I Shall Cuck Everyone-Chapter 403: Tastathon

Everyone alighted from the vehicle. Jake glanced around the mansion, his first time seeing it after completion. When they'd bought it, the place was still under renovation.

"Money is sooo good, honey~" Misty said playfully, adjusting Jake's clothes.

Jake raised a brow. "I forgot to ask—did you quit your job? And did you ever find out who put that Billycock thing on you?"

Misty rubbed her temples. "Yeah, I stopped working there. As for the Billycock… it was a coworker. He got pissed when I turned him down back then. Then he found out I was marrying my brother and decided to mess with me."

Jake's face darkened. "Who's the bastard?"

"I—I already forgave him, Jake. I'm only telling you because I didn't want to lie. Please don't kill him… Mom, talk to him," Misty pleaded, glancing at Jill.

Jill just raised her hands in surrender, silently backing out.

Jake exhaled. "Fine. I won't do anything—since you insist. But why did you quit? I know how much you love being a healer."

"Well… I do love my job. But I left for a lot of reasons. Let's not even talk about the stereotypes I face just for being a vampire. On top of that, I want to focus on staying healthy during the pregnancy. But most of all… I want to move to our home planet. Aurora agrees with me," Misty admitted.

Jake blinked. "Wait, you mea—"

Before he could finish, Aurora suddenly started pushing him toward the main building.

"Misty, you backstabbing traitor! We agreed to tell him together after he rested!" Aurora barked, still shoving him forward.

Once inside, Jake was greeted by several uniformed workers standing in the lounge. A tall vampire with long black hair and a thick mustache stepped forward, bowing respectfully.

"Welcome home, Master," the man said. His suit looked freshly pressed and molded perfectly to his frame, like he was born to wear it.

"This is Liam, our butler," Aurora introduced. "One of the most skilled out there. He's got sharp tactical instincts and strength comparable to a vampire lord—or even higher."

Jake gave a nod. "I see. I'll test that strength later."

He climbed the spiral staircase that led upstairs. At the top, he entered the living room—and paused.

Eyes.

Hungry eyes.

Hayes, Anne, Vera, Elza, and Blair were all standing there, staring at him like predators sizing up prey. Jill, Misty, Aurora, and Stella joined them, and every single one of them locked eyes on him.

Jake looked around, confused. "You guys aren't happy to see me?"

Without warning, they all lunged at him, dragging him into a chaotic group hug.

"You idiot husband!"

"How dare you show your face after all this time?!"

"I've missed you, idiot!"

The chaos lasted several minutes, until Jake was on the verge of collapse.

'Fuck this… why am I being beaten up instead of smothered in love?' Jake groaned inwardly, struggling to catch his breath.

{You deserved to be tied to a stake instead, Master!}

Eventually, Jake pulled himself away from the chaos and raised his hands. "Alright, alright, calm down. I know you're all mad at me. But listen—I've been searching for the body I promised Amber."

That shut them up. They all glanced at one another silently.

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Amber—the one who sometimes took over Misty's body—they all knew her. And they knew what that promise meant.

"We're sorry for not asking why it took you so long," they apologized in unison.

"It's fine," Jake waved it off.

"D-Did you get it?" Misty asked, her eyes lighting up. Jake gave a nod, and instantly, Misty's eyes widened—then she dashed out of the living room like a blur.

Jake walked over to the mirror, feeling stings on his face. The moment he saw his reflection, it all made sense.

'Swollen eyes… and they're not healing. That was Ki. Which one of them landed the hit?' he thought, glancing at his women. But they all acted completely normal, like the bumps on his face didn't exist.

'Tch. They planned this. Damn it, I let my guard down thinking I was safe.' Jake clenched his jaw, then sighed. As much as it stung—he knew he had it coming. After everything, a punch to the face was probably getting off easy.

Jill strolled over, eyeing the wounds on his face. She gently touched one of the bumps and rubbed her fingers over it.

"They were really pissed. I'm surprised they managed to actually hurt you," she said, still massaging his face. The swelling was already starting to fade.

"Yeah… guess I deserved it," Jake chuckled, sinking into her soft touch.

"Have you seen Blair, Vera, Anne, and Hayes' stomachs yet?" Jill asked.

Jake's eyes darted to them—and then he saw it. They were all visibly heavily pregnant.

He froze.

His hands slowly curled into fists.

'This… this is exactly why I avoided having kids in my past life. I knew I wouldn't have time for them. Just like with Xander. I barely spend time with her. And now—' Jake clenched his fists harder. 'No. I'm not letting history repeat itself. I'm going to make this right.'

Jill noticed his reaction and gave his shoulder a reassuring pat. "It's going to be okay. You might want to consider bringing us all to the vampire planet. At least there, we have control—and the support of the Cat Clan and Dark Elves. Just… think about it."

Before he could respond, Blair and Vera tugged him away into another part of the mansion. It was the dining room—but the word dining room didn't even do it justice. The table stretched across the space like it belonged in a royal banquet hall, and every inch of it was covered in dishes. It looked like a whole culinary competition was going down.

"Hehehe, si—master. We all made something for you. And you're going to taste everything," Elza beamed, stepping forward and proudly pushing a ceramic plate toward him.

Jake blinked at the thing squirming on the plate.

"What… is this?"

"It's a demon dish!" Elza grinned from ear to ear. "My father taught me how to make it."

Jake suddenly understood why the others said she was creepy. Her goth aesthetic was already intense—but the way she smiled while serving up a pulsing, slimy creature? That sealed it.

He stared at the dish, his stomach turning, and picked up a knife to slice it.

"NO!" Elza suddenly shouted. "You have to eat it alive, master! If you cut it, it loses all its flavor!"

She wasn't joking.

Jake gritted his teeth, muttered a silent prayer to the gods of digestion, and clamped his mouth over the squirming creature.

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