Kingdom Building: Civilization Starts with Divinity-Chapter 104: Mental Destruction

"Then... Meditation is a catalyst." Alchemy answered.

Gravana gave her a curious look.

"A catalyst? For what?"

"It depends on the purpose. Self-reflection, calming, pondering, reaching enlightenment, praying. What isn’t it a catalyst for? Ultimately, it is a state in which absolute focus is placed on yourself, isn’t it? Be it the problems you face or weaknesses that you have." Alchemy shrugged.

"There was someone I knew in the past. A very weird guy, for sure. He always said that reaching enlightenment wasn’t about living as an aestheticist or following someone else’s guidebook. Instead, he thought that being your truest self was the only way to reach such an endpoint." She continued on.

Alchemy spoke as if she was prepared for this question. As if it was asked of her a dozen times.

"So that’s what I see meditation as. A catalyst to find your truest self."

Granvana’s eyes widened as he failed to find the words to respond. Alchemy’s knowledge did seem sporadic as she seemed to understand very complex topics yet lacked a lot of common sense.

He didn’t imagine that she’d have such a deep understanding of spiritualism.

But danger was such an appealing thing.

"Grahahaha! What a funny friend you have! I bet all those wandering monks would be hunting him to the ends of the Earth."

’Oh, so Buddhism is a thing here as well? At least something adjacent to it."

"He’d... Probably be hunted by just about every religious organization, not just the monks." Alchemy agreed.

"Well, lucky for you, Enlightenment isn’t our goal. We’re looking for something just a bit short of that. Are you ready to begin?"

Alchemy nodded without a word. She was just as Curious about what gains she’d get from learning to meditate as Gravana was.

"From this point forward, you will only respond when I ask a question. Close your eyes. Listen for your heartbeat."

She did as her teacher said. She didn’t immediately understand what he meant by listening to her own heartbeat, so she started by feeling it.

Unfortunately, even that was difficult to do on command.

’One step at a time. Don’t rush it.’ She mused silently.

Her feet and legs which rested atop the other, her arms that fell to her sides, and her hands dropped below the top of the tree she rested on. Her eyelids guarding her eyes from the light. The blood that gave her skin pigment.

Slowly, she felt it all. Even slower, the feeling closed in on her torso until all that was left was her heart.

One beat. Two beats. Three beats. Rhythmically, it continued to beat as a heart should. Perhaps a bit slower than usual, but Alchemy’s resting heart rate has always been a little slow.

Although it did not make a proper sound, she could still begin to hear the rhythm of her heart. The odd sensation lit up her face slightly.

"Good. Now, feel the air around you that allows you to breathe. The ground that lets you run, jump, and rest. The sun that gives you light to see and the clamor of busy workers."

Alchemy took a deep breath. As she followed along with Gravana’s voice, the opposite of what should happen did.

The more she focused on the different aspects around her—the mossy ground that tickled her feet, the rough log that so kindly gave her a seat, the dismantling, and building from her Sylvan Carvers and Granitects...

The harder it was to notice any of them. Different senses were being used, yet they blended into one feeling—almost like a collective emotion rather than information sent from her senses to her brain.

"Think of the place you find most familiar and the emotions that come with it. What do you see?"

Her mind drifted idly as Alchemy attempted to find the place she was most familiar with—her room, a secret spot under the bridge of her city that she and her sisters would hide under when one of them got in trouble.

Eventually, however, her mind landed on a library.

Without the need to open her eyes, rows of books appeared in her vision. So many that she couldn’t see the end of them. They were endless.

Infinite.

"Books. Thousands of them, millions perhaps." Alchemy responded.

"And the place you felt the safest."

Her mind was suddenly pulled out of the limitless hall of books and dragged into a crowded city. Someone bumped into her without turning back.

The scent of coffee and warm pretzels assaulted her senses. It hadn’t been long since she left her old world, but the vivid reminder that she was no longer there made her chest tighten.

She felt the rough strap of a bag digging into her shoulder. It was filled with something, most likely study material or her latest haul of JRPGs. Both were equally likely.

Alchemy looked around. She was by a crosswalk with possibly hundreds of others as they waited for the go-ahead. 𝒻𝑟ℯℯ𝑤𝑒𝑏𝑛𝘰𝓋𝑒𝓁.𝒸𝑜𝘮

"What do you see?"

Alchemy thought about it for a moment.

"Roads... And people. Lots of people."

As she spoke, the walk signal changed in her favor, and the crowd began to move. People walked in all directions, herself included.

"And how do you feel?"

She increased her pace as the crowd pushed her along. Even the asphalt of the roads under her feet felt familiar.

Countless people brushed past her; their faces were vague and indistinct, almost like smudged paint on a canvas. But among them, one face stood out. A stranger to her, smiling warmly as they handed Alchemy a flyer.

She looked at it, an advertisement for a local cafe. She couldn’t read its name, but it had the symbol of the moon in its first quarter, revealing only half of its radiance.

"Nostalgic," Alchemy answered.

"And what was your greatest moment?"

Alchemy’s mind froze, and everything went dark.

In the distance, countless points in her life played in front of her.

The first time her father praised her, the time she hit rank 1, the first time she saved someone’s life...

Her mind constricted like something was trying to crush it.

Pain began to rush through her entire body, and her eyes were forced open.

|<Notice: Abnormal status detected.>|

|<Notice: Cannot determine cause.>|

|<Notice: Mental debuff confirmed. Immediate stabilization impossible.>|

Alchemy fell to the ground as her mind and heart felt like they were about to shatter. She groaned while using every fiber of being not to scream in agony.

Her greatest moment? What greatest moment? She never had a greatest moment. Images of the past filled her vision constantly, the good and bad merging together as everyone became one.

|<Notice: Mental Destruction has begun.>|

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