The Darkness was Comfortable for me-Chapter 120: The Waking of Loneliness and Party Name

I didn’t think my perfect life plan was going to be destroyed like this.

My plan partially crumbled the moment Nanami-neesan was chosen to be transported to a parallel world.

The moment Nanami-neesan was killed and my brother was transferred, my plan turned into ashes.

I won’t forgive the culprit. That’s a matter of course.

I won’t forgive God.

But I am merely a person. I can’t fight God.

However, I can use God.

No matter what means I have to use…

I am definitely going to revive my life plan that has turned into ashes.

◇◆◆◆◇

I, Kurose Hikaru, am a parallel world otherworlder.

If I had been in Japan without being transferred, I would be in the 3rd term of my 1st year in highschool.

I might have been thinking bit by bit about what university to go to, or if I would leave the house and get a job.

But now that is a far memory, like a far illusion or something.

In the morning, I wake up on the crude bed of the inn.

I lazily roll around the bed and try to form my plans for today, but the Viewer Count Race has ended, Rifreya has left, and with the entrance prohibition still in place for the dungeon, I don’t have any plans at all.

(…So lonely.) (Hikaru)

While I was rolling around the bed alone, a feeling of loneliness I have never tasted before had stabbed my back.

My chest was throbbing for no reason, and the realization that I am alone in this world with no place to go had come down onto me.

It is a sensation that I haven’t tasted for a while since coming to this world.

Or it might even be the first time.

I was desperate when getting out from the forest, and after that, I continued hiding in the darkness.

Since meeting Rifreya, my head was filled with the Viewer Count Race…

“Alone…in a world where I know no one, huh…” (Hikaru)

I unconsciously mutter this and put a pillow on me from the embarrassment.

I probably managed to forget this loneliness thanks to Rifreya being there.

Now that I have separated from her and I have lost my objective, which was the Viewer Count Race, I didn’t expect to feel this much loneliness from being alone.

I didn’t expect…my heart to be this weak.

The gazes from Earth are probably not as scary as they were before.

By meeting Rifreya, I have managed to become a bit more positive.

I don’t have the courage to open all the messages yet, but maybe if it is bit by bit…like 1 message every day, maybe I can open them? That’s how I felt.

My mailbox has gone silent at +999. I don’t know the actual number anymore.

I have no choice but to check them in order. I don’t even know the contents of it, and I don’t know from who they are.

“Kuh…” (Hikaru)

My finger I was about to stretch out wasn’t advancing no matter what.

Opening the mailbox; that’s all I have to do, and yet, it was like opening the lid to hell.

The loneliness and a feeling of constriction mixed and created fear that crawled my back.

—He seems to be enjoying his isekai life even after killing his girlfriend. Just die already. What are you surviving for?

—Is the air of the isekai tasty after taking away the future of Nanami-chan and obtaining power?

—You should have been eaten alive.

When I look at the message screen, I always end up remembering that time.

Barely getting out of that forest with my life still on me, I learned that I was hated by the whole world as the killer of Nanami.

“Damn it…!” (Hikaru)

I really am weak.

Now that the Viewer Count Race is over, there’s no need to be conscious about the number of people watching me.

Rifreya has already left, so I have no choice but to live while not associating with anyone too deeply.

I have no choice but to live as a handyman in this unknown world, as a normal person.

However, if I create a clear distance between me and Earth, maybe I can open the messages without minding about it?

…But it is still impossible for me.

My finger trembles when I try to open that, and I hear the voices.

“After killing his girlfriend’s family, he is going all OP isekai protagonist?”

“Everyone in the whole world is watching you. Killing your childhood friend and even a Demon Lord, kudos to you. You must have really wanted to go OP protagonist that much in the isekai.”

“You are a killer! What’s that about being a hero?!”

I close the Status Board, cover myself in a thin blanket, and shut my eyes.

I didn’t do it.

But 1 week or maybe 10 days had passed when I got out of the forest.

Nanami was killed right at the day when I transferred. It should have been known right away.

Celica and Karen were at home, and the two even have a spare key to Nanami’s house. Even if that’s not the case, the fact that Nanami wasn’t transferred, and the fact that I was chosen would have made everyone realize something happened.

And yet, despite 10 days having passed after that, I was still considered the culprit.

In other words, the true culprit had not been found, and my false charge wasn’t cleared either.

It is a false accusation in the truest of words.

But I have outstanding little sisters like Celica and Karen, and yet that false accusation wasn’t cleared, so there’s no doubt it is impossible to do so. I can’t say I was a good brother to the two, but even with that, I still think that those two would have taken my side, and they would have literally used a variety of means to clear the false accusations. In that sense, those two can be trusted.

Even for the two, having a relative being considered a criminal would be detrimental for them.

I don’t know how well the culprit did it, but…

(The situation turned for the better after that… There’s no way that’s the case, right…?) (Hikaru)

It is something that I have thought of countless times already.

The chance that things have changed for the better in the time I didn’t open the messages. Of course, the chances are not zero. There’s the chance that the true culprit has been caught and Hikaru has been found innocent.

But I also understand that it could also not be the case.

If it has been proved that I am not guilty, the people that were watching me while wishing for me to die pathetically would have no reason to watch me anymore.

There’s no doubt that I managed to get 1st place in the Total Rankings even if temporarily in the Viewer Count Race because I am still gathering attention as the culprit for killing Nanami.

It is not like Rifreya and the new sights of the dungeon exploration didn’t play any part in it, but there’s no way I could get 1st place in the whole competition.

There’s more than 700 Chosen.

I don’t know what kind of isekai life they are leading, but if I didn’t have special circumstances, there’s no way I would be able to pass those 700 people.

After the party ended, I tried asking Alex discreetly, and even he was only 28th in the Viewer Count Race.

That Alex that had formed a party, his dungeon exploration was going well, and he was proactive in speaking with women, has a good personality, and is a good looking guy.

(It is because I am still being seen as a killer that I managed to get 1st place. How ironic.) (Hikaru)

I am not someone that could get attention if I didn’t have any circumstances.

I am by no means a special attention-grabbing person like Celica and Karen.

◇◆◆◆◇

After curling up on the bed for a while and sleeping for a bit, I squirmed up.

Let’s stop forcing myself to think about the messages, about Earth.

There might be a time when I have to face those, and maybe it will never come. But for me currently, it is simply an act that would hurt my heart. It is taking my all just to live, so I have no leeway to push myself to touch that.

I put on my boots, fix myself to the minimum degree, and exit the inn.

I get some simple stuff in my stomach on the way, and arrive at the guild.

(I am lucky.) (Hikaru)

The guild was more inactive than usual.

The dungeon is prohibited from entry, so all the explorers are currently off.

Or maybe doing work outside the dungeon like bodyguarding, collecting medicinal plants, or monster extermination.

I walk inside the guild and search for what I was looking for.

(7 days remaining in the entrance prohibition.) (Hikaru)

It was posted in big letters ‘7 days left!’ with thick parchment that had signs of having been used countless times. They are most likely using it every time there’s a Demon Lord subjugation.

I don’t get what this chaotic element inside the dungeon is, but anyways, if we leave it be, this so-called chaotic element will be in a nice state, and it will be easier to get Spirit Stones from defeating monsters.

Until then, you can’t enter.

“Ah, you! You are Hikaru-san, right? Have some time?”

I was called, so I looked, and it was the staff member at the time of the party.

What business does she have…is the question I posed, but it must be about the Demon Lord subjugation battle.

I already heard from Alex that I was chosen as the number one contributor.

I was pretty surprised by the fact that they really made a porter as the number one, but it has been decided, so it can’t be helped.

“You still haven’t received the reward for the Demon Lord subjugation, right? It is possible to leave it in the custody of the guild, but what will you do?”

“How much was it?” (Hikaru)

“The number one gets 10 gold.”

“T-Ten?! Gold?!” (Hikaru)

“That’s right. It would be a bit dangerous to walk around with it.”

10 gold is enough money to live for a whole year.

It is difficult to convert it into yen, but in terms of feel, it would be around 8 million yen.

I have gotten rich in one night.

“But…is it really okay for me to be the number one? Isn’t there no precedent of a bronze being number one in a Demon Lord subjugation?” (Hikaru)

“No, it is the 3rd time on record. It would be people that were just beginning as explorers, or strong people that simply left themselves registered; a variety of circumstances. You also had battle experience somewhere else before coming to Meltia, right?”

I don’t have experience, but it is surprising that I am the 3rd one that has become number one in a Demon Lord subjugation as a bronze. People with no prejudice towards Demon Lords might perform more easily.

“However, Demon Lord subjugations are comprised of silver rank or higher recently, so it really has been a while since a low rank has performed. Even now there’s still topics popping up for discussions about delineating things with ranks.”

“Thinking about the possibility of people dying, isn’t that the natural precaution?” (Hikaru)

“Of course. It is a system made for the sake of that after all. But people like you that are bounced off by the system appear every now and then. That’s a loss for the guild too.”

“I think it is irregular enough that it is okay to ignore it -may be weird coming from me though.” (Hikaru)

Being strong from the very beginning is just a delusion.

Even I am not really strong. It is just that I was in the party of Rifreya, and I feel like if I were to explore the 3rd Floor alone 30 times, I would mess up once and die. The 4th Floor is even more impossible.

Even the Demon Lord battle, it simply went barely well luckily.

The reality was that Rifreya almost died, and my attacks barely even worked.

“By the way, the Love-Love Twin Birds still hasn’t been disbanded. What will you do? I heard Rifreya-san has left the city.”

“Love…? Eh…?” (Hikaru)

What did this person say just now?

“Love-Love Twin Birds. The party of you and Rifreya-san.”

“W-What’s…that?” (Hikaru)

“As I said, your party name.”

“E-Eeeh…?” (Hikaru)

I thought I would faint there.

I didn’t care about something like the party name, and Rifreya didn’t say anything, so I didn’t pay it any mind, but Love-Love Twin Birds…?

I was poking fun at the party name of Alex, the Thunder Fangs, but Love-Love Twin Birds…?

“D-Disband it…” (Hikaru)

It took my all just to say that.