Shinji Matou at Your Service-Chapter 951 - : Bygone Dreams

Memories are like old, faded photographs: yellowed, moldy, incomplete, with unclear black-and-white silhouettes. However, some photos, driven by intense emotions, resist the ravages of time. Even after ten or twenty years, they remain unchanged.

Now, these photos have been brought to the surface. The images on them are too vivid, the colors too rich, too thick, causing tightness in the heart and making it race uncontrollably, leaving him with little strength to remind himself of his current state.

Memories from twenty years ago weren't supposed to be like this.

Now, it felt more like being in one of those newly popular 3D theaters—so natural, so immersive—with himself as the male lead and the two women slowly sitting up from the ground as the female leads.

The movie had two parts, the first of which took place during his youth. At that time, he had just moved with his father to a secluded tropical island, always dressed in dark blue jeans and an orange-red tank top, his sun-tanned skin exposed as he ran around the island, chasing after the figure of a certain girl.

The girl was an ordinary islander named Shirley, who had become his father's assistant due to her intelligence.

Honestly, at first, he felt quite resentful. The father he admired so much had chosen someone other than him as an assistant. But it didn't take long for him to be drawn in by Shirley's cheerful and gentle nature, and soon, he found himself revolving around her.

Whenever she drove into town to buy supplies, he would always sit in the passenger seat, accompanying her. Even the island's insular and unfriendly residents gradually began accepting him because of her.

"Because Kerry is my little brother."

She would always say this to him. Naturally, this moved him deeply. His mother had passed away when he was very young, and he had no memories of her. Constantly moving with his father, there had never been room for any female figures in his life—until Shirley appeared.

Shirley respected his father as if he were her own, and treated him like a little brother. But as time passed, a strange feeling began to stir in the his heart—was she just his sister?

Through their time together, he learned about her—her kindness, her brightness, her intelligence—and how much she cared for him. But it wasn't just that. Her unintentional gestures, like her profile as she strolled along the beach, or the way she hummed a tune and glanced back at him, made his cheeks flush with heat.

Time passed slowly in their innocent interactions. Kiritsugu had become indistinguishable from the island's other children, except for one thing: his constant chase after Shirley.

Her pure white dress fluttered like a large white butterfly in front of him, sometimes close, sometimes distant, accompanied by her clear, ringing voice.

"Hey, Kerry, do you know how this island got its name?"

...

"Father Simon always scolds me, saying that if I keep working at your house, demons will notice me."

...

"Kerry, your father is an amazing person. I admire him so much. His knowledge and discoveries are extraordinary—any one of them could change the world. Naturally, that makes them frightening, so they must remain hidden... But honestly, I often wonder how much better it would be if these powers were used for the world's good."

...

"Even though he's given up, Kerry, I believe if it's you, you can do it."

...

"I'm not an apprentice. At best, I'm just an assistant. I run errands and help out, but your father hasn't taught me anything important. But Kerrt, you're different. You'll inherit everything from your father. Because all his research now is preparation for you to take over one day. It's just a matter of timing."

In hindsight, that might have been the beginning of the tragedy. If only he had been more attentive, more considerate, and had seen through the discontent and loneliness in her eyes, perhaps everything could have been avoided.

But sadly, reality doesn't allow for "if only." At that time, Kiritsugu, flustered by her playful smile and sudden remarks, missed his last chance.

And then, everything changed. That radiant girl disappeared from his life forever.

She—died.

Her pale skin.

Dark veins appeared beneath her skin, like cracks spreading across her cheeks.

Her expression contorted in pain, like someone on the verge of death.

It was immediately obvious... this thing was already dead.

Though dead, it was still moving.

In his mind, it was clear: this thing, though human in appearance, had become something entirely inhuman.

Outside, it was night. There were no street lamps on this island, but the bright moonlight still streamed through the window, illuminating the scene of the tragedy.

It was a chicken coop outside the village. For some unknown reason, Shirley hadn't appeared during the day. Kiritsugu, searching for her, had scoured the village and refused to give up even after night fell, eventually arriving at this place.

The ground was littered with the mangled corpses of chickens, their flesh and blood torn apart. Kiritsugu walked deeper into the coop, trembling, and stopped beside the undead girl, who was sobbing softly.

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"Kill me—"

The creature's face was identical to the girl he loved most, and it whimpered in agony.

A silver dagger was lightly dropped at his feet, gleaming ominously in the moonlight. It was a gift from Father Simon, given to Shirley for self-defense. Now, that very item was meant to end her life.

"I'm scared—"

"I can't do it myself—"

"So please, you... kill me—"

"There's still time—"

"How could I...?"

Kiritsugu shook his head, stepping back.

How could he bring himself to do it?

No matter what she had become, she was still her. The most important person in his life—more important than family.

"Please—"

Shirley gasped in pain, exposing a row of sharp, uneven teeth. She sobbed hysterically, her breathing becoming more like that of a wild beast.

"I'm already—at my limit—before I lose control—hurry—"

Shirley trembled and struggled as if in a fever, biting into her arm with her exposed teeth.

Slurp!

The sound of her drinking her blood rang in his ears.

"Please—"

Kiritsugu's screams drowned out her continuous pleas as he fled the coop.

Deep down, he already knew what had happened, but back then, he refused to accept that tragic reality.

He didn't want to believe that the person he loved had turned into a ghoul.

He naively, selfishly believed that there was still a way to save her.

Because he refused to face reality, the peace of the island was shattered.

He told Father Simon about Shirley's condition, begging for help. Father Simon reported the matter to the Church's covert organization—the Holy Church.

Before long, the Church's enforcers, the Executors, arrived on the island.

At the same time, another group that had been chasing him and his father, forcing them to move constantly—the Executors of the Mage's Association—also came.

Together, they turned the island, now overrun with the undead, into a sea of fire. Every life on that island, every warm smile he had once known, was wiped out.

He alone survived, thanks to the arrival of another heroine.

At that moment, the movie shifted to its second half.

And it was at that moment that he truly reclaimed his real name.

Kiritsugu's name was never really "Kerry." He was born in a distant land in Japan, and for the people of this island, his real name was difficult to pronounce. Shirley was the first to call him "Kerry" as a nickname, and soon the islanders followed suit. Kiritsugu had half resigned himself to that name, preferring it to the awkward "Kerry-to-gu" that the locals attempted to pronounce.

His real name was Emiya Kiritsugu, the son of the Sealing Designated Magus, Emiya Norikata.

PS: Title reference to FGO Craft Essence featuring Shirley.