I Am Overpowered And A Comedian In Another World-Chapter 74: I Accidentally Promised to Fill All His Holes

Sexis wanted my fist inside him.

There’s not any better way I could have said it. That was me being PG 13.

But this Alien bastard... I am fighting with Malthus for my life and he is thinking of fulfilling his fetish to-do list.

Erect must have felt my frustration because he stepped in. "Focus on Malthus, my lord. I’ll deal with this prostitute."

Sexis’s antennae twitched. "I am not a prostitute!"

"You are," Erect replied, flat and cold like a tax form.

"How?" Sexis asked, his antennas perking up in confusion.

"Who in their right mind asks for a fist in their... well, hole?" Erect shuddered. "I feel disgusted just saying it."

Sexis raised his scythe hand. "In my defense, he said he was going to kill me so I just told him how I wanted to die."

"You want to die like that?"

"I know. Legally, it’s okay. Morally, it’s questionable. But personally, I like it."

"That’s so dis—"

"You shitheads! Shut up!" I yelled, clutching my head like a single dad at a daycare.

Now I know how Malthus must have felt. Never in my wildest nightmares did I think I’d become the most serious person in a room.

After my shout, they both went shut.

"I won’t kill you, Sexis. Just... calm down. And please, for one second, be serious. If we survive this, I swear I’ll fill all your holes. Every last one of them. Just have some mercy on me and take this fight seriously."

I already regret this promise.

Sexis stretched his thin, scythe-like arms. "Racis, my friend, now that you’ve promised me this... you shall witness my true self."

"No. Spare us. I don’t want to see your true self. Just fight seriously, that’s enough for me."

"As you command." He straightened his back, his antennas trembling with excitement. I felt like I had just signed a dark, disgusting pact.

Then I turned to Erect. "You’re the first friend I made in this world, Erect. Let’s see this through to the end. If we win, we’ll do a comedy show together."

Erect smiled, his muscular frame seeming to radiate loyalty. "If that’s what you wish, my lord. It’s my honor to be your friend and your partner in the death of comedy."

"... You’re praising me, right?"

"Of course."

"Then what do you mean by the death of comedy?"

Erect smiled again. "Because I know you will kill it."

"Alright. Before the comedy show, we’ll be working on your praising skills. For now, I’ll allot you both something useful."

I snapped my fingers and Erect and Sexis bathed in a golden light.

Sexis looked down at his glowing body, his black skin reflecting the light like polished obsidian. His antennae twitched, and his eyes sparkled with excitement. He trembled and then looked at me with those shining, perverted eyes.

"Am I... about to receive a golden shower?"

"... I thought you said you’d be serious."

"I am serious."

"Never mind." I turned to Erect, deciding to only speak to him for the rest of this war. My mental health depended on it.

"I have increased all your stats by a hundred times. Now you both are strong, fast, agile, full of stamina and dangerous. It’s time for round two."

The golden light vanished from around their body and instantly, they used their new gifts.

They were standing very far from me, if not for my heightened eyesight I wouldn’t have been able to even see them but the next second, they took one step forward and...

WHISH!

They were already in front of me.

"Let’s take revenge for our fallen heroes, my lord."

I nodded.

I didn’t even bother with Sexis and luckily, the Alien said nothing as well. He was finally serious.

I turned around, my back facing them. Normally, I’d never expose my back to Sexis, but I took the risk this time. I had to believe in the power of my friendship.

"Let’s destroy this home invader," I said, my voice carrying a hint of anticipation.

"After you," Erect replied, his voice eager and ready for battle.

I bent my knees, squinting my eyes as I saw Malthus struggling to stop his flight. I decided to make his struggle last longer.

He should struggle like I did when I was accused of stealing children from a hospital. I was just taking them out for some fresh air. It’s not my fault people got suspicious just because I had them in a black plastic bag.

Anyway, now that I’ve locked onto my target, I won’t waste a single second.

WHOOSH!

I dashed off again.

I left behind a flash of golden light and in no time, I reached near the flying Malthus.

I sensed Sexis and Erect behind me but they will only attack when they see less risk. The heavy work shall be done by me—The God Of War.

I ran beside the flying Malthus and our eyes met.

"Enjoying business class, big guy?"

"You Human Kinggg! How dare you punch me?!"

Malthus dug his claws into the ground, trying to stop himself, but my punch had sent him flying with too much momentum.

"Don’t cry over one punch. There’s more to come."

"Just you wait. I will rip your heart and eat it!"

Malthus now used his legs to stop himself.

"It seems you want to stop. Fine. I can help."

I stopped running.

I let Malthus fly past me and then I jumped.

Soon enough, I reached above the flying Malthus and...

THUMP!

I landed on him.

He was slammed on the ground, forming a crater once more.

I looked down on him.

"This position suits you."

"I will kill YOU!"

"If wishes were swords, everyone would be a swordsman."

"And if wishes were fulfilled, no one would be accused of sexual assault."

I sighed. Sexis had arrived behind me. I ignored him, focusing back on the struggling Malthus beneath my feet.

I had my left leg on his chest while the other stayed on the ground.

Malthus glared daggers at me and that’s when I noticed.

A purple patch etched on his face and when I saw its outline, I smiled.

"My fist looks good on your face, big—no, small guy."

Malthus’ eyes burned with rage. He raised his hand, but I was faster.

"I don’t like your horns."

SHRILL!

I swung my sword and with that Malthus could only stare at me as.. in front of his eyes...

I chopped down his prideful horns.

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