Magical Girl with Demonic Time Magic-Chapter 130: Choices Between Desires

The day was a strange mess. So many things happened after everything Setsuna said. First, after we got home, I tried calling every magical girl I knew.

In the end, no one answered, and when I searched online for news about deaths, it was there—reporting on the deaths that had occurred in the building. The reason wasn’t stated, probably because no one knows, and they didn’t even detail who died there, so I still hold hope that there are magical girls alive out there.

It was sad, but aside from Ophelia and a few other girls, I didn’t really know anyone. Although I feel insensitive for thinking so little of them, the truth is my mind is just completely full of other thoughts.

So my focus shifted to Setsuna, who is "Dying." She said she’s dying, and I deduced it’s probably an illness, though I don’t even know if magical girls can die from diseases. I knew far too little about being a magical girl.

But thinking rationally, I could only feel useless for not noticing and for not having the ability to cure her, which makes me think how weak I still am, even after awakening an angel’s power.

I spent hours and hours agonizing over Setsuna’s final request. I understood that she wants to give me her first time, which should be a special occasion, but in this situation, it’s painful to have to make this choice.

I never expected my first time would be this soon, and I expected even less that it would be under these circumstances.

So here I am, stuck at this crossroads, where everything seems to be falling apart, which made me run to my room and spend the rest of my time there pacing in circles while I tried to decide what to do.

And now I don’t know if I can give Setsuna an answer tonight, which just makes me feel more pressured since she only said she’s dying but didn’t explain anything, so I don’t know how much time I have.

...

...

...

I look at the door to Ayane’s room, where she’s isolated herself to think about her choice. I can hear the sound of her footsteps, showing just how anxious she is about the decision.

’Maybe it wasn’t the best option...but I think it’ll do...’ I didn’t exactly lie to Ayane. I am "dying." I’m ceasing to be myself, which is why I decided I at least want to fulfill this one wish.

In the end, I chose to fortify Ayane beyond the power I have. I’m going to make her stronger than me, strong enough to truly kill me if I step too far out of line with her.

That’s why I asked her if she could kill someone important to her if that person turned into a monster. I was talking about myself. I don’t know if I can trust her to do it.

But all I can do now is hope she can really stop me, because it’s getting harder every day to focus on what’s in front of me. The power of Number 0 inside me is growing.

And soon, I think my jealousy is going to explode, and that’s not good, because I’m developing this unpleasant desire to destroy things.

’But there’s still Hexael... I need to get rid of him somehow... I don’t want her getting in the way...’ I sit down at the table. I know Ayane will agree to have sex with me because I know her like the back of my hand... and because I can see the future.

She’s the type of person who would do anything for the sake of those she loves. She’ll fulfill her dying girlfriend’s last wish, even if it’s a bit of a heavy thing to ask of her.

But since I’m really disappearing and ceasing to be who I am, I believe I at least have the right to indulge my desires for the first time in my life, to set aside the responsibility, goals, and plans and just lose myself in something meaningful.

All of this started when I found out everything Ayane had suffered. In other timelines, she’s been raped by all sorts of monsters. My jealousy really can’t accept that.

If she’s already been deflowered by every kind of monster, then at least in this current timeline, I want to be the one to do it. I also want to give my virginity to her... although I don’t have a hymen anymore because I used vibrators on myself, I’m still a virgin.

’Even my desires are so dirty now...’ I’ve already eliminated 90% of the monsters on the planet, and now I have so much of Number 0’s power that I can create [Collapse Zones]. They’re fixed points on the earth where time collapses and everything inside is destroyed.

Whether because time accelerated like crazy until destruction, or because it reversed too quickly. And I can make these appear anywhere on the planet. Combining that with my amplified future vision, I can kill monsters from a distance.

And even the strongest monsters on the planet can’t handle a power that manipulates time. Of course, using this accelerates how fast my mind is decaying.

However, I know that being intimate with Ayane will reduce my jealousy, because I know she can’t possibly be cheating on me while we’re together. That’s realistically impossible, even for her.

So, asking Ayane for sex isn’t just about pleasure and jealousy; it’s also partly because I really need a mental rest.

Because the more power I have, the more images appear in my mind, and the more realistic they become. On top of that, the memories of Number 0 are starting to flood my fragile human mind.

Added to that, I don’t even know what’s happening to my body anymore, but it seems different in many ways. My eyes, for example, have clearly stopped being normal, since if I focus, I can see the movement of bacteria, literally seeing the microscopic realm.

Meanwhile, my little test with the knife doesn’t work anymore. Even when I try to cut myself on purpose, my skin has become so resistant that knives break, and even my hunting knife, which is a magical girl weapon, has difficulty.

But now all I can do is wait for Ayane to come and accept my request. It gives me a strange satisfaction to see her so anxious about this choice, only to end up choosing me anyway in the end.

It’s kind of sweet... I really... I wish we could have had a normal relationship, but I ruined everything by being the mess that I am now. If only Number 0 had never existed, things would have been better for both me and her. 𝑓𝓇𝘦ℯ𝘸𝘦𝑏𝓃𝑜𝘷ℯ𝑙.𝑐𝑜𝓂

Although I probably wouldn’t exist without Number 0... but not existing might have been for the best for an aberration like me, who’s full of envy, obsession, and jealousy.