Leave Me Alone, Big Brothers! [BL]-Chapter 124: Sorry to Bring You Here

"Sorry," said Nathan, pulling back slightly from the hug and wiping his tears.

He looked at his older brother, the man who had always been an immovable fortress, and felt a cold shiver of dread.

"What can I do to make you feel better? Everyone needs you," whispered Nathan, his voice thick with the remnants of his tears.

He was still sobbing. For some reason, he felt unbearably sad.

Alexander didn’t answer for a long time. At times like this, he still tried to analyze his brother’s thoughts. Nathan, whom he had always thought was wild and uncaring, was the one crying the hardest.

He turned his face toward the TV, but his gaze was hollow and glazed, as if he were staring into a void.

"They will get used to it without me. I’m too tired," he said, his voice a dry rasp.

Nathan looked at his brother in disbelief. "You’re really never going to leave this room? Ever?"

It had only been two days, and he already felt like the whole house was in disarray, filling him with an unexplainable anxiety. 𝑓𝘳𝑒𝑒𝓌𝘦𝘣𝘯ℴ𝑣𝘦𝑙.𝘤𝑜𝑚

Alexander turned his head to look at Nathan, and the sheer emptiness in his eyes made Nathan want to cry even more. He didn’t answer, just stared for a long time. There was a look of regret there that Nathan couldn’t understand.

"I’m sorry, Nathan," Alexander said quietly. "I’m sorry I brought you into this hell. I should never have taken you back from that life you had. I should have let you stay in the light."

Nathan was stunned by Alexander’s words. Of all the possibilities, this was the last response he had expected. The man who had been forcing him all this time—and now, he was apologizing?

Nathan shook his head. "I don’t even know what I feel anymore. Here or in the orphanage, I can’t choose which is better. But you took me here anyway."

"I know. It’s too late now," Alexander sighed, the sound heavy with exhaustion. "Even if I opened the gates and told you to run, you wouldn’t be safe. Once you become a Salazar, you carry danger everywhere you go. If you left this house today, our enemies would find you within the hour just to see us scrambling."

Nathan looked at him, confused. "Then why did you give me a choice? You told me after six months I could leave."

"Honestly?" Alexander’s lips twisted into the ghost of a bitter smile. "I was too arrogant. I was confident that once you saw the power, once you lived this life, you would choose to stay. But I was wrong about many things. The truth is, once you enter this family, it’s impossible to get out without risking your life. I trapped you here, Nathan, just like I was trapped."

Alexander stared blankly at the wall beside the TV.

"I thought I was strong enough to protect everyone. In fact, more people were hurt because of my arrogance. If I hadn’t forced you to come back, maybe you would have been happy where you were. If I hadn’t tried to protect everyone, maybe they would be stronger now. If I had cared about Huan a little more seriously, he might still be here..."

Alexander sighed deeply, as if speaking to himself. "I just messed everything up."

"No, you didn’t! Don’t say that!" Nathan cried. "You just feel sad—that’s why it feels like everything is shattered. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you are the most amazing man I’ve ever met."

Alexander only smiled bitterly.

The silence stretched between them, heavy and suffocating.

Nathan swallowed hard, the rumors he had heard from the servants burning at the back of his mind. He hesitated, then finally let the question slip out. "Is my situation really that dangerous? Is it true... what they’re saying? Did Grandpa kill Huan?"

The air in the room seemed to turn to ice. Alexander’s face didn’t change, but his eyes darkened with a grief so sharp it felt physical. He didn’t speak, and that silence was the loudest confirmation Nathan had ever received.

"I’m sorry," Nathan whispered, guilt washing over him for even asking. "I shouldn’t have—"

"Our family is a collection of devils to the rest of the world, Nathan," Alexander interrupted, his voice low and steady. "And your grandfather is the leader of those devils. You can never truly defeat him, not unless he’s dead."

He reached out, his hand surprisingly gentle as he wiped a stray tear from Nathan’s cheek. "Be strong, Nathan. If you truly want to leave this house, make sure you can protect yourself first. Learn to shoot, learn to fight, learn to survive. I won’t ask you to stay anymore. I won’t force you to be part of this family."

Nathan felt the weight of those words settle in his chest. For the first time, Alexander looked completely defeated. He wasn’t the arrogant, harsh, dominating brother Nathan had resented. The sight made Nathan profoundly uncomfortable.

He realized, with a start, that he preferred the annoying, strong version of Alexander. At least that man knew how to protect.

"You’re not going to... kill yourself, right?" Nathan asked, panic rising in his voice. "Don’t tell me these are your last words to me. Don’t do something stupid."

A short, dry chuckle escaped Alexander’s throat, though his expression remained bleak. "You’d be happy if I died, wouldn’t you? One less monster to worry about."

"No!" Nathan snapped, his eyes flashing with sudden fear. "You’re really annoying, and you’re harsh, and half the time I want to punch you in the face. But I know you always thought you were doing what was best for me. I don’t like your methods, but I don’t want to see you die, Alex."

Alexander took a deep, shuddering breath and leaned his head back against the sofa.

"I don’t want to die. Never in my life. But I never realized that without Huan... everything is different. Sometimes I call his name, only to realize he’s not here anymore. His death... it made me realize that I’m not afraid of my own death."

He looked down at his hands, his voice dropping to a whisper.

"For the first time in my life, I feel like I could die at any moment, and I would be content with it. I’m not afraid like I used to be..." Alexander allowed himself to be weak in front of Nathan; he didn’t even think to try to be strong. His heart was simply empty.

Nathan looked down at the floor, his heart aching. He had wanted freedom from Alexander’s control, but he had never wanted it to cost his brother’s soul.