SEX WITH MY BEST FRIEND'S FIANCÉ-Chapter 186

- ASAMI -

The ear scarping noise as my dagger scribbles something on a metal board leaves me running mad but I’m not stopping. The scratches on the board tell an undeniable tale of suffering but it’s an object after all, I’ve had to feel this turmoil on my own skin before.

I’m clutched on a chair in a corner of my room, my ass and feet rest on the chair seat so close to each other and my upper body hangs over my knees. While one hand plays with the dagger on the metal board which is on the desk before me, the other dangles loosely, facing the ground. Shuriken blades dangle between each space between each finger as I fold them and let them loose, spreading them apart while enjoying the sound. These blades have wounded my fingers. I can feel my blood run down my hands and drip to the floor but I don’t do a thing.

I’m fucked up in the head. Everything that made sense suddenly doesn’t and this is because I chose to play tag. How awful it is to witness one’s plans fumble before their very own eyes. I can’t do the shit I wanted to anymore. Not when Killian knows. Something tells me he’d take my life without a second thought if it came down to it.

He’s been very lenient with me and I got too comfortable. I let out a sharp gasp as a blade slices through my palm. This is when I let go of all of shuriken blades. The clang as the metal blades hit against each other and fall on the floor resonates in my room, filling my ears.

I’m trying to think. S needs Hazel alive. Killian wants Hazel alive. Owen. . . I don’t know what he wants. I’m the only one desirous to make her life miserable but even that time was short lived. I should’ve let her fall down the building when I had the chance. Not from a height where she’d die, of course, but from a height that would leave her in so much pain she’d have to sit exams out and suffer several broken bones. A height that’ll get her close to having fatal wounds.

Maybe I’ll have a little sanity if she wasn’t roaming around him so much. But then, Killian would go to her.

A grimace forms on my face.

KILLIAN! KILLIAN!! KILLIAN!! He’s all I can think about! I sneer, a scoff escaping my mouth. The asshole doesn’t even dare think about me once. Why am I going mental and losing myself and worth because of him?!

WHY CAN’T I LET GO?!! free𝑤ebnovel.com

With rage seeping through my body, I fling the dagger forward. It lands on the wall, hanging there.

I think I know the answer to that question. I don’t want to let go. Like a moth drawn to a flame and Icarus to the sun, it’s difficult for people like me to let go of the one shiny light they experienced in their life. Maybe it’s fear to move on or the fear that I’ll never be able to meet someone just as twisted as me who wouldn’t be influenced by my job in any way, I don’t know, I can’t tell. A sigh leaves my lips.

This is my life. It always have been, I’ve never been able to break free. Love is never an option for people like me because it can be taken just as easily as the feelings fluttered. It’s shickle. It’s inconvenient. It can also leave both involved dead.

While mine would be internally, the other half won’t. If he’s not like I am, he can easily be killed by S and my higher ups. I have no power of my own life. Maybe that’s why I can’t let go. Tears run down my cheeks. My sobs echo in my desolate room.

I want to die but can’t. I bury my head in my knees. Maybe if I can’t die, I can take the life of someone instead.

The idea suddenly leaves me intrigued. Who do I hate the most in this world right now? The answer is obvious. I hate her. Not the sad best friend but the woman he loves. But I possibly can’t have my way.

Another thought leaves me shivering. I can’t, but maybe someone else can. After all, there’s no punishment I haven’t experienced that I would now that would kill me. S needs me alive too, that much I know.

A ding catches my attention. My head raises up my knees and my gaze lowers to the ground where my phone lays. My screen is lit up. It was a notification.

I stretch my legs outward and gently press my feet on the ground then lean my body forward. I stretch my hand to reach out to my phone.

‘I’ve done what you asked. For old time’s sake. Not anymore.’ The text reads.

A half smile forms on my face. I swipe up and head to the chat. One thing about being involved in someone’s past is having similar allies and friends.

‘Thank you. This is very much appreciated.’ I respond to his message and turn my phone off. The corner of my phone presses against the skin underneath my bottom lip.

After all, this hacker is the one who infiltrated my database and aided Killian to kill the story back when I blogged about he and Hazel’s relationship. I met him through Killian and although we don’t constantly talk, our relationship is seamless. I do keep in touch once in a while. Just like Killian needed him then, I need him now to do something for me. Something less trustworthy on his end.

My head tilts to the side. I keep my gaze fixed on the metal board before me. I did a little something. Kate is coming. I sent her a message supposedly from Killian to meet him at home when she arrives. I know Hazel moved in with him today and since I am not much of a hacker myself, nor able to even go as near to him and his stuff, I paid an old friend a surprise zoom meeting visit to do the job.

His loyalty is with Killian but friendship does have a little bit of benefit. I drop my phone on the board. The desire to smash it is pungent. While whatever I intend to do unfolds when Kate arrives and sees them both, I’ll be here planning what I want to do next. My eyes withdraw from my phone and lands on the dagger in the wall. The end of my lips curl to the side to form a smirk.

I already have a few ideas.