Mushoku Tensei-Volume 20 Chapter 12 — Zanobas Chosen Path

Part 1

--- Zanoba's Perspective ---

Formerly, I could not see the difference between humans and dolls.

Either they speak, or they do not.

I had thought the difference was only to this degree.

The distinction began to sink in as I grew up, but it did not change much.

Humans, their arms can be torn off, their heads can be removed.

I thought they were the same as those wooden dolls you can find everywhere.

No, of course I love dolls.

I only loved dolls.

There are exquisite dolls, and there are many flawed dolls; but even flawed dolls, I love them.

Human beings are, so to speak… a doll I did not care for.

They were dolls which complained and made demands for themselves: detestable dolls.

There was a change in my way of thinking after meeting with Shishou.

It did not change immediately.

I met with Shishou, and then went to the magic city Sharia. Then, after several years, I met with Shishou again.

Gradually, I found that I no longer disliked all human beings.

The starting point was when I accepted Julie.

She was a slave which I had purchased with Shishou and Sylphy-dono for the purpose of manufacturing dolls.

We could not speak a word to one another, and I could not leave a six year old to fend for herself.

She was a troublesome presence.

My existence as her master became a kind of charm for me.

It was troublesome, but a doll will not emerge from a block of wood if some of the wood is not shaved away.

Therefore, I took the task to heart and, one by one, instructed her in the things that she must do.

Before I realized it, Julie was no longer a hindrance.

I don't understand it.

She would listen obediently to what I said and quickly absorbed the techniques I taught her.

Until that day I had never met a human like that. I had begun to like and grow attached to that person, I did not discriminate against them at all.

Did this start from the time I began to live with the girl?

Other humans also, began to appear differently in my eyes.

I really noticed it when Ginger appeared.

Ginger was an existence that only scolded Myself.

I had misunderstood her because of trivial things; I failed to see the trees through the leaves.

The branches and roots are an essential part of the tree. The roots hold the tree down while the branches hold the leaves up, but this is something I never understood.

Honestly, she was an interfering presence.

When we reunited she was no longer a nuisance.

I do not know why, but she no longer felt like a hindrance anyway.

Even though her nagging did not diminish.

Why?

Why did I change like this?

Definitely, it is because of the influence of Shishou.

Shishou never abandoned me even once.

I am a man who is only good at power, and will clumsily break the doll he is trying to create.

With my magic power so small, I am a man that does not live up to the expectations of his Shishou.

Shishou worked hard to instill into Myself the secret of his doll making technique, but it was all a wasted effort.

I was ready to give up.

I cannot create dolls.

Even though I was abandoned by the doll making god,

I was happy.

A presence that would look after Myself to this extent, until now did not exist.

Therefore, without Shishou, the Ginger which always watched over me would not have been recognized.

Because of that, the stupid Me finally noticed.

Human beings and dolls, there is a difference.

I understood the importance of this.

The stupid Me did not understand why this was important, but I knew it was important nonetheless.

By no means did Shishou tell me these things directly from his mouth.

However he has shown them to me in his actions.

Through him I was granted a [Revelation].

For that alone I owe Shishou a debt of gratitude, for that I will always respect him.

I am proud that I was able to look up to such a person as my Shishou.

However, there was also the fact that stupid Myself didn't understand the actions of Shishou.

For example: that thing with Nanahoshi-dono.

Silent Seven Stars.

Nanahoshi Shizuka-dono.

She seems to be studying summoning magic in order to return to her homeland.

That home, I don't know it's name; I'm not interested in it.

For Myself, a homeland is a place devoid of pleasant memories.

No part of me could sympathize with Nanahoshi, who wanted to return home so strongly.

Shishou, he is from the Asura Kingdom, and has many unpleasant memories from there.

Even with that, Shishou was devoted to helping Nanahoshi-dono.

When Nanahoshi became heartbroken, he brought her back to his home and nursed her himself.

When Nanahoshi became ill with an incurable disease, he traveled to the magic continent looking for a cure.

I also helped.

For some reason, I did not mind.

If Shishou was doing it, then I would aid Shishou; I did not think of it as unpleasant.

However, I did not know what made Shishou help Nanahoshi-dono.

Meanwhile, there was a change in Myself.

Unconsciously, I had also begun to think of my homeland.

Because Nanahoshi's homeland was a home she wanted to return to, surely I became infected with the idea of Home.

That disagreeable Shirone Royal Palace, for some reason it became the case that I was longing for it.

Thereafter I continued to think about it.

Shirone Royal Palace.

When I received the request for aid from Pax, My conclusion was immediate: 'I will go.'

In fact I like my country.

I intend to defend my country in its time of need.

At this time I have to go.

My thoughts were like that.

It's different now.

At Fort Karon, when Shishou tried to persuade me to return with him, my heart wavered.

I intended to return.

The state of the country seemed to be good enough, and with Shishou I could indulge in making dolls and having fun to my heart's content.

But I could not return.

In my head, there was only the thought that I could not return.

[ I want to help Pax because he is my brother. ]

Instantly, that lie appeared.

Even so, there was the chance that I would have relented if Shishou had begged me.

However, things proceeded in that direction.

I did not know why.

Sometimes, lies told in the past have a way of transforming into the truth; I thought it was that kind of thing.

When Pax jumped off and I watched him die, the past incidentally flashed through my head.

It was the time when Brother, was called to a party hosted by the second prince.

What the party was about, I do not remember.

It was never the kind of thing where attendance was mandatory.

Why we were there, I do not remember.

The part I remember is that young Pax accidentally sat down in the seat next to Myself.

This all happened before Roxy-dono had came.

I think, at that time Pax had not yet reached the age of ten.

There was no conversation.

Simply, we just sat beside one another.

There was an atmosphere like Pax was trying to say something to Myself.

I thought it was all bothersome and did not even look at Pax.

To the very end Pax was unable to speak to me.

It was like he was ignored.

He didn't try to converse, but it was still ignoring.

When I lifted Pax's corpse up I suddenly had a thought.

Why, I wonder why, at that time, did we not speak to one another, huh?

Then everything became clear.

I understood.

The meaning of the actions Shishou took in regards to Nanahoshi-dono, that inexplicable behaviour, was found.

To Shishou, Nanahoshi-dono is probably like a sister.

I wonder why I did not notice.

Although Shishou also has real little sisters.

In particular, how Shishou interacts with Nanahosi-dono and his sisters, I think it seems very similar.

There are slight differences, but still it's very similar.

The way he watches over them and, if something happens, comes to their aid, it's very similar.

For Shishou, taking care of Nanahoshi-dono is like cherishing his sisters.

And why did Oneself help with it?

After I helped, why did it remind me of my home?

When the letter came from Pax, why did I decide to go back to my country over everyone's objections?

After the battle at Fort Karon, why did I think that I must go and rescue Pax?

Why was such a lie given instantly?

Why did the lie fit so snuggly?

I understand.

I understand everything.

It was all connected.

But it was too late.

I should not have taken so long to notice.

Pax died.

I did not jump into action like Shishou.

Still, there was a thing that I could yet do.

--- Rudeus's Perspective ---

We set out for the magic city Sharia.

Breath: good, good. I was full of dread, but the trip home was smooth sailing.

I pulled the carriage with the Magic Armor.

Zanoba and I took it apart inside the forest, and then we prepared a teleport magic circle and entered the sky fortress.

Roxy had to pass through, but Zanoba and I stopped to greet Perugius.

After greeting us with an offhand attitude, "Okay," Perugius took us into the usual room. "To be bound by a country is a foolish thing." we received that kind of admonishment.

Zanoba nodded obediently and explained that he had ceased being a part of the imperial family.

With those words, Perugius seemed satisfied.

Perugius even gave me praise for dealing with that 'trouble'.

Saying something or other about how his tea-drinking companion hasn't left him, he seems to be relieved.

By the way, I went and reported to Nanahoshi as well, but all I received was a sigh of 'Haaa' from her.

I suppose the farewell crying of a woman would ruin my impression of her.

I understand the feeling.

Well, Eris will also come to term soon.

At the time of the delivery, I must be by her side.

I need to go home…

However, there is work to be done before that.

I need to report to Orsted.

Part 2

This time I was taken care of.

There was no damage to me, but the Shirone Republic -- in the future it should have produced an important person for Orsted.

That is, it's kind of like we've had one of our stronger pieces taken.

Thinking about it, my return might have been premature.

If I had stayed in that country a while, could I have possibly pushed it towards becoming a republic…

No, if it was just about the republic Orsted would not have said, 'Reinforce Pax'.

Anyway, I should just honestly tell him what has happened.

Then, if there is something we can do, I'll do it.

"Then Roxy, I want to stop at the office. I need to store the Magic Armor."

"…okay. Be safe. I'll go to the family and let them know we've returned early."

I bid farewell to Roxy at the entrance to the city and headed toward the office.

Zanoba came with me for some reason.

"Something wrong Zanoba?"

"No, I was protected by this armor. I need to give Orsted my thanks, and an apology for letting it be destroyed."

"I see."

It seems unusual for Zanoba to thank Orsted.

Because of his curse, I would have thought such feelings would be impossible.

Could this be the results of Cliff's research?

Once you are close enough to look into Orsted's eyes, you should be struck hard by it, but if he controls his impulses maybe it will be fine.

Convinced of that, I went back to the office along with Zanoba.

There I stowed the Magic Armor in the armory.

After locking it I moved towards the main building.

We went past the unattended lobby towards the president's office.

"Suuuu…"

Before entering, I take a deep breath.

It's time to report my failure.

Until now, there has been several failures, but…

It's a large failure this time.

I may be subjected to some rebuke.

Perhaps he's absent.

No, it's still better to prepare an early report.

Okay.

First, let's knock.

A knock so a man can compose his heart.

It's a polite knock.

Lightly rapping with just the finger, tap-tap.

"Rudeus?"

Ah, he's not absent.

However, all of the details of the report need to be put in order.

Let's just go with sincerity.

"Excuse me! Rudeus Greyrat reporting, I have just arrived with news from the Shirone kingdom!"

I open the door with a bang, enter inside, and bend my waist into a bow.

Then I raised my face towards him.

"FuAaah!?"

Orsted was wearing a solid black face mask, I was startled.

This, could it be?

Cliff has produced a new revision of the mask… so it's a magic tool.

"It looks like you came back safely."

"…Y-yes."

I was unnerved at the start, but my heart is still in this.

I need to report in all sincerity that I failed.

That I did not achieve any results.

No, is that it?

"Reporting -- "

I reported straight forwardly this time.

What I was careful about, what I discovered.

So it'll be alright if there are any retorts later, one by one, calmly, carefully, I explain everything.

One at a time I went over: what I thought, my conclusions, who I consulted with, the actions that we took.

Then finally, I gave the results.

I told him about our conjecture about Hitogami's predictions, and what we thought the correct interpretation was.

Everything thereabout was reported at once.

"I am very sorry. I let Prince Pax die and was unable to accomplish my orders."

Finally, I bowed.

No matter how you gloss it over, failure is failure.

If there is a punishment, I'm resigned to my fate.

" … "

Under the surface, Orsted gave off a heavy dull feeling.

His expression was incomprehensible for a minute, it's more frightening than usual.

Honestly, it's scarier for me with the helmet on.

Hell, why does he even have it on now?

Just take it off…

"King Dragon Kingdom's King, Leonard Kingdragon was an apostle of Hitogami. Probably, the warlord Jade or a Shirone kingdom general was also an apostle. By manipulating these two people, Hitogami cornered Pax and drove him to suicide."

This was Orsted's conclusion.

There were two apostles

First he manipulated the King of KDK to assist Pax.

By doing that he planted the 'awareness that he must meet the expectations of the King of KDK' in Pax.

Give him the Princess, give him the Death God, have him put the country into a good state… then manipulate Jade to orchestrate his failure.

The flow should be something like that.

Since Hitogami can see the future, he would have easily understood who can force Pax toward suicide, it would have been obvious.

"… who was the final person?"

"The other person, Vista's King…… the probability is high."

"That reminds me. The Death God said something, and it seems there is a possibility that the Demon Lord Badigadi was once an apostle."

"…… If that demon lord was an apostle, he would have shown up by now, we would have seen him."

Ah, certainly.

That guy stands out…

Though in this case, my existence should be an anomaly for Hitogami.

For this reason I won't necessarily meet with a person who is an active apostle.

But, I wasn't able to notice the intent of Hitogami.

I'm pathetic.

"In the future, will we be destroying Jade… ?"

"It's too late."

Emotionlessly, Orsted spoke.

"For that, I'm very sorry."

"Before that, I had made an error in my predictions. After killing Leonard, I shouldn't have left everything to you. Thinking about it, I should have then went to the Shirone Kingdom… but still…"

After saying that much, Orsted went silent.

It feels like his motivation has run out.

This failure, is it that severe?

"Or maybe, there is someone who could substitute for Pax?"

"There is no substitute."

"There is nothing?"

" … "

"Orsted-sama, are you alright?"

Then a voice called out from behind me.

There was Zanoba peering in from the rear.

From when did he arrive?

Perhaps he was here from the beginning.

Since he did not speak, I thought he was waiting outside.

"Zanoba Shirone…"

Orsted also seemed to have just noticed him now.

No, in reality, he really may have just noticed him now.

With that helmet, he shouldn't be able to see a thing.

… Also, I just noticed, but his voice is able make it through as well.

Which means he's able to breath as well.

Zanoba took a single step forward and bowed at the waist.

I have no idea what kind of expression Orsted is making.

But, thanks to the helmet, he should be giving off a slightly better impression.

Ah, then this was the reason he was already wearing the helmet when I came in.

He actually felt a sign of Zanoba before I entered and put it on in advance.

"You could have just expressed your gratitude to Rudeus. Wouldn't that have been fine?"

"No, there is more then that."

Just thanking him.

I thought that was all, but Zanoba is going a step further.

He doesn't seem to be completely daunted by Orsted.

"It is the case that I have heard the story from Shishou now, that Pax was swallowed up in the battle between Orsted-sama and a hostile force… I wonder if that is correct?"

"You are not mistaken."

Does that mean, this time, Zanoba thinks everything was the fault of Orsted?

I that's the case, I had better stop him.

"However, Orsted-sama was trying to aid my younger brother behind the scenes, correct?"

"I wasn't trying to help. I needed a man who would have been born in the country Pax would have created."

"Created a country? Person born from… ?"

"I could try to explain, but you wouldn't understand."

Orsted is saying a lot of profound things today.

However, there is something I also want to know.

If we don't understand it, how are we going to recover from this?

"I think I would like you to explain in detail, if you could please, Orsted-sama."

" … "

When asked, Orsted remained silent.

While the silence in the room stretched thin, breathing could be heard from within the helmet.

In this kind of tense situation, it's a sound that could be easily misunderstood.

But I totally hear those breaths as a sigh of anger, and my tension rises.

"… After becoming king, Pax would transform Shirone into a Republic."

Yeah.

I heard all this before.

I want to hear what comes after this.

"After Shirone becomes a republic, a man who was formerly a slave trader rises to power.

His name is Bolt Macedonias.

Pax gives this man an important post."

Bolt Macedonias.

He's a person of consequence?

"Bolt Macedonias becomes a man of influence in the country and sets his roots into Shirone."

"What does this person do?"

"Bolt Macedonias, himself, does nothing. However, from his descendants, the Demon God Laplace is born."

Laplace.

So he comes out here.

"Moreover, now that Pax has died, I no longer know where Laplace will be born."

In other words, without Pax founding the Republic, there is no flag set for the birth of Laplace.

"… No, wait. If, even now, we somehow create the Republic… or setup Bolt Macedonias with the partner who would have given birth to his children when he married…"

"It's useless. Do you think I haven't tried those things until now?"

In his long series of loops, Orsted also probably tried various methods.

Therefore, the nature of Laplace's birth must contain many random variables which need to be regulated.

Perhaps it's not just Shirone Republic. It is something that has been directed for over 100 years, to have Laplace born in a specific place. Additionally, there is the possibility that some of my work was also towards this cause.

With just one thing out of order, none of them are good anymore.

"In order to reach Hitogami, Laplace must be killed.

As for that guy, he'll resurrect, then, after a brief period to gather men, he'll wage war.

While I can defeat Laplace, to bring down that guy and his subordinates requires a great deal of magic and labor.

Then immediately after that, I am brought into a fight with Hitogami."

"Well… after defeating Laplace, is there no way for you to restore your magic power?"

"The time Laplace will revive is roughly determined.

It's far too close to the end of my loop.

I have tried creating a scenario where he is revived earlier, but it was impossible."

After a deep breath, Orsted continued.

"I can't reach Hitogami if I have to go through a war.

This loop, it's a failure."

Failure.

Those words rang in my head like an echo.

Then why didn't you come to Shirone?

Part of me wants to curse and scream, but nothing comes out of my mouth.

The work I was entrusted with, I failed.

Now, I wonder if I'm useless. This job really proved the measure of my worth.

I wonder if I'm a disappointment.

Orsted seems to have completely given up on the loop now.

If that's the case, I… what should I do now?

"Don't just assume this is a failure, it's too early."

And then Zanoba spoke up with a vibrant voice.

I wonder just how much of the story just now Zanoba understood.

Suddenly it was a story about the future, that didn't confuse you?

"When war breaks out, if you say you have to bring down Laplace and his subordinates. Starting now we can begin to prepare our own forces."

"…Ho?"

"Creating an army… even not going quite that far would be sufficient, don't you think? The forces to defeat Laplace, if we start gathering them now, we'll have plenty of companions when the time comes."

Ah, Zanoba said something good.

It's like that.

If using up his magic power is the problem, if Orsted doesn't have to fight then everything is fine.

"Orsted-dono, as your curse prevents you from collecting comrades, Shishou… and Myself, leave that to us."

Then Zanoba stepped forward and took a knee, lowering his head, before Orsted.

"The current proposal, it's just an idea based on my limited understanding.

I'm not sure whether it's even relevant."

I don't know whether it can be realized, however it seems like a good idea.

The revival of Laplace… wasn't it not until 80 years from now?

If his revival is approximately set, then it should be within a several year time frame.

By that time we could have gathered plenty of strong allies like Perugius and the Death God, and be ready to strike when Laplace resurrects.

That way we can preserve Orsted's magical power.

"I do not know the detailed circumstances, but I have heard that you are fighting a two man war against Hitogami. And that Hitogami is -- "

There Zanoba abruptly stopped his speech, then raised his head to look at Orsted.

After that he placed his hands on the ground.

"He is the adversary who killed my little brother."

Zanoba went prone.

He was prostrating himself with his head on the ground.

It's not the usual way in which he just throws his entire body on the ground.

Slowly, gracefully, he shows his respect.

"Would it be possible to, please, accept Myself as another subordinate under Orsted-sama."

" … "

"I want to make our enemy pay!"

I think Orsted cast a glance in my direction.

His vision should have been blocked but…

But, does he want my opinion?

Well, am I even qualified to give an opinion?

"Because of Zanoba's addition, the Magic Armor was able to progress.

Also, just now, that idea seemed pretty good.

In this last job, without him, I would have faced much harsher challenges."

"I understand."

Orsted did not bother listening to the end.

He nodded, stood up, and looked down at Zanoba.

Then he declared,

"In that case, then you shall be attached under Rudeus, look to him for instructions. If you say you can gather allies, then show me what you can do."

"…Y-yes sir!"

Orsted is still wearing the helmet.

Zanoba remains fallen in the prone position.

Like that, Zanoba became my co-worker under Orsted.

Part 3

Pax died.

The Shirone Republic - it won't be born.

Orsted's plans have also significantly been thrown out of order.

It's a large loss.

It is the result of my inability to move well.

Instead, Zanoba has applied for a position as my companion.

The end results of this, we won't know yet.

If it's him, then at least we should be able to make improvements to the Magic Armor but…

Still, will I be able to turn my existence into something profitable for Orsted?

I was told that I had made considerable accomplishments until now, but I feel as if it has been canceled out by this job.

Alternatively, it could have become a net loss.

I hope that my work in the future will allow me to become more than just a detriment.

No, I must become more.

In exchange for all Orsted has done to protect me from Hitogami, I don't know what I can do.

Orsted may be able to just move freely into his next loop, but this is the only time for me.

It was a miracle that I was able to start my life over once already.

Miracles do not occur twice.

In this life, I must live more fully.

For example, if I lived the life of Rudeus Greyrat over and over.

If the current me continues to drag Orsted down, then I'll become a burden.

Far from useless, my existence itself might be problematic.

There is the possibility that I would be unceremoniously cut down, forget being saved. 𝐟𝙧ee𝔀e𝐛𝓃𝐨𝚟𝑒𝗹.c𝗼𝚖

I must do my best here, there won't be a next time.

If I'm detrimental to Orsted, the me in the next loop will be fooled by Hitogami in the same way, warned by the future me, and then… killed by Orsted after picking a fight.

Alternatively, I might be killed at an earlier stage:

during my childhood in Buena village, or during the time I was Eris's tutor.

He could also target me on the return journey to Asura.

It seems like what will happen depends on the circumstances from here on out…

Orsted has been kind to me.

He should have many reasons, but a large part of it should be cold calculation.

His kindness could just be a means to scope me out for a subsequent loop; I don't know how I'd feel about that.

That is a possibility, I must not forget it.

Still, I was spoiled up until now.

Somewhere in my heart I believed, that by becoming a follower of Orsted, that he would somehow get aid to me when I really needed it, somehow.

I was thinking like that.

I must not be such a child in relation to Orsted.

Let's take that to heart once again.