The Alpha's Omega Mate-Chapter 103: Conflicting emotions.

~Zarek’s POV~

My footsteps echoed along the empty hallway as I made my way up to the parapet walk with Nyx following closely behind me.

She didn’t say a word as we strode through the hallways, but from the way her heart seemed to race frantically, I knew that she was either scared or worried.

That or she thinks I was about to scold her for interrupting my conversation with Jennifer earlier— and maybe I would.

I was however snapped out of my thoughts when we finally arrived at the top of the parapet walk, and as soon as we did, I couldn’t help but glance down at the foot of the house. And...

Fucking moon goddess in an orgy!

The height was a lot! A shudder ran through me just then because an image of Dahlia falling down this height fleeted past my mind, filling me with so much fear and anger that my body trembled.

Surely, she didn’t do this to herself. There was no way she would jump down this height willingly. All for what?

"Alpha, you wanted to see me." A soft feminine voice called out to me and for a split second, I was momentarily stunned. I had almost forgotten all about Nyx and her presence beside me that her voice had sounded so foreign, it snapped me out of my daze.

I frowned. "What?"

Maybe it was the tone of my voice or my intimidating aura. Maybe it was the frown lining my face, but I saw Nyx flinch in fear. And I should feel bad about that, but for some reason, I didn’t.

She whispered; "You said you wanted to see me earlier and asked me to come with you."

"Oh..." I drawled, my disheveled mind snapping into sharp focus. "I did. I wanted us to talk about you and Leila."

"Oh," she drawled, and then looking into my eyes, she softly asked; "What about?"

Now, I could no longer look into her eyes. I straightened my sleeves— mostly because I wanted, no, needed to distract myself with something else— and then... "You see, I’m not trying to shy away from my responsibilities to you as Leila’s father, but I don’t think I feel comfortable having you in my pack anymore." I said slowly, coldly, watching the way she froze. Watching the way she threw her head back as if slapped, and noticing how the color drained from her face in seconds.

Her eyes glazed over in nanoseconds and she instantly dropped her head to begin fidgeting with her fingers. Usually, that move was something I could never resist. Usually, it was enough to make me move the mountains if she did as much as asked. But now, it didn’t.

I simply felt irritated.

"See, I’m not throwing you out." I snapped, hoping to reassure her, but she just wouldn’t stop fidgeting. Even her bottom lip now appeared bloody from how hard she was incessantly biting on it.

Wiping my face to rid myself of the worry lines etching their way deep into my skin, I continued; "I’ll help you settle in any neighboring pack of your choice, well besides Silvermoon pack of course, and if you feel like moving to human settlements would make you feel better, then that’s just fine by me as well."

Nyx stopped to glare at me, her hazel eyes shining with a kind of fury that I haven’t seen on her in a long time. She slowly wiped her tears with the back of her sleeves and asked; "Do you have another child?"

I balked, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

For a very split moment, Amara’s lit up face and shiny green eyes flashed in my subconscious, and a strange kind of warmth made my heart swell in my chest, but shaking my head to rid myself of these weird thoughts, I spat;

"Hell, no! Why would you even ask that? Were you told I had one?"

"Because you just acted like you do... and like Leila and I are inconveniences you’d like to get rid of." Her voice was cold, icy and so low, one would hardly make out the words she’d said.

But I did.

And I heard her very clearly.

"Leila isn’t inconveniencing me in any way..." I drawled, intentionally allowing the rest of the unfinished statement hang between us like cigarette smoke.

Nyx seemed to understand what I meant by that because then she paused. Or I could say froze. Because she literally stopped moving. Heck, it even felt like she stopped breathing too at some point.

And then like the crack of thunder in a still night sky, she cracked; "And I am?!"

I nodded once, not saying a word.

"Zarek, I don’t even bother you!"

"Your presence bothers me a lot." I replied indifferently, ignoring the way tears streamed down her face like a broken dam.

"I have tried so hard to be out of your way and hair ever since my arrival here!" She cried, "...and you still think I’m a bother?!"

Something in my heart twisted when she jabbed at her chest forcefully while she spoke, her body trembling as violent sobs wracked her entire frame. In the moment, I felt immeasurable pain and grief. I wanted to give her a hug... to tell her that it was all fine. But I couldn’t.

Not when I could vividly remember how she’d hurt me without looking back.

Not when I have scars to remember just how deeply hurt I’d been when she abandoned me.

Whatever she felt now was nothing compared to that. Hell, she wouldn’t even be here now if there wasn’t an issue between her and her sweet butler— not that I care.

I shook my head slowly and took a step back, to put as much space between us as I could, and then I whispered; "Stop with the dramatics, Nyxenora. I’m not throwing you and our out, and you know that."

"But you’re not even trying to give our daughter the chance to know her father!"

"Nyx—"

"Or do you think I haven’t heard about how well you treat that servant’s daughter? That I don’t hear it when people speculate that you love her more than you love your own blood?!"

An image of fiery eyed Amara flashed through my mind just as my eyes widened. I snapped; "That’s preposterous!"

But deep down, I knew that it wasn’t. And I knew that I was wrong, but what else was I supposed to do? Tell her that it was all true?

That I felt more connection between Dahlia and her daughter than I ever did with her and hers?

"Zarek, don’t try to gaslight me—"

"And I think you have forgotten that you’ve lost the right to refer to me by my given name. To you, I am Alpha and I will remain that for as long as we both live. Do you understand?"

Nyx nodded frantically, her eyes darting to the floor as she tried to avoid my glare.

I continued; "Now, I give zero fucks about what you think about me. I don’t care about the gossip you must’ve heard. You’re leaving this pack, and that’s all that matters! Understood?"

"B-but what about—?" She began to say but I quickly interrupted her before she could go further.

"As for Leila, if you think she’ll be better off staying here with me, then I have no problems with that. I’ll even have her arranged to live in my wing, if that would make you feel better. Heaven knows that I do not hate her. I just cannot stand you."

Nyx gulped as more tears sprang free from her eyes. But that didn’t stop me from continuing. I said; "I will give you from now until tomorrow evening to come to me with whatever decision you make. So until then, have a nice day."

And with that, I brushed past her into the house, ignoring the way my words seemed to break her more with each passing second. Even from here— and I’ve taken several steps away from her— I could hear her sobs, her hiccups. I could feel her pain.

But it was nothing compared to mine.

Nothing compared to how foolish I’d felt when she tossed me to the curb.

My heart ached terribly as I walked further away from her, and even though a dark twisted part of me wanted to return to her, to wrap my arms around her, I couldn’t.

’Why are you still so soft for her?’ Moartea whined in my head and I shook my head instantly.

’I’m not soft.’

’But I feel what you feel, cunt. I feel how badly you want to return to her... do you love pain so much? Do you have to be killed twice before understanding the true meaning of death?’

’I don’t get what you mean?’

’Neither do I get these conflicting emotions you’re bombarding me with. We have a mate now, dumbo. We have Dahlia, and I’ll remain as loyal to her as a fly is to a corpse.’

I rolled my eyes. ’No one asked you not to be.’ I spat in irritation.

’Your stupid feelings say otherwise!’ He snapped back and with that, disconnected from our bond like the coward that he was, whilst leaving me confused and utterly disoriented.

As his words echoed in my mind, I thought too about Dahlia.

"Maybe I should go and see her," I said slowly, remembering how she had asked me out of her ward the last time I’d gone to see her.

But it’s been several hours, and she must be hungry...

So with that thought, I made my way to the kitchen to get the maids to prepare something for her. However, I was stunned when the first person I ran into was... Jennifer.

And she was whispering to the cook in hushed tones.