My Life with Narration-Chapter 302 - 299: Are You Here to Take a Dump?

"Famous, I’m famous, I’m also famous!"

Inside the police station building, Su Qing looked at Zhu Lili, who was jumping around with her phone, and couldn’t help but shake his head. Famous for what? Isn’t it just having a dog?

Indeed, he had to admit this had nothing to do with him because people can be seen every day, but a dog that acts like a person or a person acting like a dog is a different story.

He had never been proud that his account reached millions of followers because he knew it wasn’t because of himself; it was all thanks to the neurotic dog at home.

And now, this dog has reinvigorated yet another official police account, as comments on Zhu Lili’s side were rapidly increasing, reaching several thousand in no time.

Although most of the traffic was redirected from his account and people were there mainly to see Big Yellow, this was still an official account, and quite a few people started inquiring about his true identity.

Zhu Lili straightforwardly answered that he was a special consultant for the police, indirectly proving his identity, and even went to her comment section, urging this consultant to work hard.

This action exploded in the comment section.

"Just as I thought, he’s a cop! Good thing I never cursed him!"

"Is a consultant a cop?"

"No idea, but probably!"

"A person who might be a cop with a dog that might be a police dog, double negatives become positive, he’s definitely a real cop!"

"How do you know it’s a real police dog and fake cop?"

"Exactly, after all, Big Yellow wasn’t raised by Big Green in just a day or two!"

"Uncle Officer, I’m reporting, someone cursed at you!"

"This is a statement, not an insult. Big Green is indeed relying on Big Yellow, no problem, just check his previous videos to know."

Although some people still didn’t understand whether a police consultant was a cop, old fans knew he had his own workplace at a company, definitely not the traditional sense of a cop, and some even pointed out that his role was similar to an external consultant, not within the system.

After Zhu Lili’s official account left comments in his section, it immediately spurred on other official accounts in Jiangcheng City.

Jiangcheng Police Department: "So you’re a consultant, why not let Big Yellow come work at our department [Dog face emoji]"

Jiangcheng East District Chengguan Street Police Station: "So you’re in the same city as me, please let Big Yellow try the food at our station."

Jiangcheng Fire Department: "We also have rescue dog positions here; bring Big Yellow’s resume for an interview tomorrow!"

Jiangcheng Transportation: "Everyone’s here, I’ll join the fun too, don’t drink and drive, don’t drive and drink, unsafe driving leaves tears for loved ones!"

Very soon, a slew of official accounts flooded Su Qing’s comment section, caught by netizens and pushed to the top.

Now, the first few comments in his section were solely official messages.

Netizens watching one video managed to provoke responses from so many officials, immediately showing twisted smiles.

"Excuse me, does the public security bureau handle matchmaking? I’m a girl, is there any interest in organizing us for a date, I’m so tempted!"

"I’m a guy, no need to earn points, just want this cop as a wife, can you arrange that? What? You can’t, then what’s your use?"

This was the comment under the police’s official post.

"I’m a girl, weighing 160 pounds, my home kitchen is on fire, can a handsome firefighter who can cook come princess-carry me away, preferably between ages 20-28, please reply quickly, thanks!"

Jiangcheng Fire Department: "If I’m guessing right, the fire point should be under the spatula area in the kitchen," your situation seems severe, we can’t assist, please call 120, friendly reminder, given your weight, carrying won’t work, but two people can lift you!"

"Haha, sarcasm, this is sarcasm, I love this official stance!"

This was the comment under the fire department’s official post, as for under Jiangcheng Transportation’s official post, the comments were rather insulting.

"Uncle Traffic Officer, what do I do if I lose my ID card?"

Jiangcheng Transportation: "Pick up your identity, pick up your ID card! [Roars][Roars]"

"He’s panicking, he’s panicking, look, there’s an official getting flustered!"

"Pick up your ears, I’m telling you to pick up your ears!"

A comment directly broke the official’s guard, after all, people had been trolling with this question before, also with traffic police.

One video grew his fan base, confirmed his identity with the officials, even made the officials famous, and drew many official accounts in Jiangcheng for mingling, even attracted some from other provinces to leave comments.

His comment section became an interaction platform for official accounts for a while.

He was pleased, Zhu Lili was pleased, completing the safety promotion task given to him, netizens were happy, it was quite a win-win situation.

Even Big Yellow at home received several official invitations, truly a life’s winner.

However, while some are happy, others naturally feel uneasy. Du Qiang, Lin Chengcai, with quite a part of the criminal investigation police force, showed up in the suburbs, searching up and down around where the body was found yesterday.

They even mobilized police forces from other divisions and police stations in Jiangcheng to conduct investigations and surveys around upstream and downstream villages.

The dismemberment and disposal case, an obvious malicious murder, although no one reported it, it didn’t cause panic among the nearby residents or have particularly adverse effects, but it’s still a major case.

Any case involving loss of life is no small matter, let alone such a heinous crime, naturally requiring an investigation.

"Team Lin, how do we find anything with this? It’s been three months, the bloodstains and footprints have long been washed away by rain, how about we just go to the nearby village to visit and investigate?" Standing on a mountain, Du Qiang said to Lin Chengcai beside him.

Hearing this, Lin Chengcai sighed and glanced at this young man. Since Su Qing arrived, he increasingly felt that people have different mindsets.

Some people are naturally inclined to use their brains, while for others, their brains are just for show. What, don’t use your brain until you’re old and find it’s still 90% new and can fetch a good price?

"If you don’t want to use your brain, just go down and investigate with them, don’t mess with me here, beware I’ll kick you!" After saying this, Lin Chengcai reached into his pocket, took out a cigarette, but couldn’t find a lighter, feeling a bit agitated!

At this moment, Du Qiang stretched out his hand, and with a "snap", a flame leaped from his hand.

Lin Chengcai lit his cigarette and took a puff, but then he was stunned: "Aren’t you a non-smoker? Why do you have a lighter on you?"

"You’re talking about this? I ate something bad yesterday, and when I went to crap just now, I picked it up casually. It was covered in mud, tested it and found it still worked, so I just put it in my pocket."

Upon hearing this, Lin Chengcai looked at the lighter in Du Qiang’s hand, found it was not a brand name but a cheap one-dollar piece from the supermarket, with some dirt still on the metal part.

Suddenly thinking of something, he hurriedly asked, "Where did you pick this up?"

"Just over there, what’s up?" Du Qiang pointed to the bushes at the mountain’s base. Lin Chengcai quickly moved over to look in the direction he pointed, observing the surroundings. Although there was no path where Du Qiang pointed, it was not as hard to traverse as other areas.

Thinking from the killer’s perspective, whether coming to dispose of the body or leaving, they’d naturally find an easy path, as even a person, without mentioning a car, would find trekking arduous on this mountain path.

Carrying a body, one certainly wouldn’t take a more difficult path; one person’s stamina couldn’t handle it.

In such a place, finding a lighter might very well belong to the murderer, and it couldn’t have been left too long ago. The more he thought about it, the more excited he became.

He then looked at Du Qiang and asked, "Did you just pick up the lighter as is, or have you cleaned it?"

"Huh?"

"Huh what, speak up?"

"I just wiped the mud off it, I..."

"You fool, give me the lighter, go and do your business elsewhere!" Lin Chengcai snatched the lighter and kicked Du Qiang in the butt.

This could be evidence, and you’ve cleaned it for me? What if there were fingerprints on it? Although they all wear gloves, who knows if he took them off when he went to take a crap.

Kicked, Du Qiang hurriedly ran away. Seeing this, Lin Chengcai shouted behind him: "Tell them to bring back any cigarette butts they find!"

Though it has been three months and there were several heavy rains, there’s a chance they might find something by luck.

At noon, Su Qing and Zhu Lili came to the cafeteria inside the police bureau, using Zhu Lili’s meal card to get themselves a hearty lunch each.

Not to mention, the food in this cafeteria is honestly good. He even saw fried chicken strips here, which cost six or seven bucks outside for a small portion. There are chicken legs, sweet and sour ribs, Kung Pao chicken, all sorts, and even a bowl of meatball soup. It wouldn’t be cheap if you ordered this as takeout.

"Come on, let me buy you a Coke, thank you and Da Huang for the help, the video went viral, cheers!" Zhu Lili said happily.

In response, Su Qing was also in a pretty good mood, with the video going viral, he earned more money. What could be happier than making money?

"Cheers!"

They clinked glasses, and he started eating. From noon yesterday until now, he only had a small breakfast in the morning and even vomited yesterday. Now that he’s recovered considerably, the aroma of the food made his index finger twitch, so he started devouring the meal, leaving Zhu Lili staring wide-eyed.

"Have you not eaten in days? Eat slower, you can get more if it’s not enough!" Afraid he might choke to death, Zhu Lili hurriedly reminded.

Despite this, Su Qing continued to devour, feeling he wouldn’t last if he didn’t eat soon; he was still young and growing.

But before he’d finished half, his phone suddenly rang. Upon seeing it was a video call from Du Qiang, he instinctively answered without thinking.

"What’s up, Qiang?"

"Geez, we’re out here working hard, and you’re actually eating a meal, wait, why does your background look so familiar?"

In response, Su Qiang turned his phone around: "I’m just in your cafeteria, I must say, the taste is really good. Find some time to get me a meal card too."

"You’re dead meat, you!!"

"Really, you can’t tell me off? Everyone else is working, you’re off hiding, you’re probably just there to take a crap!" Su Qing taunted, statically observing Du Qiang on the phone.

Just as he finished speaking, a voiceover echoed in his mind:

[Some people can’t stomach their meals for a reason; it is advised to hang up immediately, or face severe backlash]

This gave Su Qing a sudden bad feeling, instinctively intending to hang up, but it was too late as Du Qiang suddenly strained within the video:

"Hmm~~ hmm~~ ah~~~ how did you know?"

Su Qing: "Geez, you *@#￥%...&*!"

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