Naruto: Uchiha's Unserious Saga-Chapter 363: Thank You, Sage, for All the Bloodshed

Funan finally began to understand what the Sage of Six Paths had been doing all along.

To fight against the Ōtsutsuki clan—he needed an army too.

And his methods far surpassed Kaguya’s.

Kaguya merely wanted to turn the entire Shinobi World into her breeding ground—a base to cultivate warriors.

But!

As Funan had said—how many people really lived in the Shinobi World?

Even if she uprooted every last one, it would still fall short of what’s needed to fight the Ōtsutsuki.

After a few large-scale battles, there’d be nothing left.

However, if the Shinobi World was allowed to flourish, the number of warriors in the Pure Land would keep rising.

And they didn’t need food or water.

Kaguya’s idea was a one-time harvest.

It couldn’t compare to Hagoromo’s long-term, sustainable plan.

Funan shivered.

A more terrifying thought occurred to him.

The Shinobi World had gone through so many large-scale wars, each one dragging in every major force. Could Hagoromo have been behind them all?

No—

It went even further back!

The birth of the Shinobi Sect!

Yes—

It was the Sage of Six Paths who taught humanity how to use chakra, how to perform jutsu.

And that was the beginning of the Shinobi World Wars.

Why did he teach them?

Did he never consider just leaving things be, letting people live ordinary, peaceful lives?

What if—

From the rise of the Shinobi Sect, to the appearance of shinobi, to the founding of villages, to the eruption of wars... it was all orchestrated by Hagoromo from the very start.

All for one purpose: to feed the Pure Land with more warriors!

Think about it—

If everyone had remained normal, non-chakra-using people, would there have been so many wars?

At the very least, they wouldn’t have produced so many world-shattering powerhouses.

Surely nothing beyond the scale of Sengoku-era warlords from Funan’s previous life?

A single Kage-level shinobi—or even a particularly strong Jōnin—could easily annihilate an entire city full of civilians.

The destructive power was simply too high.

And then there were the repeated reincarnations of Asura and Indra.

Wars bred even more powerful shinobi.

And because of the wars, people had to give birth at younger and younger ages.

Back in the Warring States period, it was completely normal to get married and have children at just ten years old.

Which meant: more souls, more warriors in the Pure Land.

"Oh my god..."

Funan was shaken by his own wild train of thought.

He recalled that the root of every major war traced back to Indra and Asura.

Why did they oppose each other?

Because of the Sage!

Who spread the rumors that Indra had gone astray?

The Sage!

It was the Sage of Six Paths who told Asura, before dying, that Indra had visited him—and planned to pass on his hatred, eventually reshaping the Shinobi World in his image.

Thus, Asura began reincarnating as well.

Their endless cycles of conflict drove the Shinobi World’s rapid growth while plunging it into chaos and suffering.

"Damn it, Sage of Six Paths—fuck you!"

The more Funan thought about it, the more convinced he became that his suspicions were correct. He couldn’t help but curse aloud on the spot.

Kaguya: "..."

Black Zetsu poked his head out, glaring daggers at Funan with a ’Don’t you dare hurt my mom’ expression.

"Ahem!" Funan gave a dry cough and said, "Princess Kaguya, don’t get the wrong idea. I just thought of something terrifying—it gave me a bit of a shock."

Kaguya stared coldly at Funan.

But Funan ignored her, once again falling into deep thought.

At the root of all this... the problem lay with the Sage of Six Paths.

He had always favored Indra as his successor. When everyone assumed Indra would inherit everything, the Sage suddenly chose Asura instead, delivering a brutal slap in the face to his elder son.

His reasoning? ’A person who only understands power cannot lead this world. What it needs... is love.’

Funan complained madly in his mind.

If the world needs love, then why give power to Asura?

Why not just tell him to go love and enlighten Indra?

To go spread love across the world?

They were both the Sage’s children. Indra was even the eldest son, widely recognized as the heir. And in the end? He didn’t get anything.

Who wouldn’t lose it under those circumstances?

You seriously want us to believe this wasn’t deliberate?

Your whole goal was to make them fight each other to the death. And you couldn’t let one overpower the other too much either.

If the power gap were too large, what would be the point of the fight?

But if it were just right—just unbalanced enough—it would drag out the conflict.

That way, the chaos in the Shinobi World would never end... and the Pure Land would gain more and more warriors.

Back when Asura was weaker, you gave him all the power.

He took a deep breath and looked up at Kaguya’s delicate face.

He needed... a distraction. Something to calm himself down.

Kaguya’s expression turned even colder.

She didn’t know what he was thinking, but just from the way he was looking at her—it was clearly inappropriate.

Her voice came out ice-cold. "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing," Funan replied with a sheepish grin. "Princess Kaguya, may I ask... what’s your opinion of the Sage of Six Paths—your son, Hagoromo?"

Kaguya’s tone was sharp and chilly: "Opinion? That child is very clever. And his eyes—they seem to see through everything."

She glanced at Funan but said nothing more.

Hagoromo’s eyes reminded her of Funan’s.

That same gaze, as if they could pierce through to the very essence of all things.

"Is that so..."

But his preconceived notions had taken root. Now, no matter how he looked at it, everything felt like part of Hagoromo’s long game.

"Sigh..." Funan let out a long breath and muttered, "Kaguya, you really gave birth to a fine son."

Kaguya: "?"

That expression on your face...

Something’s not right.

Definitely not right!

"Enough nonsense," Kaguya said coldly. "All I want to know is when you’re going to restore my power and start building my army."

"Don’t be so hasty!" Funan sighed again. "You’ve already waited this long. Does it really matter if you wait a few more days... a few months... even a few years?"

"Mother, did you hear what he just said?" Black Zetsu immediately chimed in. "This Uchiha Funan guy—mmph!"

Funan shot him a cold, quiet glare and said in a calm voice, "What about me?"

"H-He’s actually... pretty good," Black Zetsu instantly gave in. "But Mother, we really can’t afford to waste time. Don’t forget—there’s still Hagoromo. And Hamura too!"

Kaguya silently nodded.

"Half a year," Funan said after a moment’s thought. "In half a year, I’ll restore a portion of your power. Enough to show results—how’s that?"

"As for the army... Black Zetsu, tell me how you made the White Zetsu."

Funan stared at Black Zetsu with a strange smile. "You wouldn’t want to disappoint your mother, would you?"

Black Zetsu hesitated slightly, then said, "I’ll tell you. Besides, it requires a lot of resources anyway. Not many people in the Shinobi World could pull it off besides you."

"But... Mother’s power..."

"Didn’t I just say it?" Funan’s brow twitched. "In half a year, you’ll see results. If you don’t believe me, we can go back to fighting. I’m telling you—right now, I’m really pissed off."

Black Zetsu: "..."

"Mother!"

He’s threatening me!

...

The war came to an abrupt halt.

Peace arrived.

So suddenly!

When the news spread, many people were left in a daze.

It was just too unexpected.

But!

Regardless of their expressions or what was going through their minds, people had to keep moving forward.

The higher-ups had an overwhelming workload—they had no time to concern themselves with what the lower ranks were thinking.

The three remaining villages began working together to handle postwar affairs.

There was still a massive amount of work.

Fortunately—

The number of casualties wasn’t too high.

The shinobi world finally snapped out of its trance and, swept up in this hard-won peace, began to celebrate.

No more war.

Even though the conflict hadn’t lasted long, it had kept everyone on edge.

And then—

Postwar reparations.

Postwar reconstruction.

Hunting down the remnants.

These became the dominant themes of the shinobi world.

Sunagakure and Kirigakure had become Konoha’s complete vassals.

With a wave of his hand, Funan deployed Konoha personnel to live in both villages, while relocating half of their populations to Konoha or its surrounding areas.

Especially members of bloodline clans—even if they didn’t move to Konoha directly, there had to be personnel exchanges. No one was allowed to stay put.

The three villages began to merge.

Personnel, ninjutsu, customs—

Everything.

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