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Martial Arts? Sorry, I am better at Thunder Spell!-Chapter 71 - : 072 These days, even corpse herders have to go on blind dates! (Asking for subscriptions! Votes for the month! Bookmark requests!)
Chapter 71: 072 These days, even corpse herders have to go on blind dates! (Asking for subscriptions! Votes for the month! Bookmark requests!)
In the conference room, the police chief was baffled when he heard that Xiao Ma planned to contact a Corpse Handler in Xiangxi that he knew.
In the past, he had indeed heard some of the Corpse Handler legends from Xiangxi.
But he had always thought they were fake.
He had never expected that such things really existed.
That was outrageous.
Soon, Xiao Ma’s call connected.
...
The person on the other side snapped and promptly hung up the phone first.
After a while, the other party called back.
On the other end of the phone, answering the call was a young man who didn’t look very old.
At most, he seemed around twenty-seven or twenty-eight years old.
He sat on a rock, wearing a sharply tailored suit, with a dark, dense forest behind him.
The attire and the backdrop were bizarrely mismatched.
Xiao Ma was baffled.
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“Qiangzi, what are you doing? Is your dad at home? I’ve got something for your dad!”
The person on the other side was named Li Qiang.
He was a friend Xiao Ma had played with since childhood.
Their families used to be neighbors, and Li Qiang’s father was a well-known Corpse Handler in Xiangxi.
Xiao Ma had made the call with the intent to find Li Qiang’s father.
But judging by the look of it, Li Qiang didn’t seem to be at home!
Li Qiang said, “You’re looking for my dad? Then you might not find him for a while. A few days ago, my dad took on a big job, and now he’s gone to the old forests in Yunnan to transport corpses. He probably won’t be back for ten days to half a month.”
Xiao Ma: “Can you give him a call?”
Li Qiang said, “That… I’m afraid not. The old forests in Yunnan have no signal; calls can’t get through. I haven’t been able to contact him for seven or eight days either.”
Xiao Ma looked distressed.
He hadn’t expected that at this critical moment, Li Qiang’s dad wouldn’t be at home, and even the means of contact were cut off.
This was really unfortunate.
At this time, Li Qiang curiously asked, “What do you need my dad for? Whatever it is, you can tell me just the same.”
Xiao Ma said, “We’ve got a Zombie situation in our substation. A colleague and a worker were bitten by a Zombie, and the hospital can’t cure it, so I wanted to see if your dad had any way to cure the Corpse Poison.”
Li Qiang sat on the rock and lit a cigarette, saying, “Bitten by a Zombie? Do you know what kind of Zombie bit you? Ordinary Walking Corpses and Jumping Zombies shouldn’t be poisonous!”
Xiao Ma: “It’s probably a Green Zombie, though there’s hair starting to grow on the body.”
Upon hearing this, Li Qiang’s expression also changed: “A Fur Zombie? That’s troublesome. Can you show me your colleague’s current condition?”
Xiao Ma: “Are you sure you can handle it?”
Xiao Ma was sceptical about his childhood friend.
Does this kid know how to treat Zombies?
Li Qiang: “Whether I can handle it? Damn! What do you think I’m doing in the deep woods? After my dad left, I took over all his Corpse Handling business around here; I’m a Corpse Handler now!”
As he spoke, Li Qiang turned the phone camera around, and then Xiao Ma saw a row of Zombies standing stiffly, lined up in place.
Xiao Ma gasped.
That explained why Li Qiang didn’t answer his call immediately and only returned it after a while.
The kid was handling corpses!
However, Xiao Ma asked, “Then why are you wearing a suit?”
Li Qiang: “Damn, I’m twenty-seven or twenty-eight years old, aren’t I in a hurry to find a match? My neighbor, Aunt Zhang, introduced me to a girl. We agreed to meet for a blind date soon!
Right now, I’m on my way! Just going to go straight from here to the blind date, do you want me to stay single forever?”
Xiao Ma was stunned.
You, on a blind date?
Taking corpses along?
For real?
Xiao Ma seriously doubted that if his childhood friend brought corpses in front of his date, the girl would not be surprised but terrified!
Can a blind date like this really succeed?
But that was none of his business.
Then Xiao Ma turned the camera around to show Li Qiang the situation of his colleague and the worker in the hospital.
After taking a look, Li Qiang took a drag on his cigarette and said, “Xiao Ma, we’ve been friends since childhood, and I won’t hide anything from you. I’ll be straight with you; the policeman, whose poisoning is still minor, can still be saved.
But as for that worker, the Corpse Poison has attacked his heart, and his consciousness is already blurry. Unless a highly skilled person takes action, ordinary medicines will be powerless. You might as well give up on that thought!”
Hearing Li Qiang’s words, many policemen in the conference room fell silent.
Was the worker beyond saving?
Xiao Ma asked, “Is there a way to save my colleague? How? ”
Li Qiang said, “Locally, we usually cut off the dead flesh bitten by Zombies with a Peach Wood Sword, and then sprinkle glutinous rice on the wound. Remember, both the peach wood and the glutinous rice must be genuine, otherwise the evil won’t be suppressed, and you’ll be responsible for the consequences. If possible, have him eat some glutinous rice porridge or drink a bit of dog blood and chicken blood, not too much. Glutinous rice can be the main food, but dog blood and chicken blood only once a day; a little less than half a bowl is fine, otherwise instead of driving the evil away, you’re inviting it in.
Besides, it’s best to tie Red Rope at both ends of the wound. Red Rope wards off evil and can prevent its spread. In addition, get some sunshine often. After fifteen days, the person is usually fine.”
Li Qiang provided the methods.
Alongside, someone was in charge of taking notes.
After Li Qiang finished speaking, he added, “As for that worker, scatter raw glutinous rice around him, and then tie an Ink Pot line around his forehead. Stuff some Five Emperors’ Money on his forehead and cooked glutinous rice in his mouth; rice dumplings would be best.
This method can at least maintain him for five days without turning into a zombie and without dispersing his consciousness. After five days, all methods will fail, and by that time, not even gods and spirits can save him.
During those five days, let him have a good chat with his family and set his affairs in order; at least that would be fulfilling one’s duty.”
Xiao Ma asked, “Qiangzi, are you sure there’s no other way to save him?”
As a policeman, Xiao Ma would want to save lives by all means possible.
But Li Qiang shook his head, “Even if my dad were here, he might not have a way to save someone with heart-invading Corpse Poison, let alone me. Of course, unless you can find a real expert who can force the Corpse Poison out of the body with a grand method, otherwise, there’s no way.”
Xiao Ma nodded.
He understood.
Xiao Ma: “Thanks a lot, Qiangzi.”
Li Qiang: “It’s nothing, I won’t say more since I have to hurry and take these customers back, then go on my blind date. Bye!”
Li Qiang’s call ended.
Immediately, the chief in the conference room issued orders.
He instructed them to save the people as soon as possible, according to the treatment methods Li Qiang had described.
Then, a call was made to the armed police, preparing to have them suppress the situation.
But before the chief could make the call—
Li Qiang, who had just hung up, called back again.
Xiao Ma was puzzled.
Hadn’t this guy been rushing to handle the corpses and go on a blind date just now?
Why was he calling back again?
Xiao Ma answered the call.
Li Qiang immediately asked, “Xiao Ma, you just said your colleague was bitten by a Fur Zombie. Are you sure, in your place, there’s only one Fur Zombie?”
Li Qiang asked directly.
This question stopped Xiao Ma.
In the air-raid shelter, was there just one Zombie, or were there several?
They really didn’t know.
They had only encountered one so far.
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Xiao Ma said, “We don’t know about that; we’ve only encountered one.”
Li Qiang: “Damn, it’s good I thought to call you back, or else you all would’ve been doomed. Wherever Zombies are rampant, especially places with Fur Zombies, it’s often a Great Yin Land. It’s rare to have just one Zombie; most Extremely Yin Lands have Zombies flocking in droves.
First, describe to me what the Fur Zombie looks like.”
Hearing Li Qiang wanting to know what the Zombie looked like,
Xiao Ma said, “We have body cams; I’ll just show you the video.”
After that, Xiao Ma showed Li Qiang the video.
Li Qiang, after watching the video,
didn’t speak and smoked two cigarettes in a row. After a long while, he finally opened his mouth, trembling.
Li Qiang said, “Xiao Ma, if you trust me, your old pal, and if you’ll listen to me, I’ll pay for your flight ticket from Ziyang back to Hunan. Quit your job and come back now. If you stay there, the next time I’m handling corpses, I’ll probably have to handle you back.”
The moment Li Qiang said this,
Xiao Ma’s face turned dark.
“Qiangzi, what the hell do you mean?”
Li Qiang: “What do I mean? I mean exactly what I say. Staying there is just waiting to die. Do you think that’s just a Fur Zombie?
I’m telling you, at the place you went to, the Fur Zombie is just the doorkeeper. Inside, there’s at least one Flying Zombie! Maybe even a Ba Corpse! If you don’t run now, are you waiting to die?”
Upon Li Qiang’s words, the entire conference room fell into a deathly silence.
Xiao Ma was dumbfounded.
Flying Zombie?
Ba Corpse?
Jesus!
Was it really this exaggerated?