The Bride He Hates-Chapter 107: The Second Goodbye

"Lyanna, please don’t..."

"Don’t what?" Lyanna stopped and turned to him. "Don’t notice that the second there’s a crisis, you revert to the same pattern? Shutting me out, making decisions for me, treating me like a liability?"

"There’s an attack happening!" Azrael replied in frustration. "I don’t have time for..."

"For what?" Lyanna asked bitterly.

"I’m trying to keep you safe! There are hundreds of Crimson Cross fighters attacking Thornfield right now! People are dying! And you’re upset because I suggested you go to a neutral territory?"

Lyanna laughed in amusement.

"You’re controlling me again."

"Control?" Azrael asked, surprised. "I’m trying to protect you. How is that control?"

"Because you didn’t ask me." Lyanna replied. "You assessed the situation, made the decision, and issued an order. Just like you always do."

"What was I supposed to do?" Azrael asked. "Stand here and have a lengthy discussion about whether you’d like to go or not while Thornfield burns? Hold a democratic vote on your safety? There isn’t time for that!"

"There’s always a time for two sentences of respect." Lyanna replied. "I’m not mad about your decision, Azrael. I’m mad about the process."

"For God’s sake, Lyanna, I’m a king who has to make fast decisions in urgent situations!" Azrael shouted but then tried to calm himself down.

"Your safety is my responsibility, Lyanna. You’re my wife!"

"I’m also a person!" Lyanna cried. "With my own judgement! I have the right to make decisions about my own life! But you can’t see me as anything but someone who needs to be protected, controlled and managed!"

She wiped her tears.

"I’m going back to Valdris. Not because you told me to, but because I want to."

She started walking towards her carriage again.

"Lyanna, wait!" Azrael called after her. "We haven’t finished talking!"

She stopped and turned to face him one last time.

"We have. You showed me exactly who you are when crisis hits, and I showed you exactly why I left."

"So that’s it? One crisis and you decide we’re over? That’s all we’re worth to you?"

"I’m not giving up!" Lyanna replied, tears streaming down her face. "I’m accepting reality! We’re not compatible! We bring out the worst in each other! You become controlling and I become defensive, and we destroy each other over and over again!"

"We bring out the best in each other when we’re not fighting!" Azrael argued. "When we’re actually together, when we’re not letting pride and fear get in the way..."

"But we can’t stay like that forever. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep having the same fight."

"So you’re leaving again?"

"I’m just choosing myself." She replied and left the castle, and this time he didn’t call her.

Lyanna was about to step into her carriage when Azrael came running out.

"Fine. Go back to being a human." Azrael’s voice was dripping with contempt now. "Pretend you’re not a vampire, pretend you’re not my queen."

Lyanna froze.

"But remember, you’re running again. Just like you ran from our wedding six, sorry, seven years ago."

The comparison hit her hard.

"How dare you?"

"Seven years ago, you publicly rejected me at our wedding because your mother manipulated you. And now, you’re manipulating yourself by overthinking and repeating the same thing."

"Stop." Lyanna shouted. "That’s not true! I’m not manipulating myself. I stayed, tried and fought for us even when you were cruel, controlling and impossible!"

"And the moment it got really hard, you left. Just like you’re leaving now."

For a moment, she couldn’t breathe. Then she wiped her tears.

"You’re right. I am scared. I’m scared of becoming so broken by trying to be a vampire for you that I lose everything that makes me who I am." She took a deep breath. "So yes, I’m running. And running doesn’t always mean cowardice, sometimes it’s survival."

She sat in her carriage and looked at him. He was standing there, looking shattered.

"Goodbye, Azrael. I hope you find a proper vampire queen who can give you what I couldn’t."

"Don’t do this," Azrael said, he sounded desperate now. "Please. Please don’t leave like this. We can talk."

"We’ve talked enough and every time we talk, you end up saying something that hurts me a little more. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep loving someone who hurts me this badly every time things get difficult."

The carriage started moving. Azrael watched her go, watched the woman he loved going out of his life for the second time.

And he stood there like an idiot, pride keeping him standing there when his every instinct screamed at him to run after her, to beg, to take back every cruel word. When she was almost out of sight, something broke inside him.

"LYANNA!" He screamed her name.

She didn’t stop.

"LYANNA, PLEASE!" He screamed again. "I’M SORRY! I DIDN’T MEAN IT! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE!"

But she was gone.

Lyanna drove back to Valdris in a daze. She didn’t remember anything about the journey. Her mind kept replaying their fight over and over.

Just like you ran from our wedding seven years ago.

The comparison hurt her and she started wondering if he was right.

Am I running? Am I giving up too easily?

No. Leaving something that destroys you isn’t cowardice. It’s survival.

By the time she reached Valdris, it was late afternoon. Roland was waiting for her in the courtyard.

"Lyanna." He sounded concerned. "What happened?"

"It’s over. Really over this time."

"Come inside. You look exhausted."

She went inside and sat in the sitting room. He brought her tea and put a blanket around her shoulders.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Roland asked.

"We kissed." Lyanna replied, looking outside the window. "He begged me to come back. I was going to say yes, and then a messenger arrived about an attack on Thornfield and he immediately started giving me orders. He told me to go back to Valdris like I was his soldier. It felt as if nothing had changed."

Roland listened to her quietly.

"And then I told him I was leaving and he compared me to seven years ago. He said I can’t handle difficult things. He said I’m a coward."

"You’re not a coward."

"How do you know?" Lyanna asked, tears streaming down her face. "How do you know he’s not right?"

"Because I’ve watched you for weeks. You’re the least cowardly person I know. You left a powerful king when it would have been easier to stay. You’ve fought for cooperation in territories where people wanted you dead. That’s not cowardice, Lyanna."

"But I still love him. Even after everything he said. I still love him. What’s wrong with me?"

Roland smiled.

"Love doesn’t disappear just because someone hurts you."

Lyanna sat in silence, crying quietly, trying to believe Roland’s words instead of Azrael’s harsh accusations.