Reborn with Steve Stand-Chapter 835: The Price of Saving the World

“Uhh…”

Fang Mo was pretty baffled as he stared at the woman before him.

Of course, it wasn’t that she was so beautiful that certain parts of Fang Mo’s body were reacting—though, admittedly, this “bedrock golem maid” did have an impressively attractive face. The real issue was something else.

Fang Mo knitted his brow, sizing her up.

She was a tall, statuesque woman with softly waving, ash-gray hair that seemed quite voluminous. Her facial features were surprisingly refined, with thin lips, a neat little nose, and smooth, wheat-colored skin—all topped off by wine-red eyes. Ordinarily, you’d call that a solid 10/10 beauty, right?

But two things about her really stood out for Fang Mo.

First, her figure was so exaggerated it almost crossed the line. Even though she was half-embedded in the floorboards, Fang Mo could still guess her approximate height by comparing her to the doorframe—and she had to be at least six-foot-three [190 cm] or taller. Her physique, too, was incredibly solid. Maybe you wouldn’t say she had the build of a gorilla, but she radiated raw power.

She had no visible excess fat anywhere, and her…pecs were unusually developed. Fang Mo swore this was the biggest chest he’d ever seen; someone like Tsunade [from Naruto] couldn’t hold a candle to her.

Second, there was her expression.

Perhaps because her original form was a bedrock golem, her lovely face was stuck in a vacant stare. It wasn’t the cute kind of vacant you might call “moe”; it was more… well, like someone who’s genuinely dim-witted.

“Damn, these things are bigger than my head…”

Fang Mo looked at the bedrock golem embedded in the floor and felt a bit overwhelmed.

The notes for the monster-girl mod had said that a transformed creature would match his “personal aesthetics,” right? But here was this towering “hulk of a hottie”—and that seemed impossible to align with his tastes. Sure, those giant mel— …er, well, they were pretty over the top, but still…

“Hmm…”

Staring at the newly human-shaped golem, Fang Mo fell into thought. He glanced around to make sure no one was there, then crouched down and tentatively poked her twice with a single finger.

As for the sensation…

Fang Mo suddenly remembered a classic quote from “Brother Jie” [a meme or reference about muscular physiques in Chinese internet slang]: “These muscles are pretty darn solid…”

Yes, now that the bedrock golem was humanoid, her body felt similar to a normal person’s. Her arm—well, definitely an arm—felt warm to the touch and very firm. Beneath her skin, he could sense dense, springy muscles.

“?”

Apparently puzzled by Fang Mo’s actions, the bedrock golem blinked.

“Feels about the same as a normal person.”

Fang Mo didn’t dwell on it. He was fully focused on exploring the mod. After a moment’s thought, he pulled out his Mǎyù Língpī Dāo [玛玉灵劈刀, literally “Jade Spirit Chop Saber”] from behind him. ȑἈℕó₿ÈṠ

“Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing?”

As soon as the saber emerged, it began chattering. But then it noticed the bedrock golem embedded in the floor and couldn’t help but exclaim, “Holy—! Those things are bigger than Boss’s head!”

“Could you not stir up trouble?”

Fang Mo’s face darkened. He immediately raised the saber, pointing its blade at the bedrock golem.

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Yes, he planned to test the golem’s defensive capabilities. Even though she felt like a normal living being to the touch, the mod description had mentioned that a monster-girl’s transformation wouldn’t affect its original stats.

That was also how it worked in Minecraft: a “moe-ified” Creeper would still blow itself up in a player’s face.

“Wait…why the blade?”

Seeing himself being lifted and aimed at the golem, the saber paused in confusion. “Boss, is this…your patient?”

“Something like that.”

Fang Mo didn’t want to explain, so he brushed it off.

“Dude! Aim for right there!”

The saber got excited and redirected its blade toward the center of the golem’s chest. “Boss, go straight in here. I’ve never asked you for anything else in my whole life…”

“…What kind of trash weapon are you?”

Fang Mo was a bit speechless. “You’re into giant boobs, huh? Alright, let me grant your wish.”

“What do you mean I’m trash? I’m your strongest—”

Before the saber could finish, it was bathed in a white glow.

Moments later, the saber vanished, and in its place stood a slender human figure. As the radiance faded, her new appearance became clear.

She looked like a high-school–aged girl with bright purple eyes and cat ears. Her short hair and cat ears were black on the outside and purple on the inside, giving off a delinquent—or maybe a slightly emo—vibe. Her round face carried a proud, smug expression.

Worth noting: she wasn’t wearing any clothes. Yet she had her hands on her hips, head cocked back arrogantly, giving off a weirdly comedic vibe—more like some variety-show clown than anything else.

Sensing Fang Mo’s gaze, the now-human saber realized something was wrong.

“…Huh?”

She blinked, took one look at herself, and immediately squealed, “Holy crap! I… I’ve got boobs now?!”

But in the next second, she realized something else was off.

“Wait a minute…” Her expression changed as if she’d just snapped back to reality. She instinctively groped below her waist, then let out a scream. “Where’s my handle?! Dude, my huge saber handle—where is it?!”

“Tossed it.”

Fang Mo rolled his eyes, then pulled out a small dagger to jab it into the bedrock golem.

The sharp blade pressed against the golem’s skin, dimpling it slightly. But very quickly, Fang Mo felt massive resistance, as if he were stabbing solid rock. The dagger couldn’t even scratch her surface.

“Just as I thought.”

Seeing that the golem was uninjured, Fang Mo nodded with satisfaction.

So she had only changed in appearance; she remained the same indestructible bedrock golem at her core.

But that led Fang Mo’s mind to a sudden question: If bedrock was, theoretically, impossible to damage, then… was there anyone who could actually, well…penetrate her?

“Hmm?”

He couldn’t help musing over that, then recalled another detail: the saber itself also had an “Indestructible” enhancement. So, technically, it couldn’t be harmed either. Fang Mo glanced over at the cat-ear girl.

“B-Boss, what’re you up to?”

She wasn’t as clueless as the golem. Realizing what Fang Mo might have in mind, she immediately clutched her chest and backed away. “Boss, please, don’t. I… you can go, um, ‘mess with’ that big dummy instead, okay?”

“?”

The embedded bedrock golem blinked, confused.

Fortunately, footsteps came from outside just then, followed by a knock on the door.

“Fang Mo?”

Logan’s cautious voice came through. “I heard something weird just now… everything okay in there?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s fine.”

Fang Mo replied coolly.

“Really?”

Logan didn’t sound convinced. “Because I heard a girl screaming just now. Are you sure you’re not up to something? Let me take a look—”

There was a thud as the old-fashioned lock gave way. Logan broke in from outside.

Simultaneously, the cat-ear girl had just finished hastily pulling on an oversized black hoodie and a pair of black silk tights. It was probably her first time wearing clothes, so she looked a bit uncomfortable.

As for the bedrock golem in the floor, Fang Mo figured she wouldn’t even understand what clothes were, given her low IQ. So he simply tossed a hunk of Shoggoth “mimic flesh” onto her, letting it form into a tracksuit.

“What in the…”

When Logan stepped inside, he momentarily froze.

He instantly saw the catgirl on the sofa—who looked about high-school–aged, clearly still a kid—and the giant, dull-eyed woman drooling and stuck in the floor, apparently out of it.

“Where’d you pick up this big dummy?”

Logan pressed a hand to his forehead, sounding exasperated.

“What do you mean, picked up?!”

Fang Mo bristled. “They’re my… underlings. Don’t say stuff when you don’t know what’s going on.”

“Does your wife know about this?”

Logan asked.

“Uh…”

Fang Mo’s expression stiffened. “She… She said she wanted to, uh… join me in— ahem, never mind. She usually doesn’t care about these things.”

“You sure?”

“Alright, fine.”

Fang Mo shrugged. “To be honest, I created them. Originally, they didn’t look like this… But I’m testing a new ability right now.”

“What sort of ability?”

Logan asked.

“The Hand of Singlehood Bliss.”

Fang Mo raised his right hand. “With this, you’ll never be a lonely single dog again…”

“Don’t you already have a wife? Why would you still need your hand?”

Logan’s brow furrowed in confusion. “You’re not telling me you’re afraid of the FBI, are you?”

“?”

Fang Mo nearly choked. “What, you think my ability is…‘jerk-off powers’ or something?”

“Isn’t it?”

“I…”

Fang Mo’s eyebrow twitched. As if he, a mighty dimensional demon-god, would resort to something so pathetic. Enough was enough. He raised his hand. “C’mon, gimme your cigar. I’ll show you something.”

“Cigar? Why?”

Logan was puzzled but instinctively handed it over.

“Behold my ultimate transformation technique!”

Fang Mo pointed a finger. Immediately, a wave of white energy engulfed the “Infinite Cigar,” so bright that Logan half-closed his eyes.

“Here, take this towel.”

Fang Mo, in a rare show of kindness, fished out a bath towel for Logan.

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

Logan still hadn’t caught on. “And what did you do to my cigar—”

Before he could finish, a woman fell from midair.

Fang Mo glanced casually and saw she was a captivatingly mature woman with thick, wavy chestnut hair and pale skin—clearly of mixed Eurasian descent. Also stark naked.

“What the—?!”

Logan was stunned. On reflex, he wrapped her in the bath towel, then glared at Fang Mo. “You can’t be serious…this is your new ability?!”

“Now you can literally ‘smoke your wife.’ Do you like it?”

Fang Mo said with a smirk. “If you want, I can do the same with a bottle of whiskey for your mistress.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Logan finally lost it and roared. “Can’t you develop some normal mutant abilities?! Turn her back, now!”

“Why change her back? Isn’t this better?”

Fang Mo smiled. “Your mutant power is rapid regeneration—over the years, it’s cost you so many loved ones, always robbing you of happiness. But she is different. I gave her the ‘indestructible’ buff—she’s immortal. With her around, you won’t be alone anymore.”

“You…”

Logan froze. He hadn’t expected Fang Mo to say something like that. So… the guy had done this for his sake?

Logan turned to look at the chestnut-haired woman by his side. He’d initially hated that cigar for always messing with him. But after decades together, it sometimes comforted him—and he’d grown used to it in his life.

Still, as much as he appreciated it now, this new arrangement was tough to accept.

“No… I still can’t—”

“Ugh, don’t overthink it.”

Fang Mo, impatient, cut him off. “I can only cast this ability; I can’t reverse it. Just think of her as a mutant. It’s the same for me. Tomorrow I’ll have Charles teach my bedrock go—uh—”

At that, Fang Mo suddenly hesitated. Calling her “bedrock golem” now seemed pretty off.

“Guess I’d better give her a name.”

He thought for a moment. “Let’s just call her Ji Yan [姬岩, literally ‘Princess Rock’]. That has a nice ring to it.”

“Boss! Boss!”

The catgirl on the couch chimed in. “What about me? Can I be named Yatogami Toh—” [a reference to some character from “Date a Live”.]

“You can just stay FW Blade,”

Fang Mo said offhandedly, then glanced over at the chestnut-haired woman. “As for you, let me see…you used to be a cigar, so… oh! I’ve got it.”

“From now on, your name is Qie Ran.” [“茄燃,” which sounds like “cigar burn,” also reminiscent of comedic or meme references in Chinese.]

“‘Qie Ran’?!”

Logan frowned. “What kind of dumb name—”

But Fang Mo ignored him. He just grinned at the woman. “Qie Ran, what’s for dinner tonight?”

Like flipping a switch, her face lit up. “No worries about three meals a day! Old Eighth’s Secret Specialty Burgers!” [“老八秘制小汉堡,” a Chinese internet meme referencing a bizarre burger combination.] “Stinky Tofu marinade with lemon—wanna have that burger tonight?”

“…I…”

Logan’s face fell, and a second later Fang Mo burst out laughing.

“Hahaha! Perfect!”

He laughed so hard his sides shook. Then he pulled out two jars of Wangzhihe [a brand of Chinese fermented bean curd] and tossed them over. “Here, use these. Whip something up for Logan tonight!”

“Yes, sir!”

She nodded eagerly. “Just gotta get it done!”

“…”

Logan, watching the two of them chat, could only stare at the ceiling with a lost expression. A swirl of emotions passed through his mind—Sentinels, the old world’s destruction, all the things he’d experienced in this timeline, and the resurrection of so many friends.

“So…this is the price we pay to save the world?”