Re: Timeless Apocalypse-Chapter 69: Die

Uriel spent long minutes reassuring Ayah.

Her worry was warranted; she’d seen him dead and skewered just moments ago. For the both of them, such brutality was supposed to be entirely novel, traumatising experiences that would define them.

But it was hard to explain to her that such gory methods of torture weren’t necessarily new to him.

His grandmother was quite creative, and had somehow been able to tear and stitch him back together more times than he dared count even before the apocalypse, before any supernatural ability.

It was a miracle he wasn’t a canvas of scars and leathery skin.

...

Enoch was fine, already used to the gore and suffering associated with battle, while Ayah was more restless than she’d ever been, her thirst for power pouring out of her in waves.

But Uriel still seemed dazed, for some reason.

In an ideal world, they’d have the time to return and rest for a few days, lounge and laze around until they mentally recovered, but no such luxury was afforded to the weak.

The end was coming, and they had to be ready.

This battle had been more of a wake-up call than anything else.

The former two left towards the Nihil Shop, taking note of everything Uriel wanted to buy, while he himself went back home, alone and in silence.

WHOOOSH!

He walked through the streets of the settlement, veiled and hooded, his presence entirely muted. His metallic boots pressed onto the soaked stone beneath him, and droplets of water slid down his scholar’s set.

Soft winds blew his long hair along.

’I feel... weird.’ He couldn’t shake the sensation off.

The formation of Ayah’s class, the reward of the system, and their simulated expedition had all happened in relatively rapid succession, but it wasn’t anything necessarily new.

He was getting used to jumping from scene to scene without rest.

But when the system had perfected and then imprinted the class creation method into his mind, the after-effect of his mind expanding seemed to linger.

He felt nostalgic.

’I felt my flesh tear, my bones break, and I saw more of my blood than I ever had before. The pain was excruciating, and it felt like the world was collapsing onto me.’

He thought back to his death in the simulation.

’Dying was... sad. I felt regret. I was scared. And I was angry. It felt like I was falling into a slumber of eternal agony I’d never be able to escape.’

’Like all of reality was becoming a solid expanse of writhing hands, clamping onto me and suffocating my flesh and mind alike.’

He smiled, softly.

’Is this what Enoch went through every time? Or is death even worse in real life?’

He brushed past dozens of people, exiting the crater district and heading towards the residential zones near the emporium, where Ayah lived.

The crowd thickened, a huge sea of humans surrounding him, each drenched by the rain. and the chatter became a constant buzz none could fully shut out.

Surprisingly, he wasn’t overwhelmed as he’d usually be. In fact, it only seemed to calm him more.

’He didn’t really seem fazed by any of his injuries. Nor did he seem to care about my corpse, or Ayah’s clear despair and panic.’

’How many times has he seen us dead for his reaction to be so muted? At what point does such apathy disqualify him from his humanity?’

He hummed.

’Do I even care myself? I didn’t react much either.’

He wondered why.

His body had been torn apart and he’d essentially experienced death, though virtual, but it had been brutal and violent nonetheless. 𝘧𝘳𝘦ℯ𝓌𝘦𝒷𝘯𝑜𝑣𝘦𝓁.𝒸𝘰𝓂

Why did he feel so detached from it?

’I guess it’s because I don’t see any meaning to it. Or purpose, for that matter. Is there even any meaning in the path I walk now? How is it different from death?’

Once the barrier fell, he and the others would traverse the forest, fighting untold horrors and becoming kin with death itself, exploring depths none of them had ever seen before.

They’d wade through all the zones of the dungeon, possibly finding other allies from Enoch’s past, fighting simply to survive.

And then what?

They’d go back to their planet, or whatever it would be by the end of the dungeon, and fight even more horrors, rebuild civilisation, and protect themselves.

And... then what?

Enoch had a goal. Ayah had a goal and a mission.

What did he have?

For the longest time, he’d lived without hope, but that spark had been lit once more when he’d learned that Arthur and Lilith, his childhood friends from the church, were alive.

But now that they were alive, what followed?

They both probably had their goals and ambitions, their desires and aspirations.

What did he have?

What was strange was that all the tools were given to him to strive for more.

He had a rather complicated and mysterious past regarding his family, who were apparently called the Loom, as he’d discovered after the cloud trial.

He also had many questions left unanswered from the church and his grandmother, as well as her strange methods; how she healed him, how she tore him down during his childhood.

There was also the fact that he’d been wrongfully imprisoned and tortured for years, for nothing.

There was Lirik and his clients. Thoryl and his plans. Salazar and his desire to see him dead. And so much more.

To most, unravelling this world of mysteries buried in his past would be more than enough for a lifetime of aspiration and desire.

But it all just felt hollow.

Uriel’s hand moved to his chest, caressing the mark he’d etched there. As his fingers made contact, he remembered the storm of emotions he’d felt that day.

Power. Perfection. Freedom. Control. Greatness.

These were clashing hopes and desires he could sense within the scar.

But it felt hollow.

Everything felt meaningless.

’I’ll be dead in a year anyway. I’d rather die with nothing to cling to. Surely that ought to hurt less than having things to live for, and peaks to climb.’

’I’d rather die hollow and at peace, hopefully forgotten soon after.’

He smiled.