My Wives Are Seven Beautiful Demonesses-Chapter 161 - No. Everybody What’s A Kiss?!

A comedic Chapter after a long disappearance of the MC.

Caution!!!

Enjoy, but without the brain.

***

[Location: Morningstar Manor, New York]

"Errr... Yawn~"

When a droopy yawn left my lips, I woke up with a start—

—and immediately regretted every life decision that had ever led me to this moment.

Because the first thing I saw was Zeraphira, Valeria, Ezravia, Ravvy, and Carmilla glaring at me, though Carmilla’s glare was a playful one.

Gabriel was also there with a cute pout on her face, all the while, Selene was standing with a camera in hand, ready to immortalise my suffering for whatever cursed scrapbook she was apparently building.

Flash.

The shutter clicked.

I hadn’t even finished blinking yet.

"...Why," I croaked, my throat dry, "do I feel like I’ve woken up inside a dating sim boss fight?"

"Because you did," Selene chirped happily, lowering the camera and peeking at the display. "Ooooh~ Look at this one! Your face is like a boiled potato that discovered fear."

Zeraphira crossed her arms, wings twitching.

"Dominic Morningstar," she said sweetly.

That sweetness was fake.

Very fake.

"Do you know," she continued, "how long we’ve been standing here?"

"...Long enough to invent new ways to threaten me?"

Ezravia smiled.

It was the kind of smile that made wars start.

"Three minutes and forty-two seconds," she said politely. "But it felt like a small eternity."

Valeria leaned closer, pink hair brushing my cheek, eyes sparkling with dangerous curiosity.

"Morning, hubby~"

Ravvy popped up from the other side, chewing on what I was pretty sure was a croissant the size of my head.

"D–Darling, good morning! Did you sleep well?" she asked, her black hair slightly messy, crumbs clinging to her lips as she smiled shyly.

I stared at her.

Then at the croissant.

Then back at the semicircle of women surrounding my bed, like I was a sacrificial offering.

"...I feel," I said slowly, "like my answer may determine whether I leave this room alive."

"That depends," Valeria hummed, leaning even closer. Her finger traced an idle line on my chest, right over the blanket. "On whether you remember what you did before going to sleep?"

My brain immediately threw an error.

Before going to sleep?

Completed the Vampire King’s Castle dungeon?

Encountered Valeria, Erzavia, and Ravvy?

Got beaten by Ares?

Talked myself out of Zeus and Ares’ grip?

... Asking Grayfia for a good night kiss?

!!!

This is it!

Slap!

I slapped myself on the forehead as I remembered they were watching me from the outside.

"Oh~ you look like you do remember?"

"...Where is Eris? I miss my kiddo..." I tried to—

Valeria’s finger poked my forehead.

Hard.

"Nope," she said brightly. "Nice try, deflection wizard. You’re not escaping this with the ’concerned father’ card."

Ezravia nodded solemnly. "An admirable attempt. Statistically ineffective."

Ravvy gasped. "D–Darling tried to change the topic...! That means he’s guilty, right?!"

I pointed at Zeraphira first.

Then Gabriel.

Then Selene.

"I can understand Valeria, Ezravia, and Ravvy being... surprised," I said carefully, choosing words like I was defusing a bomb. "Possibly angry. Maybe emotionally unstable in a homicidal way. That checks out."

Valeria smiled sweetly.

That was not reassuring.

"But you three?" I continued quickly, jabbing a finger toward the others. "You’ve seen me kiss Grayfia before. Multiple times. You were there. So why are you acting like I committed some cosmic felony?"

Zeraphira’s eye twitched.

Gabriel stiffened.

Selene stopped fiddling with her camera.

Oh.

That silence was not a good sign.

Zeraphira stepped forward.

Slowly.

Deliberately.

The kind of step that said I am calm, which was always a lie.

"You kissed her," Zeraphira said gently, "in front of everyone."

"...Yes?"

"And," she continued, smiling faintly, "you did it without understanding what it meant."

I blinked.

"I—what?"

Gabriel raised her hand timidly.

"U–Um... Dominic...?" she asked softly.

"Yes, Gabriel?"

Her cheeks puffed slightly, like she was mustering courage for a speech she had practised in her head but never expected to give out loud.

"I–I asked Selene what a kiss means," she said earnestly. "Because... I wasn’t sure. And she explained it to me."

Selene grinned instantly.

Oh no.

"I gave her the deluxe edition," Selene said proudly. "With diagrams."

"Why would there be diagrams?" I demanded.

"Educational purposes," Selene replied. "And bonus content."

Gabriel nodded seriously. "She said... a kiss can mean affection. Or promise. Or bonding. Or claiming."

My soul attempted to leave my body.

"Claiming?" I croaked.

Ezravia tilted her head. "Oh? You didn’t know?"

Valeria giggled. "Aww~ hubby didn’t know."

Ravvy gasped softly, covering her mouth. "D–Darling... you didn’t know that a kiss can be... um... that kind of thing?"

"I thought it was just—!" I stopped, because literally every possible ending to that sentence sounded worse out loud.

Zeraphira sighed.

A deep, long sigh.

"One of the reasons," she said calmly, "why angels historically monitor demon nobility... is because demon customs are dangerously casual about intimacy."

"That feels like a you problem," I muttered.

She ignored me.

"When you kiss someone," Zeraphira continued, "without clarification, context, or witnesses consenting to the implications—"

"We were all witnesses," Valeria cut in brightly.

"Yes," Zeraphira replied, eyes narrowing. "That’s the problem."

I looked around.

Ezravia was smiling politely, eyes sharp.

Valeria was practically vibrating with excitement.

Ravvy was blushing so hard she looked like she might faint.

Gabriel looked conflicted, earnest, and deeply confused.

Selene was filming again.

Carmilla lounged against the wall, amused.

Grayfia was conspicuously absent.

"...Okay," I said slowly. "Someone please explain to me why I’m being judged like I accidentally started a holy war."

Valeria leaned in until her forehead touched mine.

"Because," she whispered happily, "you kissed another woman before kissing us."

Silence.

My brain blue-screened.

"...What?"

Ezravia nodded. "Chronology matters."

Ravvy squeaked. "I–I thought... since we’re... um... f–fiancées..."

Valeria tilted her head. "Is it rude to skip the order?"

Zeraphira pinched the bridge of her nose.

Selene snorted. "Bro skipped six romance routes and went straight to the secret maid ending."

"I DID NOT—"

Valeria clapped her hands. "Meeting adjourned! We’ve identified the crime."

Ezravia smiled. "Now we determine the punishment."

"No no no—!" I scrambled upright in bed, clutching the blanket like a shield. "Listen to me! Grayfia is— Grayfia is different!"

Every eye snapped to me.

That was a mistake.

"Oh?" Valeria purred.

"How so?" Ezravia asked.

"D–Different how?" Ravvy whispered.

Gabriel leaned closer. "Is she... special?"

Zeraphira’s gaze sharpened.

Selene zoomed in.

I swallowed.

"Grayfia," I said carefully, "is... my guardian. My protector. She’s been with me since before I was even born. She’s injured. Her core is damaged. She’s loyal to a fault. I asked for a kiss because—"

"Because you wanted comfort," Gabriel said softly.

"...Yes."

"Because you trusted her," Zeraphira added.

"...Yes."

"Because you emotionally depended on her," Ezravia finished.

"...That sounds worse when you say it like that."

Valeria hummed thoughtfully.

"So," she concluded, "you emotionally bonded with another woman in front of us."

"That’s—!"

"That’s actually very romantic," Ravvy whispered.

"I AM BEING MISUNDERSTOOD."

Carmilla finally spoke, smiling slyly. "Oh darling... You really don’t understand, do you?"

"I would love to."

"In demon aristocracy," Carmilla explained lazily, "a kiss is a declaration of priority unless explicitly stated otherwise."

I froze.

"...Priority."

"Yes," Ezravia said. "Hierarchy of affection."

My soul tried to leave again.

Zeraphira crossed her arms. "Which puts Grayfia... very high."

I turned pale.

"I DID NOT MEAN THAT."

Selene cackled. "Too late! Canon event!"

Gabriel tugged on my sleeve gently. "Dominic... does that mean... You don’t want to kiss me?"

The room went dead silent.

Oh.

That question.

That was a landmine.

I looked at Gabriel’s wide, innocent eyes.

At Ravvy’s nervous hope.

At Ezravia’s sharp curiosity.

At Valeria’s mischievous anticipation.

At Zeraphira’s unreadable gaze.

I sighed.

"...I didn’t know it was a competition."

Valeria beamed. "Everything is."

Ezravia nodded. "Especially affection."

Ravvy clasped her hands. "B–But... we can take turns... r–right?"

Selene pumped a fist. "Tournament arc!"

"No tournament arc," Zeraphira snapped.

Gabriel blinked. "W–What’s a tournament?"

"Never mind," I said quickly. "Please never learn. And why the fuck do you want a kiss? You are an archangel for fuck’s sake!

In an instant, I was glared at by all the occupants with intensity enough to make the Morningstar Manor briefly reconsider its own architectural integrity.

The walls did not crack.

But they did listen.

Gabriel recoiled like I’d just told her Santa wasn’t real.

"E–Eh...?" she squeaked. "B–But... I thought... um..."

Her wings drooped.

Instantly.

My heart committed ritual suicide.

"Oh no," I muttered. "Oh no no no no no—"

Zeraphira turned on me so fast, I swear reality lagged.

"Dominic Morningstar," she said with angelic calm, which was the most dangerous kind, "what exactly are you implying?"

"That angels don’t kiss," I said weakly.

Valeria tilted her head. "Why not?"

Ezravia adjusted her glasses. "Historical precedent suggests they absolutely do."

Selene raised her hand. "Fanfiction confirms it."

Ravvy gasped. "A–Angels can kiss?!"

Gabriel’s face went red enough to qualify as a fire hazard.

"I–I can?!"

I slapped both hands over my face.

"I walked into that. I walked into that so hard."

Zeraphira stepped closer.

"Explain," she ordered.

I peeked through my fingers.

"I meant... you’re pure. Holy. Divine. Kissing is... intimate. I didn’t want to... disrespect you."

Gabriel blinked.

Then blinked again.

Then—

Her eyes sparkled.

"You... didn’t want to disrespect me?"

"...Yes?"

She smiled.

A soft, radiant, heart-melting smile.

"That’s very kind, Dominic."

Valeria gagged dramatically. "Ugh, he’s accidentally charming again."

Ezravia sighed. "Statistically improbable. Yet consistent."

Ravvy clasped her hands tighter. "D–Darling is gentle..."

Selene zoomed in. "This is better than season three."

Zeraphira stared at Gabriel.

Then at me.

Then back at Gabriel.

"...You realise," she said slowly, "that now she will never let this go."

Gabriel shuffled forward.

Tiny steps.

Like a kitten approaching a laser pointer.

"Dominic...?" she asked softly. "If... if angels can kiss... then... would you... um..."

She stopped right in front of my bed.

Looked up at me.

"...Want to?"

The room stopped breathing.

Even Valeria went quiet.

I stared at her.

This was not a boss fight.

This was the final exam.

"...Is this a trick?"

Gabriel shook her head immediately. "N–No! I just... I want to understand. And... I want to be closer to you."

Selene whispered loudly, "Holy route unlocked."

Zeraphira facepalmed.

Ezravia leaned in. "Probability of rejection causing emotional damage: high."

Ravvy whimpered. "P–Please be nice to her..."

Valeria crossed her arms. "Don’t you dare crush the angel."

I swallowed.

"Gabriel... a kiss isn’t a prize," I said gently. "It’s not something you ask for because everyone else wants one."

She tilted her head. "Then... why do I want one?"

"...Because you’re curious," I said. "And because you’re kind. And because you care. That’s enough."

Her wings fluttered.

"...Does that mean yes?"

Zeraphira muttered, "We have lost control of the situation."

I sighed.

"...Okay," I said softly. "But just a small one. On the forehead. Educational."

Selene shrieked. "FOREHEAD KISS ENDING?!"

Valeria groaned. "Coward."

Ezravia nodded. "Respectable compromise."

Ravvy smiled so hard she nearly cried.

Gabriel stepped closer.

I leaned forward.

And gently pressed my lips to her forehead.

For half a second.

That was it.

The light that exploded was not metaphorical.

Gabriel froze.

Then—

"...Oh," she whispered.

Her wings unfurled with a soft glow.

"That’s... warm."

Zeraphira stared.

Valeria stared.

Ezravia stared.

Ravvy stared.

Selene screamed.

"I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT—"

Carmilla clapped lazily. "Well. That happened."

Gabriel touched her forehead.

Then looked at me with awe.

"...I understand now."

"...Understand what?"

She smiled.

"...Why everyone is fighting?"

Valeria cracked her knuckles. "My turn."

"No," Zeraphira snapped.

"Yes," Ezravia countered.

Ravvy squeaked. "I–I should go after Gabriel..."

Selene yelled, "ROMANCE BATTLE ROYALE—"

I flopped back onto the bed.

"...Someone please save me."

The Morningstar Manor did not respond.

It was laughing.

***

Stone me, I can take it!

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