The Mob Character Who Woke Up!-Chapter 74: Bad luck strikes again

Kaizen’s eyes snapped open at the crack of dawn because his survival instincts were aggressively screaming that sticking around until his demonic roommate returned from his morning summoning rituals, which Klaus called workout sessions, was an absolutely terrible idea.

He rolled out of bed with the grace of a startled cat that had just seen a cucumber, shivering in the morning chill, and frantically undressed while keeping one paranoid eye glued to the door as if it might explode at any moment.

"Brush. Bath. Go. Speedrun strats only."

He muttered the commands to himself like a mantra as he practically vibrated through his morning hygiene routine at maximum speed, splashing water on his face and dragging a comb through his silver hair just enough to look like a functioning human being rather than a swamp creature.

He did not even look back at his bed or check under his pillow for any surprises, completely missing the generous gift Klaus had lovingly left for him, and sprinted out of the dorm room like the entire building was actively on fire.

The morning air was crisp and blissfully free of demonic mana as he power walked toward the Central Cafeteria with purpose, his stomach grumbling the ancient song of its people.

"Finally, some actual peace. Just me, my free slop, and absolutely zero main characters."

He grabbed a plastic tray and smiled at Helga, who dumped a full ladle of gray mush onto his plate with a wet thwack that sounded remarkably like a wet towel violently hitting a stone wall, but to Kaizen’s ears it sounded exactly like breakfast.

It was only seven in the morning, so the cafeteria was basically a ghost town, allowing him to eat in luxurious silence and pretend for just a brief moment that his life was not a chaotic train wreck of tropes and misunderstandings.

After polishing off his entire meal and drinking a cup of coffee that tasted like burnt rubber mixed with charcoal, he decided to laze around the campus grounds because going back to the demon infested room was simply not an option until he was absolutely sure Klaus had calmed down from whatever demonic ritual he was performing.

He wandered through the carefully manicured gardens while whistling a cheerful tune, until he spotted a massive, writhing mass of black uniforms in the distance that looked like a colony of ants aggressively swarming a dropped lollipop.

"What the hell is that? A riot? A flash sale on potions?"

He ran toward the commotion because his curiosity was unfortunately much stronger than his sense of self preservation, and tapped a nervous looking student on the shoulder.

"Hey, what is going on? Did someone important die?"

"Did you not know? It is the actual first day of classes for us first years! We are all looking for our assigned classrooms for the morning modules!"

The student looked at him like he was a complete idiot before diving back into the chaotic fray.

Kaizen blinked repeatedly as his brain slowly processed the information.

’Right. The Elemental magic classes are in the afternoon sessions. Mornings are for boring stuff like History, Anatomy, and Dungeon Studies.’

’I completely forgot this was an actual school and not just a survival horror game.’

His heart started to pound a frantic rhythm against his ribs because he suddenly had a very, very bad feeling about exactly where he was going to end up.

With his luck stat, which was currently sitting at a solid negative five, he knew with absolute certainty what kind of disaster awaited him on that notice board.

He tried to push through the solid wall of students, but it was like trying to physically shove a mountain. Elbows were flying everywhere, people were shouting, and someone stepped on his foot with a boot that felt like it was made of solid lead.

"Excuse me. Pardon me. Coming through. I have asthma and a medical condition!"

He genuinely did have the mild asthma debuff. Nobody moved an inch.

Desperate times called for desperate measures, so Kaizen narrowed his eyes and targeted the student directly in front of him who was blocking the view like a human shield.

"Forgive me random student, but this is a tactical necessity for survival."

He gently, discreetly, tickled the student’s waist.

"Eeek!"

The student yelped and jumped to the side as if they had been violently electrocuted, creating a momentary gap in the flesh wall.

"Thank you for your noble sacrifice."

Kaizen slipped into the opening like a grease covered eel and finally stood victorious before the massive wooden notice board that cruelly listed the fates of two thousand students.

Kaizen decided to just look for his own class assignment first and worry about tracking the other main characters later when he was safely in the classroom, since he absolutely could not possibly fight his way to the other side of the board to look for each and every main character’s class in this aggressive crowd.

He scanned the board frantically, his eyes darting across the printed names like a laser scanner in a grocery store.

"K, K, K, where the hell is K? Come on alphabet, work with me here."

He found the K section. He found Kaizen Renji Asahina printed in black ink.

And right next to his name, written in bold, unfeeling black letters, were the words that sealed his absolute doom.

Class 1, Division A

Kaizen stared at the letters. He closed his eyes tightly. He opened them again very slowly, genuinely hoping it was a hallucination induced by stress or perhaps the dead rat he still did not know about yet.

"Class 1-A."

It was the universal code. In every single anime, every manga, every light novel ever written in human history, Class 1-A was always the Hero Class.

It was the class where the Protagonist sat by the window. It was the class where the Villain sat mysteriously in the back corner. It was the class that always got attacked by terrorists during field trips.

His brain immediately started playing through every possible disaster scenario.

Class 1-A meant Leo would be there. Klaus would definitely be there. Probably Cedric too. Maybe even Lance. Possibly the racist Princess. The dwarf. The half orc. Every single character designed to cause chaos.

"This is a statistical impossibility. There are multiple divisions. Multiple classes. The odds of all the main characters being in the same class are astronomical."

He paused.

"Which means the universe is actively rigging this against me specifically."

A student behind him shoved him forward.

"Move it! Some of us actually want to see our class!"

Kaizen stumbled forward, getting ejected from the crowd.

"There is absolutely nothing I can do. The plot hates me personally and wants me to suffer."

His shoulders slumped in complete defeat as the crowd jostled him from behind, effectively spitting him out of the mob and onto the path leading toward the main academic building.

He walked like a man marching to the gallows, dragging his feet along the pristine marble hallway until he stopped in front of a massive oak door with a golden plaque.

CLASS 1 - A

He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of lemon polish and impending disaster.

"Maybe I can just drop out entirely and become a farmer. I could have a nice hilltop house like that one particular farmer named Thomas Miller who definitely has a peaceful life."

He stood there for a full minute, seriously considering it.

Then he heard voices from inside the classroom. Familiar voices.

"Did you see the list? We are all in the same class!"

That was Leo’s voice. Enthusiastic and loud.

"How unfortunate."

That was Klaus’s voice. Dry and demonic.

Kaizen’s eye twitched.

"I am going to die in this classroom."