I PICKED UP A CHILD IN A DUMPSTER-Chapter 99: Confusion.

"Anyway," he muttered, lifting his head again.

"So it started a few hours ago."

***

(Hours Ago...)

Hyuna stared down at Si Hon, who was still lying comfortably on her lap like a completely oblivious house cat.

Her expression slowly flattened.

"ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ..."

Then she turned her head toward Sarah.

"Why didn’t you tell me?" Hyuna asked slowly.

Sarah froze... "(￣□￣;)...)

That single question carried the kind of quiet danger that made the air in the room feel heavier.

Before Sarah could even answer, Hyuna slowly looked back down at Si Hon again.

This time, the look she gave him was... different.

Not playful.

Not teasing.

Not amused.

It was the kind of look someone might give a suspicious bug they had just discovered crawling across their kitchen floor.

Her eyes narrowed.

Her mood flipped.

Instantly. Like a switch had been violently slammed inside her head.

Then—

Without warning, Hyuna shoved Si Hon off her lap.

TWACK!

He slid right off the bed and landed on the stone floor with a painful smack directly on his ASS.

"Uh... what’s..."

He didn’t even finish the sentence.

Because suddenly— Fire.

A small fireball appeared above Hyuna’s palm.

And then it shot forward.

Straight toward his face.

Si Hon’s half-sleeping brain barely had time to register what was happening before instinct kicked in. His eyes widened and he jerked his body sideways just in time for the fireball to blaze past his cheek and slam into the stone wall behind him with a sharp fwoosh.

For a moment the room was silent.

Then Sarah’s voice exploded.

"W-WAIT!! AUNTY!! What are you doing?!"

Hyuna didn’t even look at her.

Instead, she calmly began chanting again, her fingers curling slightly as heat gathered in her palm once more.

"This mission is classified," she said coldly. "And I thought you had already explained everything to this... definitely ugly guy."

Across the room, Si Hon blinked.

"Uh... guys?"

Above him, the floating chat windows popped into existence again like fireworks.

「Dude she switched personalities WAY too fast LMAO」

「KWHAHAHAHA WHAT IS THIS SITUATION」

「Bro she just called you ugly like the lap pillow didn’t happen earlier」

Before Si Hon could respond—

FWOOOM.

Two fireballs shot toward him at once.

He yelped and scrambled sideways across the stone floor, barely dodging both of them. One of the flames grazed the edge of his hair, singeing a few strands as it blasted past.

Si Hon crouched low, staring at the smoking tips of his hair.

"What the heck..."

His brain still felt like it was wrapped in fog.

"This is probably a dream."

He nodded slowly to himself.

"Yes."

Definitely a dream.

Unfortunately for him—

Hyuna had started chanting again.

But this time, she wasn’t holding back.

The flame above her hand grew.

And grew.

And grew.

Within seconds it had swelled into a massive swirling sphere of fire that illuminated the entire cavern room with violent orange light. The heat alone was enough to make the air shimmer.

"You shall—"

PLOP.

Before the spell could finish, Sarah suddenly launched herself forward from behind.

She tackled Hyuna straight onto the bed.

Both of them bounced against the mattress with a loud whump.

Sarah quickly pinned Hyuna down, grabbing both of her wrists and pressing them against the mattress before she could finish the spell.

The giant fireball above Hyuna’s hand fizzled out immediately.

"Let me go, Sarah!!" Hyuna snapped, glaring up at her. "Our mission is secret!!"

Sarah stared down at her.

Then she shouted—

"NOONA!"

Hyuna froze, completely.

The anger vanished from her face like someone had erased it with a sponge.

Her eyes suddenly sparkled.

"N-Noona...?" she repeated slowly.

Sarah immediately looked away shyly, her cheeks turning red.

"N-noona..." she muttered again quietly.

Hyuna’s expression melted.

Her entire body relaxed instantly.

"Oh... my sweetheart..."

Sarah scratched her cheek awkwardly.

"Actually... it’s kind of my fault," she admitted. "I tried to... actually it’s your fault I tried to tell you earlier that... uh... I didn’t explain the mission to him yet..."

She pointed awkwardly toward Si Hon.

"So... maybe... forgive him?"

Hyuna stared at her for a long moment.

Then she sighed dramatically.

"Fine."

She waved a hand lazily.

"But only under one condition."

The two of them leaned closer together and began whispering to each other.

...

Meanwhile, in the far corner of the room, Si Hon had quietly relocated himself to what felt like the safest available position in the entire room.

He sat there hugging his knees loosely to his chest, back against the cold stone wall, his expression completely flat as he stared into the middle distance.

"(￣-￣)..."

His brain was attempting— very bravely, to process the last few minutes of events. Unfortunately, the effort was being carried out by a mind that had been awake for roughly eight minutes.

Eight extremely confusing minutes.

First he had just woken up.

Then a red-haired woman crawled toward him like some kind of mischievous cat.

Then she used his lap as furniture.

Then she tried to incinerate him.

Si Hon blinked slowly.

"This dream is kind of weird," he muttered under his breath.

He sat there quietly for a few seconds, the thought drifting lazily through his mind.

Then his eyebrows slowly knit together.

"Actually... wait."

His gaze lowered toward the stone floor beneath him as the idea formed.

"This might not be a dream."

That possibility hung in the air for a moment.

He rubbed both hands down his face slowly, dragging his palms across his cheeks like someone trying to reboot a malfunctioning computer.

"But I literally just woke up," he murmured tiredly. "...So my brain is probably cracked, tweaking, actually... I don’t know."

Another pause.

"damn."

The world around him continued existing anyway.

After a minute or so, the soft sound of footsteps approached.

Si Hon lifted his head slightly.

Hyuna and Sarah were now standing in front of him.

The two women looked down at him from above like a pair of authority figures evaluating a very confused stray animal.

Hyuna crossed her arms.

Sarah fidgeted awkwardly beside her.

Then Hyuna began speaking in a very serious tone.

"You are—"

Si Hon blinked.

"going to listen carefully because this is extremely important—"

Si Hon’s eyes slowly lost focus.

"our mission requires absolute sebla, bla, bla, bla—"

His head tilted slightly.

"bla, bla, bla—"

Si Hon squinted faintly.

"Is she saying ’blah blah blah’?"

He glanced upward toward the floating chat windows hovering just above Hyuna’s head.

The glowing comments were already flooding in.

「He’s gone.」

「His brain is gone.」

「he is so High right now..」

Si Hon rubbed his eye tiredly.

"Oh my god."

He stared at the chat window again.

Then slowly looked back at Hyuna, who was still passionately explaining something very important.

"Am I high?"

The chat answered immediately.

「Actually...」

「Yeah you might be high」

「Si Hon just say YES」

Si Hon nodded slowly.

"Yes."

For a moment, the room went quiet. Hyuna stared at him with a complicated expression, like someone trying to decide whether they were dealing with a genius, an idiot, or a man whose brain had simply refused to work.

In the end, she seemed to reach a conclusion of her own, because she suddenly clapped her hands together once with a sharp smack.

"Alright, moving on," she declared briskly, as if nothing strange had happened at all.

Beside her, Sarah straightened instantly and nodded with the seriousness of someone receiving an important military order.

And just like that... Sarah walked up to the mascot hanging on the wall, pulled it down carefully, and unzipped the back of the costume. Without hesitation, she stepped inside, wiggling slightly as she pulled the large mascot suit over her body until the round head settled into place. A moment later, the mascot straightened and adjusted its stance— now very clearly Sarah inside it.

And just like that—

Hyuna paused and held her chin.

Sarah sat there inside the Mascot.

Si Hon sat there quietly, still hugging his knees.

No one spoke for a few seconds.

Then—

BOOM.

The cavern door suddenly exploded open.

The sound echoed violently through the stone chamber.

Several large figures burst into the room at once.

Munches.

Tall.

Massive.

Fur-covered.

And extremely angry.

Si Hon slowly turned his head to look at them.

"Oh."

Before he could say anything else, two of the creatures grabbed him under the arms and lifted him straight off the floor like someone picking up a mildly inconvenient piece of furniture.

"Uh—"

Another one grabbed his legs.

"...ಠ⁠,⁠_⁠｣⁠ಠ"

And then—

They dragged him out of the room.

Hyuna blinked.

Sarah blinked.

The door slammed shut behind them.

The room fell silent again.

Meanwhile—

Si Hon was carried through several twisting cavern corridors by what felt like a very uncooperative group of gorilla-shaped security guards.

He didn’t struggle.

He didn’t scream.

He didn’t even protest.

He simply hung there in their grip with the same neutral expression.

"(￣-￣)"

A few minutes later, they reached the prison block.

The Munches tossed him into the same stone cell he had been in yesterday prolly.

CLANG.

The iron door slammed shut.

The creatures walked away.

Silence returned.

Hours later...

Si Hon was still sitting in the exact same spot.

Back against the wall.

Arms resting on his knees.

Staring forward.

"ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ..."

After a long pause, he sighed quietly.

"Well."

Above him, the chat windows slowly began popping back into existence again.

One by one.

Like spectators returning to their seats after a brief intermission.

「Dumbass...」

「Why did you say Yes.」

「Fastest return to prison I’ve ever seen」

Si Hon leaned his head back against the cold stone wall.

"ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ... one of you guys said I should say Yes."