Seeking Happiness-Chapter 145

Chapter 145 The miserable past

As the three of them were talking, they saw Lin shi coming out of the hall with her head down. She didn’t even look at them. She only called a maid over, let her go bring Gu Xuan over, and then hurried went away.

Shu Huan watched her leave and wondered, "She seems to have cried. Could it be that she had been scolded by old madam?"

"Probably," Gu Xiran sighed as he put his hands behind his back.

Ji Danqing knew very well about the affairs of Gu household. However, he was a doctor. When he went to other households to visit the patient, he heard about similar things too. He had already become indifferent to these things. He cupped his hand and said, "I'm going to Red Cloud Yard to see eldest young mistress's situation first."

Not long after he left, Gu Xuan was dragged by two maids to the hall.

After being locked up in the woodshed for a night, she (GX) still looked clean and tidy. The small white flower on her temple had just wilted a little bit. When she passed by Shu Huan and Gu Xiran, they could still smell a faint fresh fragrance. The only difference was her delicate and pretty face. That graceful charm of the past was gone. Her always lowered eyes of before were looking straight ahead at this moment. She slightly lifted her chin with a proud and determined look.

As Shu Huan looked at her passing by, she frowned slightly, "Why do I feel a little uneasy."

Gu Xiran hasn’t withdraw his sight from Gu Xuan. He only shook his head, grabbed her (SH) hand and entered the main hall with her.

Inside the hall, old madam was already exhausted and was lying on Gu Xihe's side. In contrast to old madam's state, Gu Xuan was like a flowering bud. There was an astonishing liveliness.

As soon as she (GX) crossed the threshold, Gu Xuan didn’t kneel and didn’t pay her respect. She looked directly at old madam and said, "The person who killed Gu Xitian and poisoned eldest sister-in-law with white arsenic is me!"

Although, it was a calm confession, it was more of a vengeful provocation. Shu Huan who was standing at a side could see a cruel excitement and the thrill of revenge inside of her (GX) eyes.

However, Gu Xuan didn’t get to see old madam being shocked or faint as she wished. The attitude of other people was also very calm. They just looked puzzled at her. There was nothing more.

"What?" She still didn’t know what happened before she came. She only thought that old madam wanted to see her to ask about Fang shi's miscarriage. She unconsciously twisted her brows. "I say that I have caused them to die. It has nothing to do with third big brother. Don't you understand?"

Old madam only slightly moved her body and asked, "Why?"

The calm attitude of everyone completely ruined the thrill of revenge that Gu Xuan expected. A powerful sense of disappointment was revealed on her face. Her sudden anger was also like the Dutchman's pipe cactus; it was gone very quickly and she changed back to her calm look. After staring coldly at old madam for a while, she asked, "Do you all already know?"

"Why?" Old madam didn’t answer her and only repeated her question again.

Gu Xuan didn’t want to answer this question. She only looked around the hall and asked, "Where's third big brother? Since you already know the truth of the matter, set him free! He's completely ignorant of this matter. He's innocent!"

Old madam's patience had already worn thin. She suddenly shouted, "I ask you why!"

The voice was very loud, and with the power that had been cultivated over the years. It made Gu Xuan tremble by reflex. Afterwards, she came back to her senses and looked complicatedly at old madam. She wanted to say something but then hesitated.

"Do you know what day today is?" Old madam stared fixedly at her. "It's the day of your eldest big brother's obituary being sent out! There are so many friends and relatives gathering outside now. Everyone is asking why Xitian has died so young! Do you know what this kind of words feel like in my and your father's ears? And you! Just boldly said that you caused his death! Don’t you even feel a bit of guilt or do you feel proud of this?!"

She took a breath. She didn’t wait for Gu Xuan to talk and continued, "You're usually very lovable and thoughtful. I also favored you in my heart because you were so pitiful as your mother died when you were so young. Who have thought that this old one has misjudged you? You're actually so vicious that you didn’t even spare an unborn child…."

When she heard old madam mentioning her mother died when she was very young, Gu Xuan's emotion suddenly got stirred up. "Don’t mention my mother! You still know that my mother died when I was so young? Then please tell me, how did my mother die?!"

Old madam's emotion stabilized. Concise and comprehensive, she said, "She died of illness."

"Nonsense!" Gu Xuan angrily said, "She was clearly killed! You all think that a four-year-old won't remember and was so easy to deceive? I will tell you, I remember everything clearly! I remember how she was beaten, how she was carried back by people. I remember I went to seek help from master to ask him to invite a doctor over to treat mother, but master looked at me with disdain. Not only did he refuse, but even kicked me! If it wasn’t my nanny who carried me away by force, he even wanted to call people to lock me up!"

Having spoken till here, Gu Xuan couldn’t help but cry, "The most heartless person was clearly him! His biological daughter and his lover who he had loved dearly before, he abandoned them as we were nothing! After my mother was beaten, she was so wounded that she couldn’t move. Even eating, she has to be fed by others. At that time, it was also a very hot summer. After staying in bed for a long time, the wounds on her body not only didn’t heal, it even festered into pus. The room where she lived was once filled with an elegant orchid fragrance, but at that time, the whole room was full of stench! Rotten stench!"

Old madam frowned and didn’t say anything.

Gu Xuan's mood grew more and more agitated. She took two steps forward and looked at old madam in the eyes, "You certainly don’t know what it feels like to see a person's body become rotten in front of you until dead! I was only four years old then. Just like that, I watched helplessly at how my mother struggled in bed for several months! It wasn’t that she didn’t want to die quickly, but she often had high fever and was in a coma. She couldn’t even get up. She could only weakly ask for help, plead them to free her faster so she no longer needed to suffer such misery…."

Shu Huan felt miserable after listening to this. She looked at Gu Xiran with uneasiness, but, soon after, she heard Gu Xuan continued to speak while choking with sobs.

"I felt hatred! I hated myself for being useless at the time. I hated that I was afraid at the time and didn’t help her. I hated myself to let her suffer so much torture before she had passed away. Even after she died, she was dead but wouldn’t close the eyes! That night, I stayed at the bedside and stared at her soulless white eyes for a long time. I thought if I have a chance, I vowed to avenge her. I even pleaded to the heavens to let everything turn back to three months ago. If I truly can go back, I won’t be afraid anymore. I would rather bear the accusation of killing my mother with my own hands. I just want her to rest at peace!"

• Dead but will not close the eyes: to die with a remaining grievance.

As she said that, she couldn’t stop crying. She cried for a while, gritted her teeth and asked old madam, "Do you still have to ask me why? You actually know all about this! You know master's heartless heart and know the misery of my mother. You know the reason she was beaten at that time. This all was caused by accidentally letting Gu Xitian fall into the pond while playing! But he didn’t die and was safely rescued. How could you treat my mother so cruelly? You all thought that I was young and wouldn’t remember. You just keep telling me that my mother died of an illness!"

Old madam sighed. She wanted to speak, but Gu Xuan rushed to say something very malicious like a curse. "Now I have the ability to avenge. I just want Gu Xitian dead. I want him to be without offspring! I want master to live every decade like today, to feel the pain I have suffered! As for you all, you all are accomplices; don’t even think to live a peaceful life! I wish you all to live in pain and remorse. And never forget my mother! Don’t ever think to cover up the facts!"