I Refused To Be Reincarnated-Chapter 644: Emerald Eyes and a Radiant Smile

The following day, the blaring alarm resounded twice, followed by Elena’s commands.

Julius leapt to his feet when he heard the first, but Asha and Arun’s gentle gazes prompted him to sit down.

’Don’t think about what you can’t control for the next two days. Focus on yourself before focusing on others.’

He reminded himself, crossing his legs and closing his eyes. Slowly, he absorbed life force into his meridians, the soothing sensation helping him mitigate his insecurities.

Matters related to the mind were complex, and now that he experienced them, he remembered Adam’s struggles.

Unwilling to worry him, he had cut himself from the outside world for months to recover. He had been worried sick, but now that Louise suffered because of his warped emotions, he understood his choice.

But he was also different. Many friends supported him when Adam never shared his burdens with anyone. What kind of mental fortitude did he have?

’Could I match it one day?’

He knew Shepard and Elena had high expectations, but surpassing him? It felt unfair. After all, Adam was his dazzling big brother who worked relentlessly to improve himself. If not for his physical limitations, he had no doubt Adam would have been an arcanist much more powerful than Shepard. But he was gone...

His fists tightened, his fingers digging into his legs. Then, they loosened as he remembered Adam’s trust and encouragement. That was all he had ever needed to move forward and what he would use to fix his mind.

As the sun dipped below the horizon and rose again, despite the alarm’s noises and the thickening stench of blood seeping through the windows, he re-lived his memories and imprinted Adam’s words in his heart as if they were mantras.

Slowly, guilt lost its crushing hold until his eyes fluttered open—as clear as a calm lake. He gazed at Arun, who, seated at his desk, frowned over a grimoire.

"How many days have passed?"

Surprised to hear his voice, Arun snapped his face toward him. His lip curled into a bright smile as he raised his thumb. "Three days. We’ve crossed the southern borders and left that sea of death. And guess what? Ever since we did, that hateful alarm never rang. We made it!"

He approached as he saw his friend sigh in relief. "Are you feeling better?"

"Thanks to you and the others." Julius nodded, then hesitated for a second.

Before he could ask, Arun cut him off. "Shepard and Zeph suffered injuries yesterday but almost recovered using potions. No one we knew died, so don’t burden yourself."

He moved to the door and winked. "Louise woke up, too. Asha has been monitoring her condition, so let’s grab something to eat before you starve and visit them."

The relief washed away Julius’ anxiety, and the mention of food instantly caused his stomach to grumble. With a sharp nod, he accompanied Arun to the cafeteria.

After devouring a large piece of steaming magical beast’s meat, he went to the infirmary.

The moment the door creaked open, a stench struck his scrunching nostrils. It was as if rotting medicine melded with decaying corpses and faeces—a truly vicious stench that forced him to cover his nose with his shirt.

However, the sight was worse—much worse. Three days ago, most beds were filled with wounded mages, but now?

Sheets covered the ground, their whiteness coated under dried bloodstains. He bit his lip as he saw tragic teenagers sprawled over them. Some had lost their limbs, while others had their faces lacerated by sharp talons into something horrifying.

Medical team members scurried around, their pale faces and dark circles under their eyes showing how overwhelmed they were.

As a regretful shudder jolted his shoulders, Arun’s warm hands met them as he whispered. "There’s nothing you could have done."

Julius lingered for a moment before he sighed. "I know... I’m just sad. If so many suffered wounds, how many more died?"

"That’s life." Arun nudged him inside. "Try not to think about it. It’ll only hinder your recovery."

He passed by hundreds of wounded before reaching the bed furthest from the entrance. Fresh wind filtered from the window, ruffling Asha’s brown hair and mitigating the stench slightly.

On the bed, he saw Louise’s clear torso wrapped in bandages, and... the stump replacing her right arm. Yet, it was her emerald eyes that hurt the most. Why were they still sparkling? Why were her lips curling? Didn’t she resent him?

"Asha told me you visited when I was unconscious. I’m so glad I can see you now," Louise chirped, her delighted voice slicing him like a blazing knife. freeωebnovēl.c૦m

He dropped on the chair, covering his pale face. "I-I’m sorry you lost your arm. It was my fault..."

Slender fingers raised his chin, cutting him off and forcing him to look her in the eyes.

"I lost it because I was careless. But can I complain? Many died or are about to, so what’s an arm?" Her face burned as she continued. "But brushing death has its advantages, Julius. It cleared my eyes on what truly mattered."

Asha clenched her trembling fists, nodding approvingly and giving Louise a firm, determined gaze that spoke for itself. ’Say it, sister!’

"I love you, Julius. I always did since you saved our caravan three years ago." Louise’s radiant smile brightened the room for a moment.

"I know..."

Julius sighed, placing his guilt aside to focus purely on his feelings for her. Though a little older than him, Louise was a nice girl. Her unwavering courage and determination to protect her friends had always impressed him even if she had always acted shy around him. He didn’t know if he loved her, but his feelings were favorable and worth exploring.

Faced with her expectant gaze and Asha’s eager glare, he smiled softly. "We’re still young, Louise. Let’s spend more time together before making any big decisions."

Louise’s smile broadened as she hugged him, her voice a satisfied whisper. "Thank you for giving me a chance. I’m sure you’ll understand soon how deep and genuine my love is."

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