The Detective is Already Dead-Chapter 9 - 2.1

That's right—she's the self-proclaimed "cutest idol"

"—My name is Yui Saikawa! I'm an idol singer!"

It was just one damn thing after another.

Detectives are magnets for problems that need solving.

It was evening on a weekend, in front of a train station. Apparently having heard the rumors about me, a new client introduced herself to Natsunagi and me.

Yui Saikawa was a singing, dancing middle school idol who was currently attracting massive amounts of attention in Japan.

From what I'd heard, she'd made her professional debut in sixth grade. Ever since then, people of all ages and genders had loved her for her exceptional gifts in singing and dance, and especially for her adorable face. Her album sales always topped the weekly charts, and thanks to her looks, you could catch her frequently on magazine covers and in TV commercials.

...Still. Yui Saikawa, huh?

Hey, Siesta. Is this another coincidence? Or—

Even so, no one but Siesta herself could know about that conflict.

Yui Saikawa sucked in a deep breath, then shouted at Natsunagi and me: "I want you to stop the theft of a sapphire that's worth three billion yen!"

I know I just said this, but this was a weekend evening in front of a train station.

I'm pretty sure you can imagine what the crowds were like. If a middle school girl started yelling about a three-billion-yen sapphire getting stolen there, it was perfectly natural for all those eyes to end up on her.

Consequently, it's fair to say what I did next was also perfectly natural. "Yes, okay, shut up a second."

I turned to this active idol, a middle school girl I'd only just met—and smacked both my hands over her mouth.

"Mmph! Mmmmmmmrrgh! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmph!" "Okay, come on. Easy, easy."

As Saikawa struggled and kicked, I wrapped my arm around her, desperately trying to muffle her shouts.

After all, I'd just finished a job. I was tired. I was very, very tired.

Even if she was an idol, or a kid, no law in Japan would punish me for blocking her little mouth with everything I had.

"You didn't say anything about three billion yen, right? Right? Ow— Oh, hey, don't run off!"

She'd chomped down on my palm, then swiftly and agilely put some distance between us.

"Wha, wha-wha-wha...?" she stammered. "Where did that come from?! Who—who do you think I am?! I'm the world's cutest idol, Yui Saikawa! Do you know who you're dealing with?!"

"Calm down, Saikawa. Yes, my hands are all sticky with your incredibly cute saliva, but I'm not going to swab it and keep it forever or anything. I'm just tired and want you to shut up. That's all."

"Waaaaaaaaugh! I thought you were a detective, but you're a pervert! ... Hah! Wait, are you the criminal who sent me that notice?! Waaaaaugh! You're not just a pervert; you're a thief! Somebody, get me a policeman! Please call the police!"

"Ha-ha. Sorry, but the police and I are already on good terms."

"N-no! Are you saying this country is already corrupt all the way down?! That the police and the lawyers and the politicians are all on the side of the panty stealers?!"

"Hey, whoa, hold on. Now you're combining your 'pervert' and 'thief' accusations into 'panty stealer'? That's a crime that'll get me in trouble with other prisoners after they throw me in jail, so don't try to pin me with a lie! I'm not a pervert or a thief to begin with!"

"Uh, no. You've got two thousand years of hard labor for the crime of wanton perversion." A stone-cold voice calmed me right down.

At that point, I noticed that no one was coming within a set radius of us. "...Natsunagi, I'm not the bad guy here."

"That's what they all say."

Apparently, my new partner was also a lot harsher than she looked.

A simple job: Protect a three-billion-yen family treasure

"Erm, ahem! I apologize for losing my composure yesterday!"

We really had been tired that day, so Natsunagi and I had come to meet with our client—Yui Saikawa—on another day. She'd invited us to her house, and we'd settled in, facing each other across a table.

And yet...

"Why are you so far away?! This table is a couple of yards long, at least!" "What, really?! I don't think so!"

"Then why are we shouting?!"

"Because we couldn't hear each other if we talked normally! Obviously!" "Which suggests that the problem is with your house!"

Long story short, this was Yui Saikawa's house—although it would be better described as a mansion. Maybe even a castle.

After we'd gone through the massive front gate, it was several kilometers before we reached the door of the actual house. Once we were inside, the foyer ceiling was at the top of a wellhole so high it might have breached the stratosphere, and the bathroom she let us use was so spacious that several big adults could have spent the night in there.

That was how magnificent, glorious, and brilliant Yui Saikawa's home was. In other words, she was one of your "rich young heiresses." She must have grown up pampered and doted on, so it made sense that she'd call herself "the cutest." ...Did it, actually?

Well, never mind that. At any rate, the day after Natsunagi and I met her in front of the train station, we'd gone to her house to hear her request.

However, before that...

"Did you hurt your left eye?" I asked after we'd reseated ourselves across the table from each other instead of at the ends (should've done that in the first place).

Saikawa's left eye was covered with an eye patch, as it had been the day before as well. Now that I thought about it, I remembered that even when she was on TV or gracing the covers of magazines, she wore a heart-shaped eye patch.

"Oh, this is... Hmm, it's like...part of my public persona? Or something like that." Saikawa smiled wryly. "It's an idol-eat-idol world out there, you know."

If she was keeping that up even out of public view, she must be a real professional.

"Come to think of it, quite a while back, I had to wear an eye patch after an injury, too."

"Well, shelving that topic for now."

"Hey, if anyone's gonna say that, I think it should be me."

...Eh, never mind. Let's just get on with it.

"I apologize for hastily calling out to you," Saikawa said. "You see, there isn't much time left."

"Oh, right, you were talking about a three-billion-yen diamond being stolen?" I replied, remembering what Saikawa had said in front of the station the day before.

"It's a sapphire, not a diamond... Um, were you listening?"

Whoops—she caught me. Frankly, my fatigue had won out yesterday... well, more like I was still mostly in my own head. Either way, I hadn't been very focused on her request.

I was doing my best to stay calm in front of Natsunagi, but I'm only human.

I'd thought my former partner was dead. Then I learned her heart, at least, was alive...and right now, it was beating right next to me.

That fact alone was more than enough to process. Although, if I'd said anything that sentimental, my old partner probably would have laughed at me.

"And you're the assistant, aren't you? My business is with the detective..." Harsh. But not wrong.

For the past four years, I've never been anything more than the assistant, and even now, the detective is—

"—Heh-heh! That's right. You may entrust all your worries to this ace detective, Nagisa Natsunagi!"

Natsunagi crossed her arms triumphantly, looking smug.

Geez, where is this self-confidence coming from?

"Now then, Miss Saikawa. Would you tell us about the matter in detail?"

That said, if she was into it, there was no need for me to be a wet blanket. I am just the assistant, after all.

"Well, you see..."

Then Saikawa began to tell us what had prompted her to bring her request to us.

"I see."

After we'd heard the whole story, Natsunagi nodded. According to Saikawa, this was what had happened.

One day, a letter had been delivered to this grand mansion, the Saikawa residence. "On the day of Yui Saikawa's dome concert, I will relieve you of a sapphire whose market value is three billion yen."

I didn't know any thieves went out of their way to send calling cards nowadays, but here we were. We'd just have to roll with it.

At any rate, this was a clear advance notice of a crime, and that crime would take place on the day of active idol Yui Saikawa's dome concert (which was scheduled to take place in a week). She wanted us to head it off before it happened.

Still, what had brought her to us, specifically? Was it my talent for getting into trouble, or had that heart summoned her?

"Do you have any idea what that three-billion-yen sapphire might be?" "Yes. I'm certain it's our family treasure, the Miracle Sapphire. It's in the

vault."

Vault, family treasure, Miracle Sapphire. All those words were tailor-made for an incident like this one.

"I have that big concert next Sunday, so no one will be home. I think they

plan to use that opportunity to steal the sapphire."

...For someone who'd made careful plans, the criminal seemed to have given them all away in that notice. Seemed counterintuitive.

Or did it mean they were confident they'd be able to pull off the theft even if they sent advance notice? A thrill seeker might go for something like this.

"But if you know when the crime's going to take place, couldn't you just beef up security on that day? This house must have an army of private security."

On the way to this very room, we'd seen brawny-looking men in suits all over the place. If they were already taking care of it, we shouldn't have to come into this at all.

"No, as I said, that's not possible. My concert is on the day of the crime." "Hmm? Oh, you mean your security personnel are going to be guarding

you at the venue?"

"Oh, no. They're huge fans, so seeing me sing and dance is more important to them than protecting a three-billion-yen sapphire."

"Then you should fire them all!"

This was one heck of a request. It was completely unfair. I stood up.

"Wait, Kimizuka." Unexpectedly, it was Natsunagi who stopped me. "She's been kind enough to come to us. Why don't we hear her out a little longer?"

"...What's going on? You're really taking the reins."

Had just introducing herself as an ace detective made her bolder? Nothing's wrong with being a go-getter, but... She didn't have to get deeply involved in this case. There was no guarantee she wouldn't regret it.

I'd been getting dragged into things for eighteen years, and so I and the formerly invincible ace detective were one thing. On the other hand, Natsunagi was an ordinary person, and this job might end up being too much for her.

Natsunagi put her lips close to my ear and whispered. "I mean, look. Look at her house. So if she has a request for us..."

...Oh. I get you. Well, yeah, the pay would probably be generous, but... "This isn't a job you do for money, you know."

"But we do need money, don't we? There's also no telling what jobs we'll get after this."

She had a definite point. After those three years of wandering, I probably understood the importance of money better than anyone.

But did that mean...?

Was Natsunagi prepared for that? For a life like the three years Siesta and I had spent together? She might be forfeiting her chance at a normal future—

"I want a new swimsuit..." "Hey."

...Well, never mind. Even if our goals were different, money actually was important.

I sat down again—and not because I wanted to see Natsunagi's new swimsuit. No, really, it wasn't.

Besides...

...this was a request from none other than the "idol from Japón," Yui Saikawa.

The tune Siesta had hummed two years ago seemed to stick in my ears. "Then is that what we're talking about? On the day of the concert, you

want Natsunagi and me to be here, guarding your vault?" "Oh, yes, something like that."

Hey, you wanna give us something to work with? I finally got motivated and everything.

"Actually, wouldn't it be better to leave that to the police?"

"I did speak with them about it, but all I had was the advance notice. They wouldn't pay attention."

...I guess they wouldn't. Ordinarily, the police only take action after something's happened.

On the other hand—and I'll admit this is a very mercenary perspective— there was a lot of money in this situation. If she flashed some of that, I get the feeling she could get them to reconsider.

"Bribing the police. That's certainly an idea I'd expect you to have, Mr.

Pervert," said Saikawa.

"I didn't even say anything."

"True, if one has no bread, she could just buy the baker." "Even Marie Antoinette would keel over at that one!"

Her face was cute, but this girl had zero respect for the entire world.

Smoothly picking her teacup up with her left hand, Saikawa elegantly sipped her tea. Although I hated to admit it, the gesture really suited her.

"And so, I'd like to show you the vault now."

Even as I wondered why she felt the need to say "and so," I knew that thread of conversation was a dead end, so I got up, following Saikawa's lead.

However, well, still...

"Hey, Saikawa." If nothing else, it would be best to get this particular question cleared up right now. "Why is the child the one placing this request?"

We were talking with Yui Saikawa—not her dad, and not her mom.

The Saikawa family treasure was in danger of being stolen, so why were there no adults at this meeting?

It was a completely natural question, and Saikawa explained:

"My parents passed away three years ago. I am the current head of the Saikawa family."

She gave the same smile she wore all the time on TV.

I bet it sucks to be an idol singer, I thought.

I won't die

After that, with Saikawa as our guide, we saw the vault, got a brief tour of the house, exchanged contact information, then adjourned for the day.

On the way back from the Saikawa residence...

"What did you think?" I asked Natsunagi as we walked side by side through the dusk.

"About what?"

"Do you think you'll be able to resolve this request?"

"If I said it wasn't what I thought it would be, would you get mad?" she asked.

"You think I'd be mad?"

I'd told Natsunagi not to try to be anybody's replacement, and she'd still stepped up and taken the role of detective. I'm sure part of it was due to momentum. Part of it was also the heat of the moment.

But this out-of-the-blue request wasn't the type most ordinary detectives would have taken. No wonder she was bewildered.

"I was kidding. Still, detectives have it rough, don't they?"

"Yeah, you may not be able to go back to your life as a normal high

schooler."

"I thought detectives only, you know...searched for runaway pet cats and that sort of thing."

"I think you owe every detective in the country an apology." That said, she wasn't entirely wrong.

"Yesterday..." Natsunagi stopped under a streetlight. "I had a dream— about Siesta. It was probably because of everything that just happened." She glanced at me.

"...I see. How was she doing?"

"She was incredibly beautiful, for one thing. I was kinda blown away." "I know, right?"

"Uh, I don't get why you're bragging about that, Kimizuka."

By the way, Natsunagi had never met Siesta, so she probably heard what I was saying the previous day, formed a mental image of her, and dreamed about that version.

"Did you two talk about anything?" "Um, actually, we fought like crazy..."

"When you meet someone in a dream, you're not supposed to come out swinging, y'know."

Although, I'm pretty sure I get it.

After all, Siesta and Natsunagi seem like complete opposites: a logical type and an emotional type, I guess you'd call it. You could say they share a lack of common sense, but anyway.

"We had a vicious, no-holds-barred argument. Neither of us would back down, and things got...a little physical."

"Glad I didn't have to see that." "But in the end..."

I heard Natsunagi inhale.

"...she told me to take care of you."

From under the streetlight, a steady gaze was focused on me. "...So, what, I caused that fight?"

Vaguely embarrassed, I tried to say something random and stupid to move the conversation along, but then...

"...! N-no, nuh-uh. We weren't fighting over you or anything, Kimizuka." "Huh? What's with that reaction? Now I'm even more worried..." "Aaaaaah, aaaaaaah! We are done talking about this!"

—And with that, the topic was folded up and put away. Natsunagi fanned her face with her hands, although it was pretty cool at this hour. "Anyway! Let's do this thing together. Me as the detective, and you as my assistant."

"Yeah, yeah. You do have that swimsuit riding on this." "You want to see me wearing it, don't you, Kimizuka?"

"Yep. There is nothing I want more than to see you in a swimsuit."

"Ugh, you could at least try to sound convincing." Natsunagi's cold eyes peered into my face. "But I guess it's all right."

"It is?"

"Yeah. If we manage to complete this request, wanna go to the beach together?"

"Don't jinx us. You'll get yourself killed talking like that." "No, I won't."

Natsunagi trotted a few steps ahead, then turned back to face me.

"I won't die. Whatever happens, I won't die and leave you behind."

Natsunagi set her hand over the left side of her chest. "Cross my heart." "Okay."

A crescent moon was floating in the pitch-black sky ahead of us, far and distant as we walked forward.

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