Pretending to Be an Untouchable Crime Boss-Chapter 396: Pills.

The silence between Linda and Thomas was the kind of silence where neither of them needed to say anything, because both of them already understood that this was the only path left in front of them. It was not the type of silence filled with confusion, panic, or anger. It was the type of silence that came when people finally accepted a truth they had been trying to avoid for far too long, when they had spent so much time pretending there were still other choices left that they almost forgot what reality looked like.

More than anything, the silence itself felt like proof to Linda that what Thomas had just said was the reality they could no longer escape from.

It was a reality so huge, so terrible, and so impossible that it almost felt unreal, yet at the same time it was the only true way out of everything, even if it sounded outrageous, insane, and completely impossible to the people outside of the room. Linda had always known that one day something like this could happen.

In her mind, she had always imagined handling everything in a more political way, in a more democratic way, in a way where there was still time left to save the country before everything collapsed. She imagined a future where she would run for the presidential seat, and deep down she knew that if that had happened, she could have become president without much trouble.

People love her.

To the public, she is the woman behind all the arrests, the woman who brings down gangs, criminals, corrupt officers, and powerful men who believe they are untouchable. In their eyes, she is some kind of hero, someone who stands up when nobody else wants to, someone who is willing to get her hands dirty while the rest of the government hides behind speeches and promises.

People trust her.

People respect her.

Many of them believe she is the only honest person left in the entire government. If she announced her candidacy tomorrow, they would follow her without hesitation. They would vote for her because they still believe in her, because they still believe she can save the country when nobody else can.

But there is no way to do it like that anymore.

No matter how much she wants it, it is impossible. By the time the election comes, the country will already collapse on its own. The earthquake has most likely delivered the last stab into the body of the nation, and now all everybody can do is wait for it to bleed out slowly until there is nothing left to save. 𝕗𝕣𝐞𝐞𝘄𝐞𝚋𝚗𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹.𝚌𝕠𝚖

"All of what we did now means nothing." Linda said as she laughed and it was the kind of laugh that came when the stress became too much to hide. "The operations against the gangs, the cartels, all of it means nothing now. Crime is already climbing up. People are looting stores, homes, and businesses. The gangs and the cartels are becoming stronger again because the soldiers guarding the border were pulled back." She shook her hand in frustration. "We arrested hundreds of people, and we killed hundreds more, but now it feels like none of it mattered. It feels like all we did was slow them down for a little while before everything went back to the way it used to be. "We killed hundreds of people for nothing at all." She laughed again before leaning back in her chair, staring down at the ground beneath her feet as the scene she had just repaired in her mind replayed itself.

The scene when they raided that house, when they killed the children and the mother, they killed an entire family for the greater good, yet now that greater good was nowhere to be found, and she had realized that it had never been for any greater good at all, they had simply murdered them for nothing.

Linda is far from a monster, she can handle it, she can even try to push it down, since she has witnessed it, she is unable to sleep without pills, and even those pills do nothing because those children always appear in her mind, and now it has only gotten worse as their death was truly for nothing at all.

"The pills, Linda." Thomas sighed as he pulled a small medicine container from his pocket. "You know this is poison, right?" He asked with a faint smile on his face. "A pill that numbs you. A pill that pushes emotions aside. A pill that makes you human... what a medicine it is." He paused, looking at her. "But you know it’s a poison, one that slowly kills anyone who uses it, day by day. I’ve been using it since I became an agent... Benjamin, Stephen, me. When we speak about pain... our legs, our hands, our heads, anything, it’s because of this." He shook the container lightly. "It’s poison, but we keep taking it, because it doesn’t just push away our emotions... it torments us, reminds us of what we’ve become, and that this is all we can do. We can’t shoot ourselves. We can’t slit our veins or throw ourselves off a building... that would be pathetic. We’ve killed so many, yet we can’t let ourselves go the easy way." After a brief silence, Thomas threw the pill container into her lap. "Feel it, Linda. Feel the pain and torment... because that’s all we have left to do."

Silence followed, not just because of what Thomas said, but because of the realization that came with it. The realization that the pills Linda had been taking all this time were actually poison. She had never questioned them, never thought about it... she had assumed they were simple sedatives. But now she understood that they were slowly killing her. And as she thought about it more, she realized why the agents’ suicide rate was so high, not only because of the horrors and terror they faced in the field, but because the pills themselves amplified the pain so intensely that some took their own lives.

These are pills that push you toward suicide in the end. And for those who don’t give in, for those who don’t end their lives with their own hands, the pills continue their work until they destroy the body completely, taking the last breath by the slow, inevitable poison coursing through their veins.

The limping of Stephen, the headaches of Benjamin, the pale skin of Thomas... all of them endure it, feeling every drop of pain. They punish themselves for what they have done.

"I am going to tell Benjamin and Stpehen about William. So be ready to make plans and it would be good to talk with James too."

"You want me to... poison myself...?" Linda’s voice trembled as she looked at Thomas and her eyes were strange. She looked like someone offended by it like she wanted more and more to live, someone who didn’t want to die.

"It’s up to you, Linda." Thomas began as he opened the door and looked back at her. "But it’s better to slowly die than live a long life like this."