Like Deadpool in the DC Universe.-Chapter 30: I want to take care of your mom

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Blade stood in front of Slade on the bridge, casually flipping the piece of green Kryptonite between his fingers. The cold wind blew around them, the air thick with tension... but, as always, Blade refused to take anything seriously.

Slade, in his deep, calm voice:

"Blade... you're a strong fighter, smarter than you seem, and more dangerous than they think. You know those kids don't truly appreciate you... why not join me?"

Blade looked around in exaggerated astonishment:

"Wait, are we in a movie right now? This feels like that classic moment where the villain tries to recruit the hero... then the hero refuses, they fight, the villain escapes at the last second, and we repeat the same scene next week?"

Slade (coldly):

"I'm not asking you this for nothing, Blade. You're not like the Titans. You think outside the box, you don't follow their ridiculous rules... You're a real fighter, and you have the power to make a difference in this world, away from those fake heroes."

Blade, clapping slowly:

"Man, what a speech! Did you practice that in front of a mirror? Because I bet you spent hours working on your tone, too. Were you, like, in the bathroom saying: 'Blade, you're different... Blade, join me... Blade, I have secret files on you... Blade, that's why I want to say—I want to take care of your mom...'"

Slade, narrowing his eyes:

"What did you just say?"

Blade, raising his hands mischievously:

"I said: 'I want to take care of your mom'... Don't worry, I'll bring her flowers, help her in the kitchen, and make sure she takes her meds on time... because she's probably exhausted from raising you to be this edgy."

Slade, starting to lose his composure:

"You don't get it, do you? The world isn't what the Titans think it is. The law won't protect anyone, and heroes are just pawns in a bigger game. With me, you wouldn't just be a fighter—you'd be a leader."

Blade, placing a hand on his chin:

"A leader, you say? Does that mean I get a big office? Employees under my command? A longer lunch break? Oh, and what about health insurance?"

Slade, his tone growing sharper:

"Blade... enough mockery. You know very well I'm offering you something you can't refuse. I know everything about you—your past, your secrets, your weaknesses... And if you're not with me, you're against me."

Blade, pointing at him mockingly:

"Oh, this is great! Are we starting the threats now? Hold on, let me grab some popcorn! Because this is another classic scene: 'Join me, or I'll destroy you.' I've heard it before, but remind me—who said it? Oh, right—every villain in history."

Slade, realizing the conversation was pointless:

"You're a waste of time."

Blade, circling around him in mock theatrics:

"A waste of time? No, no, no—I'm an investment! I'm free entertainment! Do you know how much people pay for comedy these days? But don't worry, this time, the show is on the house."

At that moment, Slade pressed a button on his wrist, and suddenly, a smoke bomb exploded around them, making the air thick with fog... but Blade just laughed and said:

"Ooooh, very dramatic! Alright, alright, since you want to be all mysterious and vanish into the smoke, I'll let you go... But remember, when you need comedy lessons, call me. I'll take care of your mom in the meantime."

Slade disappeared into the darkness, leaving Blade alone on the bridge... but he wasn't upset. He simply smirked mischievously and said:

"What a mysterious man... No wonder he has no friends."

Blade then turned to Beast Boy and hopped onto his back as they headed toward the city.

While Beast Boy soared through the sky in the form of a massive falcon, Blade sat comfortably on his back, as if he were on a relaxing aerial tour rather than heading into a dangerous battle. The wind roared around them, but that didn't stop Beast Boy from starting a conversation filled with disbelief about what had just happened.

Beast Boy, flapping his wings firmly:

This chapt𝒆r is updated by frёewebηovel.cѳm.

"Okay, I can't believe you were talking back to Slade like that! I mean, do you have a death wish or something? The guy is a professional assassin!"

Blade, leaning back as if enjoying the ride:

"Oh, don't exaggerate, Dream Bird! It was just a friendly chat between two mature men... and a third man who's so mature he needs a mask to hide his real age."

Beast Boy, turning slightly toward him:

"But you told him... wait, what exactly did you say? Oh yeah—'I'll take care of your mom'! Man, you really love playing with fire."

Blade, laughing:

"What? I was just offering him some good old-fashioned family kindness! Maybe he needed a little emotional warmth. No one cares about him, so I just wanted to be that friend who checks in on his mom."

Beast Boy, bursting into laughter:

"No, no, no—that wasn't emotional warmth, that was verbal suicide! If he didn't need you, he would've cut your head off on the spot!"

Blade, gazing off into the horizon indifferently:

"Eh, maybe... But hey, if he killed me, what would he do after that? There'd be no one left to roast him with such refined sarcasm. He'd just be another boring, serious villain."

Beast Boy, sarcastically:

"Yeah, because the world definitely needs more sarcastic banter during life-or-death battles, right?"

Blade, thoughtfully:

"Exactly! Battles without comedy are like pizza without cheese... You can eat it, but it has no flavor."

Beast Boy, sighing:

"You're a lost cause, man..."

At that moment, the sounds of explosions grew louder in the city, and smoke was rising in the distance. The Titans were still locked in an intense battle against Slade's robots, and it was time to join them.

Beast Boy, speeding up his flight:

"Alright, get ready! We're about to drop right into the chaos."

Blade, with a wide grin as he draws his sword from its sheath:

"Ooooh, finally! I needed some exercise. Time for some hell!"

And with that, they rushed into battle, where their friends... and enemies awaited them!

Blade landed gracefully beside Robin on the rooftop of a building, while Beast Boy landed heavily near Cyborg, Raven, and Starfire, who were all fighting fiercely. The sounds of battle and explosions filled the air, and Slade's robots were adapting to every attack the heroes launched, making the fight harder as time went on.

Robin, swinging his combat staff to take down a robot:

"You're late!"

Blade, pulling out his twin swords and slicing a robot in half:

"Oh, sorry, I was busy having a philosophy lesson with Slade. A lesson titled: 'Why don't mask covers fully hide the eyes?'"

Cyborg, after blasting a robot with his cannon:

"No time for chit-chat, these bots are evolving fast! The more we hit them, the stronger they get!"

Starfire, firing her starbolts at a massive robot:

"Why do villains always have such complicated plans? Why don't they just rob a bank and be done with it?"

Raven, trying to use her powers but still affected by the interference:

"There's something here... something blocking my focus. Slade is using some kind of strange technology!"

Beast Boy, after transforming into a tiger and pouncing on a robot:

"Great, we've got smart robots, magic interference, and a criminal with a terrible mask... Can this get any worse?"

Blade, smirking as he stabs a robot through its core:

"Oh, it definitely can... But don't worry, I'm here now. Let's get our hands dirty!"

As explosions continued to erupt and the robots kept growing stronger, Blade found himself lost in thought. Something didn't add up... Why was Raven's power being disrupted? This wasn't just about advanced robots—there was something else going on.

Robin, fighting beside him with his staff:

"Blade, what are you thinking about? We need to focus on taking these things down before they destroy the city!"

Blade, dodging a robot's strike absentmindedly:

"Hmmmm..."

Robin, growing impatient:

"Are you even listening to me?!"

Blade, suddenly shouting through his comms:

"Beast Boy! Drop me near one of the destroyed robots, I need to check something!"

Beast Boy, flying above the battle in the form of a falcon:

"What?! We're in the middle of a fight, genius!"

Blade, leaping over a robot and slicing its head off in one swift motion:

"Yeah, yeah, but I have a feeling these tin cans are hiding something else... Just drop me down fast before one of the dramatic heroes collapses here."

Beast Boy swooped down, transformed into a gorilla, grabbed Blade, and quickly dropped him near a destroyed robot!

Blade knelt beside the wrecked robot, cautiously examining its internal components... then suddenly, his eyes widened!

"Damn... I found the reason."

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