Ihoujin, Dungeon ni Moguru-Chapter 176: Epilogue

Five minutes after I had crawled into bed to get some sleep, I was shaken awake by Lanseal.

The Adventurers' Guild had sent a message to me, telling me to come as quickly as possible.

Half-asleep, I was dragged through the city in the wee hours of the morning by Lanseal. Along the way, I was attacked by several adventurers, whom I defeated without holding back.

Am I a metal slime or something?

I'm sorry, but I'm not going to give out fame or experience that easily.

Perhaps my grumpiness from the lack of sleep and my lack of mercy was palpable, but I only had to deal with two such attacks before I arrived at the Guild.

「Souya, please straighten up. I'll be waiting for you outside. If you're still drowsy, shall I give you a kiss to wake you up?」

「Please don't」

There was a relatively large number of early-morning adventurers, and I already stood out enough as it was just by being with Lanseal, so I didn't want to cause any more weird misunderstandings to arise.

That and somewhere else would wake up.

I waved goodbye lazily as we parted ways. Upon entering the Guild, the stares from the other adventurers grew even more intent. Curiosity, hostility, skepticism, malice, and a little bit of envy.

Unfortunately for them, anyone who spills blood inside the Guild would be heavily punished. Those strong enough to be fine after violating that rule would hardly have been interested in me in the first place.

The leader of the fastest party to become advanced adventurers.

A foreigner who plays at being a merchant and makes a small fortune using his knowledge from the foreign lands.

He's married to an elven princess, and rumor has it that he's also involved with her younger sister. He's on good terms with the king's illegitimate daughter, and on top of having the father of adventurers in his party, he also has a very promising swordsman and a divine medium as party members.

That Dragon Scale knight who had died leaving his mark in history had also been in his party.

I don't blame them for thinking that I've risen through the ranks through sheer luck, money, and deceit, and have no real skills. Even I would be suspicious if I saw someone like me around.

But if anyone comes at me, I'll crush them with the restraint befitting an advanced adventurer.

I can never let myself be defeated by a lower-ranked adventurer.

If I were to be defeated, I'd have failed to live up to the standards set by the other advanced adventurers. This is a "rank" that other people had put their lives on the line to obtain. This tradition is not something that I should tarnish.

「Get out of my way」

I glared back at them, making the beastkin who was blocking my path back away.

Maybe they were his party, but about five people hurriedly made way for me. It rippled down the crowd, and 10 or 20 more people moved out of my way.

A clear path leading to the reception desk had opened up before me.

I felt like Moses as I strolled past with ease.

After sitting down on the chair in front of the reception desk, I gave one of the Guild employees nearby a look.

I waited for my person-in-charge.

My new person-in-charge.

「………………Haaa」

It's probably going to be the Guild President anyway. That's kinda depressing. That guy doesn't like me. He's definitely not going to be as helpful as Evetta-san. He'll also not do the job properly. This sucks.

「Haaa」

「What? How rude of you to do that as soon as you see my face」

「It’s nothing」

As I expected, the Guild President, a white-skinned boy with small wings on his back, appeared before me.

He didn't sit down in the chair, but looked down at me as he spoke.

「Do you hate it so much? I'll have you know, Evetta begged me to do it, so I had no choice but to take on this responsibility. I'm not happy about it either」

「Then why don't you just quit?」

「Then I'll just quit」

The Guild President left.

「Huh?」

That's it?

Eh, what about my new person-in-charge?

「Hey~」

I had no other choice but to fold and wave him back. f𝚛e𝗲𝔀e𝚋𝑛o𝘃𝒆𝗹.c𝗼𝒎

The Guild President was talking to a short, silver-haired child. She was wearing work clothes that were about two sizes too big for her. The profile of the child's face resembled that of the little girl version of Lanseal that I had seen in the past.

Well, it's probably just my imagination. I'm sleepy and tired after all.

「That's how it is. Do it yourself. You can still read documents and do paperwork without any problems, right?」

「―――――!?――――!!」

The little girl got angry at the Guild President.

Oh, I've also witnessed a scene like this once before.

「You promised! This is not what you promised!」

She was hammering her fists on the Guild President.

Actually, that looks kinda painful That little girl has some nice punches. She could probably aim for the world with that left she's got.

「It's too much trouble. Do it yourself」

The Guild President picked the little girl up from behind and carried her over to me.

「Left go of me~!」

She had a cute voice with a lisp.

The Guild President forcibly placed her into the chair facing me.

For some reason, the little girl hid her face with both hands.

「Here you go, Souya. Your person-in-charge」

「Ehh? Isn't that too much to ask of her?」

She looks to be about seven or eight years old. She can't possibly do the job. For them to make a child like this work, is there something wrong with the Adventurers' Guild's management policy?

「It, it's not too much for me though」

That's what she says, but it’s probably impossible for a little girl.

But it's better than the Guild President. I doubt she's going to be of much help when it comes to my adventures, but I don't think she will hinder them either. Above all, she's cute to look at. She makes me smile.

Rather, I wish I could get a proper look at her face.

If she seems promising, oh no, that's the kind of thing a certain baldy would think. I'm not thinking about the Tale of Genji, alright?[1] I'm not a pedo. I'm not a lolicon either. I simply have a fondness for cute things, that's all.

「Little lady, what's your name?」

When I put on a smile and asked her that……

「Sooya, that's creepy」

……I was told that I was being creepy.

It was quite a shock.

I had always thought that I was somewhat good with kids though……

「Is the reason why you're oddly affectionate towards children because you have that kind of preference? You're so creepy」

The Guild President also called me creepy, but I didn't particularly care.

I couldn't care less what he thinks.

「Ummm, here, little lady, a gesture of goodwill」

I took out a honey candy and offered it to the little girl.

There's surely no child who doesn't like sweets.

「I don't eat food when I'm at work」

She said that in a huff and turned away. But then, in one swift motion, she slipped the candy into her pocket.

What a shrewd little thing you are.

「Evetta, don't eat while you're on the job」

「I won’t」

「Bear with it」

「I said I won’t. I'll only take small nibbles」

「That's not bearing with it, now is it?」

Unable to bear it any longer, the little girl peeled off the paper wrapper and started nibbling on the candy. She was chomping on it like a squirrel. Rather than taking small nibbles, she was eating it in earnest.

Well, that's not really the way to eat candy though.

「………………………………Hmm?」

I was so sleepy that I was hearing things.

「What did you just say, Guild President?」

「”That's not enduring it, now is it?” I said」

「That's not it! Take the hint!」

「Why the heck are you snapping at me all of a sudden?」

I haven't gotten enough sleep! I can't think straight!

「What’s the name of this lovely little lady?!」

「It's Evetta. What else could it be?」

When I took a closer look at Evetta-chan as she chewed on the candy, I noticed that she had a single horn on her forehead in the same place as the late Evetta-san.

Just like the one on the Faceless King's mask, this single horn grew out diagonally to the right.

It's only about a tenth of the length of Evetta-san's, but it's definitely the horn of a Horns.

In other words, this means that………………what the heck does it mean?!

「Gasp!」

I had passed out for a second because it was more than what my brain could handle.

This goes to show how important it is to get enough sleep.

「Hey, Evetta. Explain yourself. Or rather, did you explain it to him?」

「I did explain, I did. I told him about my lifespan」

That "I did" sure is cute~. This cute girl can't be Evetta-san.

「If you did, then why does this guy have that look of utter confusion on his face?」

「Who knows?」

Evetta-chan tilted her head.

I see, I don't understand. [2]

「Could it be………Souya, have you perhaps misunderstood something at a fundamental level?」

「Huh? Eh?」

My head was spinning.

Should I be happy about this? Is this some kind of false hope?

「The lifespan that Evetta spoke of refers to her lifespan as an employee of the Adventurers' Guild. Horns look at the word "lifespan" differently from humans. That said, she can still do paperwork, so it's really her【lifespan as an employee of the Adventurers' Guild who does adventuring work】that we're talking about here」

「O, oh」

What should I do, I'm not understanding a word he's saying.

「And what you've misunderstood is that Evetta becoming like this is something that happens periodically」

What did you say?

No no no no no no no, that can't be right.

「But Guild President, didn't we confirm her death?」

After clearing the city of ghosts, I had entrusted her body, which had grown cold, to the Guild President. She had no pulse, and her heart had stopped beating. There had been no pupil response either.

I had checked as well, but she was definitely dead.

「Horns are creatures that undergo periodic death and rebirth. Among them, Evetta is unique. Unlike the Horns inside the dungeon, her cycles are a lot longer. Besides, it's already been five years since she grew into an adult. The time before that, she entered the cycle after about four years of adulthood. She has actually set a new record for her longest active period this time round」

Yup, I still don't get it.

But I have a question.

「Then, this Evetta-chan before me will become Evetta-san in time? Because it's the same person?」

「That's right. Give her a year, or maybe six months, and she'll be the Evetta she was before. Her memories should be mostly intact as well」

No way.

As the gears inside my exhausted brain started to click into place, I remembered what Evetta-san had said.

『Among the Horns, I've lived the longest, and to be honest, it wouldn't be a surprise if my body gave out at any time』

In other words, when she talked about how she had lived the longest, she was referring to the time she had spent as an adult, and that Horns are creatures that die and come back to life at regular intervals? Certainly, the Horns inside the dungeon do die and come back to life regularly.

「Using the reason of "After I become completely useless, I'll be too ashamed to show my face", Evetta forced the job on me. Well, since you hate it so much, there's no reason for me to go along with it, right?」

「Right!」

I replied in high spirits.

Because of the lack of sleep, I'm feeling weirdly fired up.

Now then,

「Evetta-chan」

「Y, yes?」

「Why didn't you explain it properly to me? I thought you had died and I was seriously in shock. I wound up wandering around late at night because of it, you know? I became a bit of an invalid, you know?」

「I, I’m sorry」

Her dejected face is so cute, so I've decided to not pursue this any further!

「Well then, Guild President, there's no need to change my person-in-charge」

「Don’t come complaining to me afterwards」

「There's no way I would have any complaints about such a cute girl. But if there's something I don't understand, I'll ask you. I'll bombard you with questions. I'll pursue you wherever you run」

「What a pain」

「It's your job, isn't it? Just bear with it」

「It’s a pain」

That's dereliction of duty, asshole.

Putting that bum aside……

「Evetta-chan, come here」

I patted my lap.

「Ehhh」

Was her reaction.

「I still have lots of candy～」

「Gulp」

After becoming smaller, she's become easier to lure with food. Oh, I have one question.

「Guild President, I've got a question for you already」

「What is it, you troublesome adventurer?」

「Who's taking care of Evetta-chan?」

「Huhh? She's become like that, but she can still take care of herself. She's done that every time in the past, so there's no problem」

「There is!」

There's a problem! How could you leave such a small child alone, especially in the alternate world where there’s so much danger around?

「I see, I understand now. I'll raise her」

『Huhh?』

The Guild President and Evetta-chan raised their voices at the same time.

「I'll raise her into a full-fledged lady. I'll take into account the nutritional needs and balance of her diet, and make sure she has big breasts! I'll teach her to be sociable and have an engaging personality! I'll give her lots of lessons while she's young, and show her that there's more to cooking than just eating! What do you think, Guild President? There's no problem, right?!」

「There's nothing but problems. Don't just casually take in Guild employees. We'll be suspected of colluding with you」

「That is that, and this is this. There you have it, Evetta-chan. Come live in my home」

「Eh? Eh?」

I took Evetta-chan's hand.

Alright, I've got a new daughter.

「Sol, this person is scary」

「Hey guys~, one of our employees is about to be kidnapped by this advanced adventurer-sama. Gather around~」

At a word from the Guild President, the employees of the Adventurers' Guild surrounded me.

Oh well, I guess it can't be helped.

Sometimes, there are things that a man simply cannot compromise on.

They had attacked me from all sides and had not held back at all.

When I regained consciousness at home, a long lecture from the women was waiting for me.

To cap it all off, the king issued the following.

＜End＞

[1] The Tales of Genji(源氏物語, Genji Monogatari) is a classic work of Japanese literature written in the early 11th century by the noblewoman and lady-in-waiting Murasaki Shikibu. The work recounts the life of Hikaru Genji, or "Shining Genji", who is the son of an ancient Japanese emperor(known to readers as Emperor Kiritsubo) and a low-ranking concubine called Kiritsubo Consort. For political reasons, the emperor removes Genji from the line of succession, demoting him to a commoner by changing his surname to Minamoto. The tales concentrate on Genji's romantic life and describes the customs of the aristocratic society of the time. You may have read the modern adaptation, Minamoto-kun Monogatari, by Minori Inaba.

Anyway, the reference here is to one of the tales where Genji visits Kitayama, a rural hilly area north of Kyoto, where he finds a beautiful ten-year-old girl. He’s fascinated by this little girl(Murasaki), and discovers that she’s the niece of Lady Fujitsubo. He kidnaps her, brings her to his own palace and educates her to be like Lady Fujitsubo, who is his womanly ideal. During this time Genji also meets Lady Fujitsubo secretly, and she bears his son, Reizei. Everyone except the two lovers believes the father of the child is the Emperor Kiritsubo. Later the boy becomes the Crown Prince and Lady Fujitsubo becomes the Empress, but Genji and Lady Fujitsubo swear to keep the child's true parentage secret.

[2] This phrase is an oxymoron formed by mashing together the phrases of “I see(I understand)” and “I don’t get it(I don’t understand)”. It’s a phrase that first popped up on 2chan and spread elsewhere that’s meant to express incomprehension while appearing to be convinced. It often comes after long explanations to mean “I still don’t get it”. Why am I going into such detail for this, you ask? Well, this won’t be the only time Souya uses this.

If you play gacha games on the regular, you should get the metal slime reference, I believe. For those who don’t, it’s fairly common for metallic slimes to be daily/weekly/periodic bosses for players to grind for massive amounts of either exp or currency.

Of course a volume that was doom and gloom for most of it would have a happy(?) ending. It’s this author after all. Did you read the explanation for [1] before you read the ending? That seriously made it 10x funnier. Still, community service for attempted kidnapping? That boxing reference also made me chuckle. There’s also a hidden oreimo reference too.

Well, that was a fun ride, wasn’t it? This volume had so many ups and downs, and I really enjoyed it. I hope you did too! See you next volume!

By the way, check out the custom cover I made, I’m quite happy with how this one turned out.

As a reminder, I compile ebooks for my patrons so that they can enjoy the story offline, so I would really appreciate it if you would consider supporting me on Patreon. Thank you so much!