SEX WITH MY BEST FRIEND'S FIANCÉ-Chapter 223

- KATE -

So his brother is with my best friend, who would’ve thought? I guess even she didn’t know. I doubt I would if I was in her shoes. The odds are quite slim but here we are, getting stronger in our friendship in more ways than one.

Never would I have imagined her being with someone like Liam. Not that it’s a bad choice, Liam’s got the charms and he’s a splendid man but I can’t help but wonder if Hazel knows the real him. The him he doesn’t talk about, the son of a deceased mafia boss who reigned a strong empire that still rules till date. I gulp. Just thinking about it sends shivers down my spine.

I wonder if she accepted him despite knowing him. If that’s so, I look up to face the man by my side, why doesn’t Killian show me any form of affection even now?

“It’s a small word we live in.” I chuckle, looking at my knuckles, trying to start a conversation. “Who would’ve thought those two would meet, talk less of build something together.” I add. Part of me yearns for a response but I’m not getting any. “They look adorable together, don’t you think?” Killian’s face is directed at the road and he hasn’t said a word to me since. Not yet at least. freewebnσvel.cøm

I can’t read him.

“I wonder why you never mentioned something to me about it sooner. I almost misjudged.”

The sigh that drags on between us is the first thing to break his silence. It sounds forced and tired, like that of someone hoping to while time away from a painful or stressful moment. My lips form a line.

“As you know, chipmunk, Liam was supposed to introduce her to me today.” Killian says, his voice is calm yet the intention behind his tone doesn’t seem so. Or am I just overthinking this? I can’t tell. I don’t know.

I draw my gaze from him back to my fingers. Even I understand a hint when I notice one. I can tell he’s not pleased.

“Am I that insufferable?” I blurt out. For a split second, I imagined his eyes rest on me but when I turned my head to face him, he wasn’t even looking at me. I swallow. “I’m engaged to you, Killian. One moment you act like you care about me but from the time I’ve been back till now, even right here, you’ve been scarce. Is there something else on your mind? Someone else? Tell me. Confide in me-“

“I think we both know the truth about why we’re engaged in the first place.” Killian says, his tone slightly harsh. I blink, trying to stop tears from falling down my cheeks. With a deep inhale, I sniff. Yeah, we do.

“And I am quite sure I have done and still do my duty in taking care of you like a man should, or have I not?” This doesn’t seem like a question. It doesn’t seem like a statement either. His words sound stiff and demanding.

“You have.” I mouth under my breath.

“Then what seems to be the issue here, Kate?”

My breath hitches as his eyes meet mine through the rear mirror. I swallow. Those thick lashes convey dead looking eyes filled with something dark.

How do I tell him that I am running mad? Totally insane? That my head is playing tricks with me and I don’t know what to do nor who to run to and he doesn’t give me the feeling that he wants me to confide in him? How do I let him know that even while with him recently, I feel lonely. How do I voice these concerns without coming off as ungrateful and asking for too much?

Why do I suddenly feel gaslit all of a sudden? Since when do I question how I feel?

“Are you with someone new?” I summon the courage to ask, my voice sinking into the air.

“Is that what you’re so bothered about, darling Kate?”

“That is not an answer, Killian.” My voice is more firm this time.

The smile that forms at the ends of his face sickens me. “Yes I am.”

It feels as though a blade plunged into my chest at his response. I don’t know what I wanted to hear but at least he’s being honest? I don’t know how to feel about that. “For how long?” That firm demeanour is gone and I hear my voice breaking.

“So long I forgot to keep count.”

My air flow seems restricted. I find it difficult to breathe. Do I even rant or complain? I feel there are other ways to say this without sounding so arrogant. So non empathetic of my feelings. Does Killian not know I care about him as much as I do? Way more than I’m supposed to.

“Do I know this person?” Caring hurts. Even when the outcome was inevitable, it sure does. I always knew we were allowed to have relationships outside ours but I never imagined him to be the first one to start one. I never imagined it at all.

The warm smile that meets me when I ask this makes me feel sick. “That’s not something you should worry about, chipmunk.” He says. A hand draws near to me and rests on my head, patting me gently yet roughly.

Maybe it’s not someone I know but it’s something I’d love to know. Not long ago, before the raid, some random person approached me physically for the first time after leaving a letter for me. I never saw her again but a strange person met me at the inn’s window, leaving a letter. The letter came to me like a joke. A preposterous joke.

It made me feel like a fool when I read it. It stated; Plan’s changed. I won’t be involved in your personal matters anymore. Do with this info as you wish.

I don’t know what caused the sudden deal breaker but even if I wanted to, I couldn’t find out on my own. I am no expert or spy with some kind of power to influence certain deep searches for someone I don’t even know the face of so I left it there but that did its thing to ruin my mind. Especially when it felt so chaotic. So I chose to ask him. And he confirmed it. I want to ask him why he chose a student but I doubt he’d give me any more information than he already has.

I fake a smile. “Okay.” I murmur, staring into the road. I let out a sigh. If Killian can’t be my emotional support, I guess I’ll dive back into telling someone else about it. Someone who may understand because she’s with someone like him.

Someone whom I’ve grown to trust. Someone less tense and crude with responses who’s everything a man stands against in the emotional support area. Her. My bff. Maybe it’s time I start opening up to her about it. It’ll lift some burden off me and give me some peace of mind.