Surviving As An Extra In Fantasy World Isn't Easy-Chapter 125 :Insecurities

As soon as students came out from the virtual world, all of them were taken to the infirmary for a check-up. The damages and wounds they had gotten in the virtual realm wouldn't reflect on them but after going through a brutal battle and the feeling of death, many of them might have mental abnormalities and trauma that may be detrimental to them in the future.

Many students who were killed earlier in the virtual world became unconscious as soon as they stepped out. While many cried out in pain still feeling the pain of getting their flesh ripped.

The weaker ones who died were affected the most.

Lucas even saw Ezekiel destroying things and screaming his name like a maniac and was forced to sleep by the Priest's spell.

"Do you feel any abnormality?"Halos, the doctor who oversees things in the infirmary asked.

"I am alright. Except for some minor headaches."Lucas then pausing a bit, stared at his left arm and spoke.

"My left arm feels a bit weird. There is an incoordination in the movement."

"That's because you lost your arm and regained it as you came out again. So, your mind is still confused about reality and illusion. Just take a rest and stretch a bit. It will go back to normal."

"Okay!"

"If you feel any abnormality. Inform us. The Priest can cast a healing spell that calms your mind."

Halos, after noting down Lucas's condition, was about to leave when Lucas spoke in a stuttering voice.

"Th...There is another, I wanted to ask about."

Halo's brows creased seeing Lucas's condition and felt something was off with the boy.

"When I was on the mission, I saw some dead bodies. I am already used to killing and seeing corpses but the bodies were disfigured in odd shapes. Maybe it was too much for me as my mind almost exploded seeing that and my vision turned red."

Lucas's body shivered a bit as he looked at his hands.

"I felt like I was sinking in a pool of blood. I tried to get away but hands emerged from the pool and tried to pull him down. I can't describe it but the picture is still vivid in my memories."

Speaking up, as Lucas propped his chin, his pupil stirred.

The light turned abnormally red. Instead of humans, he saw a bloodied skeleton standing before him and his feet were sunk in half a waist puddle of blood.

Unlike before, Lucas didn't freak out. Slowly he had been getting used to this unfamiliar sensation.

Every time he lets his thoughts go wild, he loses the reign of his emotions.

"Do you feel anything?"

Lucas snapped out of his thoughts hearing the voice.

"You came at the correct time Angelo."Halos smiled bending down and whispered"Lucas, I am sure Angelo will help you. He is best when it comes to this."

Halos casting a meaningful smile left quickly.

Angelo then sat beside Lucas and asked"What do you feel seeing them?"

"Did you feel guilty? Did you feel remorse? Most psychological trauma originates from the guilt of killing that starts to eat you slowly however it is also a good thing."

Lucas frowned for a moment. Seeing Angelo's pure white eyes, he asked"How?"

Angelo pointing at Lucas's chest answered"It proves that you have a heart. Most of the people as they climb higher, either lose it or it becomes stone. They feel emotions are burdensome which makes them weak so they try to cut them down. Every time, we do something whether good or bad, we should question ourselves?''

"What am I feeling now? Is there a better way to do this? Would things have been different if I took a different path? All of these questions might feel meaningless but when we reach the end of the journey, it will be these questions that will keep us connected to the ideal and beliefs so tell me Lucas, what came to your mind seeking them?"

Lucas caused his mind, taking a moment to ponder about the things. His stirring heart started calming down steadily.

"I did not feel guilty nor remorse. It was not my fault that I ended up like this, however, it was uncomfortable. My heart wrenched seeing those innocent gazes filled with sorrow and disbelief. I pitied them not because I wanted to, it was just because I felt sad for them to lose their lives like this."

Angelo squinted his eyes seeking Lucas's aura becoming darker. A subtle trail of crimson aura covered the gloominess.

"That's where I thought. If one day, I end up like them, would anyone pity me? Would someone take revenge for me? What if the corpse lying before belongs to someone I love or my acquaintance? What would I do then? What will I feel? I don't want to end up like this nor do I want anyone close to me?"

"I am a coward. I fear that one day this thin veil of peace would be torn apart and I will die brutally. I just don't know how to cope with this."Lucas's breathing hastened as he poured out things that he had been suppressed in his since the beginning.

Angelo, sighing heavily, patted Lucas's shoulder and spoke calmly, "I will not give you false security, Lucas."

"You will face defeats, you will face fear, you may also see your loved ones die, and you will face many insecurities like this. Life is a blend of happiness and sadness bound together. One's life doesn't have to be grand and full of ambition. As long as you can live a life true to your desire, you can accomplish many things."Angelo then reminisced about his past and spoke.

"In truth, even I am like you. Even though I fear death and fear of losing everything just because of that I can't step back, can I?So, all I need to do is work forward with such momentum that everything which comes my way would be torn apart. The greatest way to get rid of insecurities is to get stronger. Get stronger until nothing can pose any threat to us. Only then, you can protect yourself and others from harm. As per the trauma, try to rest and sleep by thinking positively. Justify your reason. As long as you think, what has been done was the right thing, your trauma will slowly disappear."

"I wish it was that easy, "Lucas said with a bitter smile.

...

While Lucas and Angelo conversed, outside the room two shadows stood there motionless.

"I told you he isn't alright," Parth murmured.

"It's not easy when it comes to things like this. He is a weird guy. He knows how to control himself to the point that he looks like the perfect guy but he has his own set of insecurities. Every time I see him, I can feel a huge burden weighing on his shoulder"Frederick spoke remembering Lucas's actions.

Unlike Lucas, Frederick was quite hot-blooded and retaliated at the slightest grievance. After suffering a bitter childhood, he wants to fly and wants other acknowledgements. For that, he always tries to clash with anyone as soon as he is provoked. However, meeting Lucas he understood that he had always been rash and quite immature.

To jump, one needs to step back and strike with all his might. Nothing good comes out if you keep on provoking everybody. Moreover, you don't need people's acknowledgement to move further. As long as your heart tells you that you have done good work, that's enough.

In his mind, Lucas may look weak but he was the type of guy you can depend on. This was also the case with the mission. Without him, Frederick wasn't confident enough to take care of things as perfectly as Lucas did.

"I wish, I may be stronger and a dependable guy so that he could one day share his problem with us," Frederick spoke with a sigh. 𝚋ｅ𝚍ｎ𝚘ｖｅ𝚕．𝚘𝚛𝚐

"He needs some time to figure out his thoughts. I am sure he will ask for our help if he feels the need for it."Parth spoke with a sigh.

"I hope so."Frederick closed his sinking into deep memories.