Reborn with Steve Stand-Chapter 869: Who are you again?

You had to admit, the Hellsing manor covered a lot of ground.

Even just the central castle kept burning for over four hours straight.

Once the flames finally died down, this centuries-old fortress had been reduced to rubble—its walls charred black and left crumbling in ruin.

It looked just about as grim as Integra’s expression right now.

She never would’ve imagined that anyone—anything—could fight Alucard, her so-called “Vampire King,” on more or less equal terms. From what she could see, it even felt like Fang Mo might have had the upper hand: he went the entire clash without sustaining a scratch, and he could literally conjure flames strong enough to burn everything to ashes.

But from Integra’s perspective, that could’ve been misleading—she knew all too well how terrifying the Hellsing family’s trump card truly was.

After all, even among vampires, Alucard was an absolute monster, arguably the original progenitor. Over the centuries, he’d consumed countless lives, all of which became a permanent part of him. Every time he suffered a mortal wound—every time he “died”—those absorbed souls died in his place instead.

Which meant…

Until he exhausted the endless pool of lives inside him, Alucard literally couldn’t be killed. You could burn him, chop him up, blow his brains out, skewer his heart, douse him with holy water, stab him with silver—you could even grind him into dust and blow him away. The next second, he’d still be standing there, good as new.

Integra had full confidence in Alucard’s strength. She believed that if it really came down to a war of attrition, Alucard could handle someone like Fang Mo.

But here was the problem…

Alucard could play the long game just fine. She couldn’t.

These two monsters were still fighting without showing even the slightest hint of fatigue, and the scale of destruction was growing ever larger. Based on the current situation, Fang Mo might eventually tire out, but from what Alucard had said, even if this fight dragged on for days—or months—he wouldn’t feel any pressure at all. They weren’t even sure who’d come out on top in the end, and it was taking place just outside London. If their battle ever spilled over into the city center… Integra didn’t even want to imagine what kind of nightmare that’d be.

So she had no choice.

She had to call off the fight.

“Stop!”

She took a step forward, raising her arm to shield herself from the billowing smoke and gale-force winds, shouting at the top of her lungs. “Both of you, knock it off! Cut it out—now!”

“Oh?”

Since it was an order from his master, Alucard was the first to halt. The swirling shadows that had spread across the entire manor instantly stilled, and the masses of poisonous insects, bats, hounds, and other familiars sank back into the darkness.

“Huh?”

Fang Mo also paused, resting his weapon on his shoulder. “So we’re done here?”

“Kukuku…” Alucard chuckled nonchalantly. “Nothing I can do about that—it’s the master’s command, and I have to obey, no matter what.”

“Wow, so your master’s word really holds weight, huh?”

Fang Mo cocked an eyebrow, then turned to Integra, who was hurrying over, and jabbed a finger toward Alucard. “Hey you—make him cook me something to eat.”

“…”

Integra’s face instantly went dark.

“I thought you said you were a vampire,” Alucard interjected at just the right moment. “If you really are one, you shouldn’t be able to handle human food, right?”

“Uh…”

Fang Mo looked stumped for a moment.

“So you’re not a vampire at all?” Integra jumped to the obvious conclusion. “Then what on earth are you?”

“Well…”

Fang Mo hesitated briefly, then reflexively spun some nonsense. “Actually, I’m an ogre—specifically, a two-headed man-eating ogre.”

“…” 𝒻𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘸ℯ𝒷𝘯𝘰𝑣ℯ𝑙.𝘤𝑜𝘮

Everyone fell silent at that.

“Seriously, you’re not even trying at this point, are you?” Integra clenched her teeth in frustration. “If you don’t want to give a straight answer, at least invent a better lie.”

“No, I’m telling the truth—I really am a two-headed man-eating ogre,” Fang Mo insisted, nodding fervently. “Anyway, hear me out…”

“Fine, go ahead.”

By now, Integra had her arms crossed, clearly itching to hear how he’d possibly explain this.

“Well, like I said, I really was a two-headed ogre—specifically a two-headed ogre mage—so I can do a bit of fire magic and such.” Fang Mo spoke with a completely straight face. “But as fate would have it, my other head turned out to be, let’s say, super into guys… an absolute pervert who liked men. The worst part? I may have had two heads, but I only had one ass!”

“So in the end, there was only one option.”

He brandished his giant purple blade and mimed slicing off his own neck. “You know how they say your butt decides everything? Well, to protect mine, I had to chop off the other head.”

“…”

After Fang Mo finished, not just Integra and Walter, but even Alucard was left looking completely baffled.

“I…”

Integra opened her mouth, then closed it again. She genuinely couldn’t think of a response, and she felt a throbbing pain at her temples—her blood pressure was probably through the roof by this point.

She had to grudgingly admire Fang Mo’s talent for nonsense. Sure, he was obviously making it all up, but he somehow managed to force it into a twisted kind of logic every time.

“Heh… heh heh…”

Walter, the butler, gave an awkward little laugh.

“Fine. Be whatever you want.” In the end, Integra could only take a deep breath and give up. “Either way, you’ve seen the damage this fight caused. Continuing is no good for anyone… so how about we sit down and actually talk?”

“No problem by me,”

Fang Mo said with a shrug. He pointed to the manor’s main castle in the distance, now a heap of smoldering ruin. “But do you guys still have anywhere left to sit?”

“I…”

Integra felt like the veins on her forehead were about to pop.

“Milady, the basement should still be intact.”

Walter spoke up right then, helpfully. “That policewoman we rescued is still down there. Why don’t we head to the basement for now?”

“That’ll do.”

Integra nodded. “All right, let’s go check it out.”

“Right away, Milady.”

Walter turned and headed off toward the ruins, and Integra signaled for everyone else to follow.

Soon, the group arrived at the collapsed remains of the mansion. Walter casually flicked out several fine metal wires with a faint whoosh, slicing away the broken debris like it was nothing, revealing a scorched door beneath the wreckage. He pulled the door open, and a dark corridor stretched out before them.

Unlike the manor’s wooden structure, this basement was built out of heavy stone. It must have been fairly deep underground, because Fang Mo and Alucard’s fight hadn’t impacted it. Fang Mo walked along, quietly observing the surroundings. The entire place felt oddly old-world—everything from the floor to the walls seemed ancient, cold, and damp, giving off a distinctly medieval vibe. It didn’t match the style of the building above at all.

It was almost as if the basement existed first, and then someone built the manor on top after discovering it.

The tunnel leading down was longer than expected. After a short walk, they reached the main basement complex. To Fang Mo’s surprise, it was way bigger than he thought. After passing through one stone chamber, Walter guided them to a relatively closed-off room.

It was a decent size—maybe a hundred square meters—surrounded by old stone walls, with a red carpet covering the floor. A range of retro-European furniture was scattered around: a sofa, bed, coffee table, cabinets, a vanity, a dining table, and even a coffin, all illuminated by a single standing lamp casting a yellowish glow. It was just enough to light the room.

“Huh?”

They stepped inside, and Fang Mo immediately noticed the woman lying on the bed. She seemed to be asleep, her slightly tousled blonde hair tied into a small ponytail. Pretty enough, though she seemed disturbed by some nightmare and was frowning and shifting around.

Clearly, this was the same female cop—unlucky enough to get caught by that vampire priest in the forest and shot by both Fang Mo and Alucard.

In the original Hellsing storyline, she was actually a major character—basically the show’s female lead. Fang Mo couldn’t recall her name, but he remembered she’d been similarly shot by Alucard in the source material, only to be turned into Alucard’s vampire fledgling due to her strong will to live.

She went on to join the Hellsing organization, hunting other undead across the U.K. She ended up pretty powerful by the end—definitely not someone to write off.

Early on, though, she struggled to get used to her new powers and often flubbed things. Later, during the final war, she witnessed someone very dear to her die right in front of her, which triggered a fierce awakening. When Alucard was gone for decades, she even became Hellsing’s new ace.

“Okay.”

Once they entered the room, Integra glanced at the slumbering policewoman, then settled onto the sofa. She turned to Fang Mo and said, “Let’s talk here.”

“Sure, works for me.”

Fang Mo didn’t seem to mind. He just plopped himself on the edge of the bed.

“You see how pointless that fight was,” Integra said right away. “I don’t know who you are or why you’re really here. If there’s anything you want or need, say it.”

“Didn’t I already say?”

Fang Mo spread his hands. “I’m stuck here for now instead of being in the year 2035—”

“So, you plan to stay here temporarily?”

Integra interjected.

“Actually, I’d like you to hurry up and cook me a couple of dishes.” Fang Mo waved a hand, acting like an entitled guest. “What, you don’t feed your visitors around here?”

“I…”

Integra clenched her jaw. “I guess we could have, except you kind of blew up our kitchen. Now we’re all out of luck.”

“Then I’ll eat people.”

Fang Mo pointed at the dozing policewoman beside him.

“Walter!” Integra shot Fang Mo a sharp look, then exhaled heavily and caved. “…Make him something to eat.”

“Um… right away, Milady.”

Walter seemed momentarily flustered but quickly left the room.

“Happy now?”

Integra turned back to Fang Mo, visibly annoyed. “So you—”

She didn’t get to finish. A piercing scream shattered the air, and the cop on the bed bolted upright, gasping like she’d just jolted out of a horrible nightmare.

“Yo, you’re awake?”

Fang Mo, who was sitting right next to her, greeted her with a sunny smile. “Tough break, doc says the surgery was a success but you’re hopeless… oh, and remember to tell your dad I said hi.”

“Huh?”

The policewoman blinked. “My father… but he died a while ago.”

“Yeah. I know.”

Fang Mo nodded calmly.

“Uh…”

“Ah, you’re up.”

Not far off, Alucard spoke cheerfully, too. “Police girl, how’s it feel to be a vampire?”

“What?!”

She looked more confused than ever. “A vampire… what are you talking about?!”

“Don’t listen to him,”

Fang Mo said, waving her off. Then he pointed at an old-fashioned coffin off to the side. “See that coffin? That’s the ‘magic box’ you’ll be needing any minute now.”

“W-What?!”

She went pale with alarm, only to sense something unusual about her body. Trembling, she fished out a mirror—and froze when she saw two razor-sharp fangs in her mouth. “F-Fangs? What the… is this for real?!”

“You’re being far too loud,”

Integra muttered, pressing a hand to her aching forehead. She’d had enough headaches for one day. “As you can see, this is Hellsing—a monster organization that fights monsters. Simple enough.”

“You’re here because you’re one of us now.”

Integra stood up and walked over to the bed, producing a uniform from somewhere. She handed it to the bewildered policewoman. “From now on, these two are your new coworkers.”

The policewoman took the uniform reflexively, glancing first at Fang Mo—still grinning at her from the bed—then at Alucard, who was leaning against a wall, smiling in that unsettling way. Her brain just about shut down on the spot.

“…Huh?”