The Abandoned Empress-Chapter 312

Losing my patience, I finally visited Monique’s house, but I got angry again against my will. I could not help it. As someone who vowed to master fencing, how could she do such stupid things?

So, I was mad at her again and came back, vowing that I would never see her, but I was still bothered by her, who collapsed after passing out. Her pale face, her silver hair that lost its shine and her haggard figure, who got so skinny over the past few weeks, weighed heavily on my mind.

It was the first time I could not concentrate while practicing fencing. In the end, I went to her house again only to be expelled. My pride was so much hurt that I vowed I would never see her again. But I found myself missing her again. Before I knew it, I was being drawn to her gradually.

I was more and more happy when I spent time with her, and I was thrilled when she occasionally smiled at me. It was around that time that I came to realize there was another guy who also liked her. One day when I was in the thick of practicing, I turned my head at a stranger’s voice and found him hugging her.

I was upset by her bright smile at him, which I had never experienced. I was annoyed to hear her calling his name while calling me with a title. I was frustrated to notice her treating him casually even when he cast a cold glance at her. I got more and more frustrated when the man was even allowed to call her nickname casually after begging her.

He asked to talk with me, so we moved to a place nearby where she could not overhear our dialogue. Even there he was still polite and cordial to me. As I was so embarrassed, I just sneered at him.

When asked, he looked around, then showed his true colors. Befitting his image as the genius of the century, he had such a way with words. When I denounced him as a sissy boy, he resisted and ridiculed me. I felt disgusted at the way he pretended to be polite and kind to the girl. I was more upset because of her who didn’t know his true colors.

While I was trying to keep him at bay, I forgot what’s really a very important fact, which was that she was the crown prince’s fiancee.

She looked markedly depressed after receiving a letter from the crown prince. In the end, she appeared as his partner at his coming-of-age ceremony. Dressed up to match each other’s hair color, they looked so comfortable together. As if they were so happy together, the crown prince kept whispering into her ear while dancing. Moreover, even after he was done dancing, he was staring at her for a while instead of leaving. After he sat back at the head table with her, side by side, he talked with her.

I felt heartbroken because the couple looked firmly united. I didn’t have the heart to interfere with them. I was aware that they were engaged, but little did I think they would actually get married because I knew she was learning fencing to succeed her family. I just thought their engagement was a mere formality. But when I saw them close to each other, my heart ached.

One day while trying to calm my troubled heart, I was ordered by my father to teach her fencing because he struck some deal with the Monique family. At that time, I was trying to distance myself from her, thinking I should not get close to her because she would be the crown prince’s wife.

Although my heart froze after his coming-of-age day, it began to thump again at the thought of reuniting with her through fencing. The voice of the silver-haired girl who resembled my beloved sword, her faint smile at me and her voice that called Carsein quietly came to my mind vividly. I felt like my broken heart seemed to have been healed.

One day before I left for the estate of the Monique family in excitement, an unexpected guest came to see me. He was Allendis. Unlike me, who was a little tanned from practicing in the sun, his skin was always fair, which annoyed me all the more. He looked dejected when he visited me, asking me if I also saw the crown prince hobnobbing with her on his coming-of-age day. He even suggested we stay united, though he didn’t like it.

When I accepted his proposal after pondering over it for a while, he told me with a bitter expression that since he was disqualified, I should double my efforts to protect her on my behalf. I asked him what the heck he was talking about, but he refused to answer, and instead handed me a letter, asking me to deliver it to her.

The time I spent with the girl at the Monique estate was the happiest time in my fifteen years of life. Our daily routine such as eating together, having fun, and practicing fencing together was so much fun. I got carried away with the joy of being with the two things I loved most, namely the sword and the girl. I was annoyed by the letters sent by Allendis to her more often than not. Except for that, I had a peaceful day, thinking ‘How good would it be if I could live with her like this all my life?”

As I got carried away with my own happiness, I didn’t realize her misfortune.

I felt she was weird when she received a letter from the crown prince, informing her of his upcoming visit. But as I saw the couple enjoying being together at the party, I thought it’s perhaps because she was thrilled.

I felt tempted to tease her, so I kept playing tricks on her and teasing her until the crown prince arrived. When I felt that it was me alone who felt happy about spending time with her, I got more upset, so I harassed her, which I regretted a lot later.

When I saw the residents of the estate welcoming the procession of the crown prince, I really felt bitter. The Monique family was renowned for their oath and absolute loyalty to the imperial family. Like they say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. So, I wondered if she could not be freed from the crown prince because she was the immediate member of the Monique family.

I knew that I had no right to interfere with the couple. Nevertheless, I felt heartbroken somehow.

Contrary to the perception among the people that he was a very cold-hearted man, the crown prince was faintly smiling at her when he met her. During the dinner one day, when I also joined them, the crown prince took care of her, while he kept emphasizing that she was his ‘fiancee’, which made me feel bitter. I felt I was too miserable when I couldn’t balk at the crown prince’s message that he would like to spend time with her alone.

Only

I left the drawing room and leaned back on the door. I was conscious of the royal knights on standby, but I was so depressed that I could not even move. I was suddenly awakened by the subtle change in her emotions when she was with the crown prince. Obviously, she treated the crown prince differently from the way she treated me and Allendis, which was rather more cautious and considerate. I could not erase her subtle care about the crown prince from my mind.

At that moment, I heard her sudden screaming and the crown prince urgently calling for the royal doctor.

I jumped into the parlor with the royal knights. I didn’t know what happened before I arrived there, but she, who passed out, was held in the crown prince’s arms.

Only then did I realize that her face was pale after she received the letter from the crown prince, she was getting skinny because she could hardly eat, and that she was restless and nervous in a break with her usual calmness and composure.

I also recalled she passed out while practicing fencing excessively one year ago.

I thought I was so stupid that although I knew she was not learning fencing as a hobby, I ignored it when she was nervous or unstable, thinking it was caused by her excitement.

I should have realized that being the successor of the Monique family could not replace the position of the empress or vice versa. It was clear that she wanted to be the successor of her family, given her hard training, rather than being the crown prince’s wife. But I ignored all these factors without paying attention to her concerns, blinded by jealousy.