The Mob Character Who Woke Up!-Chapter 62: Lord Jason! (1)

"Hi there, kind friend! My name is Jason Starlham, and I sincerely hope you are doing okay! I apologize so much, I really should have paid more attention to where I was walking instead of admiring the beautiful campus architecture!"

The tall, objectively handsome guy, though definitely not as beautiful as Kaizen obviously since Kaizen was clearly the peak of masculine beauty, did not retract his outstretched hand even when Kaizen was taking his sweet time rubbing his bruised sides and groaning dramatically.

"No no no, Lord Jason, he should have been the one looking where he was walking! How could this peasant just bump into you like that? I bet he did it on purpose out of pure jealousy for your incredible beauty and radiant aura!"

The sound of aggressive dickriding came from somewhere to the side, and Kaizen realized with mounting horror that this Lord Jason Starlham was not walking around alone at all like a normal person.

The guy had brought his entire goon squad with him because of course he did. Obviously he would have goons following him around like ducklings imprinting on their mother.

That was how every single cliche stupid novel and game and show set in an academy works without fail.

There were two haughty looking girls and two male simps standing behind this peacock like bodyguards protecting royalty, and one of the guys was eating a banana in the most suspicious way possible.

Like he was pushing the entire banana deep into his mouth and then somehow biting the end off, but how the hell did he manage to bite the end if the whole thing was already too deep inside his throat? Very sus indeed.

Kaizen quickly averted his eyes from the sus banana guy because he absolutely did not need that kind of heat in his life right now or any kind of mental images that would haunt him later.

If SpreadedCheekz were to witness this exact scene, she would probably have a heart attack from excitement and then immediately have a massive payday from all the thirsty girls attending the academy who would pay good money to read about this exact scenario!

Kaizen was willing to bet his entire fortune, which admittedly was not very much at the moment, that beneath this guy’s stupidly kind demeanor he was actually a classist, elitist, racist, narcissistic douchebag who probably kicked puppies when nobody was looking.

Oh, and Kaizen genuinely believed that beautiful, lustrous, silky, long hair, which was still not as beautiful as Kaizen’s own silver hair that had not been combed since this morning obviously, was actually a wig!

Yes, an actual fake wig purchased from some expensive wig store!

’I am absolutely sure about it! Not that I am jealous or anything like that. I just feel it deep in my heart and gut.’

’Trust me on this one!’

"Yeah, that is right! Where the hell was this baboon even looking? He should have clearly seen Lord Jason walking gracefully towards him like an angel descending from heaven!"

It was a short girl with short red hair who was currently staring daggers at Kaizen from behind her precious lord like a guard dog protecting its master. Kaizen just blinked his eyes slowly and scowled because none of this stupid nonsense was actually getting on his nerves at all.

It felt like he somehow knew this would happen. Like, at this point in his cursed life, this was just common sense, right?

’Say whatever you want bitches and bastards, none of your pathetic insults are going to make me lash out at you like some kind of emotional teenager.’

’I am better than all of you. I am above all of you and that is a fact. So go ahead and throw whatever you have at me.’

Kaizen was feeling particularly smug about having his emotions under perfect control like a mature adult who had transcended petty insults, that was until another girl in the group, an elf with bright red hair that looked like it was on fire, coldly said while crossing her arms under her chest in that way that meant she was about to destroy someone’s entire existence.

"Even if this commoner had been looking up, with legs that short, like a chicken egg somehow stuck on two toothpicks, he still should have easily seen Lord Jason approaching from a mile away. After all, Lord Jason’s magnificent height practically touches the heavens themselves and casts a shadow like a mountain."

The other goons all laughed at this incredible burn like it was the funniest thing they had ever heard in their entire lives, and the sus banana guy actually threw his banana peel directly at Kaizen’s face like this was some kind of slapstick comedy routine.

Kaizen was too emotionally hurt to move out of the way so the gross banana peel hit him square in the face with a wet slap and fell down to the ground.

’Kurgg! Haa! I suddenly feel a knife stabbing through my heart! That bitch just stabbed me with words sharper than actual knives!’

’Hey, and I am not even that short, I am five foot seven inches and that is very tall for my age, very tall, okay!’

"Short king? Nah, more like short weiner who needs a step stool to reach the top shelf!"

The first girl chuckled coldly while covering her mouth.

’Hukk! My heart is actively bleeding out all over the cobblestones!’

Kaizen dramatically clutched his chest like he had been shot.

’No I will not be affected by these insults even if I literally die from them right here.’

’I will not bow down my head here in front of these jackasses who are probably compensating for something!’

That noble resolve lasted exactly three seconds until the elven girl gave him one final devastating stabbing in the form of words that would haunt him forever.

"I bet his little willy wonka down there is just as microscopic as he is, probably needs a magnifying glass just to find it."

’Did I die? Was I actually a bad guy in my past life who kicked orphans and stole candy from children?’

’If not then why the hell am I currently in hell and why is this she devil stabbing me repeatedly with her evil pitchfork made of pure malice!’

Kaizen felt a knife twisting inside his heart, wrenching around inside his ribcage and doing lasting emotional damage.

Obviously there was no actual physical knife stabbing him, but Kaizen was not lying about the pain here because the knife in question was of course the elf’s absolutely devastating words about his manhood that cut deeper than any blade ever could.

"Now now now, we...."