Strongest Scammer: Scamming The World, One Death At A Time-Chapter 28: Visiting Two Bare Assed Friends

While Han Yu's performance was Oscar-worthy in his mind, Guard Shen remained unimpressed.

"And who are these prisoners to you?" Guard Shen asked, arms crossed like a disappointed father.

"My friends!" Han Yu replied with a dazzling smile, as if that would erase all suspicion.

"Your friends? Criminals?" Guard Shen's expression soured.

'Shit... don't know how he's gonna take this.' Han Yu could only hope his friends hadn't done anything too catastrophic. 'Wait—what did they even do? They got arrested last night? What kind of trouble did these two buffoons get into this time?'

As far as Han Yu knew, their nightly activities consisted of eating, drinking, and occasionally attempting to cheat at card games—badly.

'No, wait... did they gamble big again?' Han Yu groaned internally.

He vividly remembered the last time they'd gotten carried away and ended up losing everything... including their pants.

'Fatty Kui had to get new pants tailored because store-bought ones don't fit him.' Han Yu winced at the memory.

Guard Shen turned to the other guard. "What did they do?"

"Let me check." The guard flipped through a thick register, squinting at the handwritten offenses. "What are their real names?"

"Lian Kui and Dan Hu." Han Yu supplied, already dreading the answer.

The guard ran a finger down the list and stopped. "Here we go—Lian Kui and Dan Hu. Arrested for unpaid debts and... indecent exposure?" His eyebrow shot up.

"Goddammit." Han Yu pinched the bridge of his nose. 'Did they seriously lose their pants again?'

Guard Shen's face was unreadable, making Han Yu sweat bullets.

"Please, I just want to see them." Han Yu switched to his best 'concerned friend' expression. "They were locked up last night, so I figured they wouldn't have eaten. I even brought them some food. Look," he pulled out a handful of dried meat from his pocket. 'Good thing I always keep snacks on me.'

Guard Shen studied him for a moment before sighing. "Fine, I'll let you meet them—but only five minutes."

"Thank you, Guard Shen! You truly are a paragon of justice and kindness." Han Yu clasped his hands together dramatically. 'Who knew being on good terms with Guard Shen would actually pay off?'

The other guard unlocked the heavy iron door, but before Han Yu could step inside, Guard Shen gave him a pointed look.

"Don't spend too much time with people like that, Han Yu. They'll only drag you down."

Han Yu nodded solemnly. "Of course, Guard Shen! I've been trying to steer them onto the right path, but you know how hard that is."

Guard Shen exhaled heavily. "Yeah."

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With that, Han Yu entered the jail's dimly lit corridor, lined on both sides with iron-barred cells. There were about sixteen cells, each crammed with five to ten prisoners. The place smelled like unwashed bodies and regret.

"Now, where are they?" Han Yu muttered, scanning the cells.

Most of the prisoners were either lounging around or engaged in deep philosophical debates about who stole whose lunch.

"I told you, I didn't eat your noodles!"

"Bullshit! I saw noodles in your beard!"

"Those were from yesterday!"

"You lying bastard!"

A full-blown fistfight erupted.

"Shit! Not again! Restrain them!" Guards rushed in to break up the brawl.

Han Yu expertly sidestepped the chaos and headed deeper into the jail.

Finally, in the second-to-last cell on the left, he spotted his friends.

They shared the space with two other unfortunate souls—one of whom was passed out drunk, reeking of cheap liquor, while the other sat as far away from the stench as possible, looking like he was contemplating his life choices.

Meanwhile, Fatty Kui and Dan Hu had wedged themselves into the opposite corner, huddled together like traumatized children. They were wearing what looked like old stained cleaning rags wrapped around their waists.

Fat Kui was trying his hardest to keep the rag wrapped, but it was a little too small to hold on to his bulbous waist.

"Ugh. How long do we have to be here?" Fatty Kui whined, his belly and butt jiggling as he shifted uncomfortably.

"Who knows?" Dan Hu groaned. "They haven't even sentenced us yet."

"Fatty Kui, Dan Hu." Han Yu called out, gripping the bars.

"HAN YU!" Fatty Kui lunged forward with the enthusiasm of a man spotting free food.

Han Yu narrowly dodged him, leaning back just in time.

"Hey, hey! Calm down!" Han Yu held up his hands.

"You here to break us out?" Dan Hu whispered conspiratorially, eyes sparkling with misguided hope.

Han Yu scoffed. "You think I can do that? After my last run-in with the warden?"

Dan Hu grimaced. "Probably not... so why are you here?"

"I was looking for you two, but you weren't at any of your usual haunts. Then it hit me—if you weren't eating, drinking, or gambling, you were probably in jail." Han Yu sighed dramatically. "And here you are."

Fatty Kui suddenly burst into loud, exaggerated sobs. "It wasn't even our fault! That bastard cheated us!"

Han Yu rubbed his temples. "Alright, tell me what happened."

Dan Hu took a deep breath, preparing for storytime. "You remember that big guy they call Ox Hand?"

Han Yu groaned. "Yeah. How could I forget? He's the lunatic who punched a hole through a wall last year, right?"

"Yep, that's him." Dan Hu nodded. "We were playing cards at the tavern, like usual, when he showed up. Saw us winning a couple of rounds and decided he wanted to play."

Han Yu's stomach dropped. "And you let him?"

Dan Hu shrugged. "We didn't have a choice! You know how he gets."

Han Yu shook his head. "Even if you won, he would've just broken your legs."

Fatty Kui sniffled. "Well, good news—we didn't win."

Han Yu facepalmed. "And?"

Dan Hu sighed. "Turns out, he's an even bigger cheat than we are. We lost everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything."

Han Yu's eye twitched. "Oh god. Tell me you at least kept your pants this time."

Dan Hu hesitated.

Fatty Kui cleared his throat. "Not... exactly."