Leanna-Chapter 218: [Epilogue 2]

[Zoe’s POV]

[Epilogue 2]

Sounds of raindrops and gentle rustling trees made a wonderful night of sleep. The glowing moon stayed hidden beneath the dark clouds looming over the skies, bathing everything in complete tranquil darkness with only the faint lights of the street lamps and neighborhood stayed blinking like stars.

I sighed and rubbed my belly without thought.

It was a year since Lawrence finished his degree and became one of the pillars of support of VIOS, the leading software and game development company around the globe.

As we promised, we toured around the world with our motorhome.

And every day was bliss.

The first time I saw Lawrence, it was infatuation.

The second time, it was love.

And now, he became my other half.

An existence I could no longer live without.

"Hey, why are you dress so little? Put on some more clothes. It’s cold."

Like an automatic response, my lips curved into a smile. I retracted my gaze outside the window and stared at him with contentment and . . . guilt.

It was four years since we got together, Lawrence’s face stayed the same, not aging one bit. The only thing that changed was his physique. He grew tall as in six foot two inches taller while I was stuck in my ever so fantastic height of five foot six inches. Aside from it, he grew bigger, but not in the bulky fat kind of way, but the sexy-lean-muscle kind of way.

Lawrence covered me with his jacket before he sat beside me. He scooped me and placed me on his lap.

Poofy, our grey Maine coon cat, jumped off from my lap. He shook his fur before he contented himself on his bed beside our couch.

"What’s wrong?" he asked when he noticed my quietness.

I snuggled closer to him, needing his warmth. I shook my head as I closed my eyes. Too guilty and disheartened to look at him.

Lawrence didn’t say anything. He held me closer and kissed my hair, rocking me gently in his arms. This was his way of comforting me, and it always worked like magic.

He filled me with warmth. With attention. With love.

Not long after, I was calm.

"What’s that?" I groaned when I heard a car’s engine.

"It’s probably Elliot. Come on. Go and get dress. I’ll greet him first."

I collected myself and walked into our room to dress more appropriately since I was just wearing my panties and Lawrence’s oversized shirt. My usual get-up at home.

----

"Hi. Long-time no see." Lawrence extended his hand, which Elliot shook with a smile.

Although they were once rival in love, neither one held animosity towards each other for the reason they both genuinely love Zoe and would tolerate anyone the girl loves.

"Nice place," Elliot commented when he entered after he brushed off the raindrops from his hair and removed his coat before taking a step inside the motorhome.

"Thanks." Lawrence grinned. "Elliot, I have something to show you."

Before Elliot could ask what was going on, Lawrence already went into the living area. Elliot followed, and soon after, a frown crumpled his handsome face.

Elliot was a calm and good-natured man who rarely showed anything but a smile on his face. But even he couldn’t help but grimaced and glared at Lawrence.

Lawrence showed Elliot a picture and a piece of paper carefully and intricately framed –– Lawrence and Zoe’s wedding picture and their marriage certificate.

After Lawrence graduated, he and Zoe got married. It was a secret and straightforward wedding in Lawrence’s home country. A backyard wedding in their house where only the closest people in their lives were invited. But unfortunately, Elliot couldn’t make it.

Lawrence grinned with a smug face while Elliot scowled at him. Eventually, Elliot managed a smile that appeared like a sneer while controlling the twitching of his eyebrows.

"C-congratulations . . . ," Elliot said through gritted teeth.

"What are you two boys doing?"

----

After I put on my sweatshirt and trousers, I left our bedroom only to find the two men with sparks flying between them.

"What are you two boys doing?"

I asked and hugged Elliot.

"Elliot! It’s been a while! I miss you!" I exclaimed.

It was four years since I last saw him in person. Though we have something in the past, it didn’t mean we’re no longer friends. We still stayed in touch even after that happened.

"I miss you too . . . It’s so good to see you again." Elliot hugged me back. I got to say he got taller.

"Come on. The food was already ready a while ago. I thought you couldn’t make it with all this rain and all." I pulled his hand and guided him towards the dining area.

"How can that be? Even it’ll hail and snow, I’ll still come and see you," Elliot teased, which I giggled in response and served him food while Lawrence was the one who served the food on my plate.

He let me and Elliot catch up, occasionally joining in the conversation. Lawrence was never the jealous type, to begin with, and Elliot was the last person he should feel insecure about.

After a while of catching up, laughing, and joking around, Elliot’s face turned serious as he stared at me with worried eyes.

"Zoe . . . , how are you?"

". . ."

". . ."

I was caught off guard by his sudden question.

I breathed a mouthful of air while Lawrence gripped my hand on the table, gently squeezing it. I glanced at him and smiled, yet my smile didn’t reach my eyes before I met Elliot’s worried gaze.

"Honestly, I don’t even know what the state I’m in . . . I’m glad Lawrence is here with me, and . . . he continues to stay . . ." My voice turned brittle in the last part.

"What are you even saying? Of course, I’ll be here for you. I’ll be with you forever, no matter what. We’ll face this together. We are husband and wife now." Lawrence’s voice was calm and warm, yet determined and unyielding, which made me feel a little better.

Elliot reached and held my other hand on the table.

"Zoe, don’t lose hope. I’ll do anything to help you. Russia’s medical technology has greatly advanced. We can visit each one of the hospital. I’ll help you every step of the way."

I smiled at Elliot.

"Thank you," was all I could say.

A year ago, I was diagnosed as infertile.

We were in the middle of our tour when Lawrence and I decided to have kids . . . but after a year of trying and nothing happened, we finally consulted an expert and it was the start of my depression and heartaches.

The unacceptance of my predicament of inability to give Lawrence a child –– a family.

I can’t accept it at all!

We’ve tried everything from IUI to IVF, but to no success. If not for Lawrence’s constant care, love, and support, I probably have gone down to deeper levels of depression. Unable to eat. Unable to sleep and just cried myself morning till night each day.

There was also that time when we almost canceled our tour and asked for help, but I refused. Lawrence didn’t argue, thinking the journey would be healthy for me. Experiencing new cultures and seeing new places would help me relax and recover.

Now, I couldn’t say I was one hundred percent okay, but at least I was eating and sleeping, and was no longer skin and bones. I was steadily recovering. But there were still days which I couldn’t help but broke down, and Lawrence was always there to love me.

Loving me so much, filling me with so much love I lost for myself.

----

"Hey . . ." I started when it was just Lawrence and me.

Elliot already went home two hours ago, and we were in our bedroom about to sleep after we bathe each other.

"Hm . . . ?" Lawrence replied.

I snuggled closer against his warm chest before I whispered with shaking voice.

"Why don’t we t-try . . . s-surrogate . . . ?"

The only thing we haven’t tried . . . a third party.

Lawrence stiffened before he sat on the bed. Even in the dark, I could see the anger on his face.

"What are you even saying? You want me to fuck another woman?!"

"N-no!" I panicked and bolted up.

"Hear me out first. I read that you don’t have to have sex. It’s like injecting your sperm together with mine or a donor inside the stomach of another––!"

"Enough!"

I flinched when he shouted. He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into his chest.

"Enough . . . it makes me sick just listening that what belongs to you will be shared by another. I can’t stomach it! I’m yours, and you are mine alone. That’s what we vowed! If it’s not yours, I won’t accept it!"

I bit my lips and wanted to push him away, yet his tight gripped remained lock on my back.

"Lawrence, please . . . understand . . . I can’t . . . I can’t . . . g-give you a child . . . I can’t give you a family." I broke, crying again.

"Shhh . . . I told you and will tell you again and again," Lawrence held me closer, wanting to make our bodies one, "I don’t need anyone else. I only need you. Zoe, you are my family."

I bit my lips harder, didn’t say anything. Lawrence held me, caressing and rocking me to sleep.

Though I was recovering, these relapses and the occasional breakdowns were worrying me. I also felt that Lawrence was beginning to be affected by it too.

I have to do something to save our relationship, our marriage. But exactly what –– I didn’t know.

I’m a mess.