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I Might As Well Quit This Lousy Wizard Profession-Chapter 245 - 213 Strange Illness (Ask for Monthly Pass)
Chapter 245: 213 Strange Illness (Ask for Monthly Pass)
Chapter 245: 213 Strange Illness (Ask for Monthly Pass)
Chen Xinmi’s plans might be failing.
The human heart is a strange thing; not everything can be explained through reason.
Ever since her sister Chen Shuyun was captured to be experimented on, turned into something neither human nor ghost, and mercilessly attacked after her escape, she indeed managed to break free from the emotion of ‘dependency’.
But Chen Xinmi probably hadn’t anticipated that although her remedy wasn’t wrong, it was merely treating the symptoms, not the root cause.
Having lost the support of her sister, the increasingly fragile Chen Shuyun, after driving her sister away and weeping in Lin An’s arms, unexpectedly transferred this ‘dependence’ onto him.
Especially when Lin An was leading his men to establish the safest and final refuge for everyone.
Wherever Lin An was, Chen Shuyun would follow.
When Lin An left the shelter to go to work, Chen Shuyun would pitifully curl up in a corner of the forest, eagerly waiting for Lin An’s return.
Clearly, Chen Shuyun was seriously ill!
Her shattered and misplaced soul made the witch’s state incredibly bizarre.
Some days, when Lin An awoke from sleep, he could see Chen Shuyun hugging her knees and sitting in a row with little squirrels, crouching at the foot of the bed, tears streaming down her face.
After getting to know her better, Lin An finally got a grip on this witch’s pulse.
If Chen Xinmi’s spiritual aura was ‘wrapped in agitation amid its coolness’, then Chen Shuyun’s spiritual aura was a ‘jumbled mix of violence and unease’.
Both were teetering on the edge of self-destruction.
One like an egg, the other like a salad.
That night, Lin An was awakened by the singing of Ugly Head, something that almost never happened to him—he had unknowingly grown accustomed to Ugly Head’s nocturnal racket.
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In the end, it was the preoccupation in his mind that made his sleep so light.
Lin An fumbled with the covers, turned his head, and sure enough, he saw that Chen Shuyun had slipped in at some point and was curled up at the foot of the bed.
The stone houses made by his subordinates had now learned to construct foundations and thick, smooth stone floors but hadn’t yet had time to install a window.
Autumn was setting in, and the weather was turning cool. Although Lin An didn’t like Chen Shuyun coming to his room in the middle of the night, he still quietly laid out a thick carpet by the bed.
Lin An thought for a moment, climbed out of bed, took two bottles of fruit juice from the shelf on the wall of the room, and handed one to Chen Shuyun.
Chen Shuyun looked at him blankly, accepted the juice lightly, but did not drink it, just holding it in her arms.
Lin An sat down beside her, took a sip of water, and looked up at the forest sky outside the window.
“I know this isn’t good, and I’m sure it’s caused you a lot of trouble,” said Chen Shuyun weakly, her head buried in her chest.
Her voice became muffled, much like her mood.
“My personality is becoming stranger and stranger, sister… My sister counseled me, saying that all wizards are like this.”
“It’s like, although she hated the black cat you painted for her, she hung it in her room and stared at the portrait every night while smoking and daydreaming.”
“She…”
Chen Shuyun’s voice choked, “She used to scold me for hiding at the foot of her bed and then she would lift the covers to let me crawl in, holding me tightly…”
“Ah~”
She seemed to realize something, turned her anxious head towards Lin An, “I’m not saying you should do that too, I…”
Lin An smiled slightly, “I understand.”
He shrugged his shoulders, continued drinking his juice, and looked out at the sky, “I won’t laugh at you because I know I’m a wizard too, and maybe someday I’ll become what normal people consider a freak. Then try hard to hide my idiosyncrasies and not let anyone know.”
This feeling was particularly strong during the time when he first awakened the ‘Eye of Spirituality’.
Body, soul, and spirituality, all in one.
Spirituality is divided into True Self Spirituality and skill-based spirituality (like Witchcraft Spirituality and Dark Gold Statue).
See, humans are already quite perfect.
And wizards, these creatures extremely sensitive and easily influenced by the Spirit World Aura, begin to break the balance people should have; how could they possibly seem normal.
Whether the body, soul, or spirituality is affected, they will become monstrous.
Everyone is just trying hard to restrain themselves and not show abnormality.
“Actually, you can become normal,” Lin An thought for a moment and said to Chen Shuyun beside him. Seeing the bright look in her eyes, he continued, “Process emotions; that’s my own research.”
“The soul is extremely fragile, very susceptible to agitation.”
“The soul also possesses infinite strength, and the greater the agitation it suffers, the more likely it is to burst forth with opposite power.”
Lin An looked at the squirrel clinging to his ankle and gazing up at him with a smile, “The white python that represents ‘violence and brutality’ is a stimulant from your past. Therefore, you become increasingly uneasy, fearful, and timid.”
“According to the theory I’ve researched, you have two methods.”
“One is to fully accept your past self and digest the violent past self. The other is to empower the part of yourself that’s fragile so that it can counterbalance the violent part.”
“Once balanced, the two sides negate each other, and both violence and timidity will dissipate.”
When discussing theories of witchcraft, Chen Shuyun would no longer be in that tear-streaked, pitiful state; her expression would unconsciously become serious as she considered the ideas deeply.
“I don’t think so!”
She tilted her head and thought for a moment, explaining earnestly, “I know how terrifying the power of fragility can be when taken to the extreme. If you digest the violent part, fragility will become extreme, and likewise, it will fall into another extreme.”
“The second method, achieving balance between the two, indeed can work. But it’s a precarious balance; they will become more opposed, and instead of negating themselves, they will become more solidified. So, with the slightest provocation, one extreme will completely overcome the other and finally reveal itself.”
Lin An was taken aback, smacking his lips as he pondered carefully.
He finally shook his head.
“That’s the theory, but when I’m actually in practice, I can do it.”
Seeing Chen Shuyun’s curiosity, he began to talk about his state.
“I got involved in the disputes among the Wizard Association, Antler Witch-Hunting Knight Order, and Dark Sorcerer groups. I still held onto the persistence of living well in the normal world, so my heart inevitably became hesitant.”
“Then, as the pressure increased day by day, the hesitation in my heart began to breed ambition, which drove me to solve everything and profit from it, aspiring to become a successful person in the end.”
“But ambition alone couldn’t solve everything. The Supernatural World is too dangerous; sometimes there’s simply no reasoning.”
“Thus, my hesitation grew stronger, suppressing my ambition, and my spirit began to progress towards being ‘timid and cringing’.”
“At that point, I restrained this emotion in myself and showed behavior that supported the ‘ambition’ emotion.”
“As a result, the hesitation in my spirit became even more pronounced, eventually giving rise to a ‘twisted cruelty,’ an emotion that craved to solve everything with violence.”
“Here’s where things got interesting.”
Lin An gesticulated as he recounted the insights from his experiences, his eyes shining, “Hesitation, ambition, twisted cruelty, they balanced each other out, reaching a delicate equilibrium.”
“Do I look like a timid person? Or an ambitious one? Or a lunatic wanting to wield cruelty?”
Chen Shuyun shook her head, “No, you don’t seem extreme at all!”
“It’s a state of gambling, all intertwined.” Lin An shared with her the theories of Mind Gambit from the Antler Witch Hunter Knights, sharing that sensation of constantly gambling against the spiritual obsession on the Sorcerer Zombie corpse strapped to his armor.
Oh, although for wizards, using Sorcerer Zombie corpses to make armor is a cruel act.
But in reality, both Chen Shuyun and Lin An had long since accepted such cruelty.
Probably because living itself is hard, some things no longer become a matter of principle.
“But…” Chen Shuyun shifted a bit, leaned closer, placed her hand on his chest under his guidance, and felt his Furnace Aura and the surging of his emotions.
“This shouldn’t be, should it?” She pondered with a frown. “Could it be that you have an even more powerful dominating force that allows you to do this?”
“A more powerful dominating force?” Lin An was stunned for a moment.
“Yeah, feel mine.” Chen Shuyun bent her legs, avoiding compressing her chest, inviting Lin An to feel it.
Of course, it wasn’t about letting him touch her inappropriately. The wizard’s emotional aura flowed between the organs, and by pressing against the stomach, all could be clearly felt.
Why would the Supernatural World seek out people to study, to spread theories for others to learn the sophisticated skills they perform? It is largely about finding points of difference on individuals with unique spiritual characteristics.
Lu Jiao did this, Mr. Liu did this, wizards did it too.
“Combine it with the ‘Five Emotions System’ and feel the changes between them…” Chen Shuyun moved Lin An’s hand around. “I know, the extreme states I present are violence and unease, but actually, the operation inside me is balanced, mutually generating and inhibiting, harmonious and natural.”
“On the contrary, what you are using seems more like the skills of a Witch-hunting Knight rather than a wizard.”
“You are disrupting this operation, which is why you say you can digest emotions, and it is also why the witchcraft you perform lacks variation.”
Lin An’s eyes brightened, “No, not disruption, it’s discipline! I understand now, it’s the will! The will of the spirit is disciplining the emotional wildfire, balancing it within the body!”
“???” Chen Shuyun seemed to understand, yet also appeared puzzled, her face full of confusion.
Was that all there was to it?
Lin An looked at her with some excitement, “Interested in hearing about a few interesting cultivation theories?”
“Breathing Skill Furnace, Wizard’s Crucible, Wizard’s Will, Mind Gambit Theory (Tanning Skill), Seven Emotions and Six Desires Theory, Second Furnace Theory, Soul Balancer (Skinning Knife Skill), Mind Balance Curse, The Temporary Hosting of the Mind in the Body Theory (Zhuang’s version)… and the relationship between Five Emotions System Theory, Soft Body Skill, Coffin Sealing Skill, and these subtleties?”
“!!!”
Chen Shuyun was astonished, “How long has it been since I helped you awaken as a wizard? Where did you learn all this?”
Lin An was fully excited, “It all used to be fragmented, but now I’ve suddenly realized the compatibility of the forces of discipline and will, and everything has just come together!”
What followed was Lin An mainly narrating, while Chen Shuyun listened, half understanding, as if being force-fed the information.
This was the difference having spiritual assistance made to brain function—absorbing, summarizing, understanding, and reflecting. Lin An quickly realized the advantage that the spiritual “cheat code” offered. Sometimes he had to stop and carefully explain a detail he had thought was simple to grasp.
That night, they talked until very late.
The cold night wind blew in through the large hole that still lacked windows, and Lin An pulled the blanket off the bed to cover her.
By the time the sky brightened, they had both fallen asleep without noticing.
“An! An! Hurry up and open the door!”
The small boss knocked for a long time, and getting no response, circled around the house to another window, peering in.
“???!!!”
Is there a woman under your blanket, An?
I can’t be mistaken; the shape of the blanket is clearly that of a woman!
Why did you let me see this?
Ahhh~~~
Damn it, I’ve been furiously restraining all my desires, why can you be so casual?
And then, why is your progress so fast and stable, quickly mastering everything you learn?
Is this fair?
This isn’t fair!