My Alleged Husband-Chapter 1668 - 1462: Embracing Entanglement

How can I forget the tenderness we shared.

Life is just like this, causing you to lose what you cherish again and again, only to realize how much you care about it in the end. When you had it, no one considered the outcome of these things, why everyone is so selfish, always ignoring others’ comforts for the sake of their own thoughts?

In this lifetime, one always encounters momentous events, yet ultimately all they gain is pain. Some people give everything they have repeatedly, but no one knows how they truly spent their lives.

Has anyone thought about how they spent their life in this world, enduring endless suffering? Who has thought about how to bear all this? Those lethal blows, the latest pains, who knows? During the day, you numb yourself with work, but what can you use to numb yourself late at night? The longing inside becomes deeper and grows day by day, until finally, you’ve become a walking shell, no longer knowing what to strive for. No one knows what kind of ending they will face in their lifetime.

Maybe life is just like this; after all the hardships, you still experience the pain of separation, but do you know how you’ve lived your life? Life steams in pain time and again. People endure so much suffering, who knows what kind of harm they will encounter? Everyone’s life is like this, but in the end, they still cannot escape from the abyss created by their actions and choices, making this life an endless cycle of torment. Who truly knows what kind of life would satisfy them?

Many people’s hearts are inherently greedy. Some harm their most beloved ones for their own gains, yet some are willing to give everything for the happiness of the ones they love the most.

Zhang Zhentian really doesn’t know how to persuade his wife. He knows she has truly fallen into the abyss of pain, unable to extricate herself. No one can save her. Time and again, he is awakened by nightmares deep in the night. She repeatedly makes such definitive decisions about her life. He hurts himself, over and over, just to wait for the person he’s longing for to turn around and look at him, to be by her side, even if just for one day. Can a heart be so easily shaken? Why is it that a heart cannot withstand the erosion of time? Time has changed everything, making it insignificant, so fragile.

Xia Jing also understands what Zhang Zhentian feels in his heart. After all, being married for so long, sharing the same bed, how could there be no understanding at all? If there wasn’t even the most basic understanding, what would be the point of all these years of living together? Even if ultimately, it’s not love that keeps you together, there must be some mutual understanding built from years of marriage. Often, it’s not your friends who understand you the most, but your enemies. You may not understand yourself, but do you know how much those around you know about you? They sacrifice so much, just waiting for the opportunity to bring you down, to completely break you. Yet, you don’t understand. They know you well, perhaps it helps you in the end. A heart cannot be exchanged for a heart. It’s only after being hurt and tormented again and again that you realize it was all in vain.

"Xia Jing, maybe whatever I say now can’t get through to you. But I want you to know, that no matter what, as your husband, I would never hurt you.

All these years, have you felt any of my sincere love for you at all? Over the years, I’ve sacrificed so much for you. Do you feel none of it?"

"In truth, the greatest pain in the world is watching the ones you love the most leave you one by one, being abandoned repeatedly. And all you can do is stand there powerless. No one understands the pain and suffering I’ve had in my heart all these years. You all just think I am selfish, only caring about my own thoughts and feelings, ignoring everyone’s opinions. But do you know? Each time you face me, do you know how painful it is inside? Each time you throw words of blame at me, my heart feels so innocent. I too hoped to live happily, but I have no way!

All these years, I have sacrificed too much. But what about myself? In the end, I got nothing. I gave everything, yet all I got was his indifference. Do you know how speechless it makes me feel inside? So tired, so exhausted. Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and never wake up again. Sometimes I want to completely hibernate in that moment, making it impossible, in this lifetime, to ever live happily. I just want to sleep forever and never wake up again. But every time I open my eyes, I find myself trapped in a bottomless abyss, surrounded by darkness. Do you know such darkness? Do you know such emptiness? No one knows!"

"You always think your pain is the greatest in the world. You feel that no one else can understand it. But do you know that you are not the only one who experiences such suffering in this world? Who hasn’t gone through this pain and emerged stronger? Although all this will eventually leave you covered in wounds, devoid of any happiness, do you know how much I care? How much I hope you can stay by my side, just like you care about staying with the one you love the most. I am just like you, in the solitude and loneliness of reaching out in the dark, feeling defeated, making my heart collapse again and again..."

Has the red thread between my wife and me just broken like this?