Surrendered To The Lord Of Sin-Chapter 75: Mayhem

Lucrezia swallowed carefully, willing her expression to remain composed as the tea touched her tongue. If she focused on the warmth, perhaps she could pretend the chaos was not clawing at the edges of her mind, and it would stop.

Thankfully, the tea was warm, and steadying enough.

For a moment, that was all she focused on. The heat sliding down her throat, and the faint bitterness settling at the back of her tongue. It gave her something tangible, something ordinary. A mortal sensation in a place that was anything but.

Across the table, Rhaenora sliced another piece of fruit. The knife glided too smoothly, and yet Lucrezia heard the faintest separation of flesh from skin, the delicate rupture of pulp, as clearly as if it had happened inside her own mind.

Vaeloria observed her over the rim of her cup.

"You look pale," She remarked lightly, as though commenting on the weather. "The trial must have been truly taxing. We’ve been informed that your presence in the divine assembly would vary due to your recent episode,"

"It is not unusual," Rhaenora added, her voice silvery and detached, following her sister’s observation. Then she looked at her. For the first time, Lucrezia truly looked at her. She was a beauty. "Mortals are not built for prolonged exposure,"

Mortals.

There it was again. Lucrezia squared her shoulders to steady herself, and her fingers tightened around the porcelain at what was supposed to be a mere observation.

"I’m stronger than I appear, Lady Vaeloria, Lady... Rhaenora," She acknowledged the lady with silver hair for the first time. Lucrezia caught a flicker of distaste in her eyes, and something close to irritation before disappearing in the blink of an eye. Ignoring the manner her pulse skittered, "Perhaps, it’s the weather. The herbs are truly helping, and I feel better than before,"

Vaeloria’s lips curved. "Yes," she replied. "That is precisely what concerns us."

The words struck harder than they should have. Before Lucrezia could untangle their meaning, the woman with candid eyes set her cup down with deliberate gentleness.

"It’s the start of the season and the folks are throwing a fair at the Mayhem today," She started, successfully shifting the awkwardness in the room. Lucrezia returned her attention to her meal. "It’s been a while since we last visited downtown. I thought both of you might join me today."

She concluded, picking her cutlery that echoed louder than it ought to be in Lucrezia’s ears.

Fixing her gaze on the meal before her, "I’ll pass. Perhaps another time,"

The disapproval struck harder than the slice of the piece of fruit against her plate, something in semblance to irritation that didn’t go unnoticed.

"Matters are rising at the inner court that need attention. With the recent movement across the eastern borders, I need to handle a few things," Rheonara responded next. "It would be nice to grace your presence on something far more important than the activities of the folks. Father wouldn’t be pleased to know where you’ve intended to spend your day,"

Unlike Vaeloria who was direct with words, Rhaenora was careful with hers. Lucrezia carefully peered through her lashes across the table at the woman who muttered an inaudible ’oh’ in return.

Shortly after, "Not like he’s ever been pleased with anything," her words caused both of them to cease from motion. Lucrezia felt the room suddenly return the tension in double folds, pressing against her lungs until she continued. "It’s fine," With a strained smile, "I’ll go on my own,"

Silence returned after that. Lucrezia suddenly felt an ache in her chest at the indifference she’d witnessed, reminding her of her past.

Being born different, cursed, and cast out was one thing, but being denied by people meant to be your family was another.

She lived on that loneliness until it was forced to sharpen her into the fact that she was utterly alone in a world like this. Apart from her mother and Madelyn, she’d grown accustomed to being denied the perks of livelihood, and duty came right after. 𝘧𝓇𝑒𝑒𝑤ℯ𝑏𝓃𝘰𝑣ℯ𝘭.𝘤ℴ𝘮

Yet suddenly, witnessing such apathy displayed before her made Lucrezia feel the ache buried inside her for far too long, disperse around her chest.

She couldn’t help but wonder if maybe she was just like her. Maybe she felt the same indifference, the same loneliness she’d felt. Maybe... just maybe, this one could be different, and she could gain her trust.

If she wanted to survive this place, Lucrezia knew she needed at least one person—not clearly on her side—but someone she could rely on for information. Someone inside the court, exactly like the woman with the long mahogany hair.

She was the calmest and most welcoming person she had met since her arrival, which was another reason for her choice. "I-I’m afraid I have nothing doing for the day. It will be an honor to accompany you,"

Her words seemed to have struck the rest when this time, all three ceased. Three pairs of eyes lifted towards her at once and she quickly added, "That’s if... You don’t mind,"

A flicker passed between Vaeloria, Rhaenora, and the woman, and Lucrezia’s fingers tightened around her cup. The silence pressed tightly against her chest, and her heart raced in anticipation.

Finally, she smiled, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "Of course," She beamed. "The weather is quite nasty beyond the threshold. I wonder, considering your health..."

Lucrezia shook her head and forced a small, composed smile. "I’ve managed worse," She replied softly. "I can with this one,"

Her heightened senses betrayed her again and she could hear beneath the composed breathing and rustle of fabric, an armor being buckled tighter somewhere deeper in the fortress followed by boots moving in coordinated rhythm.

The tea trembled slightly in her grip, and Vaeloria noticed.

"Very well then," The woman approved with a bright gaze. "I shall gather my stuffs and we will leave immediately,"

Lucrezia allowed her excitement seep into the tight lock of her bones, and the prying noises inside her mind. Thankfully, whatever herbal tea this was managed to overcome the rigidity of her muscles.

"You forget your place, Vespera. Punishments are not granted privileges past the threshold, especially now situation has shifted course," Vaeloria intercepted gruffly.

Her heart sank at the mention of the word ’Punishment’ as if she was some kind of ritual.

It was the first time Lucrezia heard her speak in such a manner. Other than the usual amusement, there was this underlying annoyance weighing her tone.

"There’s nothing wrong with her keeping me company, Vael. After all, she’s still considered a guest until the mating bond begins. We’ve been following that accord for far too long to be altered now," The woman called Vespera said. "Let me worry about the consequences. She’ll be beside me all along,"

She passed her a small unnoticeable smile that was quick to disappear the moment it appeared, and Lucrezia’s lips twitched in return.

For a moment, Lucrezia doubted she would be approved, judging from the manner in which silence stretched across the room.

She didn’t realize she’d been holding her breath until Vaeloria’s gaze narrowed towards Vespera with a ’suit-yourself’ kind of look, silently proceeding with her meal.

She released a sigh.

Breakfast continued in an awkward silence after that. The food in her stomach was nothing more grounding than to survive the day. Taste had long fled her tastebud. She could barely approve of any flavor that didn’t taste metallic.

Thankfully, it ended sooner than she’d expected with Vaeloria taking a silent leave and Rheonara following a few minutes later.

Vespera requested that she meet her later that afternoon. Lucrezia returned to her chambers, draping herself with a fine thick coat that hid her small frame and pooled heavily around her feet.

Wearing her gloves around her fingers, Lucrezia stared at her reflection one last time. Her thick brown hair was left to fall graciously across her shoulders, adorned with silver pins that held a few strands in place.

Indeed, her skin looked pale, and her eyes grew heavy and tired. She could still feel the dull press of noises inside her head, and she took a deep breath before it grew worse, leaving the chamber behind.