Submitting to My Best Friend's Dad-Chapter 817 : Living in the Present

*Cat*

I was in the great room with Emilia when Elio got home. I often sat in there with Emilia whenever she stayed up for hours at a time. This gave me a chance to turn on the TV and at least listen to what was going on in the background while she played with the blocks or her other toys.

She liked to try to babble at me and tell me what she was doing as if I could understand what she was talking about. It was adorable.

She was so busy these days, and I didn’t want to walk away or leave her in the playpen for very long, so we hung out in the great room together while I read or worked on something else. She often interrupted whatever I was doing, but I didn’t mind. I enjoyed having her with me and giving her my attention when she felt she needed it.

When Elio came through the door, there was an energy around him as though something had happened at work that didn’t leave when he walked through the door. I just wondered which office he was bringing home with him today.

I knew he had an important meeting with one of his friends setting up a deal for a new development at the legitimate business. Though he hated to have to go there at all anymore, it was unavoidable sometimes.

I didn’t know whether or not he had gone to the warehouse. I didn’t want to ask. I didn’t really want to know. But there was a grimness to Elio’s jaw and his eyes were dark and lethal.

I didn’t think our little girl noticed when he walked in and pulled her into his arms. She giggled, turned in his arms and hugged him tightly. Our little girl loved her daddy. He held her and kissed her temples, then sat down beside me.

“What’s wrong?“ I asked before I could stop myself. I needed to know, but I didn’t want to know, not if it involved the mafia.

“Just a long day,” he said, taking in a deep breath and letting it out. He leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes.

“Do you want a drink?“ I asked, not giving into the urge to smack him upside his hard head for lying to me.

It obviously was more than a long day bothering him. But I didn’t want to fight with him in front of Emilia. He was lucky she was in his arms. Not only that, but I was also getting tired of arguing about his lying. It was going to happen whether I argued with him about it or not. We’d talked ourselves to death over the issue, but it still wasn’t resolved. I wasn’t sure whether that made me mad or just exhausted.

“No, I think that might just make it worse,” he said.

I turned my head to look at him and wondered if it would be possible for him to ever tell me the truth. But I didn’t ask him again what was wrong. I’d given him the opening to tell me the truth, and he’d chosen not to. I was just going to have to accept the fact that he wasn’t telling me the truth most of the time, it seemed.

I laid my head back against the couch cushion and watched him interact with our baby. I could tell he was preoccupied, and it was obvious that Emilia could tell something was wrong too.

She patted his cheeks and looked into his eyes. It was as if she was trying to figure out what was wrong with her daddy. He tried to respond happily, but it wasn’t easy to hide his true emotions, and our daughter was too smart not to notice. It made me sad to see that look of anxious curiosity on her face as she longed for him to just relax and play with her.

It didn’t help that I also knew he was thinking about whether or not to tell me the truth. I thought about asking him again, which would force the issue and make him tell me what was going on earlier. But then, why did I have to? He’d had plenty of opportunities to just talk to me, and he’d chosen not to. I decided not to stick around and wait for him to decide.

I had just started to stand when he reached out for my hand.

“Don’t go,“ he said.

I leaned back against the couch again and let my hand stay in his. His request was sincere, and he seemed like he needed the contact. So did I, if I were being honest.

“I didn’t want to tell you this,” he began. “I know I must, but I don’t want you to be upset. I hate seeing you upset and worried and scared. But if I don’t tell you, then you won’t know to be on guard and protect yourself and Emilia from danger.”

I looked at him for a moment and decided to ask, “On guard against what?” I knew I wouldn’t like the answer, so I breathed in deep and linked my fingers with his, waiting for the inevitable bad news.

“Junior’s on the loose again,“ he said, his voice soft and quiet.

I could tell he was trying to keep from screaming the words. He had our daughter in his arms, and he was holding her and rubbing her back to keep himself calm.

I wanted to scream myself. This was a man who was pure evil. He was one of my worst nightmares. I was terrified of him and so tired of having to think about him in my life. I wished he would just move on and find someone else to make miserable. But at the same time, I was confident that I would defend myself and my child from him if I had to. I just hoped it didn’t come to that.

“The guys aren’t sure how and where they slipped up,” he continued. “They don’t know how he got away. The car that he was in was occupied by someone else today when we found it. We stayed there for a little bit to see if the guy would meet up with Junior or not. When it seemed like the guy would sit there forever, they took me back to the car and I came home. Our guys are still trailing that person.”

“What’s being done to find him?“ I asked.

I was surprised that my voice was even and that it didn’t tremble. Everything inside of me was trembling. I knew what Junior was capable of. He was a sociopath who needed to be six feet under in somebody’s graveyard. Wishing him dead made me feel awful, but I knew I would rather it be him than me and my baby.

As I looked at Emilia, playing in Elio’s arms and babbling at him about something nonsensical, I felt like weeping. I wanted to snatch her out of Elio’s arms and run away. 𝒻𝑟𝘦𝘦𝘸ℯ𝒷𝑛𝘰𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝘤𝘰𝘮

I looked up and my eyes met his. I saw the anger and frustration in him. I wondered if he could see the pain and fear in me. Did he see that I wanted to run away? Could he see that this life didn’t seem as interesting and fulfilling to me as it once did?

I liked the mafia life, especially at first when it was just us. It was interesting and intriguing. I got to be a bad ass sometimes. I knew how to defend myself. I learned how to use weapons and to fight. Elio refused to let me be a part of his life and in this world without knowing how to take care of myself.

But there was someone else to be concerned with now. What if something happened to my baby? I’d never forgive myself for it. I knew I would go crazy if something happened to Emilia.

While Elio was my life, I knew it would never be full without our Emilia. I spent most of my days and nights with her. I taught her how to eat her food. I breastfed her for months before we switched to formula.

Everything about this little girl was my whole world. I couldn’t imagine life without her, and I certainly couldn’t imagine my life if she was harmed because of something Elio or I did or didn’t do.

Our eyes were still intertwined those intense flames of anger in his, and I didn’t know what he saw in mine.

I opened my mouth to ask about getting out of the life, then closed it. He loved the life. He absolutely loved being the Don of the family. He loved providing for the family and taking care of the family. How could I ask him to give it up?

“Can I ask you something?“ I asked, still staring into those eyes.

“Sure,“ he readily agreed.

I was grateful that he had answered me so easily, trusting that my question would it be something he wouldn’t want to answer. I looked at that handsome face and realized I wasn’t ready for that conversation.

I was afraid to talk about it with him. If we didn’t have this life, what did we have? If we weren’t in the mafia, who were we? This was our lives. How could I change it so drastically? So, I decided I would put off that question till another night. I would ask another burning question instead.

“Do you think Junior will wait until more of the family gets here?”

“I don’t know. No one can predict what he will do,” Elio said, rubbing his knuckles on my cheek.

Already, I was tired of talking about Junior and everything that his presence implied. We were safe for now. All we had was now. Our little girl was happy and we were there together in the great room our shoes off our clothes a little disheveled.

The TV was on, and the house was brightly lit. The compound was shut down for the night because everybody was inside. There was no danger right now and we were a family. I smiled at him and leaned closer to kiss his lips.

“Let’s not worry about that tonight,“ I said, pulling my hand from his and standing. “I’ll get the popcorn. You and Emilia choose the movie we’re going to watch.“

“What if she wants to watch a cartoon?” Elio asked, giving a mock grimace.

“Well, that’s the breaks,” I said with a shrug.

I walked away to get the popcorn and some snacks for our family night. Tonight, we would celebrate being a family and being able to be safe in each other’s company.

We had so much fun. Emilia didn’t want to sit still, so she used her crawling skills to move around the carpet in front of us. Elio and I cuddled together on the couch, watching her antics while a movie played in the background.

We laughed, we talked, and we loved–Elio, Emilia, and I. We were happy in the present and would worry about what would come tomorrow.