yue muttered, her cheeks warming slightly despite her focus. "I’m just.....aggressively expanding her culinary horizons. Now, pass me the boar fat."

For the next two hours, the center of the Thousand Fang Tribe was transformed into a hazard zone.

Bai Yue had commandeered the largest, heaviest stone cauldron in the village.

First, she rendered the fresh boar fat until it was a bubbling, liquid gold. Then, she tossed in crushed wild ginger, pungent garlic-root, and a handful of aromatic bark Zhāo Yàn had foraged that smelled vaguely like cinnamon.

It smelled amazing. The cubs, who had been banished to a safe distance, were practically drooling.

And then.....she added the fire-peppers.

HIIISSSSS.

The moment the mountain of crushed, demonic red peppers hit the boiling animal fat, a massive, visible plume of crimson smoke erupted from the cauldron.

The wind caught the red vapor and swept it directly across the village clearing.

"By the Great Spirit!" Mo Xiao bellowed, instantly slapping a hand over his nose and eyes. "Retreat! Everyone fall back!"

Total chaos ensued. The panther triplets began weeping uncontrollably. Two nearby wolf warriors dropped to their knees, coughing violently as if they had inhaled campfire smoke.

Even the snake twins slithered up a tree at lightning speed to escape the fumes.

"My eyes! My beautiful eyes!" Cāng Jì shrieked from the dirt, rolling around and clutching his face. "She has blinded me! The female has finally snapped and poisoned us all!"

"Oh, stop whining, it’s just chili oil!" Bai Yue coughed, her own eyes watering profusely as she aggressively stirred the bubbling, blood-red cauldron with a massive wooden paddle.

Through the stinging haze, she felt a cool, soft pressure wrap around her waist. Zhāo Yàn had stepped into the hazard zone.

He wrapped one of his massive, fluffy tails completely around the lower half of her face, acting as a luxurious, custom-made air filter.

"Are you trying to win a wager or wipe out the entire tribe, little mate?" Zhāo Yàn chuckled, his own eyes slightly narrowed against the spice.

"It has to be perfect," Bai Yue mumbled through the fluff of his tail. "If she doesn’t sweat, I lose my husband. And frankly, I have grown somewhat attached to your annoying face."

Zhāo Yàn’s chest boomed with a dark, pleased laugh. "Careful. Keep saying things like that, and I might just let her win so I can kidnap you and run away."

By the time the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky in vibrant shades of purple and orange, the air had finally cleared.

The entire village was gathered in a massive, fearful circle around the center fire, maintaining a strict twenty-foot perimeter from the cauldron.

Inside the stone pot, a dark red, oily broth boiled furiously. Thinly sliced pieces of wild boar meat and sweet tubers floated in the menacing liquid.

The hide curtain of the golden pavilion finally parted.

Cāng Yáo stepped out. She looked radiant, having clearly bathed and changed into a new set of flowing, starlight-blue silks.

Her gold jewelry chimed as she elegantly glided down her jade steps, her chin tilted up in arrogance.

She walked up to the fire, entirely ignoring the terrified beastmen shrinking away from her. She looked down at the bubbling red cauldron.

Her delicate nose wrinkled. "What is this foul-smelling concoction? It looks like boiling mud and blood."

"It’s called Mala Hot Pot," Bai Yue announced, stepping forward with a carved wooden bowl and a pair of makeshift wooden chopsticks. "It’s a delicacy from.....very far away. You said you wanted a meal. Here it is."

Bai Yue expertly plucked a thin, perfectly cooked slice of boar meat from the boiling red oil.

She placed it into the wooden bowl, ladled a tiny bit of the terrifying broth over it, and offered it to the Dragon Princess.

"Eat up, Sparkles," Bai Yue smiled, a dangerous glint in her eyes. "Let’s see if a First Generation Dragon can handle peasant food."

Cāng Yáo scoffed loudly. "I have swallowed the hearts of dying stars. Do not test me, mud-rat."

With a flick of her wrist, Cāng Yáo conjured a pair of pristine, glowing jade chopsticks. She elegantly took the slice of red, oil-dripping meat from Bai Yue’s bowl. She held it up to the firelight, inspecting it with deep disdain.

The entire village held its breath.

With a patronizing smirk, Cāng Yáo placed the meat into her mouth and began to chew.

Bai Yue counted in her head. One. Two. Three.

Dragons were creatures of fire. They were immune to physical flames. They slept in volcanoes. But capsaicin? Capsaicin was a chemical reaction. It tricked the brain’s pain receptors. It didn’t care if you were a celestial deity or a mortal, it demanded respect.

Cāng Yáo swallowed.

For a single, agonizing second, nothing happened. The Dragon Princess opened her mouth to speak, likely to deliver a crushing, arrogant insult.

Instead of an insult, a tiny, extremely undignified hiccup escaped her lips.

Along with a literal puff of black smoke.

Cāng Yáo froze. Her glowing golden eyes suddenly widened and her haughty mask of absolute superiority shattered.

A violent, unnatural flush of deep, burning crimson rapidly crawled up her neck, spreading across her flawless cheeks all the way to the tips of her pointed ears.

"S-Sister?" Cāng Jì whispered from the bushes.

Cāng Yáo didn’t answer. She couldn’t. She was currently experiencing the culinary equivalent of getting hit by a truck.

A bead of sweat, thick and heavy, rolled down the Dragon Princess’s temple. Her hands began to tremble.

She dropped her jade chopsticks into the dirt. She grabbed her own throat, her chest heaving as her biology violently warred with the unforgiving power of the fire-peppers.

Hiccup! Another puff of black smoke shot out of her nose.

"Oh no," Mo Xiao muttered, taking a massive step backward. "She is going to explode."

Cāng Yáo’s knees buckled slightly. She braced her hands on her thighs, panting heavily.

Tears were pouring out of her glowing golden eyes, completely ruining her regal composure.

She slowly lifted her head. She locked her blurry, watering eyes onto Bai Yue.

Bai Yue swallowed hard, her confidence suddenly faltering. Did I overdo it? Is she going to incinerate me now?

Cāng Yáo reached out a trembling, heavily jeweled hand. She grabbed the front of Bai Yue’s animal-hide tunic, pulling the human female dangerously close.

The Dragon Princess’s breath smelled entirely like chili oil and smoke.

"You....." Cāng Yáo wheezed, her voice hoarse and completely wrecked.

"I.....I can get you some....erm...water?" Bai Yue offered weakly, fearing for her life.

Cāng Yáo shook her head violently. She stared at the bubbling red cauldron, her pupils completely dilated.

She looked back at Bai Yue.

"Forget the stupid fox," Cāng Yáo rasped, her golden eyes burning with a sudden, crazed obsession. "Give me another bowl. Now."