Regressor Instruction Manual-Chapter 1495. Extinction (5)

“He confessed that he was a regressor because he was afraid that he might be abandoned... afraid that I might reject him... he was scared and couldn't look me in the eyes as if he had committed some unforgivable sin...” I said.

‘I need to be a bit emotional here.’

It was just the natural flow of things.

“Of course, if I said I wasn’t flustered, that would be a lie... but I knew how much resolve Kim Hyun-Sung had gathered just to tell me that, so I was able to accept it... I forced myself to smile and told him it was okay, but... I can't remember his face back then.

"The things he said calmly with that tense, trembling face... they don’t come to mind anymore,” I said.

It was a precious memory.

“No matter how hard I try to recall it... the air of that day, the bond Kim Hyun-Sung and I felt toward each other that day, I can’t remember any of it... They were things I should never forget. I promised myself that I would remember them for the rest of my life, but now... they're all blurry,” I added.

It had to look like an incredibly precious memory.

“I can’t remember anything! Damn it! I can’t remember what expression he had at the time. I can't remember what he said. I can’t remember any of it!” I shouted, sounding like I was desperately struggling to remember those things.

After all, I wasn't supposed to forget them.

‘See, I’m fragile. I’m not some psychopath who goes around smashing people’s heads in with stones.’

“Haa... haa... haa... whoo...”

‘My mind is basically cotton candy.’

I had shown my weakness a few times before, but now, I no longer had any sharp quills; He had to have realized that I had nothing left but soft and tender skin. He had to have realized that Lee Ki-Young also depended on Kim Hyun-Sung to an extreme degree.

He'd surely understand that we needed each other. There was no way he could fail to realize that now that things had gone this far.

As expected, Mikael hurriedly presented the correct argument.

“Mr. Lee Ki-Young... you already know this, but... this is most likely a temporary phenomenon caused by the Sunset Swordsman's sacrifice. I understand your grief... however, right now, rather than clinging to forgotten memories, it’s more urgent to find Kim Hyun-Sung. You know this, right? Everything can be restored.”

“Who the fuck... Who the fuck does not know that?!” I shouted.

“...”

“Do you think I’m a fucking idiot?! You think I won't know that if we just get Kim Hyun-Sung back and persuade him to find a solution, there’s a high chance that everything will be resolved? Do you really think I don’t know that?! Damn it! Did you think I don’t know that I shouldn’t be sitting here wallowing in grief?!"

"Damn it! I don’t want to forget! Damn it! I don’t want to forget! I can’t think rationally! And... if we find the answer... Damn it... if we find the answer, can you guarantee that the memories I’ve already lost will come back?!” I continued.

“That’s...”

“And what if we can’t find the answer... What if we can’t find another way?” I asked.

“...”

“If I end up not being able to remember anything about Kim Hyun-Sung... then what will he have left? If even I end up forgetting that idiot... then what will he have left?"

“Even so, just standing here hoping your memories will return is...” he trailed off.

“Are you going to say it’s irrational?” I questioned.

“...”

“...”

“It’s not a behavior befitting the God of Sacrifice and Revival,” he said.

“What?”

“I don’t know much about this continent, and I also don't know many details about the two of you, but... I’m well aware of the things you have done for this continent, and of course, I know the positive results that followed it. They were truly acts worthy of a transcendent being; they were achievements that no one could easily accomplish.

"You have never stopped moving for the sake of this continent...” he added.

'This is where I need to say it.'

“You know nothing about me,” I said. It was a cliched line.

As expected, Mikael flinched.

“What? Sacrifice myself? For the continent? Don’t try to judge me based on a few scraps of information you picked up somewhere. You’re the same. You, too, you bastard, Michele, who's in there.

"What the hell do you know about Kim Hyun-Sung and me? Did you seriously think that you could fully understand our relationship with that pathetic knowledge and experience of yours?” I asked.

“...”

“Did you really think you could understand the depth and viciousness of our relationship? You think stepping away from each other and becoming a bit more independent would resolve whatever problem we are facing? What an absurd and comedic idea.

'It’s laughable enough that a mere human actually dared to judge a transcendent being. That stupid head of yours probably thought that you could tear our souls apart... How absurd,” I added.

“...”

“You get it now?” I asked.

“...”

“You were wrong. Not just you, Mikael. All of you. You stirred up a hornet’s nest for nothing,” I said.

“Doctor Michele had no ill intent, Mr. Lee Ki-Young. Of course, it’s true that he has no proper understanding of both you and Kim Hyun-Sung... He didn’t even know that your souls were connected. I-if he had—”

“Yeah, you were wrong, Mikael. But there won’t be a second time. What’s done is done, and I’m not standing here because I want to hold you accountable for your sins. I don’t intend to punish you for it either. Of course, I’ll curse you, but there’s one thing I do understand. You feel guilty over this. At the very least, you want to restore Kim Hyun-Sung to how he was and correct your mistakes...

"I can tell that much. At least that’s why I took your hand,” I said.

“Then...”

“I won’t forget Kim Hyun-Sung,” I said.

“Pardon? What do you...”

“I will never... forget Kim Hyun-Sung,” I told him.

“What do you mean...” he asked.

I filled my eyes with a madness so thick it seemed tangible. Reason had long since disappeared in me. The quills and my tender skin were no more, leaving nothing but obsession and madness.

Just a few minutes ago, I shook hands with Mikael in something that wasn’t quite a reconciliation, swore that we would retrieve Kim Hyun-Sung, and even threw out a grand line about revenge if we ended up failing.

Things were progressing ridiculously fast, but the pace had to be increased.

Under normal circumstances, we were supposed to go on a chaotic adventure where we would gradually understand each other, and then I could sprinkle in hints about my disappearing memories, but damn it, this wasn't the time to think about such things.

If I could lose my memories, then I had to rapidly build up the narrative between Mikael and me.

‘He probably thinks I’m insane.’

He had to have already concluded that Lee Ki-Young wasn't in his right mind. It made sense. After all, he had cried, screamed, thrown a fit, and calmed down out of nowhere. Now, he was making another scene about losing his memories.

A third-party observer would take a step back and think that Lee Ki-Young was losing his marbles. Of course, every action had its justification and logic, but even taking that into account, my actions were still far too extreme and irrational.

“...”

Right now, Lee Ki-Young could do just about anything. It was important to make him think that way.

I looked at him straight and said, “I’m the type who throws the dice where the odds are high, Mikael. You’re right. As you said, if we retrieve Kim Hyun-Sung, there’s a high chance that I’ll regain my memories. No, it’s high. If I were my usual self, I'd throw the dice, but not now.

"Even if we retrieve Kim Hyun-Sung, there’s a chance I can persuade him. But even if I persuade him, there’s no guarantee that we’ll achieve a complete regression. There’s no certainty that my memories will return to how they were,” I explained.

“...”

“When it comes to something involving my own, I never throw the dice,” I said.

“...”

“No matter how high the probability of success is, I will not gamble with Kim Hyun-Sung,” I added.

“So now—”

“I’m going to turn back time,” I said, interrupting him.

“...”

“Before I lose everything about Kim Hyun-Sung, I’ll turn back time once more and enter the third life. Kim Hyun-Sung might not remember me, but that’s fine. I’ll remember him. Things might get a little complicated, but that’s fine. I’ll remember everything,” I said.

“You know that regressing right now is impossible, right? Kim Hyun-Sung has already...” he said, trailing off.

“I’m not saying I will use Kim Hyun-Sung as the key. I’ll become the key,” I told him.

“...”

“If I become the key, I’ll be erased. But there’s nothing in this world that’s truly impossible. Everything’s a transaction. This will be a deal between the System and me. Just as Altanus had left Benigoa behind, I can leave myself behind as well. It might not be the same me, but at the very least, it will remember Kim Hyun-Sung,” I said.

“...”

“If it doesn’t work once, then I'll do it again. If it still doesn't work, I'll try again. If the price isn’t enough, I’ll keep offering the System what it wants. In the end, I’ll obtain what I want, Mikael. I always get what I want,” I continued.

“That’s madness. Your very existence will disappear! Even if by some miracle you still remember the Sunset Swordsman... that won't be you. You know that better than anyone, right?” Mikael questioned.

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is whether it’s possible or not. That’s all. What do you think? Do you think it’s possible?” I asked.

“...”

“...”

‘The odds aren’t that low.’

“There’s one more thing. When I throw the dice with my own life on the line, I never hesitate,” I added.

“...”

“Maybe that’s why they call it sacrifice,” I said.

I pulled a dagger out of my chest.

‘I’m going to stab myself with this! I really am going to do it!’

Of course, killing myself did not mean I’d actually regress. Still, showing the will to throw my life away was enough. I was no longer rational at all. I could stab my throat and let my divine blood touch the ground, and things could snowball from there.

However, I had no intention of actually stabbing myself.

‘No, of course Mikael won’t just leave me alone.’

There was no way he would let me do that. As a dimensional administrator, he could not allow that.

If both Kim Hyun-Sung and I vacated our positions, there was no telling what would happen to the continent. Considering what I owned, there was no way he would permit my erasure.

Of course, I did not know whether he couldn’t allow it as a dimensional administrator or as Mikael himself, but if possible, I’d prefer...

‘The latter. I prefer the latter.’

The motion of drawing the dagger and bringing it to my neck happened naturally.

I wasn't hesitating in the slightest, so if he decided not to stop me...

‘Then I’ll just die. It’s not that absurd of a plan anyway.’

“See you in the next life. If we can meet,” I said.

Thud.

“What do you think you’re doing right now?! Are you out of your mind?!”

Mikael grabbed the blade with his bare hand. Of course, blood ran down his palm. I noticed it when I beat him to death earlier, but it seemed his Endurance was rather low.

“What are you doing? Let go,” I said.

“I can’t let go. This is... this is...” he mumbled.

‘It’s insane, right?’

“...”

‘It makes no sense, right? You’re thinking that, aren’t you?’

Hedgehog Ki-Young had lost something precious, and he was not going to stop.

Whatever was going to happen, I was going to act first and think later.

“Let go,” I demanded.

“I can’t. Did you think I'd just stand by and watch you do this? This is irrational. It’s not a rational decision,” he argued.

Clear cracks formed across the face of the man who was always calm.

‘He’s flustered by my sudden outburst.’

“Irrational? No, I’m more rational right now than at any other time. You just don’t understand me,” I told him.

“...”

“You’ve never lost anything, so you won't understand,” I said.

‘Just toss that out there...’

“...”

“...”

'Now we wait. Fishing is about casting the line and waiting...'

“I, too, have lost many things,” Mikael confessed.

'Right on cue...'

“...”

“Of course, it’s not the same as your situation, Mr. Lee Ki-Young, but I believe I can at least understand a fraction of how you feel,” he said.

“...”

“...”

‘So this is where we become best friends, huh?’

The moment someone shared their story, it was already eighty percent finished. This was practically a rule. His gaze looked righteous and unwavering. It looked like he was ready to sacrifice himself at any moment. Not right now, of course...

‘You’ll... die for us instead, won't you?’

“...”

‘You can die in our place... right?’

“...”

‘For us... you’d willingly die, wouldn't you?’